To Change a Destiny
by Sassylou
Summary: Arthur is given a choice: save Mordred and accept the Old Religion, or let Mordred die and uphold everything his father built. What if Arthur chose to accept magic back into his kingdom? This is my take on what might have happened if he'd chosen differently when the Disir presented the choice to him. Eventual reveal.
1. Prologue: Decision

**A/N: So, this story begins during the episode in season 5, with the Disir. To me, that was one of the biggest pivotal moments in the whole show. So this fiction is based on the idea that Arthur _does_ accept magic back into Camelot. Everything up until this point is as it was in the show, and most of this first chapter will be exactly as it was in the show. The beginning part will be italicized (everything that actually happened in the show, as it happened), once the font goes back to regular, that's where I started tweaking the story. And for this first chapter, it really is just tweaking. You'll notice that most of the phrases sound very similar to the original. Some are word for word.**

 **Of course, that means that all the episodes after that never happen (in this fic, anyway). Morgana never locks Gwen in the Dark Tower, Merlin never meets Finna and never hears the prophecy of Arthur's death at Camlann, Kara never comes into the story, Mordred never betrays Merlin to Morgana, there is no battle at Camlann, Arthur never dies, Morgana never dies. At least, that's the plan for right now. It will probably change. I will pull bits and pieces from those last episodes of the show and incorporate them in. There will be a reveal in here somewhere, but it won't be the same as it was in the show. I was never satisfied with that reveal. So I'm going to do it differently.**

 **I will tell you now that I plan on doing a sequel to this one, eventually. I haven't really planned it out (and really, I'm still planning this one out-it's in the very beginning stages), but I do have a general idea for a sequel. Hope you all enjoy this! And sorry for the super long author's note.**

 **Oh, and obviously I don't own any part of Merlin. I wish. The BBC owns him and all the characters of the show. I only own the few OCs that will be introduced, later on. I'll let you know which ones are mine. The rest belong to the BBC.**

* * *

PROLOGUE: Decision (365 days)

 _Arthur and Merlin stood just outside the cave. With a sigh, Arthur took the sword from his belt and laid it down on a leaf-covered boulder. He caught Merlin's satisfied look. "I'm not totally insensitive, Merlin. I can see that some people feel this is a sacred place," he said, even as he started walking toward the cave. "I'm even prepared to admit that you're right sometimes. Obviously, I'll deny ever saying that."_

 _Merlin wouldn't have expected anything else. "Obviously," he replied, following his king._

 _They stopped in front of the three robed women, the Disir. "Arthur Pendragon," one of them said._

" _King of Camelot."_

" _We have been expecting you."_

 _Arthur knelt before them. "My men and I behaved with arrogance and stupidity," he admitted to them. Merlin knew how hard it was for him to admit that. "We dishonored this place and insulted your faith. I humbly beg your forgiveness."_

 _When none of the women responded, Arthur continued, "One amongst us, Sir Mordred, may yet pay the ultimate price. I'll come here to petition you for his life."_

" _Why should we help you?"_

" _I ask not for myself, but for a young man whose only crime was to sacrifice himself for his king."_

" _The future holds much pain and suffering for you, Arthur Pendragon. For you and your people."_

" _If you wish to save all you hold dear."_

" _If you wish to save your kingdom."_

" _Embrace the Old Religion."_

" _Learn from her ways."_

" _Bow to the goddess."_

 _Arthur looked down. Merlin knew what he was going to say before he said it. "You know I can't do that." Even though he'd expected them, those words saddened him. If only Arthur could see the good that magic could do._

" _Consider carefully. You have until dawn."_

* * *

 _Merlin returned to their camp, his arms full of wood. Arthur sat on the ground, staring up at the night sky. "How did you know this place was sacred?" he asked._

" _That's obvious," Merlin replied, setting down the kindling he'd gathered._

" _Pretend it isn't."_

 _Merlin thought for a moment before he answered. "Everything here_ _…_ _So full of life. Every tree, every leaf, every insect." Arthur was watching him curiously. He continued, smiling slightly. "It's as if the world is vibrating. As if everything is much more than itself."_

" _You feel all that?"_

" _Don't you?" How could anyone_ not _feel it?_

 _Arthur shook his head._

 _If the situation hadn't been so serious, Merlin would have insulted the thickness of Arthur's head, but instead he looked at the fire before getting to his feet. He sat across from Arthur. "What will you do?" he asked._

 _Arthur sighed, shifting. "I don't know." He shook his head slightly. "My heart says do anything I can to save Mordred. But I've seen what misery unfettered sorcery brings. Before my father outlawed magic, Camelot was almost destroyed by sorcery. In my own time, Morgana's used it for nothing but evil."_

 _Merlin watched his king, waiting for him to say more. "What would you do?" Arthur asked suddenly, taking Merlin by surprise. "In my place?"_

" _Me? I'm just a lackey, maker of beds."_

" _Lackeys can be wise."_

 _Merlin looked at the fire again. He knew that this decision was a monumental one. And he didn't want to be responsible for making that choice. He wasn't the king. It wasn't his choice to make. So he said nothing._

" _It's not like you to be silent."_

" _The kingdom's future is at stake." And for more reasons than Arthur would ever know. If they brought back magic, Mordred would live. Kilgharrah claimed that Mordred was destined to play a part in Arthur's death. But the Disir stated that embracing the Old Religion would save the kingdom._

" _And a man's life."_

Merlin did not want Mordred to survive, not if it meant Arthur's death. But this was his chance to fulfill part of his destiny, to bring magic back to Camelot. "You must do what is best for Camelot, what will make Camelot a just and fair kingdom for _all_."

Arthur frowned. "What are you saying? That I make magic legal once again?" Arthur sat up, his gaze intense on Merlin. "If I bring back magic to save Mordred, all my father's work will be for nothing. Sorcery will once more reign in Camelot. Is that what you'd want?"

Merlin's breathing quickened. Arthur normally brushed aside Merlin's opinions, but the way he was watching him now…Merlin knew that whatever he said would make a difference in this situation. The king was actually going to listen to his opinion.

"Perhaps my father was wrong," Arthur continued. "Perhaps the old ways aren't as evil as we thought."

Merlin was never going to get this chance again. Arthur was willing to try to see the good in magic. There would be more opportunities to stop Mordred. There would never be another opportunity like this to undo some of Uther's cruelty. There would never be another chance to bring magic back.

"So what should we do? Accept magic? Or let Mordred die?"

Merlin took a deep breath, trying to think of how he would phrase it. "You can't let one of your own die."

Arthur sat back. "But can I afford to have magic running wild once again? I've seen so much evil at the hands of sorcerers."

"Not all sorcerers are evil."

"I've never met a sorcerer with good intentions."

Merlin gave his master a sardonic look. "Of course you haven't. Any sorcerer with good intentions isn't going to want to break the law. Those who conspire against you, whether they use magic or not, have no regard for laws. Sorcerers have been hunted down and killed for a skill that they possess. Some of those sorcerers have lashed out and caused harm, but only in retaliation."

"That doesn't make it right," Arthur argued.

"No, it doesn't. Neither is it right to kill someone for using magic to heal. And most sorcerers don't feel the need for retaliation. Most of them just want to practice magic in peace, and most of them practice magic for good and not evil. Most sorcerers no longer practice magic at all, because they respect the law, such as Gaius."

Arthur scrubbed his face with his hand. "How would I keep sorcerers from using magic to destroy the kingdom? There would have to be some kind of system to keep people from using it for evil. I can't fight _magic_."

Merlin looked at his hands, his heart beating wildly. He thought about revealing his own magic to Arthur, but…Somehow, he knew his friend wasn't quite ready for that. He was just barely beginning to accept magic in general. He probably wouldn't take too kindly to finding out that Merlin had been lying to him for several years.

"How can I keep my kingdom safe from people abusing magic?"

Merlin sighed. "I'm not sure, but Gaius may have an idea. I am positive that it can be done. It may take time, but it can be done."

"And you believe that magic may not be inherently evil?"

The servant shook his head. "I know it's not," he said quietly, hoping that Arthur wouldn't ask him _how_ he knew that.

Arthur sighed thoughtfully, crossing his arms behind his head. He didn't say anything else.

* * *

They entered the cave again. Arthur almost seemed…nervous. Merlin wasn't sure what answer he planned to give the Disir. They hadn't spoken again since the night before, and Arthur had given no indication on what choice he was going to make.

"You have returned," one of the robed women said.

"Is your decision made?"

"It is," Arthur answered. "I will do as you ask, but I must be careful about how I do it. Many people have abused magic in the past, and my people fear it. I must make sure that abuse doesn't happen again. I ask that you give me time to prepare my kingdom for the return of the old ways." Merlin breathed a sigh of relief. He couldn't believe it. Magic was going to be legal again.

Silence filled the cave for several heartbeats. "You must swear on your life, Arthur Pendragon."

"You have one year to bring magic back to your kingdom."

"If you fail to do so, you forfeit your own life."

After a brief moment of hesitation, Arthur nodded. "I agree to your terms. I swear on my own life that magic will once again be made legal in Camelot, no later than one year from now."

The three women bowed their heads in his direction. "And your kingdom will be safe for it."

Arthur got to his feet and started to leave. He paused, looking back at the Disir. "And Mordred? Will you heal him?"

"It is already done."

"And so long as you keep your word, you will live a long and prosperous life."

Merlin's brow furrowed. All he wanted was to make sure that Arthur had a long and prosperous life, but so many things seemed to be against that.

"There is one who can help you prepare your kingdom for the return of magic."

Arthur turned so he was fully facing the women again. "There is? Who?"

"He is the greatest sorcerer to walk this earth."

Merlin shifted his feet. He felt like the women were looking directly at him, though he couldn't see the exact direction of their gazes, not in the dim light of the cave and not with them wearing those low hoods.

"He is a friend of Camelot. He has been protecting your kingdom for many years now."

"You have met him, and you have falsely accused him."

Merlin narrowed his eyes. What were they trying to do?

"When you meet him again, you would do well to let him explain what truly happened."

Arthur shook his head impatiently. "Who is he? Where do I find him? I would appreciate any help that I can get with this task. It's not going to be simple to bring magic back to my kingdom."

The Disir seemed to find Arthur's questions amusing. "You do not find him."

"He will find you."

"His name is Emrys, but he goes by a different name."

"He is hidden in plain sight, disguised."

"What other name?" Arthur demanded. "Do I know him? How is he disguised?"

Merlin tensed. Was his biggest secret about to be revealed? After all he had done to keep it hidden, and Arthur was going to find out from three robed women?

"Farewell, Arthur Pendragon," the Disir said together.

"Go in peace. And do not fear the druid."

"His destiny was tied to this very decision. Had the answer been different, he would have played his part."

"Now, he is no longer tied to that destiny." This time, Merlin could tell that they were looking directly at him. Were they talking about Mordred?

"What druid-" Arthur broke off when they found themselves standing outside the cave. Arthur sighed, yanking his sword out of the ground. He began walking, toward their camp, where they'd tied the horses. "We should get going. It's a long ride back to Camelot. I'm assuming our one year begins today."

Merlin agreed.

"We'll need to talk to Gaius as soon as we return," Arthur continued. "Perhaps he will have some ideas on how to peacefully bring magic back. And perhaps, if we're lucky, we'll meet this mysterious Emrys along the way."

"Perhaps," Merlin muttered, still in a bit of shock. What did the Disir mean? It had sounded like they said that Mordred was no longer destined to kill Arthur. How could that be? How could a person's destiny change so suddenly? He knew that destiny was different than fate. No one could escape their fate. But destiny...a destiny could be ignored. He supposed it made since, then, that a destiny could also be changed.

He was deep in thought, and almost didn't notice Arthur's sideways glance. "Did I do the right thing? Or have I just doomed my kingdom?"

Merlin looked at him in surprise. "I think that you made the right choice, Arthur. Magic can be used for good, I'm sure of it. It just needs the chance."

"I hope you're right, Merlin."

* * *

 **I know a year seems like a long time. I haven't quite figured out exactly how long it will take. But they probably won't need an entire year. But they've got it if they need it.**

 **I'm not sure how often updates on this one will be. I'm currently working on another Merlin fanfic (which some of you may be following). Normally, I try not to do two fics at one time, but I can't get either one out of my head, so you get both. I'll try to be somewhat regular with the updates on both of them.**


	2. One: Doubts

**Thank you so much for the reviews! I do plan on bringing Morgana into it at some point; I haven't forgotten her. I don't know if she'll go back to being good (sorry, udkudk), but she will come into the story. Right now, I'm just setting everything up with Arthur and "Emrys."**

* * *

ONE: DOUBTS (361 days)

Arthur and Merlin rode into the courtyard, both exhausted. As they dismounted, Arthur saw someone come down the castle steps, looking perfectly healthy. And even though the Disir had told him he was healed, he was still relieved to see him up and about. "Mordred!"

He hurried forward, letting Merlin handle the horses, and clapped his youngest knight on the shoulder. "It is good to see you alive and well again. We were worried for a while."

The young man smiled slightly. "It is good to be alive and well again, sire. Gaius told me that you went to the Disir, to ask them to heal me. How did you convince them to agree?"

Arthur smiled tightly at the younger man. He was still nervous about the decision he'd made. He wasn't sure if it was the right one. He wasn't ready to tell anyone but a select few people, the people he trusted the most. Gaius and Guinevere would be the first to know, and then the council, which included his most loyal knights. "Don't worry about that."

"Sire, I…Thank you. I owe you my life."

The king was shaking his head before Mordred had even finished speaking. "Nonsense. You owe me absolutely nothing. You have saved my life many times. Go, celebrate your returned health. Is Gaius still in his chambers?"

"I believe so, sire," Mordred said. With a slight bow of his head, he made his way out of the castle courtyard.

Arthur started up the stairs, yelling, "Merlin!"

His servant caught up to him just before he reached the physician's chambers. He barged in without knocking. Gaius did not look very surprised to see him. "My lord. I see your discussion with the Disir went well."

Arthur sighed. "Yes. They agreed to heal Mordred, on the condition that I embrace the Old Religion." Gaius's eyebrow arched nearly to his hairline. "I have one year to bring magic back to Camelot." He had been surprised that they had granted him an entire year. He had hoped for at least six months, but had been expecting them to only grant him one or two months. He hoped a year was more than enough time to do all he needed to do.

Arthur sat down on a wooden stool with a sigh. He rubbed his face with his hands. "I agreed, but now I'm wondering if I made the wrong decision."

"No!" Merlin said, his eyes wide.

Gaius cleared his throat. "Uh, why don't you tell me exactly what the Disir said to you, sire?"

Arthur nodded, and began relaying the Disir's words to the old physician. He told him that the Disir gave him one year, and if he didn't hold up his end of the bargain, he would forfeit his own life. He repeated the Disir's promise of him having a long and prosperous life so long as he did as he'd promised. Then he told Gaius about the sorcerer who was supposedly a friend to Camelot, a man in disguise by the name of Emrys.

"Emrys?" Gaius repeated sharply. He glanced, very briefly, at Merlin. Arthur wasn't sure what that was all about. "The name the Disir gave you was Emrys? And they said this man would help you?"

"Yes. Gaius…" Arthur trailed off, noticing the slight grin on the old man's face. He knew that Gaius hadn't really agreed with the laws banning sorcery. He also knew that Gaius had practiced sorcery at one time, and he was not an evil man. Nor could Arthur imagine him ever being evil, which gave him hope that he had made the right decision.

It also made him realize that Uther had been very wrong. Magic, on its own, was not evil. It was how it was used. Arthur supposed magic was much like a sword. A weapon that could be used in many different ways, to protect or to destroy.

Arthur leaned forward, his eyes on Gaius. "What do you know?" he demanded. It was obvious that the old man knew something about this mysterious Emrys. "You recognized the name. Do you know who this Emrys is? His true identity? The Disir told me that Emrys is only one of the names he goes by, and that he is hidden in plain sight, disguised. He could be anyone. What do you know about him?"

"I'm afraid I can tell you nothing useful."

"Gaius, if he can help me bring magic _peacefully_ to the kingdom, then I need to speak to him. Do you know where to find him?"

Gaius opened his mouth to answer, but Merlin spoke first. "Arthur, they did also tell you that Emrys would find you, not the other way around."

Arthur groaned, frustrated. "I don't want to wait on the whims of some sorcerer!"

Merlin ducked his head. Arthur was certain he was hiding a snarky grin. If they'd been alone, Merlin surely would have told him that he was acting like a spoiled king again.

Gaius sighed. "I'm afraid I don't have any information for you, sire. It sounds like you will have to wait for Emrys to reveal himself to you."

Arthur sighed, irritated. He stood. "Thank you, Gaius. Until I know more information, I think we should keep this knowledge between ourselves. I will tell Guinevere, of course." He did, after all, trust her opinion on important matters. She was a very wise woman. "Please do not say a word to anyone else. I will bring the matter to the council when I feel ready."

Gaius and Merlin both nodded in agreement.

"Merlin, take the rest of the day off."

His servant looked at him in surprise. Arthur wasn't in the habit of giving him time off. "Sire?"

He rolled his eyes. "Just enjoy it, Merlin, before I change my mind and give you extra work." With that, he left the physician's chambers.

He rushed to his own chambers, where he found Guinevere looking out the window. She turned as he entered the room. "Arthur! I saw you and Merlin return nearly an hour ago. Where have you been?"

"We had to speak to Gaius right away."

"What happened? Tell me."

And so he did. He told Guinevere everything he'd told Gaius. "Do you think I've made the right decision?" he asked, once he'd finished. Merlin and Gaius both seemed convinced that he'd done the right thing, but what did his wife think? Would she agree with his choice?

"Oh, Arthur. It doesn't really matter what I think. Do _you_ think you've made the right decision? You've always followed your heart, and it's caused you to become a wonderful man and king. Do _you_ believe your decision was the right one?"

Arthur thought about it. Despite his doubts and concerns, he did feel that this was the right course of action to take. He'd always felt that his father's manic hunt of sorcery was unjust. And even though he'd mostly seen the evil of magic, perhaps there was good in it, too. Perhaps he just needed to give it the chance to be used for good.

* * *

Merlin sat across from Gaius at the table. Neither of them had said a word since Arthur had left, but they were both struggling not to smile.

Gaius finally broke the silence. "He agreed to bring magic back."

Merlin's smile broke through. "I know. I never thought it would actually happen. I'd hoped, but…It's really happening. And, according to the Disir, Mordred is no longer a threat. Apparently, he was only destined to kill Arthur if Arthur rejected magic. Now Mordred can have a destiny of his own choosing. I don't have to fear him anymore. Not when it comes to Arthur's life."

"It would certainly seem that way. Will you tell Arthur that you are Emrys?"

Merlin sighed. "Not yet. Not while Morgana is still trying to learn my identity. Besides, I don't have any idea on how we're going to do this. Arthur can't simply lift the ban on magic. Uther was too successful in creating mass hysteria against it. The people would panic if magic was suddenly given free reign again. There needs to be some sort of system to keep magic from being abused. I just don't know what yet…" With another sigh, Merlin got to his feet. He had research to get started on. And perhaps he would make a trip to the Crystal Cave for some answers. At the very least, it would be a good place to meditate and think, inside the birthplace of magic.

* * *

 **I know, I know. The solution is probably really simple to all of you guys. But I can't imagine that it would be so simply for them to think of it. Bear with me, please. Sorry this one's shorter. I'm not really happy about Mordred surviving, but I couldn't kill him. That was the whole point of Arthur going to the Disir. It's not that I don't like Mordred. He's just an extremely complex character, and very difficult to pinpoint to write about.**


	3. Two: Suspicions

TWO: SUSPICIONS (347 days)

Arthur paced his chambers, frustrated. It had been nearly two weeks, and yet he hadn't heard or seen any sign of this mysterious Emrys. And he had no ideas on how to reinstate sorcery in the kingdom, not without causing mass panic. If he simply lifted the ban on magic - which he knew his council would never support - many of his subjects would be terrified. His father had been extremely successful in creating fear of sorcery. He needed Emrys, much as he hated to admit it. He couldn't do this on his own.

He was nervous, to work so closely with a sorcerer - and not just any sorcerer, but according to the Disir, the most powerful sorcerer to walk the earth - but he knew that magic couldn't return peacefully unless he was willing to fully accept it.

It was becoming easier to do, to accept magic. The Disir had said that Emrys was a friend of Camelot, and that he'd been protecting the kingdom for years.

The more Arthur thought about it, the more sense it made. How many times had things worked out miraculously? No, not miraculously, he now realized. Magically. Someone had been using magic to protect his kingdom. They hadn't been using it for evil. They had been using it for good.

It had to be someone close, someone living in Camelot.

But who?

It had to be someone who knew Arthur well, who knew where to be in order to help the kingdom best. That, of course, narrowed down his options.

Unless…

Perhaps Emrys was able to use his magic to get his information. He might not live in Camelot, after all.

Arthur sank into a chair, feeling hopeless. At this rate, he was never going to discover just who Emrys was.

His door slammed open, and Merlin burst in carrying a basket full of clean clothes. "Merlin," he rebuked softly, "will you ever learn to knock?" He was too distracted to really yell at his manservant.

"Sorry, sire," he said, though he didn't sound it. He began putting Arthur and Guinevere's clothes away in the wardrobes.

"Why hasn't Emrys revealed himself to me?" he asked, mostly to himself. He didn't really expect Merlin to answer him.

"Perhaps he's been overworked lately," Merlin snapped, his voice irritated.

Arthur looked at him. He was a little surprised to hear Merlin so irritated so early in the morning. He hadn't even done anything to try to annoy him yet. He was even more surprised to see dark circles under his servant's eyes. Arthur hadn't been giving him any more work than he usually did. In fact, Merlin had been even later than usual almost every morning in the past two weeks. What could Merlin possibly be doing with all of his spare time to make him so tired and late?

Arthur grinned suddenly. "Who is she?" he asked, his tone teasing.

"Who is who?"

"The girl. She must be something special to keep you up so late at night. Who is she?"

Merlin scowled. "No one. There is no girl."

"Oh, come now. You can tell me."

Merlin made a sound of irritation. "There is no girl, sire. I don't have time for romance, between working for you, and helping Gaius, and re-" Merlin broke off, clamping his mouth shut.

Arthur was curious now. "And what else, Merlin?"

"Nothing."

"Relaxing and drinking in the tavern, perhaps?"

"I don't go to the…Ugh. Never mind."

Arthur narrowed his eyes, watching Merlin finish with the clothes. Merlin had always helped Gaius while also working for him. So why was it suddenly so tiring? What had changed recently? What had changed in the last two weeks?

Emrys.

Merlin couldn't be…

But Arthur assumed that Emrys was someone close to him, based on all the times he'd been miraculously saved. He supposed it was possible for Emrys to work his magic from afar, being as powerful as he supposedly was, but he felt it was more likely that Emrys was someone close to him. Other than Guinevere, there was nobody closer to him than Merlin. And the Disir had said that Emrys was hiding in plain sight.

But Merlin?

Merlin was a bumbling idiot. He tripped over his own feet. He couldn't possibly be a sorcerer, let alone the most powerful sorcerer to walk the earth.

Could he?

"Merlin," he called.

The servant looked at him, still obviously irritated. "Yes, Arthur?"

He hesitated. What if he was wrong? Merlin would never let him hear the end of it. He got enough abuse from his own servant as it was. He didn't need to give Merlin more reason to taunt him. No, he needed proof before he accused Merlin of something so monumental. That was not something he could just come out and ask. "Don't forget to polish my armor, and muck out my stables, and clean my boots."

Merlin groaned, complaining as he left the king's chambers.

Arthur shook his head. Merlin could _not_ be a powerful sorcerer.

There was one thing in common with nearly every magical rescue in Arthur's life, though: Merlin. Camelot's troubles with magic had really started shortly before Merlin even arrived in the kingdom. He'd become Arthur's manservant by saving Arthur - from a sorceress. He always seemed to be there when Arthur had been saved. Except…

The orb of light that had saved Arthur on his quest to get the Morteus Flower. That couldn't have been Merlin. He was in Camelot, _dying_. No sorcerer, no matter how powerful, could send a spell that far.

Could he?

Arthur squirmed in his seat at that thought. If Merlin was Emrys, and he had sent that orb of light, then he was incredibly powerful. He could destroy Camelot with a flick of his wrist.

And he let Arthur order him around and belittle him?

Why would someone with so much power be a servant? Merlin could be king with that kind of power. He could be anything he wanted, and he chose to be a _servant_?

Merlin was the opposite of everything that Uther had taught him sorcerers were. Merlin couldn't be evil if he tried, Arthur was sure of that. He could be obnoxious, but he had a pure heart. He could be very wise, at times. Not that Arthur would ever admit any of that to him.

And he was Arthur's best friend. He was the only person who told Arthur when he was being an arrogant ass. Not even Guinevere was as honest with him as Merlin was, not in the blunt way that his manservant was. Merlin had been honest with him about everything, except his magic.

It hurt Arthur that his friend hadn't trusted him with that secret, but he could understand why Merlin would have lied about practicing magic. It was illegal, and Arthur would have had to exile him if he'd ever found out. He would have had to execute him, according to his own laws. He was glad he was going to be changing those laws.

In fact, perhaps that would be his first step in restoring magic. Execution should not be the only punishment for casting a spell. Only if that spell was used against the crown, or to murder someone, should it be punishable by death.

Maybe, just maybe, this seemingly impossible task was actually possible.

* * *

 **I know Arthur's reaction in the show to Merlin's magic was almost hateful, but I feel like he'd be a little more understanding if he'd come to the conclusion on his own, and if the circumstances weren't so dire. I think a lot of the reason he was so angry in the show was because it was yet another person to have lied to him and betrayed him. Without Mordred betraying him, he might be more understanding about Merlin's lies. Sorry for another short chapter. Hopefully the next one will be longer. I might even be able to get it up tonight.**


	4. Three: Magic Itself

**Okay, so here's another one for tonight. I was on a bit of a roll earlier, but now I think the roll has been paused. It might be a little bit before I get the next chapter up. Anyway, enjoy.**

* * *

THREE: MAGIC ITSELF (344 days)

Merlin sat in shock in his room. He couldn't believe it. He had just gotten back from a trip to the Crystal Cave, only to hear the shocking news from Gaius, who had been at the council meeting that morning, the meeting he was sure to get into trouble for missing.

Arthur had made an announcement to the court that the punishment for practicing magic was no longer a guaranteed execution. The punishment would be decided based on the crime itself, and not the means by which the crime was committed.

It was really happening. Magic was coming back to the kingdom. Arthur hadn't made magic legal again, but he had taken that first step. It was a small step, but it was nevertheless a step. Merlin knew that he had to be careful about how quickly he made the changes.

He just hadn't expected Arthur to take that first step so soon, but he was glad.

He supposed it was time for Emrys to make his appearance. Arthur had shown that he had every intention of keeping his word with the Disir. Merlin had finally come up with a solution, and he'd learned some things about himself in the Cave that he hadn't expected to learn. He'd only gone in there to meditate. It was time for him - or rather, the older version of himself - to work with Arthur. He gathered his things, and made his way to Arthur's chambers.

He nodded to the guards outside the door, smiling cheerfully as he started to walk past them - he didn't need them saying that they'd let Merlin into the king's chambers only moments before a sorcerer appeared inside. Only a moment later, they slumped against the wall, unconscious. He was fairly certain they hadn't seen the gold in his eyes as he'd thought the spell - he'd never seen the glow himself, but he knew that sorcerer's eyes changed to gold whenever they performed magic. Merlin made sure the corridor was empty before pulling on a red robe. Then he donned the ever useful aging spell.

He barged into the room, not bothering to knock - he knew Gwen was spending the afternoon with her brother, Elyan.

Arthur, who was sitting at his desk, was writing on a piece of parchment. He didn't look up as he said, "Merlin, if I find out that you've spent the morning in the tavern again, I will happily strangle you. Where have you -" his voice cut off with a yelp as he finally looked up, and he nearly fell out of his chair.

When he saw Merlin - not that he knew it was Merlin - he narrowed his eyes and reached for his sword. " _You_ ," he spat. "Dragoon, wasn't it? You killed my father."

Merlin grimaced. Dragoon? What had he been thinking when he came up with that name? That was a ridiculous name. He really was an idiot. "I did not kill Uther. This did." He pulled the necklace that had actually killed Uther from his pocket and threw it to his king. "This was around his neck, though I didn't know it until after the fact. It belonged to Morgana."

Arthur caught it and studied it, frowning. "Morgana?"

"Yes. Agravaine told her what you planned, I believe. She enchanted that necklace to reverse the effect of any healing spells performed on him. I tried, Arthur." Merlin's voice was pleading. He needed his friend to understand that he truly had tried, even if he didn't know that it was him. "If I'd known about the necklace, I would have removed it before trying to heal him."

The king narrowed his eyes further. "Even though he would have gladly killed you?"

"How can I prove the good in magic if I use it for evil purposes? I am not sorry that you became king, but I _am_ sorry that Uther's death was an unnatural one. I never liked him, but I never wanted him to die."

After a brief moment, Arthur lowered his sword. He dropped the necklace onto his desk. "Who are you and what are you doing here? How did you get past my guards?"

Merlin snorted. "They have absolutely no training against sorcery."

Arthur's eyes widened. "You can train _against_ sorcery?"

And Arthur always called _him_ an idiot. "Of course. But it takes sorcery to do so. Defensive and shielding spells, for example."

"Hmm. Who are you?"

Merlin arched an eyebrow and plopped into one of the chairs at the table. "You haven't guessed? I thought the Disir told you I'd find you?"

" _You're_ Emrys? I thought Emrys was -" Arthur stopped talking, looking confused. He was studying Merlin carefully, searching his face for something. Merlin was confident he wouldn't recognize him - he hadn't either of the last two times he'd seen him. Arthur was amazingly unobservant sometimes.

"You thought I was what?"

The king hesitated. "I thought you were…younger."

"Who says I'm not? I could be older, I could be younger. You'll never know my exact age. I could be a girl, for all you know."

Arthur, amused, sat across from Merlin. "You're really a girl?"

Merlin scowled. He should have known that would be the wrong phrase to use with the prat. "No. Of course not."

"Hmm. So is Emrys your real name? Or is Dragoon your real name?"

"Emrys."

Arthur's eyebrows rose in surprise. It was clear he hadn't been expecting that answer. It made Merlin wonder what answer he had been expecting. "Emrys? The Disir told me that you went by a different name. Who are you, really?"

With a cheeky snarl, Merlin said, "I am who I am, and I am who I was, and I am who I will always be!" Then he sighed. Perhaps that wasn't the best approach to take with the king. He needed to have a serious conversation. "Names do no matter, Arthur. Names - and titles - don't make the person. Actions do."

Arthur's answer was a sincere one. "I agree...Emrys. Your actions, in fact, have shown you to be a true friend to Camelot. I'm only beginning to realize all the times that you have saved me and my kingdom. The orb of light when I retrieved the Morteus Flower. The defeat of Cornelius Sigan. The reversal of the sleeping spell Morgause placed over the entire kingdom. There are so many more, I'm sure. I'm be willing to wager that you've had a hand in every magical obstacle we've overcome in the past several years. Am I right?"

Arthur was watching him closely. Merlin scratched the back of his neck, his cheeks flushed. "Well, yes," he admitted. It was strange for him to admit something like that. All these years, only Gaius had known the truth.

The king nodded, looking satisfied about something. "I thought so. You have been using magic, at the risk of your own life, to protect others. You have proven to me that magic can be a source for good. Will you help me bring magic peacefully back to this kingdom?"

Merlin tried to hide his smirk as he placed his feet on the table. He saw Arthur's eyes narrow and knew the only thing stopping the king from throwing something at him was the fact that he didn't look like himself. He was sure he would hear all the complaints about it later. "You've got a decent start."

"I do? Oh, the announcement I made today. Wait. Only my council knows about that. My own manservant wasn't even there - he was probably wasting his morning in the tavern. How do you know? Are you someone on my council?"

Merlin rolled his eyes. Why did Gaius always say he was in the tavern? Merlin could count on one hand the amount of times he'd been to the tavern since he'd moved to Camelot. "No. I'm a very powerful sorcerer. I know things. I am most certainly not on your council." And that wasn't even a lie. He was often at the council meetings, to serve Arthur, though he hadn't been there that morning. But he was not an official member.

Arthur huffed, annoyed. Merlin knew that he was anxious to discover his identity. "So you agree with what I did?"

"Oh, yes. It's an excellent place to begin."

"What should I do next? Lift the ban altogether?"

Merlin's eyes widened. "No, not yet! Before you do that, you need to implement a judicial system for magical crimes, to decide the severity of the crime and the punishment that should go with it. If you lift the ban without some sort of guidelines in place, the people will panic. And the council will never agree."

Arthur winced at that. It was obvious to Merlin, who knew him so well, that he'd had these same concerns. "I know. I don't know that I trust myself to judge these crimes fairly, though. I don't know the first thing about magic."

"You need a Court Sorcerer, someone well-versed in the different types of magic and spells."

The king looked interested. "There are different types of magic?" he asked, leaning forward.

Merlin put his feet on the floor, nodding. He stroked his long beard as he spoke. "Oh, yes. The Sidhe have their own kind of magic, one that only they can use, which they channel through enchanted staves. Well, some humans can wield a Sidhe staff, but that's very rare. There is troll magic, which you've seen." Arthur shuddered visibly. "There is the magic of the Old Religion, which is the source of all human magic. Dragons and Dragonlords also use it. Dragonlord magic is a branch of the Old Religion. Dragonlords are able to talk to and control dragons. Then there is the gift of prophecy. It's not a power that can be learned. One is either born with the gift, or not. There is a Crystal Cave which can give someone with magic a glimpse of the future." Merlin couldn't help the slight bitter note that crept into his voice when he mentioned the Crystal Cave. He had been happy in his ignorance, thank you very much.

"Have you been to this Crystal Cave?"

Merlin scowled. "Yes. Just this morning, in fact. And I do not recommend it. Knowing the future is a burden more often than not. And sometimes, when we try to change the future, we only guarantee it."

Arthur nodded thoughtfully. "Are there any other types of magic?"

"Yes. Elemental magic, which is self-explanatory. Time magic. This is mostly only used by magical creatures. Human sorcerers can't perform this kind of magic. Well, there is one human sorcerer who can." Merlin suppressed his shudder. He'd never understood why Gaius had been so frightened that first day they'd met, when he'd slowed down time to save him. But he'd realized that time magic wasn't something that a human sorcerer was supposed to be able to do. And Merlin had been doing it as long as he could remember. Sometimes, his own power frightened him. "Anyway, there is goblin magic. They mostly use it for pranks."

Arthur scowled, lightly touching his ears as if to make sure they were still little and round.

Merlin sighed. "Then there is dark magic, which is what you've seen the most of. Magic itself is neither good nor evil. The morality of magic is determined by how it is used and what the motives of the sorcerer are. There is no evil in sorcery, only in the hearts of men."

Arthur frowned. "You talk as though magic is a living thing."

"In many ways, it is. Magic is all around you. It is woven into the very fabric of the world."

"You've said that to me before."

"It's true. Arthur, every living thing has a spark of magic within it. With practice and study, one can learn to connect that internal spark with the magic of the world around them. Some people have bigger sparks than others and can more easily learn to manipulate magic."

Arthur studied him for a long moment. "I'm assuming you have a larger 'spark' than most?"

Merlin laughed without much humor. "I was born of the magic of this world. I am magic itself, apparently."

Arthur looked shocked. And a tad frightened. "You are…magic itself?"

"Basically."

The king was silent for several minutes. Then he sat up straighter. "Then you are probably very well-versed in the types of magic. Considering the explanation you just gave me, I would believe that. Perhaps _you_ should be my Court Sorcerer."

Merlin's eyes widened, and he was already shaking his head. "Me? No."

"Why not? Isn't that what you want? A title with authority? A seat on the council?"

"No! I don't want any more power than I already have." Merlin gave a self-deprecating laugh. He wasn't exactly thrilled with the discoveries he'd made in the Crystal Cave that morning. It was a bit daunting, to know that you were magic itself. "I don't want to risk the temptation of abusing that power. I just want magic to be free again."

"And it will be, Emrys. You have my word. If you won't be the Court Sorcerer, who will? You're the only good sorcerer I know at the moment."

"I can begin a search, sire," Merlin suggested, though he wasn't sure how he would manage that without Arthur figuring out exactly who he was. If he was to do this properly, he would have to do a lot of traveling. And he didn't need Arthur thinking that he was spending even more time in the tavern. "Perhaps I'll start with the druids."

"Hmm. I suppose. I don't have any better ideas, at the moment. How will we communicate with each other? It would be much easier if I knew who you really are…" Arthur trailed off, clearly hoping that Merlin would tell him. He was apparently still convinced that Emrys wasn't his only name.

Merlin shook his head. "It's too dangerous. Morgana is determined to discover my true identity, and I cannot allow that to happen."

Arthur almost looked…hurt. "I would never betray you to Morgana."

Merlin smiled slightly. "I know that. But it's safer if I keep that information to myself. As for communication, I will contact you."

"But-"

"Goodbye!" With that, Merlin rushed out the door. The guards were still unconscious, which he'd expected. He rushed to the end of the hall and quickly shed the red robe and the aging spell - he no longer needed the potion to undo it. Since his recent trip to the Crystal Cave, he'd found a new confidence in his own skills. With one last spell, he woke the guards just as he turned the corner. They never saw him.

* * *

Arthur shook his head, watching as "Emrys" left his chambers. The man was an idiot. Did he honestly believe Arthur hadn't recognized his stupid boots when he put his feet on the table? Though the beard and old man façade was certainly a good disguise. It was obvious to him, now that he knew who the old man was, that it was Merlin beneath the wrinkles and white hair. Arthur could see Merlin in the old face, mostly in the eyes.

Arthur had agreed to his idea of searching for someone to fill the role of Court Sorcerer, even though he had every intention of appointing Merlin with that title, whether he wanted it or not. In fact, it was better that he didn't want it. That would make Merlin perfect for the role and much less likely to become corrupt from it.

He stroked his chin thoughtfully. How to convince Merlin to accept the job? He would probably have to enlist some help. Guinevere would certainly have some ideas.

He was still wrapping his mind around the idea that his clumsy best friend was magic itself. He was almost...frightened of him. Or, he would be frightened, if it was anybody but Merlin who held that kind of power.

* * *

 **All of the information about magic came from the Merlin Wikia website. I explained it the best way that I could. Hope it made sense. I love the idea of Arthur knowing, but Merlin not knowing that Arthur knows. He, he.**

 **And, obviously, I took some of the stuff from the last two episodes and put it in here. I think, in the show, going to the Crystal Cave to get his magic back, Merlin learned a lot about himself. When he walked out of the cave, he just seemed so confident. I think that's when he really kind of grew into his powers. So, I gave him an excuse to visit the Crystal Cave, so he could learn all that cool stuff about himself. And I feel like it might freak him out a bit. Now he knows exactly what he's capable of.**


	5. Four: Court Sorcerer

FOUR: Court Sorcerer (343 days)

Arthur waited until morning to talk to Guinevere. As they ate their breakfast, with Merlin gathering the dirty laundry, he said, "I met Emrys yesterday."

Merlin paused for a very brief moment. Arthur pretended not to notice. This could be fun.

Guinevere looked at her husband in surprise. He hadn't said anything to her the night before. Partly because she had been excited about her day with her brother. But mostly because he'd wanted to watch Merlin's reactions as he talked about him. "You did? Was he helpful?"

Smirking slightly, Arthur leaned back in his chair. He was watching Merlin out of the corner of his eye. "Hardly." He saw Merlin's fists clench around the basket as he lifted it. "The old mad did suggest that I appoint a Court Sorcerer to oversee the punishment of magical crimes, but I probably would have come up with that on my own. Eventually. When I offered he position to him, he declined. Well, it was probably for the better. I'm sure he's an idiot."

Merlin stormed toward the door.

Guinevere looked rather confused.

"Oh, and his _teeth_ , Guinevere. Absolutely horrid. The stench, though, that was the worst. He -"

Merlin left the room, slamming the door loudly behind him. Arthur laughed. It was so easy to ruffle the man's feathers.

Guinevere looked between the door and her husband. Her brows were furrowed. "What was that all about?"

He leaned forward, lowering his voice. The doors and walls of the castle were thick, so he wasn't necessarily worried about being overheard. But he would rather err on the side of caution. "I know who Emrys is, who he really is. He came to me as an old man, about eighty years old, but I think he was using a spell to make himself appear that way."

"Who is he? Do I know him? And what does that have to do with Merlin?"

He nodded. "You see Emrys every morning. And most evenings."

Guinevere's eyes widened. She looked at the door again. "Merlin?" Arthur nodded. "Our Merlin is…a sorcerer? No. I don't believe it."

"I'm certain that he is. It makes sense, Guinevere. Very strange things happen when he's around. I'm sure you've noticed that. What I don't believe is the fact that he's been able to keep it hidden for as long. He's terrible at lying and keeping secrets."

"Except when it's truly important, apparently. Does he know that you know?"

Arthur shook his head. "I want him to tell me himself. I don't think he will, not until Morgana is destroyed. He said that she's intent on finding out who 'Emrys' is. That might be why she hasn't openly attacked us. Perhaps she knows how powerful 'Emrys' is, and that he's been protecting Camelot."

"I have wondered why she hasn't done anything recently. Why Emrys? Why would he choose that name?"

Arthur shook his head again, chuckling. "I don't know. He claimed that it's his real name, though we both know better. It's better than _Dragoon_."

Guinevere stared at her husband. "Dragoon? He's the sorcerer who healed my father! And the one who…" she trailed off, looking uncomfortable. Neither of them liked to discuss the death of Arthur's father.

The king sighed. His father's death still caused him pain, but there was no longer anger attached to that pain. He understood that Merlin had truly tried to heal Uther. "The one who tried to heal my father," he said. Guinevere had not been there either of the times that Arthur had met "Dragoon," but she had been told of the encounters. "Morgana found a way to reverse his healing spell. Merlin didn't kill my father. Morgana did."

"Of course Merlin didn't kill him. He never would." She chuckled softly. "Dragoon. I always thought that was a ridiculous name."

Arthur snorted. "Only Merlin could come up with something so stupid."

"Be nice," Guinevere rebuked. Then she looked thoughtful. "Merlin has magic. It makes sense. I have seen some very strange things happen around him. Did you really ask him to be the Court Sorcerer?"

"Of course I did. Don't tell him I said this, but I wouldn't trust anyone else with the title." He frowned at her, watching her quietly finish her breakfast. "Why? Do you think it would be a mistake?"

She shook her head. "No, no! I think it's brilliant. But you know Merlin won't accept. I think he prefers working from the shadows."

The king grunted in agreement and frustration. "The damn idiot doesn't want the position because he's worried about the power corrupting him. He's afraid he'd abuse the authority. I know he never would. He _couldn't_ , even if wanted to. He's too…Merlin."

Guinevere laughed softly at that.

"What? What's funny?"

"It's just…I've seen Merlin try to be evil, and he's absolutely terrible at it. He tried to kill you once, you know."

Arthur couldn't believe that. One thing that he had never doubted in all these years was Merlin's loyalty. Merlin was fierce in his attempts to protect his master. And while they insulted each other constantly, he believed that Merlin never truly wanted him harmed in any way. He couldn't imagine Merlin trying to kill him. "Me? Merlin tried to kill _me_? When?"

She struggled not to laugh as she explained. "Do you remember when he went missing, and you later found him in a bog? It was before we were married."

Arthur narrowed his eyes. "Yes…"

"Morgana had captured him. She used dark magic on him, so he was consumed with the thought of killing you. He was a terrible assassin, though. Even under a spell of dark magic, he was a terrible assassin. He later managed to break the spell - maybe using magic himself, I'm not sure."

Arthur should have been angry. He, at the very least, should have been worried that Morgana had managed to come so close to killing him.

Instead, he was amused. And satisfied. "I knew it! He doesn't have an evil bone in his body. Guinevere, Camelot _needs_ him as Court Sorcerer. He may prefer to work in the shadows, but the kingdom needs him working in the open. I just don't know how to make _him_ see that."

"Hmm. I'll have to think on it."

Arthur sighed. "As will I. In the meantime, I need to talk to Gaius again. I like Merlin's idea. I just don't know how to word it to the council in order to get them to agree. Gaius might have a suggestion."

* * *

Arthur sat back once he'd finished telling Gaius what "Emrys" had told him the day before. "What do you think? Is a Court Sorcerer the best course of action?"

Gaius looked thoughtful. Arthur wondered if Merlin would have discussed his idea with his mentor before he'd mentioned it to Arthur. Gaius had to know that Merlin was Emrys. His reaction when he'd heard the name told Arthur that he knew. "Yes, I think that would work. How will you decide who the Court Sorcerer will be?"

Arthur studied the old man. He wondered if Gaius would ask for the position, as he had once been practiced magic. As much as he respected Gaius, he was hesitant to give the title to him. Gaius was very old. "Emrys said that he'll begin searching. I think he was going to start with the druids. But I don't know any sorcerers well enough to simply appoint someone. Except Emrys. I feel I can trust him. I want him as my Court Sorcerer."

Gaius seemed shocked by that. "Sire, you've only met him once."

"Three times, actually. But I feel like I've known him for years. I feel like he's a close friend, someone I can trust with my life."

Arthur was watching Gaius carefully. The old man was looking decidedly nervous. Yes, he definitely knew Merlin's secret. How long had Gaius known?

Before either of them could say anything, the door opened.

Merlin walked in, covered in mud and hay and manure, a scowl on his face. He was carrying a pitcher of water, probably to clean up with. His scowl only deepened when he saw Arthur. "Come to give me more chores, _sire_?"

"Merlin! You stink worse than Emrys!"

Merlin's scowl deepened further.

Arthur stood, struggling to keep his face neutral. "I'm going to use Emrys's idea. I'm going to appoint a Court Sorcerer. While he's out searching for a possible sorcerer to fill that position, I'm going to bring the proposition to the council. Just as soon as I figure out the best way to phrase it to them."

Arthur left, his mind reeling. There was so much to do. He had to get Merlin to reveal his magic to him, he had to convince Merlin to accept the role of Court Sorcerer, he had to get his council to agree to _having_ a Court Sorcerer - he didn't necessarily have to have the council's approval since he was king, but he knew the transition would be better if he did have their approval.

And on top of all of that, he needed to eliminate the threat that Morgana had become. In all honesty, though, he wasn't too worried about her at the moment. It had been a long time since Morgana had done anything against the kingdom, and it seemed like she was too afraid of "Emrys" to launch any full-scale attacks.

He laughed, shaking his head. He could only imagine how angry Morgana would be if she ever discovered that Emrys was _Merlin_ , of all people.

* * *

Merlin poured the pitcher of water into a bowl and then he stripped off his tunic. He set to work trying to get rid of the stench that clung to him. He hated mucking out the stables.

"Was Arthur asking you about my suggestion of Court Sorcerer?" he asked, using a rag to scrub at his face.

Gaius sighed, nodding his head. "Yes. He liked the idea. Good job, Merlin. In fact, he wants you to fulfill the role. Well, he wants Emrys to fulfill the role."

Merlin scowled, shaking his head. "That is not my destiny. I'm meant to serve Arthur, not be a member of court."

Gaius arched that eyebrow of his. "There are more ways than one to serve, my boy. Everyone on the council serves Arthur in their own way. You would be able to serve the king just as well as Court Sorcerer as you do now, if not better."

"I might be able to serve him as Court Sorcerer, but I wouldn't be able to _protect_ him, not like I can now. As his servant, I'm _expected_ to be by his side. The job of Court Sorcerer would put me on the council. And as a council member, I wouldn't be able to be his servant any longer. I couldn't protect him as well as I do now. Besides, I don't want the power that would come from such a title. I have enough power as it is."

"You are more capable of remaining pure of heart than you believe."

Merlin didn't argue with his mentor, though he didn't exactly agree with him.


	6. Five: Round Table Mutterings

Five: Round Table Mutterings (330 days)

It took Arthur nearly two more weeks before he felt comfortable bringing it up to the council. In that time, he hadn't been contacted by "Emrys" again. Merlin was still looking exhausted. Arthur tried to go easy on him without making it obvious what he was doing. He really did appreciate Merlin's efforts.

Arthur watched as his council gathered at the Round Table - mostly made up his most loyal knights, in addition to Guinevere, Gaius, and Geoffrey of Monmouth. And, of course, Merlin was there to serve Arthur. He didn't hold an official seat on the council. Not yet, at any rate. Arthur still hadn't thought of a way to convince his stubborn friend to take the position.

Once everyone was seated, Arthur stood and cleared his throat. "As you all know," he began, "I recently traveled to speak to the Disir. They hold a lot of authority within the Old Religion."

As he'd expected, many members of the council began murmuring at the mention of the Old Religion. He could hear fear and mistrust in their voices. He held up his hand, cutting them all off. "Please. We must not fear the Old Religion. We -"

"Sire," Sir Brennis interrupted. It took Arthur by surprise. Merlin was usually the only person brave enough to interrupt him in public. He wasn't used to his knights doing it as well. "Have you already forgotten all that Morgana has done in the name of the Old Religion? All of the destruction that she has caused?"

"Of course I haven't. But Morgana is one person, abusing the powers of the Old Religion." Out of the corner of his eye, Arthur saw Merlin not just once, looking…proud. That gave Arthur a small boost in his confidence - not that he'd ever tell his servant that. He stood a bit straighter. "I know that we have all seen the evils that magic can do. But it can also be used for good."

"Good," Sir Geraint scoffed. "My sister was killed by sorcery."

Arthur sighed. Then he repeated something that Merlin had said to him. "Magic is neither good nor evil. There is no evil in sorcery, only in the hearts of men." He suddenly was very glad that Merlin didn't know that Arthur knew his secret. He was actually smirking, the smug little -

"Magic is corruptive," Sir Brennis argued.

Arthur struggled to organize his thoughts. "It…can be. But not in the way that you mean. Magic is…" he trailed off, floundering. He wasn't sure what to say, how to explain it.

Guinevere squeezed his hand as she stood. She smoothed her skirts. "Magic is power, it is authority. We all know that any type of authority can be corruptive. Having a position of power can lead some people to greedy and selfish behaviors, and that is not limited to magical power."

A poignant silence filled the room. Guinevere nodded to her husband and sat back down. He smiled gratefully at her. "We have spent so much time worrying about the evils that have been inflicted using magic that we haven't seen much of the good it can do."

Murmurs ran through the council again, but there was a little less fear and a little more speculation. Arthur felt himself smile slightly. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

"I myself have been on the receiving end of good magic on more than one occasion. Leon was saved by the druids a while back, and he believes they used magic to do so."

Leon nodded in agreement. "I would not be alive today if they hadn't done so."

Arthur took a deep breath before saying his next statement - he knew it wasn't going to be received well. "In fact, Camelot would not be standing today were it not for magic."

Silence, then:

"Preposterous!"

"Of all the ridiculous…"

"Sorcery has nearly destroyed Camelot!"

"Silence!" All eyes went to Percival. Not another word was spoken. The large knight nodded to his king. "Continue, sire."

Arthur nodded gratefully in return. He was glad that the giant of a man seemed to be on his side in this. "Thank you. I was told of a sorcerer named Emrys. He is very powerful, and he has been using his magic to protect this kingdom. And he never once asked for credit or recognition. He never asked for authority or status. He is a good man, I believe that. He is proof that magic can be used for good."

"Sire, you've obviously been lied to. Sorcery can only be used for evil," Sir Caridoc said.

Arthur heard Merlin sigh sadly, even as Gaius slowly rose to his feet. "Sire, if I may speak?"

The king gestured, signaling Gaius to continue. The old man was always polite at council meetings. He looked out at his fellow members. "Many of you are too young to remember much of the days before the Great Purge," he said. And in fact, he and Geoffrey were the only two on the council who had been adults during the time of the Purge. "I do remember. Magic was used to cure illnesses or heal the wounded. It was used as protection. Yes, there were some who abused it, but there were many more who used magic to do good."

Sir Brennis sneered. "And there will always be those who will abuse it."

"Which is why," Arthur cut in, "I propose that we appoint a Court Sorcerer, someone who is able to regulate the use of magic in Camelot and ensure that it is not abused. Someone who we can consult on matters of sorcery. Someone who can use his or her own magic to protect this kingdom. I wish to establish a Court Sorcerer. Then I will lift the ban on magic."

The uproar was immediate. It took Arthur nearly ten minutes to quiet everyone down. When he finally did, he said, in a tone that left little room for argument, "I fully intend to lift the ban on magic within the next year. I would rather do it with your approval, but I will do it without, if necessary."

"Sire, you can't -"

"I can, Sir Brennis. I respect the opinion of every person on this council. And I will give you all a chance to speak your minds, but in the end, I must do what I feel to be right. I know that this is not an easy change, but it is what is best for Camelot. I will not make the same mistakes that my father made. My father was a great man and king, but he was blinded when it came to sorcery. I've been blinded when it comes to sorcery. We have all formed a hatred toward magic, a hatred that is not entirely warranted. This hatred has left our kingdom vulnerable."

Gwaine frowned at him. He didn't look particularly angry, not like many of the other members of the council. In fact, none of his closest friends looked angry. Leon, Elyan, Gwaine, Percival, and Mordred all seemed to be listening to him closely and without any anger or fear. Mordred was even smiling happily. "How so?" Gwaine asked, sounding more curious than anything else.

Arthur sighed. "How many times have we have been attacked by magic? Often. I know now that not all sorcerers have ill intentions, but there are many out there that feel that they have been wronged and have tried to take retribution for that. Gaius, how many of these offensive spells against Camelot have required magic in order to defeat them?"

Gaius, looking a little uncomfortable, replied, "There have been several, sire. I'm not sure of the exact number."

Arthur looked out at his council, meeting each of them in the eye. "I had always thought that we had managed to find a way to defeat these spells _without_ using magic. I was a fool. No matter how mighty the sword, there are some spells that can only be countered with other spells. Camelot would have been destroyed long ago without magic being used in our defense. It was quite fortunate for us that we had Emrys to defeat those spells _using his magic_. Think how much better we could protect ourselves from magic if we used it as well."

The council was silent, mulling it over. That was a good sign. He still saw several faces that looked extremely angry, but nobody else spoke out. And many of the council members looked as if they were at least giving the idea serious thought.

"I don't expect any answers today. Think on it. I would much prefer having your approval for a Court Sorcerer. Dismissed."

Chairs scraped across the floor. Whispered conversations began as the members left the room. Arthur and Guinevere remained sitting. Merlin was still there, of course. He hadn't said anything during the meeting. He didn't usually.

Mordred paused near the door and looked back at the king. "For what it's worth, sire, I think it's an excellent idea." He shared a small smile with Merlin before leaving. The strange thing was that Merlin returned the smile.

Arthur frowned at that. Merlin had always distrusted Mordred, for some reason. The king had never understood it. And now, suddenly, they were on good terms? Arthur added that to the list of things he would get clarification on once Merlin revealed his secret.

"I don't know if I'll get them all to agree," he said, once the council had dispersed. "It would be much better if I could get the full approval of the council before I implement it."

Guinevere patted his arm. "I'm sure they'll come around. You can't implement it until you find a sorcerer to fill the position, anyway."

Arthur scowled. "I've heard nothing from Emrys. I feel like this is such a slow process. I know we still have three-hundred and thirty days to bring magic back, but I just wish we could get it done sooner." He was accutely aware of exactly how much time he had left to complete his task.

The queen nodded, opening her mouth to respond. Instead, she yawned widely.

Arthur narrowed his eyes at her. "Are you all right?"

"I'm just tired."

"You've been tired a lot in the past week. Are you feeling ill? Merlin, does the queen look ill to you?"

"Arthur," Guinevere protested, even as Merlin studied her face. "I am fine."

"She doesn't look ill, Arthur."

"See? Listen to Merlin. I'm fine. There has just been a lot going on. That's all. Don't worry."

Merlin sent his master a small smirk. "Yes, Arthur. Listen to me."

Arthur narrowed his eyes. "Shut up, Merlin."


	7. Six: Destiny and Secrets

**Thank you for all the lovely reviews! I am so glad that you all seem to be enjoying this. I know you're all anxious for Merlin to discover that Arthur knows. It will happen...eventually.**

 **To Guest: Yeah, Merlin's kind of being dumb about his destiny. No one ever told him that he had to be Arthur's servant forever. But, Merlin can be an idiot sometimes, and he can be very stubborn.**

 **To Oneli12 and udkudk: I've thrown around the idea of Morgana becoming good again. But I don't know if it will happen. I think she's a little too far gone for that. She did spend two years chained to the wall of a tiny pit with Aithusa. She's kind of crazy at this point. Besides, even if she does become good again, Arthur would probably have to execute her for all of the crimes she's committed. She has murdered so many people in her war against Uther and Arthur. I just don't want you to get your hopes up.**

* * *

Six: Destiny and Secrets (320 days)

Merlin paced the clearing, irritated. He was getting absolutely nowhere with his search for a Court Sorcerer. Of course, the process was rather delicate. He couldn't simply advertise a need for a Court Sorcerer for Camelot.

One, Arthur had yet to officially lift the ban on magic - there were still several council members adamantly against this course of action, though not as many a Merlin would have expected. Nobody would want to answer the advertisement while sorcery was still illegal.

Two, even among the druids, not all those who practiced magic were peaceful or trustworthy. Court Sorcerer would have a lot of influence and power. They couldn't appoint just anyone. He had to find out about each person's trustworthiness before he brought up the topic of Court Sorcerer. Needless to say, it wasn't exactly a quick process.

If he didn't have a job - or prat of a king to protect - he could travel freely and speak to more people. As it was, he'd been late to work several times - later than he normally was, at any rate. He'd even missed a few days, and _George_ had filled in for him.

 _George_.

Which, now that he thought about it, Arthur hadn't complained about his recent and constant tardiness. Much. Certainly not as much as Merlin had been expecting. He did repeat a couple of George's jokes about brass, in a mocking manner. But he had been rather nice to Merlin recently.

It was a little disconcerting, to be honest. Merlin could only assume it meant that the king had some nasty scheme up his sleeve. Perhaps he did plan on getting revenge for Merlin's tardiness.

Merlin shook his head as Kilgharrah landed in the moonlit clearing in front of him. The Great Dragon had agreed to help Merlin find a Court Sorcerer, though he had insisted that Merlin would be best suited for the position. Merlin gave him the same reasons he'd given Gaius, though there was a little more to it than that.

"Well?"

Kilgharrah looked rather amused. That was never a good sign. "The news is the same as the last time we spoke. Every sorcerer I have spoken to refuses to take the position. One old man told me that it is 'the destiny of Emrys,' and he insisted that he will not interfere with Emrys's destiny."

Merlin scowled. "My destiny is _not_ to become the Court Sorcerer of Camelot." He didn't understand why everyone seemed to think that.

Kilgharrah looked calmly at him. "You don't know that, young warlock." Merlin hated it when the dragon tried to be cryptic. It was very annoying. "It could be. Your destiny is to protect Arthur and to bring magic back to this kingdom."

"I _am_ doing that, as Arthur's servant. I don't need to become Court Sorcerer to bring magic back."

Kilgharrah watched him for several minutes. When he spoke, his voice held a slight rebuke. "Do not fear your powers, Merlin. You have proven time and time again that you are pure of heart."

Merlin crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't fear my powers." And he didn't, not anymore. Shortly after his talk with Arthur, as "Emrys," he'd begun to settle into his magic. He knew his own limits. He knew exactly what he was and wasn't capable of. He knew exactly how powerful he was.

He also knew that he had absolutely no intention of allowing that power corrupt him. He was the master of his magic, not the other way around. "If I become Court Sorcerer, I will have to reveal myself to Arthur. He's going to hate me." That was his biggest concern. His friendship with Arthur was dear to him. When Arthur found out that he had been lying to him for years, he was going to hate Merlin.

"He's working to bring magic back. He will not hate you for practicing it."

Merlin shook his head. "I don't think he'll hate me for _having_ magic. He'll hate me for _lying_ to him about it." He had seen how accepting Arthur was becoming of magic.

The Great Dragon sighed, obviously irritated with Merlin. Well, that was nothing new. He was usually irritated with Merlin. "I've told you this before, Merlin. One cannot hate that which makes it whole."

Merlin glared at the scaly creature. "You've also been wrong before. Mordred? He's not a threat."

Kilgharrah growled, a deep rumble in his throat. "He _was_. I do not control destiny. Nor am I a mouthpiece for the Triple Goddess, as the Disir are. If the Disir say Mordred's destiny has been changed, then it has been changed. But _your_ destiny remains."

Merlin's eyes narrowed even further. "I'm not taking the job. You were also wrong about Aithusa. That dragon has been nothing but trouble for Camelot."

The Great Dragon shook his head, grunting. "I am not all-knowing, Merlin!" His tone said that it was not a statement he enjoyed making.

"Then stop acting like it all the time!" Merlin snapped. "You don't know the details of my destiny any more than I do. Yes, I know I'm supposed to bring magic back to Camelot. But that doesn't mean I have to do it as Court Sorcerer."

Kilgharrah pushed himself into the air. "You are wasting the time that has been allotted to you," he said, even as he flew away.

Damn dragon.

Merlin sighed and began slowly making his way to the castle. Between his magic and his knowledge of Camelot, he was easily able to return to Gaius's chambers without being noticed.

Until he opened the door to the physician's chambers and he ran directly into Gwen, nearly knocking her over. He automatically reached out to grip her arms in an effort to steady her.

"Gwen?" He was very surprised to see her there. It was, after all, nearly midnight. What was she doing visiting the Court Physician so late at night? He couldn't quite read the expression on her face. It was an odd mixture of happiness and terror. "Is everything all right?"

She smiled warmly at him. But he could tell that her smile wasn't entirely genuine. "Oh, yes. I just needed to speak to Gaius about something."

"Are you sure? Are you feeling all right?"

"Merlin, I am perfectly healthy."

His frown deepened. "Is Arthur sick?"

Gwen shook her head. "Arthur is also perfectly healthy." She narrowed her eyes at him. "What are _you_ doing awake and wandering about at this time of night?"

"Oh. Um…" he trailed off, scratching the back of his neck as he tried to think of a reasonable excuse.

The queen gave him a knowing smile. She patted his arm. "Don't worry, Merlin. I know where you were."

His eyes widened. "You do?" How could she have known that he was meeting with the Great Dragon? And why was she so calm about it? The last time she had seen the dragon, he had been terrorizing Camelot. Nobody knew that Arthur hadn't actually given him a lethal blow and killed him. If Gwen knew that he'd been speaking with a dragon, then she would have to assume that he was a Dragonlord, which would mean that he had magic.

"Oh, yes. I promise I won't tell Arthur."

"You won't?" He didn't necessarily expect Gwen to reveal his magic, even to her husband - she was much too good of a friend for that. But Arthur was trying to bring magic back. He did expect her to at least try to convince him to tell Arthur.

"Of course I won't. It's your secret to tell, when you're ready. We both know how Arthur gets sometimes. If he finds out that you have a lady that you're courting, his teasing will be nearly unbearable."

"A lady that I'm courting." Merlin wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed that she hadn't been talking about his magic.

She smiled again. "She's a very lucky girl, Merlin, whoever she is." With that, she left.

It was only as he entered the chambers that he realized how effectively she had distracted him from his own questions. How sneaky of her. Gwen didn't normally act so evasive around him. Next to Arthur, she was his best friend. She didn't keep secrets from Merlin. This odd behavior of hers only increased his concern.

He looked at Gaius, who was preparing to return to bed. "Is everything all right with Gwen?"

"Yes, yes," Gaius said. "The queen is perfectly healthy."

Hmm…They both used the exact same phrase. "What is going on?"

The old man scratched his chin, not meeting Merlin's eyes. "Well…I promised the queen that I wouldn't say."

Merlin tried not to be hurt by that. He knew how important it was for Gaius to keep his promises, but from him? "What is it? You know I won't tell anyone."

"Merlin," his mentor told him sternly. "It is not my secret to tell."

The young warlock sighed. If he wanted answers, he would have to find them on his own. So instead, he quickly told Gaius what Kilgharrah had told him. Once he was finished, Gaius calmly said, "You may want to listen to him -"

"I'm not going to become Court Sorcerer."

Gaius sighed. "Just think about it, Merlin."

"I have thought about it. No."

Gaius shook his head.

* * *

 **Kilgharrah has never been my favorite character. I think he's pretty manipulative of Merlin throughout the show. And so many of the things that he tells Merlin are based off of decisions that are made. I think if he hadn't been so against Morgana and convinced Merlin not to trust her, Morgana might not have gone so evil. I think she just needed to know that she wasn't alone, and that Merlin was working to have magic brought back. She could have been a powerful ally in his goal to bring magic back.**


	8. Seven: Not Again

**Sorry in advance, but this one's shorter. Still, I hope you all like it.**

* * *

SEVEN: NOT AGAIN (319 days)

Arthur watched Guinevere as they ate their breakfast together. Merlin still hadn't arrived for work. The meal had been brought up by George. Fortunately, the servant hadn't made any remarks about brass this time.

"Are you feeling all right?" he asked.

Guinevere looked up in surprise. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"You've hardly eaten a thing." Most of her food was still on the plate in front of her.

"I'm just -"

The door clanged open, interrupting her. "Sorry, sorry!" Merlin apologized. He rushed in, carrying an armful of sheets. The manservant closed the door with his foot. "Merlin! Do you ever knock?" Arthur looked around. His gaze landed on his empty goblet. With a small grin, he threw it at Merlin.

The servant just barely ducked his head enough to avoid being hit with the missile. He smirked at his master. "You missed."

He didn't see the nearly empty bowl of strawberries flying through the air in his direction. It hit the back of his head with a dull thud. "No, I didn't."

Guinevere gave him a stern look.

Merlin scowled. "Ow," he grumbled, getting to work changing the bedding.

Arthur smirked slightly. He had to keep throwing things at Merlin, or his servant would get suspicious. Besides, it was part of their routine. And he had no intention of changing that routine anytime soon. Well, not too much. He was trying to ease up on Merlin a bit, seeing as the sorcerer was busy helping him in secret. But he couldn't ease up entirely.

"Arthur," his wife reprimanded. "Be nice to poor Merlin. Anyway, as I was saying earlier, I'm just feeling a little nauseous. It's nothing to worry about. I'm sure it will pass soon."

Merlin stopped what he was doing and openly stared at the queen, his eyes narrowed slightly. He was not even attempting to be subtle about it, which was highly inappropriate behavior for a servant.

Then again, nearly everything Merlin did was highly inappropriate behavior for a servant. Merlin never seemed to care much. It was one of the things Arthur liked about his friend.

Merlin continued to study Guinevere closely, a look of concentration on his face. Then, suddenly, his eyes widened. His mouth formed an O shape.

"Merlin. Is there a reason you are staring at _my_ _wife_?"

The servant ducked his head and rushed to finish his work. "No, sire," he said, his voice muffled slightly. Arthur couldn't pinpoint the emotions there. Only a minute later, Merlin was done with the bedding. He left the chambers, not saying another word.

Arthur whistled. "I believe that's the fastest he has ever changed the bedding. What was that all about?"

Guinevere shrugged. "I don't know."

"Why was he staring at you?"

"Arthur, I don't know."

The king sighed, tapping his fingers on the table. "We need to find him a wife," he announced suddenly.

His own wife didn't seem to agree with this idea. She rolled her eyes. "Leave Merlin's love life alone, Arthur. He'll find a wife when he's ready."

"What love life? He doesn't have one."

"That you know about."

Arthur stared at her. "Do you know something that I don't?"

She shook her head. "No. I'm simply saying that you don't know whether or not he has a love life. Just because he hasn't told you about one does not mean that it doesn't exist. He doesn't tell you everything."

Scowling, Arthur slumped back in his chair. He folded his arms over his chest, fully aware that he was pouting like a child. "I realize _that_." Merlin never told him _anything_ , even though Arthur told Merlin everything. "Merlin is a very secretive person, apparently. I just don't think that he gives himself enough time for a love life."

She arched an eyebrow in amusement. "As his employer, you do have some control over his spare time."

"I can't just give him time off. He knows me better than that. He would wonder why I was being so nice to him, since it's not how I usually treat him. I wish he would just tell me about his magic so he didn't feel the need to sneak off in order to do what he needs to. He's wearing himself out at this rate. I'm sure he's spending all of his spare time talking to other sorcerers."

Guinevere nodded in agreement. "I'm sure he is. He must be out at all hours of the night, searching. I can see the circles under his eyes every morning. Arthur, now is not the time for you to try to interfere with his love life. There is too much going on. I'm sure he would appreciate it if you didn't interfere at all. And you know that Merlin probably won't tell you about his magic. He's too stubborn. Perhaps you should just tell him that you already know."

The king didn't reply. He had informed her that he wanted Merlin to tell him, but he hadn't told her why. It was a silly reason, and he knew it, but he wanted Merlin to trust him enough to tell him his biggest secret. He wanted Merlin to want to tell him. He didn't want Merlin to fear him.

Guinevere studied his face knowingly. "He trusts you, Arthur. But he has spent his entire life hiding that part of himself from the rest of the world. He was born of magic, didn't he say? Perhaps he just doesn't know how to tell you. You might need to give him a small push to get him to tell you."

Arthur sighed. "What annoys me is that he's _admitted_ to being a sorcerer in the past. And I didn't believe him." He shook his head. He couldn't believe the truth had been right in front of him for so long. "I was so oblivious."

Guinevere smiled into her goblet of water. She didn't say anything, but Arthur took her smile as an agreement. He huffed. Even his own wife was teasing him.

* * *

Merlin whistled as he rode into the forest. He'd finished with his chores for Arthur as quickly as he could, and now he was on his way out of Camelot. It was only about mid-morning, so he was going to make good time. He wouldn't make it to the camp before nightfall, but he didn't plan on stopping before he got there.

He'd heard back from a druid sorceress named Treasa - from what he'd heard, she was a promising candidate for the job - confirming a meeting with him. But it was nearly a day's ride to the druid camp where Treasa lived, and he knew he would have to stay for a few days to get to know the woman. He hoped he wouldn't be gone for more than a week, but he wasn't sure.

Arthur probably wouldn't notice his absence until the third day, maybe the fourth. He just hoped the king didn't ask Gaius where he was. Gaius always seemed to say he was in the tavern. If Merlin had had more time to prepare for this journey of his, he would have asked Gwaine to cover for him. The knight didn't ask any prying questions, and he was a good friend to Merlin.

Merlin was enjoying the ride. He preferred the quiet, which was a little ironic considering he was usually the one doing most of the talking when he followed Arthur and the knights anywhere. Well, Gwaine actually did most of the talking. But Arthur usually only told Merlin to shut up. But when it was just himself, he was able to think better.

Maybe once a Court Sorcerer was appointed, Merlin would visit his mother in Ealdor. It had been far too long since he'd seen her. He missed her.

He sighed. He wouldn't be able to visit her anytime soon. It would take a while to get a Court Sorcerer settled into the role, and to get the kingdom comfortable with magic being legal again. And, of course, he had Morgana to worry about. She needed to be stopped. She hadn't launched any major attacks, but Merlin was sure it was only a matter of time. And, of course, there was Gwen's little secret. That was going to cause quite a lot of chaos around the castle.

No, he'd have to wait a while to visit his mother.

He was perhaps an hour away from the druid camp when it started to get dark, but he was still able to see where he was going, with a little help from his magic.

If he had been more focused on his surroundings, he might have realized that someone was following him. He didn't realize it until he was thrown off his horse by an invisible force.

Magic.

He collided with a tree, hitting the back of his head hard. He blinked, his vision blurry. He could feel his consciousness begin to fade. This wasn't good. He couldn't concentrate enough to say a spell.

Just before he passed out, he saw a figure walking toward him, smirking. "Hello, Merlin."

 _Not again_ , was his last thought before he went unconscious.

* * *

 **Yes, a cliffhanger. But, to be honest, I'm usually pretty good at updating quickly, so hopefully it won't take me long to get the next chapter up. Hopefully.**


	9. Eight: Priority

**Oh my goodness! I had some very lengthy and lovely reviews for the last chapter! Thanks so much. I hope you all keep enjoying it.**

* * *

EIGHT: PRIORITY (316 days)

Arthur paced his chambers. He'd found himself by the window several times, just to see if his raven-haired friend had suddenly returned. It was late in the afternoon, just before the evening meal, and still no sign of Merlin.

"Arthur," Guinevere said, as she entered the room. "Stop pacing."

"It's been three days. Where is he?"

"I'm sure he's just speaking with some of the druids. Gaius didn't seem worried when you spoke with him yesterday, did he?"

Arthur shook his head, thinking back to his conversation with Gaius. He'd been worried because it was unlike Merlin to miss two consecutive days of work. The man may be late nearly every day, but he rarely missed an entire day of work. And he only missed more than one day in a row when something was wrong.

The only person who'd seen him after he'd changed Arthur's bedding was a stableboy. The young boy had seen Merlin ride out of Camelot mid-morning two days prior to Arthur's conversation with Gaius. He couldn't tell Arthur what direction the manservant had ridden.

Arthur had gone to Gaius, hoping the old physician might have some answers.

His answer?

"He's at the tav- He's gathering herbs for me, sire. Very rare herbs."

Arthur had narrowed his eyes. Gaius had very nearly said "tavern." He hadn't argued with the old man, though. He had realized, in that moment, that when Gaius said Merlin was in the tavern, his manservant was actually using magic to protect Camelot. For years, he'd thought his servant was a drunk. And really, he'd been risking his life for the kingdom.

Now he looked back at his wife. "What if something has happened to the idiot?"

"He's the most powerful sorcerer to walk the earth. I am sure he can protect himself."

"He's still an idiot," Arthur muttered, almost reflexively.

Guinevere gave him a look. "Arthur."

"Well, he is."

She approached him, wrapping her arms around his waist. She rested her cheek on his chest. "I am sure that you're worrying over nothing. Maybe he just has to travel farther this time."

He sighed. She had a valid point, of course. "I have a bad feeling, Guinevere. I can't explain it, but something is not right."

Before his wife could respond, there was a knock on the door. Arthur knew it wasn't Merlin, since the insufferable man didn't seem to know _how_ to knock.

"Enter," the queen called.

Leon entered the chambers, bowing slightly. "Sire, a woman has arrived in Camelot, and she is requesting a private audience with Your Majesties."

The king frowned at that. "Private?" People were very rarely granted private audiences with the king and queen, and even more rarely at this late hour. Most audiences were held during the morning. "Who is she?"

"She would only say that her name is Treasa. She claims to have important information regarding…Emrys."

Arthur's eyes widened. How could this woman know anything about Emrys? "She'll have her private audience."

* * *

Merlin groaned, trying to get more comfortable on the stone floor. Nearly every inch of his body was aching. There was dried blood on the back of his head, but at least his headache was mostly gone. He knew that no position was going to be comfortable, but that didn't stop him from trying to find one.

He closed his eyes, concentrating. He could sense his magic, barely, but he couldn't access it. Nothing had changed since he'd woken up in this dank cell three days earlier.

Somehow, the cell had a barrier that blocked all magic. He wasn't sure if it was limited to just the cell itself, or the entire building. Either way, he was entirely powerless in here. He couldn't even move the tray that his daily meal had been brought on - by a large man who refused to say anything to Merlin.

He couldn't fathom why she would put such a barrier in place - or how, considering the amount of dark magic such a spell would require. As far as he knew, Morgana had no knowledge of his magic or the fact that he was Emrys.

He certainly hoped she had no knowledge of his magic or the fact that he was Emrys.

But why else would she abduct him and throw him into a cell where he couldn't use his magic?

He hadn't seen the witch since she'd attacked him in the forest. He was left to wonder what her plan was this time around. He could only assume it would involve Arthur's death, like all of her other plans.

Without his magic, he didn't have a chance of escaping from her. He was going to die in this cell, at the hands of Morgana. He had never felt so hopeless before.

* * *

Guinevere and Arthur sat in the simple thrones. They were in the smaller, informal throne room. Arthur didn't plan on having anyone else present at this meeting. If she had information about Emrys, it would be better if only the three of them were there during this conversation.

Two guards entered, a middle-aged woman walking freely between them. She wore simple clothes, and kept her dark blonde hair pulled away from her face with a simple band. Her green eyes were kind and full of intelligence.

If she had information about "Emrys," he could only assume she was a druid, since that's who Merlin had been speaking to lately.

"Leave us," Arthur commanded.

His guards looked startled. "Sire -"

"I am certain that she will do us no harm. Leave, please."

Reluctantly, the guards bowed and did as they were told.

Arthur looked down at the woman. His heart was hammering in his chest. He didn't like the worry he saw on her face. "You must be Treasa." When she nodded, he continued, "You have information about Emrys?"

The woman nodded. "I was expecting him to arrive at my home three nights ago." So that at least explained where Merlin had intended to go. Guinevere had been right, he had been on his way to speak to some of the druids. "I didn't worry when he didn't arrive that night - it is nearly a day's ride from Camelot. I assumed he had simply been delayed. And then a day passed, and no Emrys. And another day. Last night, I had a vision. I left my camp as soon as it was light enough. I rode directly here."

"Vision?" Arthur asked sharply. Had something happened to his friend? What sort of vision could make her feel the need to rush to Camelot?

She inclined her head. "I am a druid seer, Your Majesty."

"Why are you telling me this?" he asked. He was glad she was, of course. But only those on his council had been told of Emrys. It was a little worrisome that someone not on his council would know that he had a connection to Emrys. "I'm the king of Camelot. Magic is illegal in my kingdom."

Her mouth twisted into a wry smile. "That will change soon. I know what you are trying to do, King Arthur. I've seen that as well. It is the reason Emrys was coming to meet me." Arthur sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. He wasn't sure how he felt about the fact that she knew so much. "I also came to you because he is your best friend."

That made Arthur stiffen in surprise. Beside him, Guinevere gasped. They both stared at Treasa. "My people call him Emrys. The name you know him as is Merlin. But you already knew Emrys's true identity, didn't you?" The woman's eyes were glittering with mirth by this point.

Arthur had to remind himself not to gape. He was especially glad that he'd sent the guards out of the room earlier. "Why Emrys? What does the name mean?" He shook his head. That wasn't important at the moment. "Never mind. What did you see in your vision?"

Treasa's good humor vanished in an instant. She sighed heavily. "He has been captured by Morgana. I do not know where she has taken him."

"Morgana?" She'd managed to get a hold of Merlin a second time? He cursed and stood up. He began pacing in front of his throne. "We have to rescue him. Do you know how we can find him?"

* * *

Arthur entered the small room, relieved to see that the others were already there. Leon, Percival, Gwaine, Elyan, and Mordred stood against the shelves on the wall. They all looked expectantly at Arthur as he came in.

Gwaine was the first to speak. "Why did you ask us to meet you in a linen closet?" He was simply voicing what they were all thinking.

"Because I need to talk to you about a very delicate matter, without the chance of being overheard. Morgana has captured Emrys."

Silence followed this statement. Leon, Elyan, and Percival looked confused. Mordred looked fearful. And Gwaine looked…angry.

"Emrys? This is about a _sorcerer_?"

Arthur was a little surprised at this reaction. So far, Gwaine had been fairly supportive of Arthur's plans to make magic legal in Camelot once again. "Gwaine, he's very important to what I'm trying to do. Camelot _needs_ him, powers and all."

"Don't get me wrong. I agree with you bringing magic back to the kingdom. But this Emrys shouldn't be our priority right now. When was the last time any of us saw Merlin? I'm worried about him. Nobody seems to know where he is. And I don't believe Gaius when he says he's out collecting rare herbs."

"Gwaine -"

"No, _princess_. If you want to rescue some sorcerer none of us know, fine. I'm going to go find my friend."

Arthur sighed. He had wanted to let Merlin tell their friends his secret, but that plan changed as soon as Morgana abducted Merlin. If he wanted their help - and he was fairly certain he would need it - he would have to tell him the truth. "Merlin _is_ Emrys," he said.

Gwaine's mouth opened in surprise. Leon, Elyan, and Percival shared a startled look. Mordred didn't seem surprised, though. Did he already know Merlin's secret? How? Arthur would have to worry about that later, though.

"Merlin is Emrys, and Morgana has captured him."

Several minutes of silence passed, as the men digested this new information. Then Gwaine straightened, his face determined. "Let's go get our boy."

They all nodded in agreement. And so Arthur quickly explained his meeting with Treasa. "Her daughter, Kerenza, can do a tracking spell, using something of Merlin's. I have one of his neckerchiefs. They're going to meet us in the forest at first light. Treasa says that she and Kerenza will help us rescue him. Apparently, Merlin is a very important person to the druids. Don't say a word of this to anyone. Just pack your things and be ready first thing in the morning."

They agreed. Arthur was glad that none of them decided to point out just how impossible this was going to be.

* * *

 **Kerenza is...She wasn't supposed to come into the story yet. She was a character that I intended to bring in later, and so I haven't really sat down and figured her out just yet. But she kind of just pushed herself into this chapter (just wait until you see her in the next chapter - so far you only know her name). I have a feeling she's going to be an interesting character. I wasn't really intending to make her a big part of it, so we'll just have to see what happens with her. She's already taken me by surprise, so she's bound to do it again.**


	10. Nine: Kerenza

**Yes, Merlin being helpless is** **…** **highly unlikely. And I don't blame any of you for not buying it. Merlin is powerful, but I don't think he's infallible. Even his power has limits. And while he's said to be the most powerful sorcerer to walk the earth, he's not necessarily the most powerful being to walk the earth. There are forces greater than Merlin Emrys. You won't find out just yet what those forces might be, but let's just say that Morgana isn't working alone. Thanks for the reviews, though! I probably should have explained that a little better in the last chapter. Just...bear with me, please. Hopefully it will all make sense.**

 **Eventually.**

 **And yay, it's Kerenza time! I must warn you that I have absolutely no control over this character. She does what she wants.**

* * *

NINE: KERENZA (315 days)

Arthur, Leon, Elyan, Gwaine, Percival, and Mordred rode into the forest just after sunrise. Arthur frowned when he saw Treasa. The woman was holding the reigns of two horses, but she was otherwise alone.

The king pulled his horse to a stop in front of the woman. "Where is your daughter?" he asked, struggling to remain calm. This woman's daughter was perhaps his only chance of finding his friend within a reasonable amount of time. Treasa claimed she was more skilled at tracking spells than any other local druid. And Arthur wouldn't know who else to ask.

Something dropped from a nearby tree, landing gracefully in front of Arthur. The sudden movement made his horse whinny in nervousness. Several swords came free of their sheaths as the knights edged closer to their king, ready to defend him with their lives. Arthur knew he didn't deserve their loyalty.

"Kerenza," Treasa said, her tone one of rebuke and irritation.

Arthur studied the girl standing before him, aware that she was doing the same to him. She had a braid of strawberry-blonde hair that hung to her waist. Her green eyes were just like her mother's. She had skin even paler than Merlin's, which was quite a remarkable feat.

If it wasn't for her _very_ feminine figure - which he was sure Gwaine was ogling - Arthur would have assumed she was a boy as she wore a long green tunic over brown leggings. Her feet were bare. She was beautiful enough to be a court lady - such beauty seemed at odds with the forest around them.

She didn't seem very impressed with her evaluation of him. "This is the Once and Future King?" she asked doubtfully. Arthur wasn't sure why she was referring to him as the Once and Future King. What did that mean? "I thought he'd be more…Well, more."

"Kerenza!"

The girl looked at her mother, and the two of them stared at each other as though carrying on an entire silent conversation.

Arthur looked back at his knights, not quite sure what to make of this wild girl. Gwaine, as he'd expected, was smirking and unabashedly staring at the girl's ample bosom. Mordred looked amused. Leon, Elyan, and Percival seemed as bewildered as the king felt.

After a few minutes, Kerenza gave an annoyed huff. "All right, all right, Ma." She turned to Arthur and bowed deeply. "I apologize for my rude and insensitive behavior, sire," she said in a monotone. He had a feeling that she wasn't sorry at all.

Hmm. She reminded him a bit of a certain manservant he knew.

"No harm done. You must be Kerenza."

She rolled her eyes. "What gave it away, sire?" she asked sarcastically. She looked almost disgusted. "You're a bit of an idiot, aren't you?"

Arthur gaped. He had gotten used to Merlin calling him all sorts of unflattering names - prat, dollophead, cabbagehead, etc. - but a druid girl? He hadn't been expecting that.

Treasa looked horrified, her face scarlet. She didn't say anything else, but Kerenza sighed and rolled her eyes again. "I'm sorry," she snapped. Then she turned serious. She gazed somberly at the king. "I will do everything in my power to bring Emrys home safely, King Arthur. He is a beacon of hope to my people. Did you bring an item of his?"

Arthur nodded, tongue-tied. She was suddenly quite serious and almost…regal. It was unnerving. He couldn't keep up with her moods. He pulled Merlin's blue neckerchief from his saddlebag and handed it down to her.

She frowned at it, arching a single eyebrow. "Emrys wears a…headscarf?"

The king chuckled. He thought it would be better if he didn't mention the times he'd caught Merlin stealing dresses. "He wears them around his neck."

Kerenza snorted.

Gwaine chuckled. "He has an appalling sense of style." The druid girl gave Gwaine a flirty smile at that. "To be fair, though, he does look rather good in them."

"Hmm." She held the fabric in both of her hands. She whispered words in a strange language, and her green eyes became golden. Arthur had to resist the urge to recoil from her. He knew that magic wasn't evil, but some habits were hard to break.

She looked around, then she pointed. "That way." She mounted one of the horses near her mother, and began riding away. She tied the neckerchief around her own neck, seemingly without thinking about it. Arthur thought it suited her.

The rest of them followed, falling into a line. Mordred ended up in the front, beside Kerenza - they seemed very comfortable talking to each other. Percival and Leon fell back, covering the rear, with Elyan and Gwaine just in front of them. Treasa rode alongside Arthur.

Her cheeks and the tips of her ears were still flushed in embarrassment. "I apologize for my daughter's behavior. She can be quite civilized when she chooses to be. She just rarely chooses to be."

"As I said before, no harm done. How old is she?"

"Twenty-two years."

He had thought she was a little younger than that. She looked closer to nineteen or twenty years. "And how long has she been studying magic?" When she gave him a strange look, he just shrugged. "I've been finding myself rather curious about the study of magic lately."

She nodded. "Kerenza was four when we discovered that she had a talent for harnessing the magic in the world around her. She began training immediately, of course."

"She must be powerful," Arthur said thoughtfully, "To have been training since such a young age." Had Merlin been thinking of Kerenza as a possible Court Sorcerer? Was that why he'd been on his way to meet with Treasa?

Treasa sighed, shaking her head. "She is very skilled, but she is far too impulsive. She would make a terrible Court Sorcerer."

Arthur looked over sharply. "How did you -"

"Lucky guess." Somehow, he doubted it was all luck. And the wink that she sent him confirmed that. "I believe Emrys was coming to see if I would be a good fit for the position. I am a skilled sorceress, in my own right, though my daughter has long surpassed me. But Emrys is the one who needs to be Court Sorcerer. He has been wasting his time, trying to find another to take the role that rightfully belongs to him."

Arthur sighed. "I know. He's a stubborn man, Treasa." He glanced in her direction, surprised at her calm demeanor. "How are you able to speak about magic so freely with me? I followed my father's rulings for several years. I...persecuted sorcerers. My own best friend has been too afraid to be open with me about his magic."

"I have seen the future you will bring about, King Arthur. I have nothing to fear from you."

"Does Kerenza have your gift of seeing the future?"

"No."

They were quiet then. Arthur looked toward the front of the line, where Kerenza and Mordred were having an animated discussion about something. The girl was still wearing the neckerchief. He wondered if she had to keep contact with it for the spell to work.

She was certainly a wild one.

"Thank you," Arthur said. "For helping us."

Treasa smiled warmly at him. "You are very welcome."

* * *

Merlin stared at the bars of his cell. He couldn't figure out how Morgana had managed to block his magic. _His_ magic! He knew that he wasn't the most powerful _being_ to ever live - human sorcerer, yes. Living being, no. But he was still incredibly powerful.

And Morgana certainly wasn't powerful enough to cast a spell like that. Merlin had never even heard of a spell like that.

So how had Morgana heard of it? And how had she put it in place? Just who - or what - was the witch consorting with in order to have access to spells of such dark magic? And why? He was fairly certain that if she knew who he was, he'd be dead. Or, at the very least, he'd be on his way to death, probably quite painfully.

At this rate, he'd probably be dead anyway. The fact that there was something powerful enough to block _his_ magic was a scary thought. He knew for a fact that it wasn't Morgana who had cast that spell. She wasn't strong enough to block his magic. But apparently, there was something that was strong enough. He wasn't exactly eager to find out what that something was.

He looked up when he heard heels clicking on the stone floor. He was surprised to see Morgana, carrying a tray with the usual daily meal: a lumpy roll, a bowl of watery broth, and a goblet of water.

He narrowed his eyes. "What do you want?"

She slid the tray under the cell door, sloshing the precious water and soup. "Arthur and several of his knights rode out of Camelot this morning," she told him smugly. "I think they plan on rescuing their little lost puppy."

He sighed. He was so tired of her games. She was just mocking him now. "And then what, Morgana? You'll enchant me again so I'll try to kill my king? That didn't exactly work for you last time, did it?"

She scowled, clenching her fists tightly. "Only because of Emrys. While Emrys is still alive, nothing I do will succeed. The Cailleach was right; he is my destiny and my doom. I cannot get what I want until he is gone."

Merlin's heart was beating wildly in his chest. "Emrys?" he asked, feigning ignorance.

Morgana sneered. "I'm not surprised that Gaius never did tell you about him. He's very talented at keeping important information to himself."

The warlock relaxed slightly. She obviously didn't know that he was Emrys. And what was that about him being her destiny and her doom? What did that mean? "Who is Emrys?"

"A thorn in my side." She began pacing. She continued to speak, but it was like she'd forgotten that he was even there. "I can't take the throne until Arthur is dead. I can't kill Arthur until Emrys is dead. I can't kill Emrys while he has his magic."

"What does that have to do with me and Arthur?"

"For some reason, Arthur considers you a friend."

Merlin nearly snorted at that. He considered Arthur his friend, of course, but he doubted the feeling was mutual.

"He'll come in to rescue _you_ , and Emrys is sure to follow _him_." She smiled wickedly. Merlin suppressed a shudder. If she ever did find out his true identity, she would torture him. "As soon as he steps foot into this building, he won't be able to use his magic. Without his magic, he's nothing but a doddery old man. I can easily kill him, without my own magic, and then I can kill Arthur. And I'll let you watch everything. You can watch me take everything that you care about, just as I lost everything I care about."

Merlin shook his head. "Morgana, you're insane. You can put an end to all of this. Arthur is a good ki-"

"That throne belongs to me! I was the firstborn. If I were on that throne, magic would be legal again. My people wouldn't be hunted down and murdered. Innocent children wouldn't be killed."

He looked at her. Could she really be so blind to her own faults? "Except that you've already killed innocent people - men, women, children - in this pointless war of yours. You haven't given Arthur a chance to prove that he's not his father. In fact, all you've done is proven that you are just as wicked and unjust as Uther was."

Angry, Morgana stormed away.

* * *

 **No, seriously, guys. I have absolutely no control over Kerenza. I've never had a character be such a wild card before, and have such control over themselves. I have a plan for her, but at this point, I have no idea if she'll stick to the plan or not. I feel like I have no say in what my own original character does. I mean, she was originally supposed to be a princess of some random kingdom, only to show up for a chapter or two. And now...She's a barefoot, sassy, wild druid girl. What? I don't even know. Still, hope you guys are enjoying her so far because I have a feeling she's not going anywhere.**


	11. Ten: Sacrifice

**The italicized parts later are a flashback, fyi. Enjoy!**

* * *

TEN: SACRIFICE (315 days)

Kerenza pulled her horse to a stop, causing the rest of the group to halt as well. She fingered the neckerchief she still wore.

Arthur, worried, trotted his horse toward her. "Have you lost the trail?"

She shook her head. "No, but it's getting dark. We are getting close, though."

"Well, then we should keep going. We have about another hour before it gets too dark to ride."

Kerenza folded her arms. "In which case, it would also be too dark to make camp. King Arthur, we also need to rest. This is Morgana. We can't go in exhausted."

Arthur sighed, running his hand through his hair. He knew she was right, of course. If they waited much longer to make camp, they wouldn't be able to see what they were doing. They couldn't travel through the night, or they'd risk being too tired to do Merlin any good.

He sighed. He hated stopping, but she was right. He was just anxious to get to his best friend. "Make camp," he instructed.

Kerenza smirked. "So you're not as much of an idiot as you look."

After all of his years hearing insults like that from Merlin, Arthur knew that pointing out to her that she couldn't insult the king like that would be impossible.

Instead, he helped his knights prepare the camp. The routine seemed strange, empty, without Merlin. The servant would normally be chattering up a storm, poking fun at each of them in turn.

Arthur missed his incessant babbling.

Elyan quickly got a fire started, and the knights settled on the ground around it. Treasa and Kerenza sat a few feet away, a ball of fire floating between them. They politely declined when Arthur invited them to join himself and his friends closer to the fire.

Mordred began cooking a pot of stew, using some of the provisions the head cook had sent with them. He had offered when they all seemed confused about who should cook - that was normally what Merlin did on their various expeditions.

Gwaine tossed a small handful of leaves into the fire. "Are we going to talk about the fact that our friend is a sorcerer?"

They had mostly been avoiding the topic since Arthur revealed the truth.

Percival shrugged. "What is there to talk about? He's Merlin, and he's a sorcerer."

"We're all idiots," Gwaine said. "None of us knew. We were so…blind. How could we have been so blind? Merlin is a terrible liar."

Mordred ducked his head, staring at the pot. Arthur was even more sure that the young knight had already known about Merlin's magic.

"Apparently not all the time," Elyan muttered.

Leon sighed. "It was right in front of us the entire time. How many times have we all been knocked unconscious in the middle of a fight, only to wake and find Merlin already awake and unscathed, claiming that we had defeated the enemy? How many times have our enemies tripped over their own feet? I think…I think we all suspected. We just chose to ignore the signs because we didn't want to know the truth."

Gwaine studied the king. "Arthur's probably known for years."

Arthur shook his head, grimacing. He really was an idiot. "If I had, magic would have been made legal again a long time ago. I learned the truth after I visited the Disir."

"Merlin told you," the knight assumed.

Arthur scratched the back of his head. "Well…no. He still doesn't know that I know." At the curious looks of his friends, Arthur explained how he had come to realize just who Emrys was.

Elyan shook his head. "The cranky old man was _Merlin_?"

Percival chuckled. "I can't believe I didn't realize it sooner."

They fell quiet for several minutes. Arthur could hear the women speaking in soft tones. He couldn't quite make out what they were saying, but he caught the main point of their conversation. Treasa seemed to be lecturing her daughter on her latest love interest.

"You want Merlin to be Court Sorcerer," Leon stated suddenly. He wasn't asking a question, simply stating a fact.

Arthur responded anyway. He nodded once. "There's no one I'd trust more. He's being stubborn, though. He refuses." Arthur shrugged. He'd come to a decision earlier that afternoon. "Well, I've decided that I'm not giving him a choice in the matter. As soon as the council approves a Court Sorcerer, I'm appointing Merlin."

Gwaine leaned back on his elbows, smirking widely. "Oh, I want to be there for _that_ argument."

Arthur just rolled his eyes. "Merlin can try to weasel out of it all he wants, it won't make a bit of difference. The man is going to be my Court Sorcerer, whether he wants to be or not."

"But, sire," Gwaine began, his smirk even wider, "then who would you order around all day?"

The king picked up a small rock from the ground and threw it at Gwaine. It bounced harmlessly off the knight's armor. "I suppose I'll just have to make do with you, won't I, _Sir_ _Gwaine_?"

Leon sighed. "How are we going to get Merlin away from Morgana? She's a powerful sorceress."

Elyan looked thoughtful. "And Merlin's a powerful sorcerer. Couldn't he use his own magic to escape?"

The king shrugged. "I got the sense that it's extremely important for Morgana to never discover his identity. He probably won't use it in front of her."

"Why would she take him, if she doesn't know that he's Emrys?" Mordred asked.

"It's probably a trap for me," Arthur admitted. "Everyone in the kingdom knows that we're friends. Of course she would take him to lure me into a trap. She wants me dead so she can be queen of Camelot."

"Do we have a plan?" Leon wanted to know. "How are we going to get close enough to Morgana's lair to rescue Merlin?"

"I don't know. Perhaps Treasa will have an idea. She is the one who had the vision." Arthur stood, moving toward the two women.

* * *

Morgana paced her bedchamber, feeling restless. Those fools could arrive any time now. She was outnumbered, but she was counting on them being too frightened of her magic to attack her directly. All she needed was Emrys. Once he showed himself and fell into her trap, she could finish him and release Scathach's spell.

She didn't like being separated from her own magic, but it was necessary. She needed Emrys dead, and this was the only way to ensure his death.

Scathach's spell would prevent any and all magic from being performed within the walls of Morgana's crumbling abode. Morgana was currently unable to light so much as a candle with her own magic. She could sense it, but she couldn't manipulate it to her will.

Her lack of power was more strange than worrisome. She was a skilled swordswoman. She would have no trouble killing one defenseless old man.

It would all be worth it.

Every sacrifice she made would be worth it.

* * *

 _Morgana knelt on the cool floor, her head bowed before the Dark Goddess. "Why do you seek me out?"_

 _The witch did not lift her head. "I require assistance that only a goddess can provide."_

" _Why have you not sought the aid of the Triple Goddess, High Priestess?"_

 _Morgana's heart skipped a beat. She did not want to lie to this goddess. So she gave only one of her reasons. "You are the goddess of magic. The problem I face involves magic. Who would I turn to but the goddess of magic?"_

 _"The Triple Goddess no longer hears your cries, does she, Morgana Pendragon?"_

 _Morgana's head dropped lower. "No," she admitted. Despite being the last High Priestess of the Old Religion, it seemed that the Triple Goddess was ignoring Morgana._

" _And so you come to me. Not even I can undermine the will of the Triple Goddess."_

" _The will of the Triple Goddess is for the return of magic to Camelot. If I were queen, I would make this happen."_

 _Morgana looked at the goddess before her. Scathach's expression was unreadable, giving nothing away. "Perhaps you are not meant to do so."_

 _The witch frowned. "Who else is there to do it? I am the last true follower of the Old Religion. I will bring magic back, but I must be queen in order to do so. And upon its return, Shadowy One, you will once again be worshiped and revered as you should be."_

" _Such a silver tongue you have in your pretty mouth. I am but one of the lesser goddesses of magic and prophecies. What would you have me do to get you crowned as queen?"_

" _I cannot become queen until Emrys is dead."_

" _Ah, Emrys, your destiny and your doom." Morgana's jaw clenched. She didn't need the reminder. "Why should I help you kill such a powerful sorcerer?"_

" _Surely you wish to see magic free in this kingdom once more. In return for your help, I will give you anything you ask of me."_

" _Anything?" For the first time, Morgana heard a trace of emotion in the goddess's voice, a trace of smugness. She still couldn't read her expression. The witch nodded. She would make any sacrifices necessary to rid herself of Emrys once and for all._

 _The goddess remained silent for several minutes, clearly thinking. Then, quietly, she said, "Aithusa."_

 _Morgana blanched. Her precious dragon? "Why -"_

" _I am a goddess of magic. Dragons are powerful creatures of magic. It's been many years since I've had the company of a dragon. Kilgharrah is insufferable, and nearly dead. But Aithusa is young."_

 _Morgana had never heard of Kilgharrah._

 _But she couldn't bargain Aithusa. She had been through far too much with the white dragon. Aithusa was her only comfort in this world. "I_ _…_ _I can't."_

 _Scathach shrugged as a black mist began enveloping her form._

" _Wait!" Morgana cried. The mist disappeared. The witch took a deep breath. Her next words were a whisper, and nearly shattered her already broken heart. "You may take Aithusa with you."_

 _The goddess nodded, looking pleased. "In exchange, I will cast a spell that will render even magic itself useless. The rest will be up to you, Morgana Pendragon."_

* * *

Morgana missed Aithusa's presence. When she caught Emrys, she was going to enjoy making him suffer.

* * *

 **Celtic mythology is a bit confusing. So, apparently, there are several gods and goddesses for one thing. I think there were at least three other deities of magic. Scathach is a Celtic (I believe Irish) goddess of healing, magic, fighting arts, and prophecy (according to my very brief internet perusal, which I fully admit is not the most accurate way to research something). I took a few liberties with her, like the show has done with most of its mythology and legends. For this fic, she's really just a goddess of magic and prophecy. I hope nobody is offended by any of it. Since magic is literally part of her domain, I figure she can control magic itself (aka Merlin).**

 **Oh, and I'm not quite sure how the Old Religion actually functions, but I imagine that Morgana would worship the Triple Goddess, as she seems to be the big deity in this faith. And I kind of feel like Morgana might have gotten out of favor with her. I don't know. If Arthur is destined to be this great king, and Merlin is destined to bring magic back with Arthur, then I can't see the Triple Goddess being all that thrilled with Morgana constantly trying to mess up those destinies. That's just my take on it.**


	12. Eleven: Join Me

ELEVEN: JOIN ME (314 days)

Arthur pushed his horse forward, until he was riding beside Kerenza. Mordred, who had been trotting next to her, nodded to the king and fell back in the line.

Before he could say anything, the druid girl asked, "Why are you doing this?"

He frowned at her. "What do you mean?"

She looked genuinely confused. "Why are you risking your life for Emrys? He's your servant, and rumor has it that you don't treat him very well."

"I treat him just fine!" Arthur objected. Then he sighed, realizing exactly what he'd said. "All right. I don't treat him very well. I don't do it out of malice, and I think that Merlin realizes that. I know it's no excuse, but I don't generally intend to treat him the way that I do. I know that I take him for granted. In a lot of ways, he keeps me sane. I'm the king. I have to be very careful about what I say and what I do. But with Merlin...I take my frustrations out on him. And I know that he can take it. That doesn't necessarily mean that I should. I'm trying to change that, I'm trying to be more aware of how I treat him. Merlin is my best friend. He has been faithfully by my side for years, and I've never properly thanked him. Of course I'll do whatever I can to save him."

He studied her. "Why are _you_ doing this? You don't know Merlin. You've never met him before. Why are you risking _your_ life for him?"

She got an almost dreamy look on her face. "Every druid knows Emrys. We grow up hearing the legend of the great sorcerer who is destined to help bring magic back to Camelot. My mother would tell me stories at night, of the wise Emrys and the Once and Future King, who would work together to unite the land of Albion in peace. Some destinies have been prophesied of many years ago, long before either of you were actually born."

Arthur resisted the urge to mock Merlin, barely. Merlin could be wise, but only very rare occasions. Arthur hated to admit it. And he certainly didn't want to think about having his life prophesied about. "You called me the Once and Future King again. Why? What does it mean?"

Kerenza shrugged. "I'm not entirely sure," she said, though Arthur had a feeling that she knew more than she was willing to tell him. "That's just what you are called in the prophecies."

"Why do the druids call Merlin Emrys?"

She grinned mischievously. "That is a secret known only to the druids."

He doubted it would do him any good to try to get more information out of her on the subject. He would have to get Merlin to tell him. "Can you…sense how close we are?"

She cocked her head to the side, her brow furrowed in concentration. "An hour, perhaps. Maybe a little longer."

"Are you and your mother comfortable with the plan? You'll only have Sir Mordred and Sir Percival to help." They had decided that Treasa, Kerenza, Mordred, and Percival would distract Morgana while Arthur and Gwaine searched for Merlin. Elyan and Leon would stay close to Arthur and Gwaine, in case they ran into any hidden traps.

Kerenza rolled her eyes. "We know what we're doing, King Arthur," she told him coldly.

Arthur hadn't intended to offend her. "I know that you are both very skilled in magic. But Morgana has shown that she has no qualms about employing dark magic. She also has no qualms about killing."

"We will be fine."

Arthur nodded. He wasn't entirely convinced, but he was glad that she was so confident in her and her mother's abilities. He would just have to trust her. And he found that it was easier to do than he would have thought. He could trust her in this. She had been surrounded by magic her entire life. She understood it. He didn't. Not yet. Someday, he hoped to get to a point where he had a better understanding of sorcery.

He glanced over at her, an idea in his mind. He'd been mulling it over most of the night, when he couldn't sleep. "How skilled are you at healing magic? And healing in general?" He'd seen her perform a simple healing spell on a cut one of the horses had gotten from a wayward tree branch.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm decent. Most druids know at least the basics of the healing arts, both magical and not. Why do you want to know?" she asked suspiciously.

Arthur scratched the back of his head. "Merlin has been acting as an unofficial apprentice to my Court Physician. But once he becomes Court Sorcerer, he won't have time to help Gaius. And Gaius is getting on in years. He needs an apprentice who can take over once he's…gone."

The king didn't like thinking about Gaius dying. The old man had been a large part of his life since the day he was born. But he knew he had to be realistic. Gaius was going to die, sooner rather than later, and he would need a new Court Physician.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Perhaps you would like to train to be my Court Physician." He wasn't entirely sure why he was offering the position to her. He almost regretted the words as soon as he said them, except...he felt that it was the right thing to do.

She stared at him. "You shouldn't try to be funny, sire."

"I'm serious. I think you would make a good physician."

She snorted, shaking her head. "I'm too impulsive."

Arthur shrugged. "Healing requires instinctive responses, does it not? A good healer is someone who can make decisions in an instant, who knows to rely on his or her instincts in emergency situations. Being impulsive may be beneficial for you."

"You're really serious?"

He nodded.

"Me? A member of your court? I'm a druid, sire."

"Yes, I'm aware of that. There is nothing wrong with having a druid in my court." His council may not agree with that statement, but he didn't really care anymore. He knew that he had the support of the majority of the council. As soon as they returned, he planned to appoint Merlin as Court Sorcerer and lift the ban on magic. And if Kerenza agreed, he would have a druid train as the next Court Physician. There were some who would object, but it would be very few. He felt that he had the support of enough of them to be able to move forward with his plans.

Kerenza glanced briefly behind her, then she just started laughing. "No," she said between guffaws. She laughed even harder, shaking her head.

* * *

Morgana stood at the window, looking down into the trees surrounding her home. She could barely make out the four riders - they weren't exactly being subtle in their approach. There was the large knight, with his sleeveless chainmail. What was the point of that? There were two women, obviously druids. Why was Arthur's group traveling with druids? Unless they joined the group after it already split up and Arthur didn't know about them. Her eyes narrowed when she saw Mordred, wearing the red cape of a knight of Camelot.

She couldn't understand how Mordred could serve _Arthur_.

She wasn't surprised to see only one part of the group riding obviously toward her home. She was certain the rest of them planned to sneak through the manor in the hopes of finding and rescuing Merlin.

She didn't care if they rescued the servant or not, so long as she got Emrys. He was the reason behind this elaborate plan.

She knew Arthur wouldn't know anything about Emrys - if he did, she was sure he would have ordered a manhunt for the sorcerer - but Mordred might have some information. She had always suspected that Mordred knew something about the mysterious Emrys.

* * *

Kerenza frowned as they neared the crumbling manor. She could sense Emrys inside, but that wasn't all that she could sense. "Can you feel that?" she asked her companions.

Mordred nodded once, looking worried.

Her mother chewed her lip. "Dark magic. The entire manor is under a very powerful spell."

"I think it's best if we stay out of the manor," Kerenza said. The rest of them agreed.

"Now we just need to decide how to lure…Morgana…out…" Treasa trailed off as Morgana herself walked out of the manor. She leaned against the main door, folding her arms over her chest. She was looking only at Mordred.

"You shouldn't be here, Mordred. You shouldn't be helping Arthur. My argument's not with you. How can it be? We're of a kind."

Kerenza glanced at Mordred. She had known, of course, that he was a druid as soon as she'd seen him. But none of his fellow knights knew.

He didn't seem too worried about the fact that Percival was there, though.

 _How does Morgana know you?_ Kerenza asked the druid knight. She made sure to project her mental voice only to him. Somehow, Morgana knew not only his name, but that he had magic. At least, that was the way Kerenza interpreted what the witch had said.

Mordred didn't reply.

"Join me, Mordred," Morgana said.

Kerenza saw his eyes narrow a fraction. "Never."

The witch sneered, pushing away from the building. She took a single step toward them. "You wear the uniform well, but we both know what lies beneath. Do you think Arthur would tolerate you for one minute if he knew the truth? One of his knights, a sorcerer."

To his credit, Percival didn't look too surprised. He simply chuckled and shook his head.

Kerenza was struggling not to laugh. _Like he doesn't tolerate his own servant? If he can accept his servant being a sorcerer, then I'm certain he can accept one of his knights being a sorcerer._

Mordred grinned slightly in response. "We will be accepted," he told the witch, "sooner than you think."

Morgana frowned. Kerenza hoped she didn't ask for clarification. They couldn't go around revealing the king's plans. Not yet. She was fairly certain it would cause chaos if the entire kingdom knew what the king planned. And Morgana was so far gone. Kerenza doubted there was any way to make her see reason, to make her understand that King Arthur was going to bring magic back. Morgana had lost herself to her hatred long ago. "Where's Emrys?" the witch asked instead.

"Emrys?" Mordred asked, frowning in confusion. Kerenza made sure to keep her own expression blank. The fact that Morgana didn't seem to know where Emrys was was a very good thing. She didn't know who he was, obviously.

"You pretend you do not know of whom I speak?"

"It is a name I've only heard of."

 _You're a very talented liar, Sir Mordred,_ Kerenza told him, impressed. He simply rolled his eyes.

"He's not here? With you?"

"If he was, would we both not feel the presence of such a great sorcerer?"

Kerenza snorted. She couldn't help it. It was such a preposterous statement. _She can't possibly believe that. Nobody can sense another sorcerer, no matter how powerful._

 _Shh._

Morgana's nose flared. She clenched her fists. She stormed angrily back into the manor.

Treasa, Kerenza, Mordred, and Percival exchanged a look. "What was that all about?" Kerenza muttered, mostly to herself. She didn't expect an answer, and she didn't get one.

Percival looked at Mordred. "A sorcerer?" he asked. When Mordred tensed, he continued, "I won't say anything. It's your secret to tell when you're ready. Arthur has already accepted Merlin. I'm sure he'll accept you as well."

Mordred nodded, obviously relieved.

Kerenza dismounted and slowly made her way toward the manor. She didn't like the feel of the dark magic emanating from the building, but she felt like they should at least attempt to follow Morgana. She stepped inside, her eyes widening as the spell took hold of her.

"Ma…" she said, hurrying back out of the manor. She was relieved to feel her magic tingling at the tips of her fingertips again. "My magic is useless in there. As soon as I stepped inside, it was like I could no longer use it."

Frowning, Treasa stepped inside the manor. "I had the same result," she said, as she came back out. "Why would Morgana use such a spell? It would affect her as well."

Kerenza gasped. There could only be one reason Morgana would be willing to give up her own magic. It was even more important that they get Emrys out of there without revealing his identity to the witch. She ran into the building, yelling, "Emrys!"

* * *

 **I'm sure you'll notice some familiar dialogue in that last part. As I'd said before, I will (and have been) take some parts from the last few episodes.**

 **I debated about having Percival there while Morgana talked to Mordred. I was going to take him out, but then I just...didn't. I think Percival can be a pretty easy-going guy, most of the time. I know that he hates Morgana (and I think he was kind of hoping to get in some punches or something here), but all of the knights were pretty accepting of Merlin. And they all trust Mordred, too, so I don't think any of them will have a problem with him being a sorcerer.**

 **Thanks for all the reviews. I love the support you guys are giving to Aithusa. She (according to Merlin wikia, Aithusa is female, though I'm pretty sure she was referred as a he at least once in the show; I can't remember exactly, so I'm going with the wikia's information) really did get the short end of the stick. But don't worry. We'll see Scathach again, and possibly find out what her plans for Aithusa are.**


	13. Twelve: Destiny and Doom

**I feel like I need to do a bit of explaining, since a couple of people have commented on this. I could be wrong on this, but I don't actually think that Arthur remembers that Mordred is the druid boy that he saved. And there's a few reasons why I think this. When Mordred sees Arthur as an adult, he says, "You don't remember me, do you? You saved me as a child." (Or something along those lines). Merlin is the one who recognizes Mordred, not Arthur. That's the sense that I always got from the show. Even though Arthur learned Mordred's name when he was a kid, he really has no reason to remember it, not with all the other names and things that he has to remember as the future ruler of a successful kingdom. I think Mordred's would have been forgotten pretty quickly. And Arthur's a knight. He's saved many children in many villages, so he probably doesn't remember exactly how he saved Mordred. Merlin, however, has every reason to remember the druid boy. Plus, I think that if Arthur knew/remembered that Mordred was a druid and had a connection to magic, he would have brought it up in his discussion with Merlin about the Disir's request for him to bring magic back. Because that would have been a point in favor of magic (like, a MAJOR point), and he never said a thing. I really feel that it would have been mentioned, several times, had Arthur known that Mordred had magic (and if he knew he was a druid, then he would know that he had magic, because it seems like, in the show, Uther and Arthur just automatically assume that all druids have magic).**

 **Sorry for the insanely long AN. I don't think that they really explained this well in the show. They kind of just left everyone to make their own conclusions, and my conclusion is that Arthur doesn't connect his knight Mordred with the druid Mordred that he saved, if that makes sense. That was my thought process behind all of that, and that's the situation that I have set up for this fic. I really hope that makes sense to anyone who was confused about Arthur's knowledge. Anyway, enjoy! There's a bit more action in this chapter (I will be honest, though; action scenes are not my forte, so it's probably not all that great. Sorry in advance).**

* * *

TWELVE: DESTINY AND DOOM (314 days)

Morgana stormed through her manor, anger boiling just under her skin. She refused to let this scheme go to waste. If Emrys wasn't there to stop her, then she'd finally be able to kill Arthur. She was outnumbered, but she was not outmatched.

With Emrys absent, she had no need to keep Scathach's spell in place. Not even the magi of the three druids could hope to defeat her.

She would kill Arthur, and then all of his pathetic little friends. Once they were all dead, she would be having a word with the traitorous goddess who had set her up.

* * *

Arthur and Gwaine crept as quietly as they could toward the dungeons, their swords at the ready. Arthur was surprised - and more than a little worried - that they hadn't come across any sort of traps. This seemed far too easy. Why would Morgana go through the trouble of abducting Merlin, only to let them rescue him without any problems? It didn't make any sense.

They arrived at the only occupied cell without any kind of mishap. Arthur knew that Elyan and Leon would be close by, ready to help if anything did surprise them. Inside, slumped against the far wall, was a scrawny figure with familiar raven hair. Arthur nearly panicked at the sight, until he saw his friend's chest rise and fall in a steady breath.

He was alive. Merlin was alive.

Gwaine pulled his lock-picking kit from his belt pouch. It didn't surprise the king one bit that Gwaine owned one. While he got started on the lock, Arthur called out loudly, "Asleep again?"

Merlin jerked awake, looking around. He grinned impishly when he saw the two of them. "Arthur. Gwaine." He pulled himself to his feet as Gwaine swung open the door. "Please tell me you have some food."

Gwaine laughed, slapping Merlin on the shoulder. "I should have known that'd be the first thing you asked about."

Arthur shook his head. "Merlin!"

"What? Arthur, I'm starving. I've had one meal a day, and it was not a very appetizing one."

"I'm sure I have something in my saddlebag."

"What are we waiting for, then? I really need to eat." Merlin started to move toward the doorway leading out of the dungeons, when Kerenza came careening through it.

She collided with Merlin, and they both fell, Kerenza on top. She clambered off the sorcerer, who was blushing furiously - Arthur would definitely be mocking him for that later -, and apologized. Her voice was a bit breathless. "Morgana…"

Arthur's good humor disappeared in an instant. He gripped her shoulders. "What about her?"

Kerenza took a few deep breaths before saying, "Morgana used a spell…to block all magic…in the hopes of…killing Emrys, I think…Now she believes that Emrys…isn't here…She's really mad…She's coming this way…The others are distracting her…" She was still panting heavily.

"Emrys _isn't_ here?" Merlin asked, acting ignorant. He was still on the floor.

Arthur rolled his eyes. It really was amazing that his idiotic servant had been able to keep such a big secret for so long. He was a _terrible_ actor. But the charade had gone on long enough. They'd wasted enough time, both of them. "Oh, come off it, Merlin. We all know."

Merlin narrowed his eyes. "Know what?"

"Emrys," was all the king said. Merlin stared at him, his jaw slack. Arthur wished he'd just stand up already. He looked like a bigger idiot than usual. "I know, and I'm fine with it."

"How long?" the sorcerer demanded, finally standing up.

Arthur shrugged. "I've known since about two weeks after we returned from the Disir."

A strange expression crossed Merlin's face. It was almost…anger? But Merlin never got angry. Not really. But then he shoved Arthur in the chest, taking the king completely by surprise. "You _ass_!"

Gwaine and Kerenza both burst out laughing.

Arthur was stunned. He'd expected Merlin to be _glad_ that he was fine with Merlin's magic. "What?"

"You're a complete ass. You knew this entire time, and you didn't say a word to me? You let me run myself ragged! I've hardly slept for the past few weeks!" Merlin was furious. Arthur had never seen his servant angry before. He'd seen him annoyed and broody and exasperated, but never angry. "I might have been able to avoid getting abducted if I hadn't been so damn tired!"

"You're blaming me? If you weren't so damn _stubborn_ about taking the position yourself, you wouldn't have had to run around and try to find someone to take the job for you. And you deserved it. You've lied to me for years. I'm your best friend and you should have -"

Kerenza cleared her throat, interrupting him. She looked like she was still trying not to laugh. She seemed to have gotten her breath back. "We really should get out of here. Morgana is furious. And, I'm sorry, but I think she's beyond reason. She's far too full of hatred. I think she's officially lost her sanity. She's…" Kerenza trailed off. "She's ended the spell. I can feel my magic again."

Merlin frowned at Kerenza. "Who are you? Wait…Are you wearing one of my neckerchiefs?" He looked at Arthur. "Why is she wearing one of my neckerchiefs?"

"My name is Kerenza. I'm Treasa's daughter." She touched the blue fabric, grinning. She glanced at Gwaine. "You were right. Although, you didn't do him justice. He looks better than good in them. He looks rather…delectable in them."

Color flooded Merlin's face at that comment. Arthur was definitely going to have fun with that later, though now wasn't the best time. "We should go. Are you all right, Merlin? Did she do anything to you?"

"Oh, _now_ you ask." Merlin glared at the king. "I'm not talking to you right now. I'm still mad."

"Merlin!"

"Shut up, Arthur!" And with that, Merlin left the dungeons.

Kerenza stared after him, grinning wickedly. "I like him."

Arthur scowled. At the moment, he wasn't sure that he did.

* * *

Morgana glared at the three people in front of her. She didn't know where the girl had gotten to. "Get out of my way, or I'll kill you all right now." She wanted to get to Arthur before Emrys had a chance to show up and ruin everything again.

Mordred narrowed his eyes. "We won't let you kill Arthur."

"You can't stop me."

"Just stop this madness, Morgana," the druid knight begged. "You won't succeed, no matter what you do. Such hatred as yours can never triumph. Please, try to find the love and compassion which used to fill your heart."

" _ **Hleap on baec**_ ," Morgana chanted. She was satisfied to see the three nuisances fly backward several feet, and land on their backs.

Unfortunately, it didn't knock any of them unconscious.

The druid woman stood. " _ **Gehaeftan**_ ," she uttered, and Morgana was thrown against a tapestry hanging from the wall. The tapestry immediately wrapped around her torso, restraining her.

With a simple fire spell, she was free. "Utterly pathetic," she muttered. Their magic was weak, inferior, to hers. Why were they even trying to stop her? They had to know that they couldn't. " _ **Forbearne**_! _**Akwele**_!" She flung the fireball she'd conjured at the druid woman.

" _ **Shieldan**_!" Mordred yelled, shielding himself and his two companions from her deadly fireball.

Morgana sneered. "Why are you bothering? I'm a High Priestess of the Old Religion. Even your combined magic, Mordred, is no match for mine."

"But mine is."

Morgana spun around. Arthur, Merlin, the druid girl, and Gwaine had just turned the corner into the corridor where Morgana had gotten sidetracked by Mordred. She could hear more feet running, and assumed the other two knights were nearly there as well.

She wasn't sure who'd made the comment. It had sounded almost like Merlin's voice, but that was impossible.

"What are you doing?" Arthur hissed at his manservant.

Merlin stepped forward. Morgana narrowed her eyes at him, not quite sure what was going on. "The time for all this bloodshed is over. I blame myself for what you've become…but this has to end. I will not allow you to harm one more person, even if that means killing you. I am going to end this once and for all, Morgana. I am, after all, your destiny and your doom."

" _You're_ Emrys?" This servant, this _boy_ , was her mortal enemy? Impossible.

* * *

Merlin felt Arthur elbow his ribs painfully. "I thought you didn't want her to know?"

Merlin ignored the king - he was still angry that Arthur had let him work himself so hard for no real reason. He glared at Morgana. She was staring at him with a mixture of anger and terror. "I am so tired of your games, Morgana. I had hoped that you could be saved. I see now that you won't let that happen. And so I can't allow you to live. Destruction follows you wherever you go. I'm putting a stop to all of that, right now."

Nobody moved. Elyan and Leon came around the corner, but they skidded to a halt when they saw the stand-off before them. Merlin was waiting for Morgana to do something. The rest were watching the two with bated breath.

He didn't have to wait long. She tensed, as though ready to attack.

With no words and hardly a thought, Merlin's magic performed three spells simultaneously. He held her in place, not allowing her to move more than an inch in any direction. He placed a barrier to keep her magic just out of her reach - he'd gotten the idea from her and figured out how to replicate it on a smaller scale. And he brought Arthur's sword to levitate so its point was hovering just over her heart. Merlin was able to maintain the spells with ease.

Morgana laughed, but Merlin could see the fear in her green eyes. He terrified her. He knew that should make him feel bad in some way, but he couldn't bring himself to care. "I am a High Priestess. No mortal blade can kill me." Even as she said it, though, she struggled against his spells, trying to break free.

"Ah, but this is no mortal blade. It was forged in a dragon's breath." He pushed the sword forward slightly, drawing a single drop of blood from her pale skin.

"Emrys."

Merlin didn't move, though he did still the sword. The voice was obviously female, but not one he recognized.

Morgana seemed to, though. Her eyes widened, fixed on some point over his shoulder. She stopped trying to escape his spells. "You!" she exclaimed. "You played me for a fool!"

A woman stepped around Merlin, and he could feel the power radiating off of her. She was tall, with flowing auburn hair. She was unnaturally beautiful. Everyone was staring at her, confusion written across their faces.

"It isn't terribly difficult to do, Morgana Pendragon."

Merlin, his curiosity getting the better of him, asked, "Who are you?"

"Scathach, one of the goddesses of magic and prophecies. It is a pleasure to meet you in person, Emrys."

"It was your spell that Morgana used," he guessed.

"Indeed. And I must say, you have done an excellent job recreating it. Well done."

Morgana spoke up again. "You lied to me. You did not uphold your end of the bargain. I want Aithusa back."

Anger filled Merlin as her works sank in. "You _traded_ Aithusa for a _spell_? Morgana, she's not a possession to be bartered!"

His friends looked even more confused than before. They would have to wait for explanations.

"Shut up, Merlin," the witch growled.

"Emrys is right," Scathach chided. "Aithusa is not a possession. The fact that you are willing to treat her as such is proof that you are not worthy of a bond with her. And I did uphold my end of the bargain. My spell was flawless. You were the one too foolish to see that you had Emrys in your grasp, powerless, the entire time." The goddess's face was difficult to read, but Merlin was fairly certain she was smirking slightly.

Morgana narrowed her eyes even further. "You knew who he was. You knew it would end this way."

"Of course I did. One of my domains is prophecies. The Triple Goddess is very displeased with you."

"I've only ever served her!"

"You've only ever served yourself, under the guise of serving her. You have delayed the return of magic to this kingdom. Every time Emrys has had a chance to show Arthur the good in sorcery, you have come along and shown him the evil in it. The Triple Goddess no longer cares what happens to you. She will not protect you from anyone seeking retribution for what you've done." It was obvious that this last sentence was a threat.

Morgana sneered. "Arthur will never accept magic."

Arthur stepped forward. "I already have accepted it, Morgana. Magic is going to be legal again. I'm doing what you've wanted all along."

Morgana began fighting against Merlin's spells again - his focus didn't waver. "I am a High Priestess! I am the last High Priestess! You can't kill me!" she screeched.

Scathach looked disgusted. "Another can be trained." She waved her hand, and Arthur's sword pierced Morgana's cold heart.

* * *

 **All spells that I use I've gotten from the Merlin wikia page. For the most part, I stuck with the phonetic spelling (because, frankly, it's easier) and the bottom possible meaning. Sometimes it might be a little different, depending on what was listed for the spell. If this changes at any time, I'll let you know. But I'll put the spells here, and their meaning (in the order in which they appear in the chapter)**

 **Hleap on baec-Leap on your back**

 **Gehaeftan-Restrain**

 **Forbearne! Akwele!-Burn up! I kill!**

 **Shieldan-A shield**

 **THIS IS NOT THE FINAL CHAPTER!**

 **There will be more. I'm not sure how much more, but there will be more. I hope you guys liked this chapter.**


	14. Thirteen: Showing Off

**Thank you so much for all the reviews for the last chapter! I really did love how that one turned out. It was probably the best chapter for this fic. Since I worked a nine-hour shift last night (as a care provider, so it was mostly uninterrupted), I have another chapter for you guys, with less than twenty-four hours between them. Yay!**

 **Just to give you all fair warning, from here on out, there probably won't be much more action. Maybe a few bumps along the way as magic makes its official return. We'll see. I have some vague ideas, but nothing really set in stone yet.**

* * *

THIRTEEN: SHOWING OFF (314 days)

Scathach looked at Merlin. She didn't spare a single glance toward the dead witch. Before she could speak, he asked, "What will you do with Aithusa?" He wanted to make sure she would be better cared for than she had been by Morgana. He wasn't sure why this goddess would have taken Aithusa as a trade for a spell. He took hope from the fact that she seemed to have been disgusted by Morgana's willingness to do so.

She smiled at him, and there was warmth in that smile. "I will heal her as much as I can. I'm afraid that I won't be able to heal everything. There are some things that not even magic can heal. Then I will give her to you."

"Me?"

"Who better to own a dragon than a Dragonlord?"

Merlin scowled, ignoring the looks his friends were giving him. He just hoped they would wait for him to explain everything. Even after rebuking Morgana for treating the young dragon like a possession, this goddess was going to do the exact thing. "She is not something to be _owned_ ," he growled.

"While I agree, Aithusa has suffered much trauma in her young life. She needs a guardian, someone to care for her and protect her."

"Kilgharrah?" Merlin wasn't suited to raise a dragon.

Scathach grimaced. He got the feeling that she didn't like Kilgharrah. Not that he blamed her. Half the time, he didn't like the Great Dragon much himself. "He _was_ her guardian. You saw how well that worked out. And he is getting quite old. He won't be around much longer to care for her. She needs you, Emrys."

"How can I -"

"You'll know. You'll know how to care for her. It's part of your Dragonlord legacy." Merlin nodded in agreement, though he wasn't exactly thrilled about it. A dragon would be a lot of responsibility. "Farewell, Emrys, until we meet again." A black mist enveloped the goddess's body, and then she was gone.

There was silence. Then, Arthur said, "Mordred? Just when were you planning to tell me that _you're_ a sorcerer as well?" Of course. They'd all heard what Morgana had said about Mordred's magic, just as they'd turned the corner.

Mordred blushed. "A druid sorcerer, actually, sire." Merlin wondered if Arthur remembered now the name of the druid boy he'd saved all those years ago. He would probably put it together eventually. "And I would have told you as soon as magic was legal again."

"Hmm." Arthur looked around at the rest of the group. Merlin was relieved to see that he didn't look angry. Just annoyed. He really was accepting magic, fully accepting it. "Is there anyone _else_ harboring secret magical abilities? If so, now is the time to tell me."

Leon, Elyan, Gwaine, and Percival shook their heads. Arthur glanced back at Merlin. "Is that why you didn't trust him, Merlin? Because he has magic, too?"

"No," the warlock answered, shaking his head. He hadn't forgotten his anger toward the king, but they were all staring at him and expecting an answer. Mordred's gaze was especially intense. "That was…complicated, and is no longer the case. I trust Mordred."

Arthur nodded, accepting the answer - for now, at least. Merlin knew he was probably just creating a mental list of all the things he would expect a full explanation of from him. "She called you a Dragonlord. I thought they didn't exist anymore. Balinor was the last."

Merlin gave his friend a sheepish grin. "Surprise?"

"How long have you been a Dragonlord?"

"Since Balinor's death."

Arthur was silent for several minutes, digesting this information. Merlin wished one of his other friends would speak up. Or even the wild druid girl - Kerenza. Why didn't she say something? He was sure she could come up with something that would distract them all. "I didn't kill the Great Dragon, did I?"

"No," Merlin admitted.

"You did?"

"No," he admitted, scratching the back of his head. "I didn't kill him. At the time, we both thought he was the last of his kind. It would have been a waste. So instead, I commanded him to stop attacking Camelot."

"And he listened?"

"Well…yes. I'm a Dragonlord. He couldn't refuse me."

"How? How did you become a Dragonlord?"

Merlin sighed. He didn't really want to talk about this in front of all of them. He could already feel his eyes stinging. He'd never really had a chance to properly grieve for his father. "I inherited the gifts from my…father, when he died. That's how the gifts of the Dragonlords are passed on, from father to son upon the father's death. Balinor was my father."

The king stared at him. "You told me you didn't know your father!"

"I didn't. Gaius told me just before we set out to find him. He'd never known that he had a son - he had left Ealdor before my mother could tell him. He was surprised when I told him. And then he died, protecting me." Merlin swiped at his eyes as the tears began falling, bracing himself for the teasing. Arthur was sure to call him a girl. Again.

Instead, the king hugged him. "I'm sorry," he said.

Gwaine, in his usual obnoxious fashion, pursed his lips and made smacking noises. Arthur pulled away quickly, but the short hug had been enough for Merlin. His tears stopped rolling. "Right. Let's get out of here."

Merlin looked down at Morgana's still body. "We should bury her." He didn't like the idea of simply leaving her there to rot. It felt...wrong.

Arthur's expression hardened. "She doesn't deserve it."

"No," he agreed, "but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't do it."

"I…can't."

The warlock nodded in understanding. After everything Morgana had done to him, of course he wanted nothing more to do with her. He bent and lifted Morgana into his arms. He grunted; he hadn't expected her to be quite so heavy. After a brief moment of hesitation, Kerenza helped him. Together, they carried the witch outside.

None of the others followed.

They worked in silent tandem, using their magic, until the grave was filled again. They didn't place a marker.

Then they just stood there, neither of them saying a word. As they'd left the dungeons earlier to find Morgana, Kerenza had explained that she and her mother had come to help rescue him. She had kept up a steady stream of conversation during their trek through the manor. It hadn't taken long for Merlin to realize that she was both impulsive and entertaining.

"So why _are_ you wearing my neckerchief? And how did you get it?" he asked, after several minutes of silence.

She shrugged. "I used it for a tracking spell. King Arthur gave it to me."

"Can I have it back now? You don't need it anymore."

She winked at him. "No. I think I like it."

He just stared at her. He really didn't know what to think of her. He liked her. She was a very interesting young woman. She was very beautiful, too. And he loved that she was willing to speak her mind, no matter who was listening.

* * *

Arthur didn't look back as they left the manor. He was glad it was finally over. Morgana was dead. Now all he had to worry about was his council, and getting his Court Sorcerer settled into the new role. And one of these days, he was going to make Merlin sit down and explain everything to him.

Everything.

It didn't take the group very long to get back to where they'd left their horses. Treasa curtsied deeply. And, after a sharp jab from her mother, Kerenza bowed. "We will go our separate ways now, sire. It was an honor to serve you."

"Thank you, both of you." He looked at the girl as she smoothly mounted her horse. "Please reconsider my offer, Kerenza."

She just snorted, which he took as another no.

Merlin narrowed his eyes. "What offer? Did you offer to make her Court Sorcerer? That might not be a bad -"

"No, of course he didnt," Kerenza cut in, rolling her eyes. "He offered to make me Court Physician. Well, apprentice to the Court Physician."

Merlin looked wounded. "What about me?"

Had he actually considered himself the apprentice? He was certainly skilled at the healing arts, but he had to have known better than that. He had other skills that he needed to use elsewhere. "What about you, Merlin? You're my Court Sorcerer."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

Out of the corner of his eye, Arthur saw Gwaine lean against a tree, grinning widely like he was watching a tournament. He was enjoying this far too much.

"I'm not."

"You are."

Merlin threw his hands up in the air, irritated. "I haven't agreed to this. You can't just _appoint_ me Court Sorcerer without consulting me first, Arthur."

"I'm the king, Merlin. I can do whatever I want."

"No, you can't."

"Yes, I can." This was getting ridiculous. Why was Merlin being so stubborn?

Arthur heard Kerenza ask, "Are they always like this?"

"Yes," all of his knights responded.

Gwaine added, "Isn't it sweet?"

"It's certainly entertaining. I could happily watch this all day," Kerenza said.

Treasa cleared her throat. "Emrys," she called. He looked at her. "You asked me to be Court Sorcerer, and I refused for a reason. Our legends depict you as a trusted adviser to the Once and Future King, not his servant. Take the job."

"I -" Merlin's shoulders sagged slightly. "Fine. I'll be Court Sorcerer."

Arthur clapped his shoulder. "I knew you'd come around."

Merlin just scowled.

Looking satisfied, Treasa nodded to Arthur. "Farewell, sire. And congratulations. He will be a very fine -" she broke off, looking at Merlin. Her eyes widened. "Oh. I see."

Arthur looked at his servant - Court Sorcerer - to see him hastily hiding his hands behind his back. The knights were all snickering. Merlin had an overly innocent expression on his face, which the king didn't trust for one instant. He'd obviously been using hand signals to stop Treasa from saying whatever it was she had planned on saying.

"Merlin."

"Yes, sire?"

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing, sire."

"Merlin."

"Yes, sire?"

"Stop saying 'sire.' It's annoying. What was Treasa going to say? And why did you stop her from saying it?" He doubted it would do him any good to ask Treasa herself. He sensed that she could be very stubborn herself when she wanted to be. It didn't look like he was getting anywhere with Merlin, either, though.

"Just that she thinks that I'm going to make a fine Court Sorcerer. Sire. There was no reason for her to say that. Sire." Merlin gave him his trademark smirk. "Should we leave, sire? It is getting late."

Arthur glared at him. He sighed. At least he could hound Merlin on the way back to Camelot. "Fine."

Treasa and her daughter had just started to leave when Kerenza pulled her horse to a stop. "Wait, Ma!" she called. "There's something I want to do first."

She swiftly dismounted and ran toward Merlin. She kissed his lips fiercely, pressing her body against his, nearly knocking him over.

"Kerenza!" Treasa yelled, her tone one of shock and embarrassment.

Kerenza pulled away, grinning recklessly. Merlin just stared at her. He looked like a fish out of water. "Nia will be quite jealous to hear that I kissed Emrys."

She was gone, riding into the forest, only a moment later. Treasa hurried after her, calling out an apology.

The knights and Arthur laughed at Merlin's stunned expression. "Isn't that sweet?" Arthur asked, unable to entirely contain his laughter. "Our little Merlin finally got his first kiss."

Merlin snapped his jaw shut and glared at him. "That was not my first kiss, King Clotpole." He began making his way toward the horses, only to stop and say, "There are six horses, Arthur."

"And?"

"There are seven people. Or did you expect me to _walk_ all the way back to Camelot?"

"Ah…" Arthur exchanged an embarrassed look with his men. How had none of them thought to bring an extra horse for their friend?

The sorcerer shook his head. "It doesn't matter. I didn't really want to travel back with you, anyway. I have a better way to get home." His eyes glowed golden, and then he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Gwaine whistled. " _That_ is going to take some getting used to. Merlin, performing magic at will."

"I think he's a little irritated with us," Mordred stated. "He seemed rather irritated."

"Do you think he's going to do magic tricks like that all the time, now that we all know his secret?" Leon mused.

Elyan grinned. "Probably not. I think he's just having fun showing off."

"He'll be bored with it by the end of the week," Percival said.

Arthur scowled. "He better be. I don't want him get annoying about it. He may be a powerful sorcerer, but he doesn't need to use his magic for trivial things. Let's go."


	15. Fourteen: Official

FOURTEEN: OFFICIAL (303 days)

Merlin fidgeted, uncomfortable in the new clothes. Arthur had somehow convinced him that he needed a new wardrobe to accompany his new title. He'd kept it all in the same color scheme and a similar basic style, just much better quality.

He could afford it, with the new salary he was being given.

But the new formal over robe was more cumbersome than anything else. He would definitely be taking it off as soon as he could. He pulled at it again, adjusting the sleeves, just as the door to his chambers opened. He'd also been given new chambers to go with his new title, which he'd moved into just the night before. They were very nice chambers, along the outer wall of the castle. Arthur was planning to have an enclosure built coming off of these quarters, large enough for a full-grown dragon. Aithusa would have a place to grow up in once Scathach returned her.

In some ways, though, he regretted taking the job.

"Stop," Arthur commanded. He was leaning against the wooden door, his arms folded over his chest.

"I can't help it."

"Why are you so nervous? Magic is no longer illegal. You're not going to be executed."

Merlin sighed. The council had approved a Court Sorcerer, and today was the day that Arthur was going to announce the role - and the person who was going to fill that role - to the rest of the kingdom. The council already knew that Merlin was to be the Court Sorcerer, but they were the only ones who knew. Not even the castle staff knew yet. "Not everyone on the council is happy with having a Court Sorcerer, let alone me as a Court Sorcerer."

"There were only three objections."

The warlock snorted. "Sir Brennis, Sir Caridoc, and Sir Geraint hate me, Arthur. They all want to kill me."

"No, they don't." Arthur winced. "Well, Sir Caridoc doesn't hate you. He just hates magic."

Merlin glared at him. "That's reassuring," he muttered sarcastically. He knew that Sir Brennis and Sir Geraint would always hate him. They had both lost a lot at the hands of magic. He honestly believed that they wanted to kill him.

"Out of twenty-seven votes, three objections is an excellent number. And only five members abstained from voting. Merlin, the clear majority are in favor. I knew it wouldn't be unanimous. These results are much better than I expected they would be. You've already sworn your fealty to me, in front of the council, and the official ceremony for that will be tomorrow afternoon. They'll come to trust your magic."

Merlin sighed. "Can we just get this over with?"

"You do know that there's a feast right after the official announcement today?"

Of course he knew. It was all the castle staff could talk about for the past few days - they had been especially talkative since they hadn't known what, exactly, the feast was for. "Do I have to go?" he whined, even as he walked out of his chambers.

The king easily caught up with him. "Yes, of course you have to go. The feast is in _your_ honor, idiot."

They walked in companionable silence. In the nearly two weeks since Arthur's return, Merlin had noticed a difference in their relationship. It wasn't necessarily a bad difference. Arthur was now more likely to treat him as an equal. He didn't insult him quite so much.

In some ways, he missed how it was before Arthur had known about Emrys. He missed the simplicity, the structure. As Arthur's servant, he knew exactly what was expected of him. Now, he had no idea.

And he and Arthur were still trying to get back into an easy routine. They had moments of awkwardness as they tried to adjust to the new dynamic of their friendship. They teased back and forth still, but it didn't come quite as easily as it had before. At least there were no more secrets. The day after Arthur had returned - upset that Merlin had simply magicked himself home after all the effort they'd put into rescuing him -, the king had forced him to tell him and the queen everything. Merlin would have lost his voice if he hadn't been able to use his magic, several times, to heal his throat.

While there were some things that he missed, there were several things that he enjoyed about his new position. His new chambers were very nice. The bed was simply wonderful. He no longer had to wash Arthur's socks - that was one of his favorite parts.

Merlin was especially glad that he could finally talk freely about his magic. He didn't have to hide his gift from anyone anymore.

The king and the sorcerer stepped onto a balcony together - ironically, the same balcony Merlin had seen Uther speaking from on his first day in Camelot. Merlin stood just behind Arthur as the king looked down into the courtyard. A large crowd had gathered to hear this announcement. And every word that Arthur said today would be recorded and announced throughout the villages of Camelot.

Arthur cleared his throat. "My dear people of Camelot, today I am making an announcement that may be difficult for many of you to accept right away. I hope that you all know that I would never do anything to jeopardize the safety of the people of this kingdom.

"My father declared war on sorcery, many years ago. He was wrong. Yes, sorcery can be used for evil. This kingdom has had personal experience with the evils of magic. But it can also be used for good. By outlawing magic, my father unintentionally paved the path for its abuse.

"And so, as of today, I declare the ban on magic to be lifted. Citizens of Camelot, you are once again free to practice sorcery."

The crowed began murmuring wildly. Merlin wished he could hear exactly what they were saying. Were they scared? Angry? Relieved? He couldn't get a good view of any of their faces to be able to tell. He imagined there was a lot of fear. He hoped there was a lot of relief as well.

"Be warned," Arthur continued, "that _any_ crime - regardless of the means by which it is committed - will be punished according to the crime itself. I admit that I am not very knowledgeable when it comes to sorcery. For that reason, I have created the position of a Court Sorcerer. This person will serve on my council, as an expert adviser on matters of sorcery. He will also handle the investigation and judgment of all magical crimes. I present to you, my Court Sorcerer, Merlin Emrys."

They had decided it would be best for him to use his druidic name as well as his given name. It was well-known and well-respected amongst the magical community. Those who knew the name would know just how powerful he was, and would hopefully be less likely to plot against Camelot while he was protecting it.

Arthur painfully kicked Merlin's shin when he didn't move. Merlin forced himself to smile and nod at the crowd.

* * *

Arthur glanced to his right, where Guinevere regally sat, watching the festivities around her. "I thought you were resting," he said. She hadn't been feeling well all morning - all week, in all actuality. She always managed to deflect him whenever he asked her about it, though. He had a sneaking suspicion that Merlin knew what was going on, but the stubborn man refused to give anything away.

And Arthur had been so busy making plans and sending invitations and getting Merlin settled in as Court Sorcerer that he hadn't really put much effort into discovering his wife's secret. He knew that she had been to Gaius, and the old man assured him that she was in good health. He wouldn't tell him anything beyond that.

Guinevere smiled warmly at her husband. "I'm feeling fine now. I wanted to come and join celebrations. For Merlin."

"He would understand. You should have Gaius look you over one more time, just to -"

"Arthur." She laid her hand over his own. "I am fine, truly. But I fear Merlin may end up drinking himself into a stupor if someone doesn't intervene soon."

Arthur looked down the table. Sure enough, Merlin was draining a goblet of wine. He wasn't drunk yet, as far as Arthur could tell, but he was close. The knights, instead of trying to pace the sorcerer's drinking, were encouraging him.

The king rolled his eyes. "That idiot," he muttered. He hurried to his friend and easily plucked the goblet from his hand. "I think you've had enough for now. I need you to have your wits about you if you're going to make a good impression."

Merlin narrowed his eyes. "And just who am I making a good impression on?"

Arthur grinned. "The ladies of the court, of course. You are now a prominent member of my council. It would be good for you to make an advantageous match."

The knights started chuckling. "Match?" Merlin repeated.

"Marriage."

Merlin just stared at him.

Arthur was mostly teasing his friend, of course. He didn't expect Merlin to marry anytime soon. Nor did he expect him to marry for any reason other than love - how hypocritical would _that_ be? But he couldn't resist nudging Merlin along a bit.

It was also extremely entertaining to watch Merlin squirm.

"What about Leon?" Merlin demanded. "He's been on your council for ages, and he's still unmarried. You're not trying to arrange a _match_ for him."

Leon held up his hands. "Don't drag me into this argument. I happen to be courting someone at the moment."

"Merlin," Arthur said, pulling his friend to his feet and ignoring his many protests. "Just go mingle." He pushed him into the crowd of noble men and women.

Instead of introducing himself and mingling, as he'd been told, Merlin just stood there. Arthur sighed, shaking his head. "Gwaine, perhaps you should go help him."

It was only after Gwaine clapped Merlin on the shoulder and started leading him toward a group of ladies that Arthur realized he'd been manipulated by his wife. She had distracted him on purpose.

* * *

Merlin was finally able to make his escape when Gwaine got distracted by the flirtations of several of the court ladies - not to mention the many goblets of wine he'd consumed.

Merlin had had absolutely nothing in common with any of the women. And he had seen the fear in their eyes. They were scared of him, of his magic. Terrified, even. It wasn't as if he hadn't expected it. Nearly every person in the castle was afraid of him now that they knew he was a sorcerer. Ever since Arthur's announcement earlier in the day, he'd been getting looks of fear from all the people he'd encountered. He hoped it would change in time, but he wasn't too optimistic.

Until then, he had absolutely no intention of flirting with women who so obviously feared him.

He slipped into the hallway, and leaned against the stones. He closed his eyes. He was glad that no one had followed him.

"Merlin."

He started, looking around. On a chair against the opposite wall sat Gwen. Her face had a very slight green tinge to it. She gave him a small smile. "Overwhelmed?"

He nodded. "I'm not used to having so many people stare at me. I've become more accustomed to being in Arthur's shadow. I didn't realize how much I liked being in his shadow."

The queen chuckled softly. "I know the feeling, believe me. It's quite an adjustment."

Merlin nodded again. It was nice to know that he had someone else who understood his situation. "It doesn't help that Arthur is trying to…basically marry me off."

"He isn't trying to marry you off, Merlin. He just wants you to be happy. And he thinks that having a lady to dote on will help you be happy."

"That's stupid. That is...That really is incredibly stupid." Merlin scrubbed his face. He sighed. "I am happy. Magic is free once again. I don't think now is the time for me to be worrying about romance. I want to get settled into my role first."

Gwen nodded in understanding. She had a sheepish expression on her face. "I suppose I should apologize. I sent Arthur your way, to keep him from asking questions about me. He was worried that I wasn't resting as I'd said I would."

"You still haven't told him." He didn't state it as a question. He knew she hadn't told Arthur. If she had, he would have heard about it. "You have to tell him soon. I don't know how much longer I can keep this secret from him."

She gave him a knowing smile. "Merlin. We both know that you are incredibly capable of keeping large secrets for long periods of time."

He sighed. He supposed he deserved that comment. "Gwen. Please. Just tell him. I'm tired of keeping secrets, of any kind."

"I'll tell him tomorrow."

He arched an eyebrow in her direction. "You said that yesterday, and the day before that. And you still haven't done it."

She winced. "I know. I'll tell him, I promise I will."

"Tomorrow, Gwen, or I'll tell him myself."

She sighed. "Tomorrow," she agreed.

* * *

 **I imagine that now that Arthur knows the truth (and Merlin knows that he knows), they're friendship is going to have a slightly different dynamic than it used to. I mean, Arthur has spent years belittling Merlin only to find out that he could destroy him if he really wanted to. So it will take some time for them to get back to the way things were - and I don't think they'll ever get back to exactly how things were. Enjoy!**


	16. Fifteen: Trust Yourself

FIFTEEN: TRUST YOURSELF (302 days)

Merlin frowned, staring at the tray of food that had been placed on the table in his chambers. First, he had found his bed littered with a very fine, itchy powder. Second, several of his clothes that had been washed were now terribly stained and would need to be replaced. And now, his breakfast. It was quite obvious that some of the servants and kitchen staff were against the idea of a Court Sorcerer. He had no idea who might be behind this, but it was more than likely someone that he knew. Or several someones that he knew.

He tried not to be hurt by this, but he had considered himself friends with the other members of the castle staff. He had worked with many of them for years. He would have hoped that they would have known him well enough to know that he wasn't an evil person.

With a sigh, he left the tray of rotting food behind as he made his way toward Gaius's chambers. He would deal with the annoyances later. It wouldn't take much for his magic to clean the bed or his clothes. He just didn't want to worry about it for the moment.

He didn't bother to knock as he approached the familiar room. He opened the door, saying, "As I'd expected, there are some people who clearly -" he broke off, seeing a familiar figure sitting across from floor by her bare feet.

Merlin's gaze flickered between his old mentor and the druid girl. "You told Arthur no," he accused. He had been a bit disappointed when she'd refused to come to Camelot - especially after that kiss. He certainly hadn't been expecting to see her again so soon.

Kerenza shrugged. "I changed my mind. The idea of being a physician appealed to me more than I thought it would. And I was really curious about the wonders of Camelot. Everyone makes it sound like such a wonderful place. And now that magic is legal again...I thought I'd give it a chance."

"Does Arthur know that you've decided to take the job?"

"Yes. I sent a messenger a few days before I left home."

Huh. He didn't remember Arthur saying anything about getting a message from Kerenza. Wait a minute... "You sent the messenger a few days before you left, and you came here because magic is now legal. That announcement wasn't made until yesterday morning."

"My mother has visions. I knew when King Arthur would make that announcement." She looked him up and down, a frown pulling at her lips. "I thought you always wore a neckerchief?"

He glanced down at his red tunic. Instead of the neckerchiefs, he now wore slightly high-necked tunics - because he'd always hated his long neck and felt the need to cover it. "Arthur insisted they were ridiculous."

"Not on you," she muttered. He noticed that she was wearing the neckerchief she'd essentially stolen from him. He...kind of liked it on her. She turned back to her food.

Merlin sat on a nearby stool. "So you're taking Kerenza on as your official apprentice?" he asked Gaius.

"Yes. She has a natural talent for healing. She's also more knowledgeable in the healing arts than you were when you first arrived."

The warlock nodded, feeling slightly conflicted. He was glad that Gaius would have a capable apprentice to aid him. But he almost felt like he was being replaced, even though he _knew_ that notion was ridiculous. Gaius was like a father to him. He didn't like the idea of someone else taking his place in Gaius's life. He knew that Kerenza wasn't going to take his place, but he couldn't help the thought from creeping into his mind.

He did like Kerenza, though. She would be good for the position. And he had a feeling that she would become a good friend in his life.

He looked back at her. She was dressed much the same as she'd been the last time he'd seen her, with leggings and a simple tunic. He blushed slightly at the memory of that kiss, with her body flush to his.

"You know that you'll have to start wearing gowns, right? You can't walk around the castle barefoot and in men's clothes. The nobles would die of shock."

She shrugged. "And?" She clearly didn't care much for nobles.

Gaius gave her a reproachful look. "Kerenza."

She visibly softened. Gaius had that effect on some people. "I'll wear shoes. But I am not going to wear a gown. Leggings are much more practical. And much more comfortable."

Merlin shook his head, grinning. "She's going to be more trouble than I was, Gaius. Kerenza, when did you arrive?"

"About thirty minutes ago. Once I'm finished eating, I'll change and help Gaius make his deliveries."

"I can show you the route," Merlin offered. It would help keep his mind off his apparent ill-wishers. He would probably have to make his own meals for a while, and not trust the food coming from the kitchens. In fact, he'd be better off not using any of the castle's services for the time being. It wasn't as if he didn't know how to clean chambers and wash laundry. He didn't need to have servants doing those things for him. "I've been helping Gaius for years. I know what needs to go where."

"That's an excellent idea," the old man agreed. "Now, my boy, what was it that you came here to tell me?"

He shook his head. "It's not important." He didn't really want Kerenza to know about his personal struggles.

They made idle chatter, until Kerenza took her bags into the room that used to be Merlin's up until two nights earlier. She closed the door.

Merlin sighed.

"You don't mind, do you?" Gaius asked worriedly.

"No. No, of course not. I just miss being here." Then he explained about finding the tray of rotten food for his breakfast that morning, along with a nasty note. And the clothes and the bed. "I knew it would happen. Or, I knew something along those lines would happen. Even with Arthur's official announcement and speech about the good in magic, people still mistrust it, and therefore mistrust me. It's going to take time."

Immediately, the old physician offered him his own meal. Merlin refused, ignoring his stomach's protests. "I'll fetch something at the market, while I show Kerenza the route."

Kerenza came out just then, and Merlin felt his eyes go wide. Tall tan leather boots covered her feet and most of her calves. She was wearing black leggings, with a dark green, fitted tunic over it. This tunic was more…feminine-looking than her other one, and almost looked like a short dress. A somewhat intricately embroidered short dress. The neckline was much lower, barely covering the swell of her breasts. She had taken her hair out of its braid, letting it fall in soft curls just past her waist.

Merlin gulped, suddenly nervous.

Gaius just laughed at him.

Merlin shook his head in an effort to clear it. He was fairly certain that Kerenza was laughing at him as well. She was probably extremely aware of the effect her clothing had on men.

* * *

Arthur stared at his wife, trying to process what she'd just told him. "You're serious?" Guinevere wasn't one to pull pranks on him, but he had to be absolutely sure.

She smiled and nodded. "Gaius had his suspicions, but he had no way to test it. Merlin confirmed it. He was able to sense it with his magic."

He didn't know what to think. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to think. "I can't believe…I need…" He wasn't sure what he needed. He just knew it wasn't in here.

He started to leave, but stopped when he heard Guinevere's worried voice call, "Arthur?"

Arthur turned back and kissed her fiercely. "I love you," he said. "And I am very happy about this. I just need -"

"Merlin," she guessed. "You need to sort out your thoughts, and you need Merlin to help you do it."

She knew him better than he knew himself, apparently. "Yes. That's exactly what I need."

"Go. I understand."

He kissed her again and rushed to his friend's chambers. He burst in without knocking, only to find the room empty. He frowned as he looked around. Remembering the few times he'd seen Merlin's old chambers, and the absolute horrid state the man had kept them in, he shouldn't have been surprised to find them such a mess now. Except that now there were servants who were supposed to keep these rooms clean for Merlin. The bed was in a complete disarray. There was a pile of stained clothes tossed on top of the bed - new clothes that the sorcerer hadn't owned long enough to acquire stains like that. Arthur's frown deepened when he saw a tray of rotting food on the table. Why would Merlin have rotten food?

Arthur's question was somewhat answered by a note on the table beside the tray. The writing was sharp, deep, obviously written in anger.

 **Your kind aren't welcome here.**

Arthur narrowed his eyes and stuffed the note in his pocket. He'd get to the bottom of it soon. He'd known, of course, that some people would be nervous about having a Court Sorcerer. He hadn't expected anyone to lash out like this. But when he found out who was behind all of this - and he would find out - he would make them sorry for their actions. How could he bring magic peacefully back if his people chose to disregard his laws?

Since Merlin obviously wasn't in his own chambers, the king next tried the Court Physician's quarters.

Walking in, he only saw Gaius, crushing some herbs in a small bowl. "Have you seen Merlin this morning?" he asked.

"Yes. He's out with Kerenza at the moment, helping her get familiar with my rounds."

"Kerenza? I wasn't expecting her until tomorrow. Do you know when they'll be back?" He was anxious to speak to his best friend.

The old man shook his head. "No, but I would imagine that they are in the lower town by now."

With a nod and a thank you, he made his way into the lower town. After several minutes of searching, Arthur finally saw Merlin walking through the market. He was laughing and eating a pastry. Beside him was a beautiful young woman with long, strawberry-blonde hair. Her outfit was extremely low-cut. Arthur tried not to stare.

"Merlin! Where is…" he trailed off as he realized that this woman _was_ Kerenza. She almost looked like a different person with her hair loose. "Kerenza. You look…"

She smirked wickedly. "Be careful how you finish that sentence, sire."

He decided that perhaps the safest course for him would be to _not_ finish that sentence. Instead, he smiled warmly. "Welcome to Camelot. Merlin, I need to speak with you. Now." He started pulling his friend away from Kerenza, toward the castle.

Merlin fought against him. "Arthur, you made me drop my breakfast!"

"I'll get you more."

"I can't just -"

"Yes, you can."

"I'm in the middle of a conversation!"

"I'm sure Kerenza will understand. I need to talk to you before the ceremony this afternoon."

He heard Kerenza laugh behind him. "I don't think he's giving you a choice, Emrys. I suppose I'll see you later. Thank you for your help this morning."

Merlin waved over his shoulder as the king continued dragging him toward the castle. "What is it?" the sorcerer asked. "What is so important that you had to drag me away from a perfectly good conversation? She knows some really interesting spells, you know. I was learning some valuable things."

Arthur didn't answer. He wasn't ready to say anything just yet. He wanted to wait until they were out of the crowd.

He could feel Merlin's eyes on him, studying his face. "Ah. Gwen finally told you, didn't she?"

Arthur released Merlin's arm and sagged against the nearest wall. No one else was nearby. He nodded, a smile pulling at his lips. "Guinevere is with child. I'm going to be a father."

"I know."

His smile began to fade as he thought about what exactly that meant. Fear and doubt crept into his heart. He couldn't be a good father. He didn't know the first thing about raising a child, teaching a child. His own father had taught him nothing but fear and intimidation. He didn't want be the kind of father that he'd grown up with. He didn't want to be Uther.

"Oh, no. I know what you're thinking. Don't. Don't let your mind go there, Arthur."

"Merlin, I'm going to be a _father_."

Merlin gripped his shoulders in reassurance. "Arthur, don't think like that. Yes, you're going to be a father. And you are going to be quite a good one."

"I -"

"You are not Uther."

"I don't know how -"

"You will not make the same mistakes with your son that he made with you. Trust yourself. You have a good heart. Listen to it, and you will be fine."

Arthur felt his panic subside, as Merlin let go of him and turned back toward the castle. This was exactly why he'd needed to talk to the sorcerer. Merlin knew Arthur, and he knew what to say to him. And... "Wait. Son?" he demanded. "You said son. How do you know I'm having a son? There is no way to know the gender of a child before it's born."

Merlin froze, and Arthur could hear him cursing himself under his breath. "Uh…Just a guess, Arthur."

"Merlin…" He narrowed his eyes, several things suddenly making sense. " _That's_ what Treasa was going to say in the forest! She said, 'He will be a very fine…' And then she stopped talking and never did finish that sentence. And _you_ wouldn't explain it properly. What was she going to say? A fine what? Son? Prince? King? Swordsman? Hunter? What was she going to say?"

Merlin began walking again, rather quickly. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about, sire."

"Merlin!" The insufferable man only called him sire when he was being cheeky.

The sorcerer sped up.

"MERLIN!"

* * *

 **So, Gwen has discovered her pregnancy much earlier than most women in medieval/Arthurian times probably would have. According to the internet (which, as always, I take with a grain of salt), most women didn't realize they were pregnant until close to the fifth month, when they first feel the baby moving. Gwen is only about seven weeks along. Back then, they didn't really have any reliable tests to check for a pregnancy. Even a missed period could have a dozen other causes. But Gaius may have a few tricks up his sleeves. And of course Merlin can use his magic to sense the pregnancy.**

 **So my portrayal of the whole pregnancy process may be inaccurate for the knowledge of the time period, but I am taking a bit of leeway here. I've always imagined, based off the show, that Camelot is a bit more progressive than most other kingdoms of that time. I'll try not to get too far off, but I'm limited in my own knowledge. I'll do my best.**

 **And yes, there is a line that is repeated in this chapter. It's not a typo. I did it on purpose. I am so glad that you all seem to be enjoying it so much. I love all the happy reviews that I've gotten!**

 **Oh, but I do feel the need to respond to the guest who reviewed the last chapter. And really anyone else who's thinking along the same lines. Yes, I agree that Merlin and Freya had an amazingly instant connection and an adorable romance. Merlin fell fast and hard for her, and it was really sweet to see that side of him. But I don't think that means that he can't ever love anyone else. That would be kind of depressing. I come from a family with a lot of steps, and so I've seen people fall in and out of love several times. I hate the idea of Merlin being alone and miserable forever and never finding anyone else to love. And Freya wouldn't want that for him, either. So I will help him find love. It may not be in this story (I am planning a sequel, maybe even two sequels), but he will find love again. That doesn't mean that he'll ever forget his love for Freya, or that his romance with her is any less important. That's how I see it anyway.**


	17. Sixteen: Nothing To Fear

**This chapter has a bit more lengthy dialogue than some of the others. One of the characters goes on a bit of a rant. I don't really like doing rants like that, but I felt it was important for this particular moment. So there's not really any action at all in this one.**

 **Oh, and KIMMIKY: Don't feel the need to do a re-write! I got most of those ideas from yet another author, though that story had nothing to do with magic. So I don't think it's a big deal for your stuff to echo someone else's. It's all about putting your own twist on it, even if you have the same basic ideas as another person. And if you think about it, there is just no way to not echo other authors. How many books have been written? Billions. There's not a single book that has ever been published (or every fanfiction that has been posted) that doesn't have some ideas taken from somewhere else.**

* * *

SIXTEEN: NOTHING TO FEAR (296 days)

Arthur was in the small throne room. He paced in front of a line of servants, each from various departments of the castle. It had taken him six days to find these seven. He knew there were probably a few more who were acting out against Merlin, but he was sure they would be less inclined to do so after today. And these seven were the most prominent, as far as he could tell.

Not that Merlin himself had told Arthur about any of these little "pranks." Arthur wouldn't have known if he hadn't accidentally come across the evidence of some of them. Why did Merlin always insist on doing things entirely on his own? The man never asked for help.

"How long have each of you served in this castle?" he demanded.

The answers varied.

Bram had worked in the kitchen for twenty years. Saeth had worked in laundry for six years. Dera had only worked in the kitchen for three months. Scanlon had been a serving boy for four years. Ennis had also been a serving boy, though he'd only worked there for four months. Hywell had been a stableboy for just over one year. And Lavena had been part of the cleaning staff for three years.

"Ennis and Dera," he called, still pacing. They both stepped forward. "You've both only been here for a few months. You probably haven't had many chances to see that my former manservant can be a complete _idiot_ at times. He is clumsy, and snarky, and insolent. He is also very loyal, to me and to this kingdom. I understand that you are all apprehensive about magic, I myself have been apprehensive about it, but I can assure you that Merlin is a good man. He is one of the best men that I have ever known. Having magic does not make him an evil person."

He took a deep breath, in an effort to maintain his anger. He needed to keep his calm, though. "In order to let you see his goodness for yourself, you two will be spending the next week helping with any and all tasks that he asks of you. He's been rather busy lately, gathering and sorting magical artifacts. Report to the main courtyard in exactly one hour. I'll meet you there, after I've finished with the others."

Arthur gave them a look that he hoped conveyed a warning. He needed them to understand that they would be very stupid not to meet him there. "Dismissed."

Dera and Ennis left the small room in a rush. They hadn't worked in the castle long enough to truly get a sense of the kind of man that Merlin was. He hoped that, given a chance, they would be able to see that. The others...

Arthur looked at the remaining five staff members. "You've all been working in this castle long enough that you should all be able to see that he is a trustworthy man. It took me much less time than that to realize he was a good man."

"He could have enchanted you, sire," Lavena said. She was brave, to speak to him without being asked directly.

Arthur snorted. It was such a ridiculous idea, though. Merlin, enchant him? "Enchanted me to do what, exactly? I throw objects at his head when he's irritating. I yell at him. I belittle him. Do you honestly think that I would do those things if I was enchanted? That Merlin would enchant me to do those things? And what purpose would he have to enchant me in the first place? Perhaps to make magic legal again. If that were the case, why would he wait so long to do it? I've been king for years. Perhaps he wanted the throne. And yet, you'll notice that he's not the king. And he's never tried to be the king. Or perhaps he just wanted a slight raise in status, a small seat of power on my council. That would make sense, considering that he does now have a seat on my council. Except that it took me weeks to convince him to take this job. And he still doesn't really want it. I practically had to force him to become Court Sorcerer."

He met each of their gazes in turn. "You have all worked with Merlin. You know him. There is absolutely no excuse for this kind of behavior."

He sighed, shaking his head. "I want nothing more than to exile you all. However, I am instead going to give you a choice. I cannot have staff that can't work with a sorcerer under the same roof. If you believe that you can overcome your reservations, you may stay. If not, I'm afraid you'll have to leave the city and find work elsewhere. I hope that you all choose to stay. You all _know_ Merlin. He's an idiot. He's clumsy and lazy and always late. You fear him because he's powerful. But he is kind and loyal and _good_. You have no reason to fear his power. And I will not tolerate any member of my court to be attacked in such a way."

He moved toward the doorway, stopping just before he opened the door. "I'm giving you all a choice. You have until nightfall tomorrow to make your decisions. If I discover any more of these… _pranks_ , I will banish those responsible. There won't be a choice if it happens again. Inform your fellow staff members of that."

* * *

Merlin nearly staggered under the stack of books he was carrying. He opened the door with nothing more than a thought. As he entered the room, he used his magic again, this time to clear the mess that had been created in his chambers. It looked as though the place had been ransacked. Nearly all of his possessions had been pulled out of the wardrobes, and the mattress pulled from his bed. Dirt had been scattered everywhere. It had looked like that before he'd gone to get the books, but he hadn't wanted to deal with it then; someone would have just messed it up again anyway.

Despite his request to have his quarters be left alone, some servants still managed to leave him unpleasant surprises. He knew that he could place a locking spell on his door that would only allow him in.

But he felt like using magic in that way wasn't going to help others to see the good that magic could do. A spell like that would just make them distrust sorcery even more. He didn't want anyone to think that he had anything to hide.

He didn't plan to use that kind of spell on his main door, at any rate. The door to his library was another matter. But that was a matter of safety more than anything else. Because of his title, Arthur had given him chambers with an attached library of sorts. He was using this room to store magical books and artifacts. This room he always kept locked with a spell. It would allow him and only him through the doorway. Some of the items that he was keeping in there were too dangerous for just anyone to have access to.

He also kept the doorway covered with a tapestry. If people didn't already know about the library, he felt no reason to alert them to its presence.

For nearly a week, he'd been sorting through the items kept hidden in the vaults, those Uther had deemed necessary to lock up. Most of the books and reference materials he was bringing back to his chambers. They would be good to study from. He was also requesting books from many of the druid camps, books that they would be comfortable with him making copies of. Only a few of those had arrived so far. Some of the more powerful items from the vaults he also planned to bring to his quarters. He felt more comfortable with these items under his personal protection.

He set the books on his table and sat down. He had just picked up the top book when there was a knock on the door. "Enter," he called.

He was surprised when Arthur came in, with two servants, a man and a woman, trailing quietly behind him. Their faces were familiar, but Merlin didn't know either of their names. They'd both only been there for a few months, and he hadn't really had a chance to get to know them before his life had changed so drastically.

"What is going on?" he asked, putting the book back.

"I have a couple helpers for you. Ennis and Dera."

Merlin shook his head. This was a task he'd much rather do on his own, which he'd informed his friend of when he'd first started the task. "I'm fine, Arthur, really. I'd rather not have any helpers."

"You don't get a choice. And neither do they." There was a steely edge to the king's voice. "They are to report to you, every morning, for a week. They will help you until the evening meal every day."

Merlin narrowed his eyes, wondering at Arthur's anger. "Why?"

"They don't seem to know you very well, Merlin. I want them to know exactly what kind of person you are. I want them to know that you are not a power-hungry, evil sorcerer."

The warlock sighed. He should have known Arthur would find out about the pranks. "Don't punish them. They're simply afraid. I don't blame them, not after everything that your father taught about sorcery. Of course they're afraid of it."

Arthur's jaw clenched tightly. "I'm not punishing them. I'm giving them a chance to realize that their fear is unfounded."

"What about the others?"

"What others?"

"Arthur, I know that it wasn't just these two behind all of the stunts. And I'm sure you know that, as well. What punishment did you give the others?"

The king sighed. "I gave them a choice, Merlin. I didn't punish anybody. Either they can stop this behavior, or they can leave Camelot."

"Arthur -"

"Were you ever going to tell me what was going on? Or did you plan to suffer in silence?"

Merlin shrugged, feeling a bit sheepish. "Suffer in silence," he admitted. "That's what I usually do."

"No more. If something is going on, you tell me, understand?"

"I can't promise that."

"Merlin -"

"Sometimes, it's better for you not to know right away."

The king shook his head. "No. I want to know. You've protected me for so many years, Merlin. I don't want you to think that you have to suffer on your own. You've been a wonderful friend to me. And I would hope that you know that I am your friend, as well. If you have a problem, you tell me."

Merlin nodded, though he knew that there would be times that he would have to keep things from his king. There were times that speed was more important than anything else.

Arthur moved toward the door and left. Only a moment later, he poked his head back in and said, "They are not to be dismissed until the evening meal, Merlin. Don't be a girl and let them go early. One week." Then he was gone.

The warlock sighed, looking at the two servants. Dera and Ennis, those were their names. Dera looked completely terrified. Ennis was furious.

Did Arthur really think this was a good idea?

"I really don't have anything for you to do. I just need to read through these books. I'm afraid they won't make any sense to you, as most of them are in another language. I will give you some money, and a list of items I need from the market. Take as much time as you need. Just make sure you're back before the evening meal."

The girl's shoulders sagged in relief.

The man didn't look as happy. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "You would trust us with your money?" Merlin shrugged. He wouldn't be surprised if Ennis stole every last coin he gave him. "What's to stop us from keeping the money for ourselves?"

"Nothing. Except King Arthur."

Ennis sneered. "You wouldn't tell him," he guessed.

"You're right. I wouldn't. But he has a way of finding out. You see, I also didn't tell him about any of the things that you did to land yourself in my service for a week. Yet here you are. I won't do anything if you steal my money." Arthur would tell him he was being foolish, but he didn't care.

He reached for a pile of parchment, and began making a list. He handed that to Dera.

Then he pulled a handful of coins from his belt-purse. He dropped those in front of Ennis. The servant stared at him for several minutes. Then he snatched the coins.


	18. Seventeen: Servants

**To one of the guests who reviewed: Your comment sparked an idea for part of the conversation in the beginning of this chapter, for which I want to thank you. You'll see what I mean.**

 **And to UnfortunatelyShattered: I do have a vague plan for Merlin's scars. They will be brought into the story at some point. Thanks for the suggestion, though. I may just use part of it. I always love it when people give me ideas. Even if I don't use the exact idea given, a lot of times it can spark another idea.**

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SEVENTEEN: SERVANTS (293 days)

Merlin hummed quietly as he read through a spell book that Kerenza had given him, sent from her mother's camp. Well, it was just a magical copy that he had created. He'd given the original back to her the very same day she'd lent it to him. The humming helped block out the noise of the dragon enclosure being built off his chambers, but only slightly. The men were not very quiet as they built Aithusa's future home. Merlin only hoped that it wouldn't take them much longer. If he'd had his way, he would have just magicked the room into existance. But Arthur was worried about how the other residents of the castle would react to an act of magic that large.

He was laying on his back on his bed as he read. A basin of water sat near the fireplace, several items of clothes washing themselves. It was a simple spell, easy to maintain while he focused his attention on the book in his hands.

This book had several spells that would be good for the upcoming -

The door opened suddenly, and Dera walked in with a stack of parchment and a few vials of ink. She squealed when she saw his clothes floating in the air - he didn't let her reaction interfere with his hold on the spell. She dropped everything she was holding, shattering the ink vials. She stared at the clothes, still scrubbing themselves clean.

Merlin grinned. "You really shouldn't get into my bad habit of not knocking. I could have stopped the spell so it didn't startle you."

She stared at the floor. "S-sorry," she muttered. She knelt down, most likely to try to clean up the mess.

"Don't. I can clean it up in no time," he told her gently, even as his magic repaired the damage. Within seconds, the vials were back together, once again full of liquid, and sitting on the desk. The parchment was neatly stacked beside the vials. "I didn't want you cutting yourself with that glass. Have you seen Ennis today? It's nearly midday, and he hasn't arrived yet."

She shook her head.

Merlin sighed, setting the look down on his pillow. "He better hope Arthur doesn't find out," he muttered. Ennis had been arriving later each day.

He glanced at Dera. She was standing there, her body language tense and awkward. "Sit. Rest. I would dismiss you for the day, but Arthur would be furious if I did, and frankly, I don't like dealing with the clotpole when he's furious."

She gasped. "You just…"

"Called the King of Camelot a clotpole?" he finished for her. "Yes, I did. I do it often. I usually prefer prat, though. He can also be a dollophead, and I make sure to tell him whenever he starts acting like it."

She continued to stare at him.

Merlin continued talking. He knew, from experience, that she wasn't likely to say much. "He finds ways to retaliate, usually by throwing something solid at my head. He also calls me an idiot and a girl. It's what we do. The very first time I met him, I called him an ass. He was acting like one. Of course, I didn't know who he was at the time. Once I realized, I told him he was a royal ass."

She bit her lip, and she seemed to be struggling with her words. Finally, she said, "I'm really sorry."

He arched a single eyebrow in her direction. "Sorry about what?"

"The food. I shouldn't have…I realize now that you're not evil. I may not understand magic, but I can see that you aren't using it for evil purposes."

Well, that was certainly an improvement. "No, I'm not. But I can understand why you would fear magic. It's easy to fear that which we don't understand. And most people don't understand magic. Do you mind if I show you a spell?" Her eyes widened. "It's a simple one, to…create something beautiful."

She hesitated briefly, then nodded.

Merlin whispered into his palm. " _ **Ye-wircan leef**_." A butterfly materialized just above the palm of his hand. He gently blew on the creature. It flew to Dera, landing on the tip of her nose. She gave a surprised laugh. Then it flew out the window.

The girl smiled. "Amazing."

"It is. Magic can be used for wonderful things." She nodded. There was less fear in her stance than there had been before. That was good. It was progress. Perhaps this little...punishment would turn out to be a good idea. For Dera, at least. "Would you be willing to bring us both some food from the kitchen? We can eat in here today, if that's all right with you." He didn't want to ask her to do anything that she was uncomfortable with. She and Ennis usually chose to eat their midday meal in the kitchen, away from him.

"Yes, my lord."

He cringed at that. He didn't like the sound of it. "No. Don't call me that. I might be a council member, but I'm not a lord. Just Merlin will do. Or Emrys, if you really insist on some sort of formality. Try to find Ennis as well, please. I'd really rather he didn't get himself into trouble."

"It's a bit late for that," the king's voice called. He entered the chambers, with a scowling Ennis at his side.

Merlin swung his legs over the side of the bed. "Oh, Arthur. You found him. I had sent him to gather some herbs for me," he lied easily. "He must have gotten lost."

Ennis frowned at the warlock.

Arthur narrowed his eyes. He knew Merlin was lying. "Oh, he knew exactly where he was. Buried deep in a cup of ale."

"I told him to take a break before getting the herbs. He's been working very hard this morning."

"Stop lying for him, Merlin. I know he was shirking his responsibilities."

"He wasn't."

"Merlin -"

"Aren't you supposed to be choosing a new manservant for yourself right now?" the warlock interrupted. "It sounds to me like you're the one who's shirking his responsibilities, sire."

Arthur's lips pulled into a scowl. Since Merlin's promotion, Arthur hadn't been able to keep a servant for more than a week. He either sacked them, or they decided to quit. He hadn't been satisfied with any of Merlin's replacements, apparently. The ones that he didn't fire were too scared of him to stay on. "They're all boring," the king whined.

Merlin resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "They all act the way servants are _supposed_ to act. They all act the way you always wanted _me_ to act."

"Well, I've found that servants who act the way they are supposed to are boring."

Merlin shook his head. "From what I understand, half of them have quit, because _you_ keep throwing items at their heads and they fear for their lives."

The two servants were watching the exchange with interest. They had probably never seen their king argue with someone else in this way. Nobody else was brave enough to stand up to their king, not in the way Merlin was. What could Arthur do to him anyway? Lock him up? He could destroy the dungeons with a flick of his wrist.

"It's not _my_ fault they can't duck quickly enough. And who even told you that?"

"Gwen, of course." Merlin smirked at his friend. "You could always hire George as your manservant. We both know that he's very efficient."

The king grimaced. "George? _Brass_ George? No. I will not…Wait." Arthur narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. "Efficient, proper, _punctual_ George may be just what I need. You were quite well-behaved after your little talk with him. Only for a day, but it was an improvement while it lasted. I'm sure Ennis would benefit from a chat like that."

Merlin shuddered at the memory. "Don't. Nobody deserves _that_."

Rolling his eyes, the king said, "Don't be dramatic. George's lectures aren't that terrible. Just like everything else he does, they're efficient."

"They are that terrible. They are much worse than his jokes about brass. I would rather be tortured than listen to one of George's lectures. Now, would you please let me handle my servants while you go choose yours?"

" _Your_ servants? I'm the one who pays them."

"You gave them to me. Until the week is up, they're mine to order around as I please. Now, shoo! I have very important reading to finish." Merlin kindly, but firmly, pushed Arthur into the corridor and closed the door.

Ennis stared at him, as though he couldn't figure him out. "Why did you lie for me? I was at the tavern, drinking."

"Nobody deserves a lecture from Brass George."

"You lied before George was even mentioned."

Merlin shrugged. "If he gets angry enough about it, he may increase the amount of time you're required to assist me, and I know how much you would hate that. Forcing you to be surrounded by the very thing that you hate is not going to make you hate it any less. I can't force you to see the good in magic when you don't want to see it. So there's no reason to give the king a chance to extend your punishment."

* * *

Arthur entered his own quarters just as a servant left, carrying a stack of laundry. The king frowned at Guinevere, who sat at the desk. She was reading a piece of parchment. "Who was that?" he asked.

"Rolan. He's your new servant." She didn't look up as she spoke.

"I didn't assign him as my personal servant."

"No. I did. You weren't there to do it for yourself. You seemed to be avoiding the task."

"I was dealing with Merlin's servant," he muttered. He _had_ been trying to avoid the task of choosing another manservant - and he absolutely refused to give George the position. He missed having Merlin as his servant, even if he had been quite useless at the job.

Guinevere looked at Arthur then. "Let Merlin deal with Ennis and Dera."

"I would, if he was actually doing something about them. Dera seems to be doing well. But Ennis is walking all over Merlin, and the idiot is letting him!"

"I'm sure Merlin will be fine. Just leave him be. And please try not to fire Rolan. He's been working in the castle for nearly ten years and has proven himself to be a very good man and servant. He's very dedicated to his work. You need to realize that you won't have another servant quite like Merlin, and that it's all right. You still have him as your friend. Stop getting rid of all of your personal servants because they don't meet your expectations of being just like Merlin."

Arthur huffed slightly. "Fine."

She smiled warmly at him. "Thank you. I received a response from Hunith."

Arthur had been waiting to hear back from Merlin's mother for several days. He sat in a chair near the table, turning to face his wife. "Oh? Will she be coming for the celebrations?"

The king was hosting a week-long festivity to celebrate the defeat of Morgana, in addition to the lifting of the ban on magic. He wanted a chance to show his people the _good_ side of magic. Merlin was supposed to be preparing a couple of performances, though Arthur had no idea what his sorcerer planned to do.

Arthur had also invited some of his allies, the ones a little more open to the return of magic in Camelot. Queen Annis had already accepted the invitation, as well as Princess Elena and her father. He hadn't heard from Princess Mithian yet.

"Hunith replied that she will be here. She hadn't known about the celebrations. She also hadn't known that Merlin is the Court Sorcerer, or that magic is no longer illegal here. She was quite surprised to learn about those details in our message to her. Apparently, word of these changes hasn't reached any of the outlying villages of Lot's kingdom."

"Merlin didn't tell her?"

"Apparently not. He doesn't know that she's coming. She said that she wanted to surprise him with her visit."

Arthur nodded, wondering at Merlin's reasons for not telling his mother about any of the recent changes in Camelot. Wouldn't Hunith be happy to know her son was no longer in danger of being arrested for practicing sorcery?

He looked at Guinevere, his eyes flickering to her abdomen. He couldn't see it, of course, obscured as it was by the desk. He knew he wouldn't be able to see any evidence of the child growing within her at any rate. Not yet.

 _His_ child.

He smiled. They hadn't announced the pregnancy to the kingdom yet. They would wait until the queen began showing signs of the conception, as there was always a chance of losing the child early on in the pregnancy. But Arthur was happier than he'd been in a long while. He wasn't worried about Guinevere's health, or the child's health. After all, Treasa seemed convinced that this child would grow up to a fine…something. Merlin still hadn't told him what she'd been about to say.

* * *

Sir Brennis and Sir Geraint sat in Brennis's rooms, nursing full goblets of wine. Brennis paced back and forth. "I am tired of seeing that disgusting _creature_ walking around this castle," he muttered, looking briefly out the window as he passed. Merlin was out there, carrying a basket full of herbs - probably for a nasty potion of some sort. His two temporary servants were trailing along behind him.

Geraint scowled into his goblet. "He's a council member now. The king would chop off our heads if we harmed his precious pet sorcerer, even if we are knights."

Brennis smirked slightly, stopping to look out the window once more. His gaze fell on the male servant, the one who clearly hated Merlin.

Almost as much as Brennis and Geraint hated the sorcerer. " _We_ won't do anything."

* * *

 **Ye-wircan leef-Create a life**


	19. Eighteen: Just Friends

EIGHTEEN: JUST FRIENDS (291 days)

Arthur and Guinevere sat in the smaller, less formal throne room. Several druids were in front of them. The king had invited any druid who wished to participate in his celebrations to share some of their magic. The seven people in front of him had agreed and arrived to discuss sleeping arrangements before and during the celebrations themselves.

The festivities wouldn't begin for another five days. Arthur was worried that his staff might lash out against the druids as they had against Merlin, if the druids stayed in the castle. And so they came to the conclusion that the druids would stay at the Rising Sun. Arthur would pay for their rooms during their stay.

The druids nodded and left, all except one. Treasa stayed behind. She nodded politely in Arthur's direction. Hesitantly, as if she wasn't sure she wanted to hear the answer, she said, "Sire, I must ask. Has my daughter caused any problems while here?"

Guinevere laughed softly. "No. Your daughter is a wonderful addition to our staff."

The druid woman sighed in obvious relief. She had clearly been worried about Kerenza's behavior.

Arthur grinned, hoping to reassure her. "She certainly keeps us entertained. But she is also very good at what she's doing. She's learning Gaius's trade quite quickly. The court is…adjusting to her unique way of saying and doing things." He didn't mention that Kerenza had kept her druid heritage mostly to herself. With everything that had been going on with Merlin, Arthur was inclined to believe that was a wise decision for the time being. He was sure Treasa had already guessed that her daughter would keep it quiet in the beginning. Perhaps she had been the one to suggest it. "Kerenza is bold and fierce, but she has settled in well here."

"Our court trusts Gaius, and they know that Gaius trusts Kerenza," the queen added.

"We enjoy having her here."

Arthur noticed that Guinevere was struggling to contain a smile. "Merlin, especially, seems to be enjoying her company. I think he's growing rather fond of her. They flirt with each other constantly."

Treasa's eyes widened at that news.

Arthur frowned at his wife. "Merlin and Kerenza?" He knew that the two had become friends, of course. That much was obvious to anyone with eyes. But flirting? Arthur had teased Merlin about that surprise kiss the druid girl had given him, but he never imagined that anything would come of it. "They're just friends."

Guinevere laughed. "Arthur, you can't possibly be that unobservant to have not noticed all the flirting they've been doing lately. And the looks they've been giving each other."

He was about to argue with her that there was simply no possibility that Merlin and Kerenza could be attracted to one another, when he realized that she was right. Of course she was right. They _had_ been flirting.

Treasa still looked stunned.

The king tried not to pout. "I was going to try to get Merlin and Mithian -"

"Mithian?" Guinevere interrupted. "Mithian is a wonderful woman. I respect her and like her a great deal. But she and Merlin have nothing in common. They respect each other, yes, and they could be happy together for a while, but it would not last long. And I highly doubt that she would be entirely comfortable with a growing dragon sleeping just off of her quarters. Eventually, Aithusa will be living in the dragon enclosure that we're building. Merlin's future wife needs to be comfortable with that. Stop trying to control Merlin's love life. He's obviously doing just fine on his own. He doesn't need you interfering."

"But…Mithian would make an excellent alliance. Merlin is a prominent member of the council. Mithian would be a good match for our kingdom." He knew it was a weak argument, and he'd never want Merlin to marry simply for the sake of politics. But he wasn't quite ready to give up the notion of Merlin and Mithian together.

"As would Kerenza," the queen argued reasonably. "Our relations with the druids are still new and shaky. A marriage between Merlin and a druid would solidify those relations. But who Merlin eventually marries is up to him. Not you, even if you _are_ the king. Leave him be, Arthur. Let him find love on his own, in his own way and his own time."

Arthur sighed, but agreed to stay out of Merlin's love life.

Treasa shook her head, her expression still one of surprise. "Emrys is interested in _my_ daughter?" she asked quietly.

The queen nodded. "Very interested. And from what I've seen, she returns his interest."

* * *

Merlin entered the forest, rolling his shoulders. He was taking a much-needed break from all of his sorting and organizing. He just needed to get out of the castle for a few hours.

He jumped slightly when Kerenza, who had apparently been in one of the trees, landed in front of him.

"Where are your shadows?" she asked.

"Busy. I sent them on some errands," he replied, trying extremely hard not to stare at her. She wearing one of her tunic-dresses, and he was finding the swell of her breasts very distracting.

She narrowed her eyes, studying his face. "You gave them the rest of the day off. Didn't you? Because you like to go easy on people as often as you can."

"Not if Arthur asks. As far as he's concerned, they're running very important errands for me. I needed a break, and I didn't have anything for either of them to do."

Kerenza sat against a nearby tree. "How is Ennis doing?" she questioned.

Merlin sat beside her, sighing. "He still doesn't trust magic. But I don't think he hates me anymore. He actually arrived on time this morning. And he willingly brought me lunch, just before I came out here. It was a delicious lunch, too. No rotten food." He glanced in her direction. "Why are you hiding out in the forest?"

She picked at the plants near her feet - which just happened to be bare again. "If you must know, I was gathering herbs for Gaius."

He arched an eyebrow at her. "In a tree? You and I both know that none of the herbs Gaius needs are going to be found in a tree. You also don't have anything with you to carry herbs in. Why are you really out here?"

She sighed. "I'm hiding from Ma."

"Treasa is here?"

Kerenza nodded. "She arrived several hours ago. She and six other druids went to meet with the king. I don't know where she is right now, and I'd rather not find out, to be honest. Undoubtedly, she's looking for me. Probably only to lecture me."

"Why would she want to lecture you?"

"I have a tendency to…misbehave. She tends to assume the worst of me."

"You can't be that terrible," he said, remembering all the trouble he'd gotten into as a child. "When I was seven, I used my magic to burn down my neighbor's grain storehouse."

"Did you do it on purpose?"

"No."

She stared at her feet, refusing to look at him. "Well, when I was seven, _I_ used my magic to turn a boy's skin purple because he told me that I was ugly. It wasn't an accident."

Merlin gulped. "He must have been blind," he muttered, mostly to himself. "Because you're beautiful." Then he blushed, realizing that he hadn't said that as quietly as he'd meant to. Kerenza had certainly heard him.

He could practically _feel_ her smiling in his direction. "We were only seven. I wasn't beautiful back then. I was goofy-looking."

He snorted, shaking his head in disbelief, but decided to change the subject.

He told her about the time that his mother found out that he'd accidentally used his magic in front of his friend Will. She had been furious with him for being so careless. It was the only time he could remember his mother actually being angry with him. It was the only time he could remember her yelling at him.

She began relating a tale of when she was eight, and she'd decided to try her hand at making herself fly. She hadn't been very successful, apparently.

He rubbed his eyes as his vision blurred slightly. He tried to focus on Kerenza's story, but he was finding it a little difficult. She was saying something about a blue-striped cow? That couldn't possibly be correct. She had originally been talking about flying. Or had it been boys with purple skin? He was too tired for this. He was sleep-deprived. That must have been it. He hadn't been getting nearly enough sleep lately, with all the books he'd been reading through, and now he was imagining things.

"I'm sorry, Kerenza," he told her sincerely. "I'm having quite a bit of trouble focusing right now. I'm exhausted. I really shouldn't stay up so late each night. Tell your mother hello for me, once you've finished hiding from her."

"I will," she answered with a chuckle, even as he stood up. He waved, and began making his way back to the castle. Something was wrong, and he was worried that it was more than just simple sleep-deprivation. He could barely see. He could barely think. Everything was jumbled in his head.

He knew there was something important he should do to help himself in this situation, something…

Merlin sagged against the nearest wall, pressing a hand to his chest. It hurt. Why was his chest hurting so much? He closed his eyes, pushing his hand harder against his chest, trying in vain to alleviate the pressure building there.

"Merlin? Are you all right?"

He blinked, as several figures in long red cloaks approached him. Knights. There were at least six knights…no, four…two. Two knights. There were two knights coming toward him.

"I can't…I need…" He rubbed his head. Nothing was making sense.

Then he felt his whole body stiffen. His back arched as his muscles seized. Darkness filled his vision. He was on the verge of losing consciousness, he knew that much.

"Merlin! Percival, take him to Gaius. I'll get -"

* * *

With a sigh, Kerenza headed toward the castle, only a few minutes after Emrys left. She made her way to the physician's chambers. She was sure her mother would find her there eventually. She certainly wasn't going to seek out her mother.

Just as she entered the corridor leading to Gaius's quarters, two men ran past her. One was blonde and regal, most likely the king. The other one was a dark-haired knight - Sir Gwaine, she thought - wearing a long red cloak.

They burst into the chambers ahead of her. Neither of them gave any indication that they'd even seen her. What could have them in such a rush?

Frowning, she followed them into the room. She froze, her hand flying to cover her mouth, when she saw what had brought the men there so quickly. Her heart skipped a beat.

Emrys was laid out on the table, his eyes closed, his fists clenched as his body convulsed violently. Gaius was standing over him.

"Someone go to his rooms and bring me anything that he could have consumed in the last several hours," the old man instructed.

"What's wrong with him?" King Arthur demanded, as Percival rushed past him and out of the room.

Gaius sighed. "I think he's been poisoned, sire."

" _Poisoned_? Who would -" the king broke off, his jaw clenching tightly. "Ennis.

* * *

 **Merlin is just having all kinds of trouble lately. I'll try to get the next chapter up fairly quickly, so as not to leave you guys hanging. Enjoy! Or, don't. I doubt many of you will actually enjoy the fact that Merlin's just been poisoned.**


	20. Nineteen: Poison

**I was going to go on a huge long rant in reply to one of the guest reviews** **…** **But I won't. That person apparently isn't going to be reading this story anymore, which is their choice. I don't resent that. But I will say a few things in response to it.**

 **I'm not pairing Merlin with Kerenza simply because she's my creation. I honestly felt like Merlin never really connected with anyone (who is currently still alive) from the show well enough to make a good marriage. And seriously, he needs someone who really understands magic. Kerenza was basically created to be that someone for Merlin. That has always been my intention for her, and it's not like I haven't been hinting at that all along. She's her own character, though, so there's still a chance that they won't end up together. I mean, she was supposed to be a princess to begin with, so who knows with her.**

 **And I know that I'm not a perfect writer; no one is. But I really don't like criticism that isn't beneficial in any way. If you're going to criticize my work, please be constructive about it. Simply telling me that a character is terrible doesn't help me with my writing; it doesn't help me make that character better. If you think one of my OCs is terrible (or all of them), tell me why. You have every right to dislike my OCs. It doesn't hurt my feelings if you don't like one of them. We all have characters that we like and dislike for various reasons. Just make sure to inform me of** _ **why**_ **you dislike them. And _if_ it's something that I feel needs to be changed or modified or explained better, I will do that. I value your opinions. I can't make something better if I don't know how. I'm a bit biased toward my own characters (honestly, who isn't?); I don't always notice the flaws. So if you see something, let me know. In a way that I can actually benefit from. I hope that makes sense.**

 **Okay. Sorry about that, guys. I guess I did go on a huge long rant, even though I hadn't intended to.**

 **Oh, and to NightsAnger: Ah, the day counter. I wondered if anyone was ever going to mention it. I thought about taking it down, but I don't know. I haven't decided how necessary it is for the rest of the story, so for now, it's staying. That may or may not be an ominous thing. Love that you pointed it out.**

 **Dmcmeel412: Glad you like Merlin being poisoned, I guess? Lol. I get what you mean. I'm glad you're enjoying it, because I'm actually usually really bad at making good plots. It is not my strongest point when it comes to writing.**

 **Saroura92:** _ **Is**_ **he that stupid?**

 **One last thing, I promise. The poison used on Merlin is made up. I couldn't find one that filled my needs exactly, so I created one. And now that you've all read this insanely long AN, here's the story.**

* * *

NINETEEN: POISON (291 days)

Kerenza shook herself out of her shock. She remembered what Emrys had told her earlier that very day. "I don't think Ennis would have done this," she told the king. "Emrys told me, just fifteen minutes ago, that he had arrived on time this morning. And he willingly brought him…lunch…" she trailed off, horror filling her.

King Arthur turned to the knight. "Gwaine, find Ennis. Put him in the dungeons. Now. I want him under lock and key until I can come talk to him."

Gwaine nodded and left in a rush.

The king looked back at Gaius. He was obviously trying not to look at the shaking body on the table. Kerenza was trying not to look herself. The sight made her heart ache. "Do you know what kind of poison it was?"

The physician hesitated. "I can't be certain, sire."

Kerenza narrowed her eyes. She hadn't been living with Gaius for very long, but she felt like she was getting to know him, well enough to know that he was almost certain about which poison had been used. The fact that he didn't want to tell the king was a bad sign. A very bad sign.

Arthur turned his gaze back to the Court Sorcerer. He looked pained when Emrys slammed his fist against his chest, as if it was hurting. "Do what you can for him, Gaius. An antidote, magic, whatever can cure him."

"I need to know exactly which poison I'm dealing with first."

Arthur nodded. "Of course."

Only a moment later, Percival returned. He was carrying a tray with a plate, bowl, and goblet. The plate and goblet were both empty, but there were still blueberries in the bowl. If Emrys hadn't given his two servants the remainder of the day off, the dishes probably would have already been taken back to the kitchens. Gaius immediately began inspecting each dish.

He sniffed the blueberries with extra care, a frown pulling at his lips. "The poison used is a colorless liquid and has a very slight odor to it, very similar to that of blueberries. I can't smell any trace of it on the plate or in the goblet. Only on the blueberries themselves. It's similar enough that Merlin might not have noticed the smell. The taste would have been a little bitter, which might be why he didn't finish eating them."

"Wouldn't he notice the liquid coating them?"

"It doesn't take very much to be lethal, sire. And because it has no color, it gives the appearance that the berries were freshly washed. He wouldn't have thought much about a small amount of liquid on them, especially if he was distracted by something else as he was eating."

"So you can tell what poison it was?"

Gaius nodded, and Kerenza had a feeling she also knew exactly which poison had been used. The convulsions, the grogginess earlier, the blueberries. She knew what Gaius was going to say before he said it.

"It's a liquid poison extracted from the root of the Arcanis flower." Kerenza felt tears rolling down her cheeks. She knew what this poison was capable of. "It is more commonly known as Demon's Curse, because of the violent convulsions that it causes. The flower is very rare, and therefore the poison is extremely difficult to attain. And there is no known antidote."

The king sank onto the nearest stool, his face devoid of any color. "No antidote?"

Gaius shook his head sadly. "I'm afraid not. The symptoms begin manifesting about an hour after the poison is consumed. Grogginess, blurred vision, chest pains, convulsions, and unconsciousness."

"How long? How long does he have?"

Kerenza heard herself speaking, her voice a monotone. "It depends on the…victim and the amount of poison consumed. It really does not take a lot of the vile stuff. Some die of sheer exhaustion, if the convulsions are violent enough. Some die when their hearts give out. It could take hours, or days."

"Magic?"

She didn't have the heart to tell him that magic rarely worked against a poison this strong - it took too much power and energy to both heal what had already been damaged and to drive out the poison. "It isn't always successful. But I'll try," she said, stepping forward. It rarely worked, but that didn't mean that it _never_ worked. She doubted she was powerful enough to do it, but she wasn't about to just give up.

She reached out with her magic, with the intention of learning exactly what was being affected by the poison, so she would know where to focus her healing spells.

But just as her magic touched Emrys, an invisible force threw her backward. Her back hit the wall, her arm knocking over and breaking several of the vials on a table to her right in the process.

They all stared at Emrys. A shimmering barrier surrounded his body. She frowned. "His magic…pushed mine away."

Arthur looked simultaneously worried and relieved - Emrys's convulsions had suddenly become much less violent, which was a relief. "What does that mean?"

Gaius shrugged. "It seems as though his magic is defending him."

"From Kerenza's healing spell? Why would Merlin's magic push hers away, when she's only trying to help?"

"Merlin's magic can be very instinctual. It might not be able to decipher that her magic isn't a threat at the moment. It's possible that it's trying to heal him on its own, and to protect him from getting hurt any further."

"Can he do that? Heal himself while he's…unconscious?"

Gaius shrugged. "I don't know everything that Merlin is capable of. Most people can't perform spells while unconscious and under the influence of poison. And healing spells are especially difficult when it involves powerful poison. It requires focusing the magic on several things at once. Most sorcerers can't perform spells like that. Kerenza said that she would try, but even as powerful as she is, she knows that she might not have been successful." The physician nodded in her direction, almost apologetically. She wasn't offended. He was only voicing what she had been thinking herself. "But Merlin is…"

"Magic itself," Arthur finished for him. "That's what he told me. So you're saying that if anyone can use magic to get rid of this poison, it's Merlin? He might be the only one powerful enough to do it? Even while it's trying to kill him."

"Precisely."

"Is there anything we can do to help him?"

Kerenza sighed, shaking her head. "No. His magic has gone on the defensive. It's blocking all outside influences, good and bad. It isn't even allowing me to assess the damage." She chewed her lip. "There is nothing we can do but wait."

The king nodded, getting to his feet. "I sometimes forget just how powerful he is. If his magic is that strong, he should be able to heal himself from this. I have to believe that." He took a deep breath, looking down at his friend one last time. "Send word as soon as anything changes. I need to deal with Ennis. Unless he decided to leave Camelot, I'm sure Gwaine's found him by now." Arthur left the room.

Kerenza looked back at Emrys. His muscles were tense, but at least he wasn't convulsing anymore. The barrier was still there. She'd heard - and seen - just how powerful he was. He had shown that he was capable of holding multiple spells at one time, when they'd faced Morgana. She could only hope that he was powerful enough to overcome this as well.

* * *

Arthur entered the dungeons, his mouth set in a thin line. Gwaine stood near the occupied cell, his arms crossed, his expression furious. "He claims he didn't know that Merlin had been poisoned," he whispered to the king. His tone said that he didn't believe it any more than Arthur did. "How is he? Is Gaius able to do anything?"

"The poison has no antidote," the king answered, his voice also a whisper. He didn't have any desire for the prisoner to hear what he was saying at the moment. "But magic might be able to cure him. We just have to wait and see."

Gwaine looked at the servant inside the cell. "If he dies, I will kill you myself," the knight warned quietly.

Ennis looked up at the king, his face full of fear. Had he honestly thought that the poison wouldn't be traced back to him? "Sire, I -"

"Powder in the bed, stained clothes…Those are fairly harmless acts, comparatively speaking. Those are forgivable acts. But poison that has no antidote? This has gone too far, and I regret giving you a second chance, Ennis. You have proven beyond a doubt that you didn't deserve it."

"Sire, I didn't poison him, I swear it. I…I don't like him, it's true. But I never -"

"You brought him lunch today, did you not?"

"Y-yes. He asked me to, and I was happy to do it. But -"

"It was poisoned. Care to explain that?" Arthur was struggling to keep himself calm and under control. He was furious. And he was worried. It wasn't the best combination at the moment. He knew that. He also knew that he had no intention of making any rash decisions today. He wouldn't decide this servant's fate until Merlin was either healed, or…

He didn't want to think about that.

Ennis shook his head. "I don't know how the poison got on his food. I didn't put it there, I swear. I took the food directly from the kitchens to Merlin's rooms. I never…I didn't poison it. I wouldn't do that."

"Even to a man that you hate?"

"I don't...hate him. I don't _like_ him, but I no longer hate him. Sire, please. I didn't -"

"The evidence points to you, Ennis. Any food coming out of the kitchens is thoroughly checked for any kind of poison. And you were the only one to have access to it between the kitchens and his rooms. There was no one else who could have done it." He took a deep breath. He was starting to lose his control. He needed to leave, before he did something he would regret. He prided himself on being a fair king. This worthless man would get a fair trial, he would make sure of it. "Your fate will be determined by whether or not my Court Sorcerer survives. You had best hope that he does."

"Sire, he wasn't even in -"

The king left, before he could kill the servant. He was afraid that if he heard another word out of the man's mouth, he _would_ kill him.

* * *

 **I know it's shorter than most of my chapters. Sorry. I threw around a few more ideas to add to it, but they all felt forced and out of place, so they'll have to wait. And again, I'm sorry for the really long AN at the beginning. Don't hate me for it. I felt it all needed to be said.**


	21. Twenty: Disaster

**Thanks for all the support! As suggested by guest NC, I'll put the majority of my AN at the end. I just wanted to say thank you for the amazing support you guys have given me.**

* * *

TWENTY: DISASTER (290 days)

Kerenza jerked awake when she heard the door open and close softly. She'd fallen asleep on a chair beside Emrys's bed - a few of the knights, who'd come in to check on their friend, had moved him from the table to Gaius's bed. The physician was asleep in her room.

Rubbing her eyes, she looked up to see Queen Guinevere. She'd only met the queen a few times, but she liked and respected her. She was a very wise woman.

Kerenza inclined her head, standing to offer the chair to the queen. Guinevere took the seat, after a moment of hesitation. "Your Majesty."

The other woman smiled. "How is he?"

They both looked at Emrys. His breathing was steady, but he had yet to wake up. His magical barrier was still protecting him. It wouldn't allow anyone to even touch him.

Kerenza sighed. "It's difficult to know for sure. Every time I send out my magic to look him over, his magic pushes mine away. It doesn't stop me from trying, though. I know I can be a stubborn woman sometimes. He hasn't had any convulsions for several hours, though his body does tense up occasionally. I think his chest pains have stopped as well. He hasn't clutched at his chest recently, at any rate."

She'd woken every time he'd so much as breathed sharply, let alone moved in any way. It had been a long, sleepless night.

The queen stared at Emrys, her dark eyes full of concern. "Do you think he'll survive this? Is his magic strong enough to cure him? Arthur is clinging to that hope right now, but do you believe it?"

"Yes," she answered, without hesitation. She could see that he was improving, at least. That gave her hope that he would overcome this. "I believe he'll live. I don't know how long it will take. And he may remain unconscious, even after he's healed. A spell like this will drain his energy."

"I hate seeing him like this. It isn't the first time, either."

Kerenza frowned. "He's been poisoned before?"

Guinevere nodded. "Yes. A sorceress had fooled Merlin into drinking a poisoned goblet; he did it to save Arthur. Arthur then risked his own life to get the antidote, against his father's wishes. And Merlin, here on his deathbed, had managed to send a light to guide Arthur out of a trap. I know he's powerful. From what I understand, he can bend his magic in ways that most other sorcerers can't. But at least that poison had an antidote. Now, magic is his only hope. It's difficult, to know that there isn't anything we can do to help him. It's all up to him."

Frowning slightly, the queen pressed a hand to her belly.

"Are you feeling ill, my lady?"

"Only a little. It will pass."

Kerenza nodded in understanding. "Ah. The babe."

"How did you -"

"Ma. She's a seer."

Guinevere nodded. "Of course. I've only had the pleasure of meeting Treasa once myself, but Arthur has told me about her gift of foresight. Where is she? I thought she would be with you."

"She returned to the inn last night. She did come by, but she felt useless. I don't blame her. I feel useless myself."

The queen sighed, looking both sad and worried for her friend. It was obvious to Kerenza that the two of them were close. Not just by the concern Guinevere was showing for her friend, but by the few interactions she'd seen between them. "Hunith is supposed to arrive sometime today. She wanted to surprise him. Instead, she'll only find him on the brink of death. No mother wants to see that. She has done so much to protect her son. And now…"

Kerenza hesitated, but only for a tiny moment, and then reached out to grip the queen's hand. It probably wasn't the most proper thing for her to do, but…Well, she'd already called the king an idiot. She wasn't exactly known for being proper. She smiled in a way that she hoped was reassuring. "He'll be all right," she said, willing it to be true.

"I hope so. We would all be lost without our Merlin."

She thought about the knights, about the way they had looked the night before. "I had been a little surprised at the lengths to which so many people - noble knights, and even a king - would go for a servant. None of them had any knowledge of the prophesies that surrounded him. None except Mordred."

Guinevere's smile was full of warmth and fondness. "Merlin has a way of worming himself into the hearts of those around him. But you already knew that, didn't you?"

Kerenza blushed slightly, as the queen's meaning became clear. The queen was more perceptive than she'd like her to be. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about, my lady," she replied stiffly.

Guinevere laughed. "There are times, Kerenza, that you sound exactly like Merlin."

* * *

Arthur swung his sword fiercely, barely missing Elyan's shoulder. He really shouldn't have been training at the moment. It was too early - the sun was just barely starting to rise - and he was far too angry. He _should_ have gone with Guinevere to see Merlin, but he just…couldn't.

He couldn't stand around and do nothing while watching his best friend possibly die.

So he'd come out to the training field, where he'd found Mordred and Elyan. "Worried about him?" Elyan had asked.

The king had scowled. "Of course. I worry about the idiot tripping over his own feet."

Mordred had smiled tightly. "He is much stronger than you realize, sire. He'll be able to heal himself, I'm sure of it."

Now, Arthur was pouring all of his worry and frustrations into his sparring match with Elyan. His new servant, Rolan, had dutifully followed him and stood to the side, ready to help with anything the king needed. Rolan, with his stupid small ears and stupid brown hair and stupid brown eyes and stupid beige tunics without stupid neckerchiefs.

Arthur didn't like him.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. The man was very efficient, and he had a decent sense of humor. He didn't trade insults with Arthur the way that Merlin did, but he wasn't entirely boring, and he was rather good at ducking. But he wasn't Merlin.

Damnit.

Of course he wasn't Merlin, because _Merlin_ was currently lying in Gaius's chambers near death.

Arthur angrily threw down the sword, calling off the match. He yanked off his helmet and threw that, too. He kicked it for good measure. Nobody moved. Elyan, Mordred, and Rolan stared at him.

Then, without a word, Rolan picked up the helmet and sword. He placed them on a nearby bench.

Arthur looked up when he heard someone running onto the field. Gwaine. And he looked serious, which was rarely a good thing. Fear clenched his heart. "Is it Merlin? Did something change?"

The knight shook his head. "Sire, I think we need to speak to Ennis again."

Arthur narrowed his eyes. "Why?" he asked. He was worried that if he spoke to the servant again, he'd do something rash.

"He might not have poisoned Merlin. I left the dungeons right after you did yesterday, but something that Ennis said has bothered me all night. He said, 'Sire, he wasn't even in the room.' I think we need to find out exactly what he meant by that. Because if Ennis _didn't_ do it, then whoever did could try again."

Arthur hated it when Gwaine was right.

* * *

Arthur and Gwaine entered the dungeons. Ennis sat in his cell, his back against the wall. He had his head in his hands. His blonde hair was dirty and disheveled.

He scrambled to his feet when he heard them come in. His green eyes were full of panic. "Sire, I -"

Arthur held up a hand, cutting the servant off. "I want you to tell me exactly what happened yesterday. Every detail, Ennis."

The man nodded. Then he told the king what had happened. Arthur paced as he listened.

Ennis had arrived on time that morning, because he didn't _hate_ Merlin. Not anymore. But he also didn't want to make the king angry enough to extend his punishment - he still didn't really trust magic and did not enjoy being surrounded by it all day.

He and Dera had spent the morning cleaning while Merlin read one of his many magic books. The sorcerer was always reading, it seemed. And then, near lunch, he had rubbed his eyes and put the book in his library. He'd obviously been tired - he'd been like that every day, though.

Merlin had asked Dera to bring him several more candles from the castle's storeroom - he'd been using a lot of candles. Ennis assumed it was because he was staying up late every night to read. Merlin had told her to take the rest of the day off, once she'd brought the candles back. Though if anyone asked, she was supposed to claim that she was running errands for the sorcerer.

Then Merlin had asked Ennis to bring him some lunch from the kitchens, something simple. He'd given Ennis the same dismissal.

So he willingly got the food and took it back to Merlin's rooms, only Merlin wasn't in there. He waited for a few minutes, then placed the plate and goblet on the table and went to his home. A little more than an hour later, Sir Gwaine had come and arrested him.

Arthur stopped pacing, his ears picking out two very important words. If Ennis had truly done it, there should have been three words. He looked sharply at the servant. "Plate and goblet?" Ennis hadn't mentioned a bowl at all. Gaius had said that there was no trace of the poison on the plate or the goblet.

Only the bowl of blueberries.

Ennis seemed a little confused. "Yes, sire."

"What did the lunch include? What kinds of food?"

"It was simple, as he'd requested. Bread, cheese, chicken. And a bit of wine."

"Nothing else? No fruit or vegetables or berries of any kind?"

Ennis frowned, shaking his head. "No. Wait." Arthur tensed as the servant thought. "There were a few small tomatoes."

"You're certain there was nothing else?"

The servant nodded. "I'm certain."

The king sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. This entire situation was a disaster. He believed Ennis, though. It had seemed odd that the servant would poison Merlin, and then stay in Camelot. Not only in Camelot, but in his own home. A guilty man would run, especially when it would be obvious that all the evidence would point to them.

Which meant that someone else had realized who the evidence would point to, and was hoping that Ennis would be blamed for their crime.

"Was anyone else in the room? When you brought the food in?"

"No. Dera had already put the candles on the bedside table and left. The room was completely empty."

Arthur cursed. "Someone else put the poisoned blueberries there. And we have no idea who."

The real culprit was hoping that Ennis would be executed for the crime. If Arthur released Ennis, the true culprit might disappear into the night. Perhaps Arthur could use Ennis to draw the would-be murderer out. He looked back at the servant. He only hoped the servant would be willing to go along with it.

* * *

 **Okay, so I realized earlier than I never put any kind of descriptions in here for Ennis or Dera. Sorry about that. I'll try to add more descriptions of them, as well as any other OCs I might add.**

 **Again, thank you all for the support. Like I said, it doesn't bother me if someone doesn't like one of my characters. But I am glad that so many of you like Kerenza. That particular review just felt like someone lashing out because I didn't put Merlin and Mithian together, which is the wrong reason to dislike another character. But I felt like I had solid reasons for not letting that ship sail, which I explained through Gwen.**

 **To one of the guest reviews: Yes, the poison was similar to aconite. I thought about using it, but it didn't quite fit my needs. It was close, though.**

 **And to NerdGirlAlert: Bravo. You took the words right out of his mouth. And don't worry, I'm not taking any of it to heart. That was the only bad review against Kerenza, so I don't feel the need to modify her in any way.**

 **She might need more of a backstory, though...I just have to figure out how to integrate it properly. Anyway, enjoy! I love getting the reviews from you guys (even the ones with suggestions - in fact, those are some of my favorites). If you have a thought, throw it out there. I'll at least consider it. I may not use it, but I'll consider it.**


	22. Twenty-One: Gone

**I've been on a roll this weekend. Yay for you! Sorry it's a little shorter than usual.**

* * *

TWENTY-ONE: GONE (290 days)

Kerenza looked up as the door opened again, and Mordred and Percival entered. She and the queen had been keeping each other company at Emrys's bedside for several hours, and several people had come and gone in that time.

Dera had offered to do the rounds for Kerenza that morning, once she'd seen that there was nothing she could do to help Emrys himself. The druid girl had agreed, and was more than grateful for the offer. Dera knew the other residents of the castle, so she had been confident that she wouldn't have any problems with the rounds. Sir Elyan and Sir Leon had checked in briefly. Sir Gwaine had come in, to check on Emrys and to speak to Gaius about where a person could purchase the poison that had been used. He and Gaius left together after that. Neither of them had returned yet.

The two knights nodded at the queen. "Has there been any change?" Mordred asked quietly. He was always quiet, Kerenza had noticed.

She shook her head. "Not really. But he does seem to be getting better. I think. His symptoms are becoming less noticeable."

"Any idea how long it will take him to heal himself?" Percival questioned.

The druid girl shook her head. She wished she had better answers to give them, but she just didn't. "He's extremely powerful, but a healing spell like this is very complicated. I wouldn't be surprised if it took him at least two days. That's just an estimate, though. I really have no idea."

The large knight sighed. "I don't like waiting."

"None of us do," the queen told him wryly. "Have either of you seen Arthur today? I'm surprised he hasn't come here to see Merlin."

Mordred nodded. "He went with Gwaine to speak to Ennis again this morning. They think that Ennis might not have been the one responsible, so they're looking into it."

Guinevere nodded. Kerenza had thought that Gwaine's conversation with her new mentor was a little odd, considering they had the culprit in the dungeons already. But if Ennis _hadn't_ done it, then someone else had. It made sense that they would be investigating.

Percival clenched his fists, which was quite intimidating. The action made the tendons and veins on his bare arms bulge. Kerenza would not want him angry with her. He could snap her like a twig, if he chose to. From what she'd seen of him, she doubted he would do anything like that. But that knowledge didn't make his giant muscles any less intimidating. "Whoever did this will suffer."

Nobody argued with him. They were probably all wishing harm on whoever had poisoned the Court Sorcerer.

A somewhat awkward silence filled the air. Kerenza wanted something to do with her hands, but she didn't know what. She and the queen had already eaten their lunch, so there was no reason for her to cook. She was sure the knights would have eaten already.

Maybe she should go for a walk, speak with Ma for a bit. It would probably be a good idea to clear her -

The door to the Court Physician's chambers opened yet again.

This time, it was a village woman in a simple green dress. A dark green headscarf covered most of her raven hair, though a few curls had escaped near her ears. Her face, even with a smile on it, had a serene look to it. Her eyes were nearly the same shade of blue as her son's - because this could only be Hunith, if the horror on Queen Guinevere's face was anything to go by.

Hunith seemed to notice the queen first, and her smile slipped into a frown. She obviously hadn't expected to see the Queen of Camelot in the Court Physician's chambers.

Then her eyes fell on Emrys, and she gasped. The bag she'd been holding hit the floor with a thud. "Merlin!" she cried. She rushed forward, her arms outstretched.

Kerenza stepped between her and the bed, gripping her arms to keep her from being thrown backwards. "I'm sorry, but it's probably better if you keep your distance. His magic hasn't been letting anyone touch him."

With tears in her eyes, Hunith firmly pulled away. "I'm his mother," she said simply. Slowly, carefully, she reached toward Emrys's face. Her hand passed through the magical barrier as though it didn't exist. She cupped his cheek in her palm. "My son. What has happened to you?" The despair in her voice was obvious, and nearly broke Kerenza's heart.

Guinevere got to her feet and moved to stand beside the older woman. She gulped before saying, "He was poisoned. Arthur is working to find out who did it."

"Poisoned?"

"I'm so sorry, Hunith. Even though we've made magic legal, it seems that there are still those who hate it and fear it. He will be fine, though. He's healing."

"Why did no one send word to me?"

"It just happened yesterday," the queen explained. "You were already on your way. There was no guarantee that a messenger would pass you on the roads. And we thought it would be easier to hear in person, rather than through a letter."

Hunith moved her hand to grip Emrys's tightly. She used her free hand to cover her mouth as she began crying softly. Percival and Mordred, looking as awkward as Kerenza felt, quickly left the room, with a promise to return later to see how he was doing.

Kerenza wished there was something she could do, some way she could help. But so far, Hunith was the only one that his magic had allowed in. Every time she had tried to touch him - physically or magically - she was pushed back.

Sighing, she began making her way toward the door. She couldn't do anything to help, so she may as well give the woman a bit of privacy with her son. "I think I'll take a walk," she muttered.

The queen nodded, even as she gently guided Hunith to sit in the chair.

Kerenza stopped moving when she heard an exclamation of pain. She turned around. Emrys's back was arched, every muscle in his body tensed. Sweat beaded on his forehead. His magic barrier wavered, then disappeared altogether when he collapsed limply back on the bed.

Hunith's hands flew over him. "He's not breathing," she gasped. "He's gone. My boy's gone."

Kerenza ran forward.

* * *

Arthur sat at his desk, frustrated. He hoped that Gwaine and Gaius were having more luck than he'd had so far. All morning, he'd been trying to discover where Merlin had gone while Ennis was getting his food. Arthur hoped that would give him a clue as to who could have poisoned his Court Sorcerer. He had a feeling that Merlin might have been lured out, giving the would-be murderer a chance to leave the poisoned blueberries behind. Unfortunately, he hadn't learned anything. Nobody that he had spoken to had seen Merlin.

A knock on his door interrupted his thoughts - not that his thoughts had been getting him anywhere. "Enter," he called. A moment later, Gwaine and Gaius were walking in. They didn't look particularly happy. "Were you able to find anything useful?"

The old man sighed. "There's only two men in Camelot who sell Demon's Curse. Only one of them has had anyone purchase it in the last month, and that purchase was made just the day before yesterday."

"Was this seller able to describe the person who bought it?" That buyer had to be the one who had tried to kill Merlin. The timing was too coincidental to be anything else.

Gwaine shook his head. "The description wasn't as helpful as we'd hoped. The buyer was male - his deep voice and tall stature revealed that. But he wore a cloth over the majority of his face, and a low hood over his head. The only thing the seller could see were his eyes, and it was too dark for him to be able to make out exactly what color they were. Whoever bought the poison was careful to keep his identity a secret."

Arthur swore. That wasn't what he'd wanted to hear, though it was basically what he'd been expecting.

Gwaine continued to speak. "Not as careful as he should have been, though. The seller noticed that the man's clothes were high quality. He was also wearing an emerald ring on one hand. The man who bought the poison was no lowly servant, that much is certain."

The king frowned.

"The cost of the poison is beyond what a servant could earn in even three months," Gaius told him. "It's very expensive. For a servant to have purchased it would have required several months of advanced planning and saving. It is not something that somewhat with a limited income could simply buy in a whim."

Arthur's frown deepened. "You think a noble did this?"

Neither of them answered, but that in and of itself was an answer to Arthur.

* * *

Emrys _was_ breathing, Kerenza realized it as soon as she held her hand against his lips. His breaths were shallow, but they were there.

"He's breathing," she announced. "He's alive."

Hunith sobbed in relief, leaning back in her chair. Guinevere clasped her shoulders gently, offering comfort.

Kerenza took this chance to use her magic to look Emrys over. She leaned over him, sending out her magic. The more she examined, the more amazed she became.

After several minutes, she straightened, a smile pulling at her lips. She stared down at this man. He didn't _look_ like the most powerful sorcerer to walk the earth, with his goofy ears and pale skin and ridiculous cheekbones. But he was. He most certainly was. "I don't believe it."

"What is it?" the queen asked.

"He's healed himself already. The poison…it's completely gone. And as far as I can tell, he's healed all of the damage it did to him. I hadn't expected him to do it so quickly." He had managed to do it all in the span of about a day.

Amazing.

"Why hasn't he woken, then?" Hunith wanted to know, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Kerenza sighed. "He's used a lot of magic recently. Now, he's just resting and regaining the energy that he used. But he'll be fine." She shared a smile with the queen. "He's past the worst of it."

* * *

He clenched his fist before slamming it into the stone wall. He didn't feel the pain in his anger, though he knew it would be bruised by morning. "He's been cured," he growled to his companion.

"How? You were assured that the poison had no antidote, weren't you?"

He scowled. "He used his _magic_ to heal himself, apparently."

"Does the king still believe Ennis did it?"

He smirked. The plan might have failed, but at least no one knew who was truly behind it. They would have to come up with a different way to get rid of the insufferable _sorcerer_. "The servant is still in the dungeons, awaiting his trial for the attempted murder of the Court Sorcerer. The king has no idea it was us."

* * *

 **To RainbowUnicorn: I was wondering what "don't bond on it" meant. Lol. Stupid autocorrect, right? And thanks! I don't plan on abandoning it.**

 **To Annie O: Don't be sorry! It's okay that you don't like her. It sounds like it's just her personality that you don't like, right? Like I said, you can dislike my characters all you want. Just tell me why, which is exactly what you did (I can see why you'd think she was annoying). If it's because I haven't written the character well, then I want to fix that. The other person simply said that she was a terrible character, which doesn't help either the author or the reader. I don't know if they thought she was terrible because of her personality, or because I wasn't doing a good job of writing about her.**

 **I hope I didn't give anyone a heart attack, with where I put the first page break, even if it was only temporary. I probably had more fun with that than I should have.**


	23. Twenty-Two: Justice

TWENTY-TWO: JUSTICE (289 days)

Arthur entered the small room, Mordred right behind him - the young knight had been in Gaius's chambers, sitting with Merlin, who was still asleep, when the king had found him. Mordred told him that according to Gaius, the sorcerer had woken in the middle of the night, just long enough to eat soup, drink water, and complain about not needing to be confined to bed. Then he'd fallen unconscious again, still weak from his excessive use of magic to heal himself.

Leon, Percival, Elyan, and Gwaine were already there, leaning against various shelves.

Gwaine arched an eyebrow at the king. "Is there a reason you've asked us to meet you in a linen closet, _again_?" They were, of course, in the same linen closet that they'd met in just before setting out to rescue Merlin from Morgana.

"I don't want this conversation being overheard. Beyond you five, I'm not sure who I can trust at the moment. That's why I placed the guards outside Gaius's chambers." Once he'd learned that Merlin's magical barrier was no longer in place, he'd immediately assigned two guards to stand duty outside the physician's quarters. Until he knew who was behind the attack, he wasn't taking any chances. He hadn't been too worried about his friend's safety while his magic was protecting him. Without that barrier, he was vulnerable.

"So you still don't know who exactly did it," Gwaine stated.

The king shook his head, sighing. "No. I believe that you're right, though. It must be a noble. I worry that it's someone on my council." He had a very strong suspicion of just who exactly on his council it was, in fact. But he didn't want to overlook anyone. "I want to focus my investigation on those who voted against having a Court Sorcerer, as well as those who abstained from voting at all."

"Are we doing this in secret?" Leon questioned.

Again, the king shook his head. "I'm going to have the rooms of every noble in this castle searched, for any evidence linking them to the crime. But I want each of you to head up the searches of particular nobles, beginning with those who I feel may be the biggest threats." He'd spent all of the previous afternoon and evening narrowing down the suspects as much as he could.

The three who had objected to having a Court Sorcerer were his biggest concern. They seemed the mostly likely to try to kill the Court Sorcerer, in his mind.

"Percival, I want you with Sir Brennis."

Gwaine coughed. "Are you sure that's the best idea, princess? He hates Percival. Percival broke his wrist in an arm-wrestling match at the tavern."

Arthur smirked slightly. "I know. He not only hates him, but he fears him as well. Sir Brennis is the one I trust the least at the moment. He's been the most vocal against Merlin. Leon, you'll be with Sir Geraint. Gwaine, Sir Caridoc. Elyan, Sir Nyle. Mordred, Sir Roderick. The last three who abstained I'm not particularly worried about. Sir Vidor isn't clever enough to do something like this. And Sir Cador and Sir Tiernan are…"

"Filthy drunks," Gwaine said in disgust.

Percival rolled his eyes. "That's rich, coming from you."

"I can hold my liquor," he defended. "I can function just fine even when I'm drunk. I'm almost always drunk, but you don't know it half the time. Those two are useless after one pint."

"Incidentally, they were both in the tavern when Merlin was poisoned. Unless they can be in two places at once, it wasn't either of them. While you are helping with the searches, I'll go see Merlin again." He'd only had a chance to check on him quickly, when he'd gone in search of Mordred. The sorcerer had been asleep.

Arthur hoped he would be awake this time. It would be nice to see for himself that Merlin was all right and fully healed of the poison. But he was also hoping that Merlin would have some information on who might have tried to kill him.

* * *

Merlin woke up slowly. His body felt heavy, far heavier than it should have felt. His exhaustion was bone-deep. He tried to pull himself into a sitting position, but he was still too weak. He had used an insane amount of magic to heal himself, and his body had clearly not recovered yet.

He flopped back on the cot, looking around him. Gaius was standing over a table, mixing up one of his tonics or draughts. He hadn't seemed to heard Merlin moving about, but that wasn't too surprising. His hearing was getting worse. His mother was asleep in the chair beside his bed - he had a vague memory of her being there the first time he woke. He didn't know when she'd arrived. Kerenza was asleep on one of the benches, which could not have been comfortable.

Merlin's stomach rumbled, reminding him that the only thing he'd eaten recently had been a bowl of soup. He didn't know how long he'd been unconscious and without food before that.

Kerenza gave a sudden, very loud, snore. Merlin laughed softly at the sound, which of course had woken his mother. Gaius looked in his direction, but continued his work. It was obvious that he was relieved to see him awake, though.

His mother caressed his cheek. He couldn't help but lean into the touch slightly. "How are you feeling?" she asked quietly.

"I'm all right," he whispered, his voice a bit hoarse from disuse. "Just tired."

"You gave us quite a scare." She just stared at him. Finally, when he didn't think he could take the silence any longer, she asked, "Who is the girl? She hasn't left since I got here."

"Kerenza. She's a druid."

"Gaius told me that she's his assistant. I know that can't be right, though, because you're his assistant. When you're not working for Arthur, that is."

Merlin felt himself blush. He wasn't sure just how much she knew about the recent changes in Camelot - her tone wasn't giving anything away. He hadn't told her that magic was legal again, or that he'd been appointed as the Court Sorcerer. He didn't know if anyone else had told her. "Um…"

He was more than grateful when the door opened and Arthur walked in. He was keeping his hands behind his back for some reason. He tried - and obviously failed - to suppress a smile when he saw Merlin awake.

"Ah, Merlin. It's about time you woke up, you lazy man," he said loudly, startling Kerenza awake. But there was no malice in his voice, only relief. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

Merlin shrugged. He tried again, and this time he was able to pull himself into a sitting position. "I feel great."

His mother gave him a _look_.

Gaius snorted, shaking his head.

Kerenza rolled her eyes as she sat up.

Arthur narrowed his own eyes. "Great? After everything you've been through? I don't believe that for an instant, so please don't lie to me. Have you eaten yet?"

At the mention of eating, Merlin's stomach growled again. Loudly.

Arthur smirked, pulling his hands out from behind his back, revealing a fresh chunk of bread. "I thought so." He held the bread out to Merlin.

With his mouth watering, Merlin took it. The warlock restrained himself from simply stuffing the entire thing into his mouth - just barely. He would only make himself sick if he ate it too quickly. He started eating it slowly, as Arthur pulled a stool beside Merlin's mother and sat. He greeted her, then looked back at Merlin.

"I'm glad to see you alive and well, my friend. But I do need to ask you something."

Merlin sighed, swallowing before he spoke. He knew that Arthur would be asking questions. "I'm sorry, but I don't know how I got poison in my system." He knew that he'd been poisoned - he'd realized it just as he'd fallen unconscious in the corridor. But he couldn't think of how.

"Blueberries," the king stated. "The blueberries you ate with your lunch were poisoned with Demon's Curse."

Merlin's eyes widened. Now that he thought about it, though, those blueberries had tasted strange. "Who -"

"We're working on that. Where did you go while Ennis was getting your food?"

Merlin shook his head, knowing what the king was thinking. Of course that would be the conclusion that Arthur would jump to. "I don't think that Ennis would -"

Arthur held up a hand, cutting him off. "I know. I know that Ennis didn't do it. Where did you go?"

Merlin frowned, thinking back. He continued to eat as he thought. "I was speaking with Sir Geraint," he mumbled, feeling drowsy again, now that his stomach was somewhat satisfied.

The king's brow furrowed. "Why in the world were you speaking to him?"

Merlin understood his confusion. Sir Geraint hated magic, and had never wanted a Court Sorcerer. Since he had been appointed as such, Merlin had made it a point to avoid the knight - and his friend Sir Brennis, who hated magic just as much - as much as he possibly could. "He came by my chambers right after Ennis left, and asked if I would walk with him for a while. I agreed…" Merlin's voice trailed off in a yawn. He closed his eyes. He was too tired to keep them open and talk at the same. His words were punctuated with yawns as he continued.

"I knew something was off. He wasn't talking about anything…important. He...babbled. He was probably just…distracting me while…someone else placed the…poison. My guess is…Sir Brennis…" Merlin was on the verge of falling asleep again, but he heard the door creak open and then close with a snap.

"Where is she going?" his mother asked.

"I don't - damnit. Kerenza!" A stool scraped the floor, and then someone was hurrying toward the door. Arthur. It had to be Arthur. He was the only who'd answered.

"Arthur," Merlin called sleepily, unable to help himself. Cheekily, he said, "I told you they wanted to kill me."

The king groaned. "Not now, Merlin." And then he was gone, and Merlin was asleep.

* * *

"Kerenza!" she heard Arthur call, as she turned a corner. His footsteps quickened, and he managed to catch up to her in a matter of seconds. He gripped her arms, pulling her to a halt. "Kerenza, stop."

"Where are they?" she practically growled. She didn't look at him. She kept her gaze straight ahead, her anger bubbling under her skin.

"Where are who?" he asked.

"Sir Brennis and Sir Geraint."

"Why?"

"So I can kill them. Since they're you're precious _nobles_ , it's not like _you're_ going to do it," she snapped. So many royals seemed to believe that other nobles were above the law, and she wanted to make sure that these two got what they deserved. Even then, she did regret the words as soon as they were out of her mouth. She knew that King Arthur wasn't like most other members of royalty.

Arthur stepped in front of her. She'd never seen him so angry. "You do not get to speak to me that way. They may have been born into nobility, but they will not be allowed to get away with attempted murder. I would hope that you knew by now that I'm a fair king, and I try my best to treat everyone equally, regardless of their station in life. They will be punished appropriately for this crime, as would _anyone_ who committed it. But they will not be punished by _you_. You have no legal right to do so. As king, that is my responsibility, and you will leave it to me. Do you understand?"

He released her, and Kerenza slumped against the wall, her eyes full of unshed tears. She wanted to kick herself for allowing her emotions to take over. She should know better, she really should. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "That was…I was out of line."

"You were," he said bluntly. "You are going to make an excellent Court Physician someday, but you have to learn to control yourself a little better if wish to remain a member of my staff, especially if you want to be a future council member."

She nodded, sighing. He was right, of course. And she'd told herself, when she came here, that she was going to work on controlling her impulses better. She'd been doing pretty good, until he had to go and get poisoned. "I know, I know. I just -"

"You care about him," he finished for her. "We all do. What I don't understand is why you're reacting so strongly now. You didn't get this upset when we thought Ennis had been the one to poison him."

She wrapped her arms around her torso, not wanting to explain herself. She didn't even know if she would be able to explain herself properly, not when she didn't really understand her own reasons.

The king nodded. "You love him," he stated, as though it was obvious.

She felt heat rush to her face. She was sure it was cherry red. "No," she said, and it was the truth. For now, at least. "I…don't know exactly what I feel for him. I certainly care for him, and in a way that I never expected to. But I wouldn't call it love. Maybe at some point, but not yet. I really haven't known him for very long. It was just extremely difficult to see him lying there, wavering between life and death when I couldn't do anything to help him. To know how close he was to being gone from this world. That thought alone was devastating, for some reason. And the _pain_ he was in…And then to realize that someone did that to him on _purpose_ , because they thought he was evil? It only takes about fifteen minutes of talking to him to realize that he is entirely incapable of being evil."

The king chuckled, leaning against the wall. "For the most part, Merlin is an open book."

Kerenza grinned slightly, nodding in agreement. She had found him to be quite easy to read. She was amazed that nobody had known about his magic for so many years. He was a terrible liar. She glanced up at Arthur, biting her lip. "You won't tell him? About my…feelings for him? For now, I just want to be his friend. Maybe nothing more will come of it."

The king winced theatrically. "I don't know. I really enjoy tormenting him, and this is golden material."

She chuckled. After watching all of his interactions with his best friend, she had started to get a good sense of when he was teasing. She was sure he wouldn't say anything. Not anytime soon, at any rate. "Thank you," she said.

Arthur clasped her shoulders, looking directly into her eyes. "And I swear to you, Kerenza, that Brennis and Geraint _will_ be brought to justice," he promised, and she believed him. She could see the silent fury in his eyes.

* * *

 **I don't remember the show ever saying exactly who was on Arthur's council. I'm going with the people who sit at the Round Table during the major meetings. Which, surprisingly, were pretty much just knights. Granted, most of the knights** _ **are**_ **nobles, but still. That was a heck of a lot of knights for a council. Of course, Gaius was there. In my story, Geoffrey of Monmouth is also on the council. So, his council is made up of Arthur, Merlin (most recent addition), Gaius, Geoffrey, Guinevere, and twenty-three knights. It's probably not entirely canon, but that's what I'm going with.**

 **Also, the knight's names were either ones mentioned somewhere (if only briefly) in the show or on the wikia page, or they were from the original Arthurian legend, or I just made them up. Honestly, I can't really remember which ones were which. Sir Brennis was actually mentioned in the show, though.**

 **To guest: The use of the name Emrys by Kerenza will be addressed at some point, and probably pretty soon. It's a transition for her.**

 **To mersan123: Thanks for the idea about the guards! Can't believe I hadn't thought of it myself** **…**

 **To dmcmeel412: Shh! Don't help others figure it out!**

 **To KIMMIKY: Valid points, which will be addressed in the future. As her mother's said, Kerenza can be civilized when she chooses to be, she just rarely chooses to be. That may be something that she works on in the future. She is trying to work on it, though she's obviously not always successful.**

 **To mizzymel: You went on a reading binge, didn't you? I'm so glad that you're liking it. You can ship whoever you want, just don't get mad at me if the ship sinks** **…** **And you're right; Kerenza, as she is now, is not quite right for Merlin. If he does end up with her, she'll have some maturing to do before it happens. I still have to get their friendship solidified before I even attempt romance! That got sidetracked by Merlin getting poisoned. If it seems natural for them to go from friends to more, I'll do it. If not, I won't. I'm just going to see what happens.**

 **And just so everyone is aware, I had originally planned for this fic to be over by now. I hadn't anticipated it being this many chapters long! But I feel like there needs to be some more character development with some of them before I end things, so there may be many more chapters ahead. I know how I want to end it, but I don't know how much stuff I'll have between now and then. If it ever starts to feel like it's dragging, please let me know. Right now, I'm just kind of taking it one chapter at a time. Which is weird for me. Usually, I have about half of the story written, and the rest outlined, before I post anything. Not this time! Not really sure if that's a good or bad thing** **…** **But that's how it is.**

 **Again, this was a long AN, but I did leave it to the end this time** **…**


	24. Twenty-Three: Potential

TWENTY-THREE: POTENTIAL (289 days)

Merlin awoke to the sound of his mother's soft voice. He sat up, his throat dry. He could only see two people in the chambers - his mother and Gwaine. They hadn't seemed to notice him yet.

"Did he really?" the knight asked, laughing. "How old was he?"

She grinned slightly. "Five, the first time. He did it often until he was fourteen. He didn't like it when he got in trouble, so he often attempted to distract me."

Merlin narrowed his eyes. "What are you telling Gwaine about me, Mother?"

She gave him the same overly innocent expression that he always gave Arthur - of course he'd learned it from her. "Your friend was just asking me what you were like as a child."

Merlin groaned. "Mother! Please don't embarrass me." The knights teased him enough as it was.

Gwaine sent him a smirk, which was not reassuring in any way at all. "It's probably too late for that," his friend said.

"What did she tell you?"

Gwaine's smirk just got bigger. Wonderful. Merlin would never hear the end of it, and he still didn't know what exactly his mother had told the other man. Merlin flopped back onto the cot.

"He was very curious about what it was like to raise such a powerful…sorcerer," his mother said, hesitating before saying the word. For so many years, they'd both worked so hard to keep that secret. They both tried not to use the words _sorcerer_ or _magic_.

He glanced at his mother. She obviously knew that Gwaine knew about his magic. Which probably meant that she knew everything he'd chosen not to tell her. "So you know about…" he trailed off.

She nodded. "I know that magic is legal in Camelot again. I know that your friends know about your magic. I know that you are now the Court Sorcerer. What I don't know is why I didn't learn any of this from _you_ , Merlin. I learned it from a letter the king and queen sent me, inviting me to the upcoming celebrations. They had assumed that I already knew about magic being legal again. They assumed that my son would be excited to tell me."

He winced slightly. He hadn't even considered the possibility of Arthur and Gwen wanting to invite his mother to the celebrations. He knew that he should have been the one to do it. He should have traveled to Ealdor and told his mother in person. But he hadn't, and in choosing not to do so, he'd hurt her mother. He hadn't meant to, of course, but that hadn't stopped it from happening. "I'm sorry. I just…There's been a lot going on. It still feels so surreal."

Gwaine clapped his hands before the following silence could get awkward. "Well, Gaius said that you should get up and walk around, once you've had something to eat and drink." Grinning recklessly, he picked up a jug of wine from a nearby table. He'd obviously brought it with him.

Merlin rolled his eyes at his friend's antics. "He meant _water_ , and you know it."

The knight's grin didn't falter, even for an instant. He just shrugged. "Water, wine, what's the difference? Besides, we need to toast your return to health, my friend. Water isn't suitable for toasts."

Merlin just shook his head. "I don't need any wine right now. Speaking of my health, what has happened with Brennis and Geraint?" he asked.

Gwaine's grin did falter then. His eyes narrowed and he pursed his lips. "They've both been arrested, and Ennis has been released. The searches revealed a half-empty vial of poison in Brennis's chambers. Once Geraint learned that, he told Arthur everything. He claimed Brennis was the one who thought of everything. He had purchased the poison, and he had placed the poisoned blueberries with the rest of your lunch. Geraint was, supposedly, just an accomplice. His only part was to distract you while Brennis placed the poison. The trial will be tomorrow morning."

"I'll need to be there, won't I?" Merlin asked.

Gwaine shrugged. "Possibly. Geraint has already confessed to everything. Brennis is refusing to speak, but the evidence is pretty damning. You might not need to be there."

Merlin had a feeling that Arthur would want him there, though. He would want him to tell the rest of the council what he had told the king. Of course, the final decision would come from Arthur himself.

Hunith, while Gwaine spoke, had picked up a pitcher of water and filled a cup. Merlin took it gladly when she offered it to him. The water felt good as it slid down his dry throat, and it didn't take long for him to finish it off.

He set the empty cup down and swung his legs out of the bed. He had had enough of lying down. He was still a little tired from his spell-casting, but he felt almost back to normal.

His mother put her hand on his shoulder firmly, keeping him from standing up. "Eat first," she commanded, handing him a plate with bread, cheese, and fresh strawberries.

At least it wasn't blueberries. He didn't think he'd be able to stomach blueberries again for quite a while.

The warlock shook his head. He didn't take the plate. "I'll just eat the bread while I walk."

She didn't say anything. She just gave him a look she had perfected over the years of raising him. It was a face that he couldn't argue with, and he always lost against if he chose to try.

With a sigh, he took the plate from her hands and began eating, as he'd been told. He knew that it wouldn't do him any good at all to try to convince her that just the bread would be enough for now. "All of it, Merlin," she warned.

"Yes, Mother."

Gwaine was staring at her, his jaw slightly open. "How did you do that?" he asked.

"Do what?"

"He actually…listened to you. He never listens to anyone."

Merlin scowled. "I listen," he protested.

Gwaine snorted. "All right," he conceded. "You might _listen_ , but then you go and choose not to do whatever it was that you were told to do. Or, you do exactly what you were told _not_ to do. You never take orders. Hunith, what is your secret?"

"It's just something that mothers learn to do with their children."

He scoffed. "Not _my_ mother."

Merlin quickly finished off his cheese and strawberries. Holding the bread, he stood up. He was a bit unsteady, but he didn't fall. He didn't even need Gwaine's stabilizing hand on his arm, though that didn't stop the knight from providing it.

His mother bit her lip, watching him with worry in her eyes. "Maybe you should lie back down," she said.

He shook his head, resolutely looking away from her face. He was worried that she'd look at him with that expression again, and then he'd end up staying in bed for several more hours. He really needed to get up and move around. And he needed to pee.

"I need to stretch my legs, Mother. If I have to rest in bed later, I think I would rather do it in my _own_ bed." His bed was extremely comfortable, and he was finding himself missing it. It hadn't taken him very long at all to get used to such a luxurious bed.

Gwaine shook his head. "Merlin, your chambers are at the other end of the castle."

The sorcerer rolled his eyes. "Don't exaggerate. They're not _that_ far."

"Even so, that walk might be just a bit too far right now."

Merlin took a bite of his bread and stubbornly began walking toward the door. His steps were wobbly, but he was more than able to stay upright.

Sighing in defeat, his mother and friend followed after him. "You'll like my new rooms," he told Hunith. "They're quite nice. As long as nobody has destroyed them in my absence."

Gwaine grinned. "Dera has been keeping them cleaned for you."

Merlin nodded, pleased with that information. It was apparent that Dera no longer viewed him as an evil man. Her punishment was officially over, so it was nice to know that she was still willing to serve him, even though he had no intention of having any servants for himself. There was no need to make them do things that he could with a wave of his hand.

* * *

Kerenza was laying on her back on the bed in her mother's temporary room. She stared at the ceiling, while her mother sat in a chair, tinkering with a charmed necklace she was constructing. Her mother had always been talented at protective charms - she wove the spells into the designs as she created them. It was an intricate process that Kerenza hadn't mastered. Her mother was planning to demonstrate and then sell many of them at this upcoming festival of Arthur's. "Do you think I made the right choice, Ma?" she asked. "Coming to Camelot, becoming Gaius's apprentice…"

She felt her mother's gaze on her. "It doesn't matter what I think, my little bean." She cringed at the pet name. She'd always hated it. Well, she didn't mind that her mother called her that. She just didn't like it when her mother called her that around others. She was just glad that her mother hadn't used it in front of the knights or King Arthur or, even worse, Merlin. "What do _you_ think?"

The druid girl groaned. "Ma," she whined. "Don't be cryptic. I want your advice, not questions."

"That _is_ my advice. It's your life, Kerenza. You have to be happy with the choices that you make. It doesn't matter if I'm happy with what you're doing with your life. It really only matters if you're happy with what you're doing with your life. Do _you_ think you made the right choice?"

She rolled onto her stomach so she would be able to look at her mother. She hugged the pillow under her torso. "What do you see in my future?"

Treasa gave her daughter a slight smirk. It wasn't the first time she'd ever asked her that question, and it certainly wouldn't be the last, even though the answer would never change. "You know that I won't tell you."

She made a face. "Ma, just a hint. A tiny hint, that's all I'm asking."

"Kerenza."

She sighed. Her mother always refused to tell her anything about any visions she had regarding her future, unless her life was in danger. She claimed that she wasn't going to influence her daughter's decisions in any way. It annoyed Kerenza to no end. She was fairly certain that her mother enjoyed taunting her sometimes by giving her cryptic hints about her future.

"I just worry that I'm…not the right person for the position," she admitted. She and her mother didn't always see eye-to-eye, but they respected each other and loved each other. She knew that she could tell her mother anything. Well, nearly everything. But she was the first person that Kerenza always turned to when she needed advice. "I don't understand why King Arthur offered it to me, to be honest."

"You're very skilled with healing," her mother said, returning her attention to the necklace on the table in front of her. "I'm sure he could see that."

She snorted, not entirely convinced. "There are others who are more skilled."

"You have potential, Kerenza."

"But I'm still impulsive. I…I overreacted this morning, Ma." Of course, she'd told her mother about her confrontation with the king that morning. She'd gone straight to Treasa after Arthur had left. "I know that I was out of line. I was going to kill those two knights, I really was. I was so _angry_ , and I didn't even stop to think about my actions. If I'm going to keep reacting like that, how can I be a productive member of the king's court? How can I be a productive resident of Camelot if I can't control myself?"

Treasa arched an eyebrow in her direction. " _Are_ you going to keep reacting like that?"

"No! Well, I hope not. But that's exactly what I told myself when I decided to come to Camelot in the first place. I'm doing a very poor job of it so far."

"You are trying, though. Kerenza, I've never seen you make such an effort to act mature and to control yourself. I've been trying to get you to do it for years now, and you have always resisted. But I can see that you're trying. You're making an honest effort. Don't doubt yourself so much. You are a skilled healer. And you have the potential to be magnificent here. You, my stubborn daughter, can do anything that you put your mind to. If you want it enough, you'll do it. You were very confident in your decision when you first made it. Perhaps you just need to rediscover your reasoning for coming to Camelot and accepting King Arthur's offer."

So Kerenza thought about what had brought her to Camelot. She'd had more than just one reason, of course.

Growing up, she'd been told of the Once and Future King, and the powerful Emrys. In many ways, they had seemed like nothing more than myths. They were beings so fantastic that they couldn't possibly be real. That was what she had always though, anyway. As a youth, it had seemed impossible to her that these two great mean could be real.

And then she'd met them, and they were not only real, but they were regular people. She could see their greatness, but she could also see the small things that made them human. They intrigued her, so of course she wanted to learn more about them. She couldn't exactly do that from the forest.

She also wanted to see magic return to Camelot. She wanted to be there to watch the people discover the joy of magic once again. For too long, they'd only known the evils of magic. She wanted to see the light in their eyes when they saw flowers bloom in an instant, or balls of light being juggled, or a broken toy mended, or an injury healed.

She wanted to see the transition as the people of Camelot moved from fearing magic to loving it. She wanted to witness that transition firsthand. And maybe even help with the process. If she could make even one person learn not to fear magic, it would all be worth it.

And most of all, she wanted to help others. She had never really considered pursuing a career - druid society functioned a little differently than that of a city or kingdom, with responsibilities often shifting among the people - in the healing arts, not until Arthur had mentioned it to her. She did enjoy performing healing spells, though. Being able to knit bones and muscle and skin back together was fascinating to her.

Now, though, the job appealed to her, and not because the position would give her a seat on the council. She didn't care one way or the other about being a member of the council. But the job appealed to her because she wanted to do good with her magic. She wanted to save lives. Every druid knew the basics of healing. They didn't need her skills in the druid camp. She could be useful here in Camelot.

A slow smile pulled at her lips.

She felt like she could belong here. She could be happy here.

She would prove to King Arthur that she was worthy of the opportunity he'd given her. She would learn to bite her tongue when she needed to. She would learn when it was appropriate to voice her opinion, and when it wasn't. She knew it would take time, and she would probably slip up on occasion, but she would be better about giving in to her impulses.

And she was going to make a damn fine Court Physician someday.

Someday.

* * *

 **To mersan123: Arthur wasn't discussing his** _ **own**_ **feelings, so that makes all the difference. ;)**

 **To MugglebornWitchofLothlorien: Whew. Quite a username. No, he wasn't poisoned again. Just recuperating from the large amount of magic he used. Thanks for the lovely reviews!**

 **To NerdGirlAlert: I'm very honored that mine was the first you chose to read. That gives me warm fuzzies in my heart! Thanks so much.**

 **I both liked and disliked this chapter. I felt it was time to explore Kerenza a bit more, get inside her head a bit. Oh, and in case anyone else was confused, Kerenza could potentially become a council member because she's Gaius's official apprentice. Gaius is on the council because he's the Court Physician, so if she becomes the Court Physician after him, then she'll be a council member as well (this point came up in a PM, so I figured I'd clarify here, too).**

 **And Kerenza hasn't realized that she's calling him Merlin, instead of Emrys, in her own mind. She'll realize it eventually. I just wanted you guys to know that it wasn't a typo or anything.**


	25. Twenty-Four: Interfering

TWENTY-FOUR: INTERFERING (288 days)

Arthur glanced briefly at his best friend. Merlin's expression was entirely unreadable, which was unnerving in and of itself. Even more unnerving was the fact that the sorcerer hadn't said a single word throughout the trial. Arthur hadn't needed him to say anything; the evidence that had been found was enough for the king. But he had been expecting his friend to say something.

Surprisingly, Kerenza hadn't said a word, either. He'd been worried about her, when he saw her follow Gaius into the room. But she was standing there, staring at the floor, her fists clenched tightly. He knew she was angry, but she had kept her mouth closed throughout the trial. He was actually quite impressed with her silence.

Merlin's silence, however, was more than a little disconcerting, considering the circumstances. Merlin was _never_ silent, and these two knights had tried to kill him. Arthur would have expected his friend to give some kind of response. He had expected him to be angry and to lash out in some way.

Arthur looked back at the two knights on their knees in front of him. Geraint had his head bowed, guilt stamped across his face. It wasn't guilt of his crime. It was guilt of having been caught for his crime. Brennis glared, keeping his mouth pursed tightly.

"This decision was not an easy one for me. You have both served on this council for many years, and I regret being put in a position where I have to decided whether or not to have you executed. But I…This crime cannot go unpunished. Murder is one of the highest crimes that can be committed. And so, with a heavy heart, I must sentence you both to death. You attempted to murder a fellow council member. The only reason you failed is because of Merlin's natural powers. I will not stand for council members trying to kill each other."

Geraint looked up at the king in fear. "Sire -"

"You will be executed in the morning," Arthur interrupted, struggling to keep his voice neutral. There was nothing left for anybody to say. The trial was over. He sank into his throne, signaling for the guards to take the prisoners back to their cells.

The throne room slowly began to empty, until there were only five people left.

Arthur sighed, scrubbing his face with one hand. Guinevere wrapped a soft hand around his free one. "You did what you had to, Arthur," she reminded him gently. "They gave you no choice."

He knew she was right. It didn't make it any easier. "I know. It still feels like such a waste. They're both wonderfully skilled knights. But they committed a crime that I can't overlook." He glanced to his right, where Merlin stood, staring off into the distance. He still hadn't said anything, and his face gave nothing away. Arthur wasn't used to not being able to read his friend's expressions. "Merlin. What are you thinking?"

The sorcerer looked at Arthur and sighed. "I'm thinking…that I shouldn't be glad about their fate. Yet I am," he admitted. And he almost sounded ashamed of that. "I can't find it in myself to mourn their loss, not after what they did. I'm just relieved that it's over."

The queen smiled at the sorcerer. "We are all relieved that it's over. It is so good to see you well again."

Merlin returned the smile. At least it was a genuine smile. "I feel normal again. My strength is back. I'm ready these celebrations in two days. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to do my part. But I feel fine now."

Arthur stared at him. "You're not serious."

The sorcerer frowned. "About what?"

"You are _not_ performing in the festival."

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course I am, Arthur."

The king shook his head. Why was Merlin always so…Well, Merlin? "No, you're not."

"Yes, I am. You asked me to, remember? Why wouldn't I?"

Arthur could hear Kerenza chuckling softly in the background. Gaius sighed loudly. And Guinevere was shaking her head. "Merlin, you just spent nearly two days unconscious. And then it took you yet another day for you to feel like yourself again. You don't need to be doing even _more_ magic right now."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "The only reason I was unconscious for so long is because I was performing extremely complicated and powerful magic. The spells I have planned for the celebrations are simple. They'll take hardly any magic at all, let alone energy."

"Merlin," the king said tiredly. "I don't want to see you like that ever again." The memory of his best friend lying prone on the cot…It was a sight he never wanted to see again.

"I know my limits, Arthur."

Guinevere cut in at that moment. "We know that, Merlin. But, please, for our sakes, will you consider not participating in the celebrations?"

The sorcerer sighed, sounding a little irritated. "Gwen, I promise that I will be fine. I won't overexert myself."

"Will you at least consider performing with someone else, then?" the queen questioned. "So you're not using as much of your own energy. Maybe if you're only performing half of the spells, instead of all of them, you can save some of your own strength."

Arthur grinned, even as Merlin shook his head. "That's really not -"

The king interrupted him. "No. I like it. You can do a…" he trailed off, trying to think of the right word. "…duet with another sorcerer."

Merlin stared at him. He almost looked disgusted. "A _duet_? Arthur, I'm performing magic. I'm not singing. I don't need any help."

"Please," Guinevere stated. She deliberately placed her hands over her belly. There was still no physical evidence of her pregnancy, but the few people remaining in the room were fully aware of her condition. "I'm not sure that my body can handle the stress of worrying about you. I believe you were the one who told me that I needed to lessen my stress as much as I possibly can."

Merlin narrowed his eyes at the queen. Arthur stared at her as well. She had been quite manipulative recently. He wondered if it was simply because she was with child.

"That was underhanded, Gwen," the sorcerer informed her. She just gave him an innocent smile. He sighed. "Fine. I'll do my performance with someone else. Did you have someone in particular in mind, sire?" he questioned Arthur, his voice teetering toward sarcastic.

"Me?" Arthur asked, surprised. "I don't know any sorcerers. Well, hardly any sorcerers. Besides, most of the ones that I know are already participating. Wait. Kerenza," he called, a wonderful idea coming to him.

The druid girl looked at him, obviously surprised to be pulled into the conversation. "Yes?"

"You weren't planning anything for the festival, were you?"

"No, sire."

He grinned. "Excellent. You can help Merlin with his performance."

Guinevere gave him a look. "Arthur," she warned. "You promised."

Merlin looked between the two monarchs, confusion in his eyes. He, of course, had no knowledge of their conversations about his love life - and Arthur's promise not to interfere with it. "Promised what?"

"I'm not interfering," Arthur insisted, ignoring Merlin like he often did. "I'm simply providing an opportunity. It's up to them what they do with it."

They were attracted to each other, as had been pointed out to Arthur before. Kerenza had admitted as much to him earlier. And they were already becoming great friends. Arthur wasn't trying to push them into a courtship. He was just giving them a chance to…explore their attraction. Perhaps their friendship would turn into a courtship. Guinevere seemed to think that it would. She was convinced that the two of them would eventually fall in love. Arthur was just giving them the time together for that to be a possibility. Guinevere had been right when she said that Mithian and Merlin weren't quite right for each other. Kerenza...could be. He wasn't sure about how compatible the two magic-users were, but maybe they just needed a chance to find out if they _could_ work together, one way or the other.

His wife sighed. "You can call it whatever you like, Arthur, it amounts to the same thing. You're interfering, and you know it."

"I'm confused," Merlin muttered.

Arthur grinned. He couldn't resist. "Aren't you always?"

The sorcerer sent a half-hearted glare his way. He couldn't deny that he had walked right into that one. "Prat."

"Idiot."

"Clotpole."

"Fool."

Merlin arched an eyebrow at him. "Is that really the best you can come up with?"

Arthur scowled. "Shut up, Merlin."

* * *

Merlin and Kerenza walked through the lower town together in silence. They were going out to the meadow where Merlin often met Kilgharrah in, to practice his - their - performance for the festival. The flaw in Arthur's plan to have someone help him, was that now he would have to practice all of those spells even more in order to get the routine right with someone else involved. But he'd found that he could very rarely argue with Arthur's skewed logic.

He wasn't entirely certain what his king was plotting, but he knew it was something. Most likely something stupid. The conversation between Arthur and Gwen had been...strange, to say the least. There was something that they weren't telling him.

"What sort of spells were you thinking of using?" Kerenza asked, as they left the town altogether.

He shrugged. "Mostly nature and elemental spells. Making shapes with flames and water, creating a mass of butterflies. Simple things like that."

Kerenza stared at him. " _Creating_ a mass of butterflies? As in, creating them out of nothing?" He nodded. "Merlin, creating a life, even one as small as a butterfly, is no simple magic. Let alone creating a mass of them. Nobody can _create_ a life. Only the gods and goddesses have that power."

He scratched the back of his neck, suddenly embarrassed. "I can. Only small animals, like butterflies, though. And for me, it is a simple magic." He looked at her sharply as something else she said sank in. "You called me Merlin." Since he had known her, she'd always called him by his druidic name, which had bothered him. This was the first time he'd heard her use his given name.

He liked the way she said it.

Her cheeks turned bright red. Why was she embarrassed by that? "I did, didn't I? I...hadn't even realized it. Do you prefer Emrys?"

"No! Absolutely not. I don't really like my friends calling me that. I don't even know what it means."

She kicked her feet in the grass as they walked. "You might not want to know what it means," she said softly.

He sighed. He had figured that she knew the meaning of it. He was sure most druids, if not all, did. "I know. It's why I haven't asked. I have a feeling that the meaning is going to be something I'd rather not hear. I think, at least for a little while longer, I'll be happy in my ignorance."

A smile pulled at her lips. "So what was all that back in the throne room? It was like the king and queen were speaking in some sort of code."

Merlin nodded in agreement. "I think they were. I just don't know what they were speaking about, though I get the feeling it was me. Actually, I get the feeling it was me _and_ you."

"Hmm," was all she said. But her eyes narrowed suspiciously. She had a guess as to what they were going on about, Merlin could see it in her eyes. But then she shook her head and grinned, just as they entered the meadow. "Show me what you want me to do. But just so you know, I can't conjure a whole flock of butterflies from thin air. I will leave _that_ part of it to you."

He grinned back at her. "I have an idea…"

* * *

 **Oh, Arthur. I'm not really sure why he's so obsessed with setting Merlin up...I'm not really meaning for him to do it. It just keeps creeping its way into the story.**


	26. Twenty-Five: My Fault

**Warning to anyone who may not like it: this chapter is basically just a ball of fluff** **…**

* * *

TWENTY-FIVE: MY FAULT (287 days)

Merlin stood across from Kerenza, once again in the meadow. They had decided to practice their routine one last time before the beginning of the festival the next day - not that they really needed the practice, as they'd spent most of the previous day perfecting the routine.

But Merlin hadn't wanted to witness the execution. He just wanted to forget about his most recent near-death experience. So he'd dragged Kerenza out here. She'd been more than willing to join him. She said it was because she wanted to avoid any more awkward encounters with visiting royalty, and he couldn't really blame her for that.

Queen Annis had arrived the evening before, just as Merlin and Kerenza had returned from the meadow. She had laughed when she'd learned exactly who Camelot's Court Sorcerer was - Arthur hadn't been specific in his invitations, apparently. "I should have known," she'd said.

Annis hadn't been very impressed with the Court Physician's new apprentice, however. She had mistaken her for a...Well, a prostitute. Kerenza had been extremely embarrassed by that mistake, which was probably why she was actually wearing a dress today. A proper dress, one that fell to her ankles and had a slightly higher neckline than she usually wore.

All of a sudden, Merlin felt water fall on his head, dripping down his hair and into his face, pulling him out of his thoughts. Slowly, he turned to face the druid girl. She didn't even bother to hide her smirk. "Did you…just dump water on me?" Of course he knew it had been her. There was no one else around who could have done it, and her smirk…

"Obviously. You were distracted," she said, in her own defense. "What are you thinking about? I called your name several times and you didn't hear me."

With a small sigh, he sank to the ground and crossed his legs. "Queen Annis," he admitted.

Kerenza scowled, flopping onto the ground beside him. She laid on her back, covering her face with one arm. Her cheeks were slightly pink. "She doesn't like me."

"I don't think that's it. She's just…a difficult woman to please."

He regretted the words as soon as he saw her smirk - a smirk very similar to the one Gwaine was famous for, right before he said something entirely inappropriate. She propped herself up on her elbows and arched an eyebrow in his direction. Her blush deepened ever so slightly, yet her small embarrassment didn't stop her from saying, "Difficult to please? So you have personal experience trying to… _please_ her, do you?"

"That -" he broke off, his own face burning. Damn. He hated that he blushed so easily sometimes. "That is not what I meant at all, and you know it. If it makes you feel any better, she's never been very impressed with me, either."

"Did she mistake you for a prostitute, too?"

"No…" he said slowly. "A fool."

She chuckled slightly, then gave him a serious look. "Why wouldn't she be impressed with _you_? You're…powerful."

Sighing again, Merlin laid down and stretched out, crossing his legs at the ankles. "Other than the druids, not many people know just how powerful I am. And for many years, hardly anyone outside of the druids even knew that I had any power at all. Queen Annis has only seen me as a bumbling and idiotic servant."

"In that case, you'll just have to show her that there is more to you than that."

He shook his head. "You're not even going to _pretend_ to deny that I'm bumbling and idiotic?"

The grin she sent him was lopsided and caused his heart to do a strange flutter. "Merlin, I pride myself on being honest, even at the expense of the feelings of others. Sometimes, the truth hurts."

"You are almost as insufferable as Arthur."

She winced dramatically. "That was harsh."

"Sometimes, the truth hurts."

She chuckled, but didn't say anything else. They fell silent, not speaking for several minutes. Then, in a quiet voice, she asked, "Have you heard anything from Scathach? About Aithusa?"

Merlin shook his head. He was a little surprised that she remembered both of those names. He was fairly certain that she'd only heard them once or twice. "No." He'd expected the goddess to have contacted him by now. "I don't know if she's still healing Aithusa, or if she knows that the dragon enclosure isn't ready yet. Why are you asking?"

She shrugged. "I've never seen a dragon before," she said, her voice wistful. "I'm fascinated. I imagine that she's quite beautiful."

The warlock winced slightly at that. He wondered, not for the first time, what he could have done differently to prevent her beauty from being marred. "She was beautiful, when she first hatched." He smiled as he remembered calling her from her protective shell. "She was so small. Her scales are white, almost pearly. And her eyes were so full of wonder." His voice turned sad. The last time he'd seen her, there hadn't been a trace of that wonder left.

"What happened?" Kerenza whispered.

He clenched his fists. He remembered the tales of what had been done to the poor creature, the way that _man_ had bragged about what he'd done. No living being - not even Morgana - deserved that sort of torture. "The Sarrum," he growled. "She spent two years chained to the wall of a pit with Morgana."

She gasped, her hands covering her mouth. Her eyes began to moisten, and Merlin could see her horror and outrage on behalf of the dragon.

"She was still an infant. The pit was far too small to accommodate a growing dragon. The older she became, the bigger she became, the more deformed she became."

A few tears trickled down her cheeks. Merlin found himself wanting to wipe them away. He didn't, though. "That is horrifying. How could anyone do that to an _infant_?" She shook her head. "This Sarrum…What happened to him?"

"He's dead," Merlin answered flatly. "He tried to have Arthur killed. His assassin killed him instead." He didn't say that it was his interference that had caused the assassin to kill the Sarrum instead of Arthur, but he had a feeling that he didn't need to say it.

"Good," she replied fiercely. "A man like that doesn't deserve to live."

He silently agreed with her.

"Do you ever miss it?" she asked suddenly. "Being a servant? Not having anyone know about your magic?"

Merlin sighed. For such a simple question, the answer was actually quite complicated. "Yes and no. I hated lying to my friends about something that makes up so much of who I am. I hated having to sneak around to protect Arthur and Camelot. I hated that there were times that I couldn't protect him as well as I'd have liked, because I couldn't tell him what I knew or how I knew it.

"Now, it's so much easier to keep the prat safe. He puts more stock in my 'funny feelings' than he ever has before. I don't have to hide who I am anymore, or worry about how to conceal my magic and protect my king at the same time. But the _looks_ , Kerenza."

He shuddered. He wasn't worried about anyone trying to harm him again, not after the debacle with Sir Brennis and Sir Geraint. The looks were still disconcerting and hurtful. "I walk through the halls of the castle, or through the lower town, and I can see the fear and hatred directed at me. I knew that just changing the laws wouldn't change the opinions, but it still…hurts. I want the people to see the _good_ in magic."

"They will, in time. That's the whole point of this festival, isn't it?"

Merlin nodded, a small smile pulling at his lips. "That, and I suspect that Arthur is going to finally announce that Gwen's with child. I can't be certain, though, because he's actually writing his own speech this time instead of having me do it for him. Which, of course, means that the speech will be terrible." He would be relieved when the news was announced to the whole kingdom. There had been several close calls with the knights, where Merlin had almost revealed the king and queen's secret.

Kerenza grinned. "Ma told me that he is going to be quite a handsome prince when he comes of age. Not only handsome, but wise and strong. He will make his parents quite proud."

The sorcerer nodded. "Treasa said as much to me."

He fell quiet again, thinking of his own parents. His mother had told him several times that she was proud of him. She was glad to see him finally able to be himself without fear of execution. Would Balinor be proud of him as well? He wished he'd had the opportunity to get to know his father better.

He'd never told his mother that he'd met Balinor, not until he'd shown her the dragon enclosure being built and explained that he would soon be the guardian of a young dragon. She had demanded to know how in the world he expected to be able to properly care for a dragon. And so he'd told her that he'd inherited his father's gifts.

She'd been devastated - as he'd known she would be, hence his hesitation in telling her - to learn of Balinor's death. She had assumed that he'd died years earlier, after he'd left Ealdor, but she'd always hoped that he had survived. It had been difficult for her to realize that she would never have a chance to see her beloved again.

Kerenza must have been thinking along the same lines, because she whispered, "I sometimes wonder if my father would be proud of me."

Merlin glanced at her. He hesitated briefly, then asked, "He's dead, isn't he?"

She nodded, tears once again in her eyes. "He died when I was ten. He was murdered by Uther's men, when our camp was discovered and raided. It was my fault he died." She covered her face with both of her hands as she started crying softly.

Merlin froze, uncertain of what to do. It was probably completely inappropriate, as they were both still lying in the grass, but he reached out and gently pulled her close to him. He just held her. "Kerenza, he was killed by soldiers. That is not your fault," he said gently.

"It is, though. I had been told to hide, with the rest of the children. We'd had enough forewarning that we were able to get most of the women and children out of the camp and to safety. Druids are generally very peaceful, and don't often fight. But the men of our camp weren't left with many options. The soldiers were upon them before the men could escape the camp as well. And I…I was arrogant." Her voice was watery. The tears were flowing freely down her cheeks. Merlin just kept holding her, wanting to provide as much comfort as he could.

"I felt that I could help, that I could use my magic to protect my home. I was a ten-year-old girl. I didn't stand a chance against seasoned soldiers, even with my magic. One of the men, he had cornered me. He was about to kill me, but Pa killed him instead. And then…Pa had hugged me, making sure I was all right. He wasn't paying attention to the fighting going on around him. I felt him fall, Merlin. He had been shot with an arrow. It pierced his heart. It killed him instantly. If I hadn't been so stupid, he never would have been distracted enough to _be_ killed."

"I am so sorry, Kerenza." It had been difficult enough for him to lose his father right in front of him. But she had only been _ten_. He couldn't imagine the kind of nightmares that would come from that. "But it was not your fault. Uther was the one who sent the men. It _wasn't_ _your_ _fault_ ," he said fiercely, wrapping his arms tighter around her.

* * *

 **So, this chapter got away from me a bit. I hadn't intended for it to be so focused on Merlin/Kerenza, but that's what ended up happening. Their conversation just kept flowing and I decided to just go with it.**

 **I also belatedly realized that Trickler created butterflies in one of the episodes, but I like to think that maybe he just transported them from somewhere else instead of actually creating them out of thin air. Merlin should be the only sorcerer who can do something like that.**

 **To NerdGirlAlert: He is totally Merlin's wingman. And I'm kind of loving it, even though I really hadn't intended for him to get this ridiculous about it. And I love your idea of the "duet." I have something planned, kind of. It should be cool.**

 **To Guest: I'm really sorry to hear that the romance part is ruining the story for you. However, I'm happy with the direction I'm taking the story, romance included. But I should probably go in and change one of the tags, as it seems like it's going to be a bigger part of the story.**

 **To xxxLeanniexxx: Oh my gosh. That mental image** **…** **I nearly choked on my food as I read that. I love it.**

 **To anyone shipping Merlin/Kerenza** **…** **Any good ship names? I will admit that I liked the name that mizzymel came up with for Gwaine and Kerenza (even though that ship won't sail, not if Kerenza keeps developing the way I'm trying to get her to develop, Gwainza was a good name).**


	27. Twenty-Six: Gwaine's Fault

**So, last chapter was pretty fluffy, and this chapter is kind of ridiculous. Anyway...I couldn't get this scene out of my head, for some reason. So here it is.**

* * *

TWENTY-SIX: GWAINE'S FAULT (286 days)

Arthur walked through the busy marketplace with Guinevere, King Rodor, and Princess Mithian. The people of Camelot were rushing to make sure the festival would begin on time. Nemeth's embassy had arrived extremely early that morning, and once they'd had a chance to change their clothes, they had joined Arthur and his wife in overseeing the setup for the festival. So far, everything was going well.

Vendors of all kinds were sitting up booths, to sell their wares. Only about a half a dozen of them would be selling magical items, but it was a start. Arthur hoped to make it an annual event. As the years passed, he was sure more vendors would be willing to sell magical artifacts. He truly wanted this event to be a celebration of magic, and to showcase the wonderful things it was capable of doing.

Treasa was there, of course, displaying several intricate-looking necklaces. Kerenza was helping her, once again wearing a proper dress. It seemed that Queen Annis's remark about her appearance had had an impact on the druid girl.

Mithian sighed, pulling Arthur's attention away from the preparations going on around them. "I must admit, Arthur, that the idea of making magic legal again makes me nervous. You've seen the evil that magic can bring about."

He nodded. He knew, after everything that Morgana had put her through, that Mithian would have reservations about his recent law changes. But he also knew that she would listen to his reasoning for the changes. "I have. I have also seen the good it can bring about. I have realized that by outlawing magic, we only ensured that it was used exclusively by outlaws. We ensured that we were only seeing the evil in it, and not the good."

She studied him for several moments. Then she nodded. King Rodor remained silent as his daughter spoke. "We still have our reservations, but we trust that you know what you are doing, then."

"Yes." He was confident that he was doing the right thing. He knew that not all of the other kingdoms agreed with his law changes, but none of them had openly come out against him because of it. He felt like they were all waiting with bated breath to see if this change would destroy Camelot or not. Arthur was certain that Camelot would not fall because of this.

"And this Court Sorcerer of yours?" King Rodor asked. "Who is he?"

Arthur looked between the two members of royalty. "You don't know?"

Mithian gave him a reproachful look, which Guinevere caught and snickered at. "You know perfectly well that your invitation was purposefully vague in regards to his identity."

She, of course, had a point. He hadn't revealed the identity of his Court Sorcerer. He'd been very careful not to give any hints, either. He felt it was safer to reveal it in person. "I assumed you would have heard rumors."

"Yes, well, the rumors aren't exactly insightful. I've heard the name Emrys, but I spent enough time with Morgana to know that Emrys is not the sorcerer's true name. Who is he, really?"

Arthur grinned. "No, it is his true name," he insisted. "One of them, at any rate. It's what the druids call him."

The princess narrowed her eyes at him. "Who is he?"

Before either Arthur or Guinevere could respond, Merlin came rushing toward them. He stopped in front of Arthur, breathing a bit heavier than usual. "Arthur, we might have a bit of a problem," he panted. He didn't acknowledge any of the others. He probably didn't even see them.

The young king groaned. He hated hearing those words from his best friend. "What did you do this time?"

Merlin actually had the audacity to look indignant. "Me? Why do you always assume it's _my_ fault?"

"Because it always is."

"That is not true. I -"

"Merlin!" Arthur interrupted. "What is the problem?"

"Oh. Right. Uh, well. Princess Elena is…She's currently a donkey. It was Gwaine's fault!"

Silence.

Arthur tried to process what he'd just been told. Princess Elena - who had arrived the previous afternoon, with her father - was a donkey. Surely Merlin wasn't serious. This had to be a prank. Arthur was hoping that this was just an elaborate prank. "What?"

"Princess Elena is -"

"I heard what you said," Arthur growled, interrupting his idiotic friend. He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to stave off the headache he could feel building. His three companions looked horrified. "This isn't a prank, is it?"

"No. Of course not."

"How?"

"Um, well. You see, Gwaine has been obnoxious all morning, making stupid comments about…Never mind. What he was saying isn't important. He was being an ass, so I…I tried to turn him into one. He was practically daring me to use magic on him."

Out of the corner of his eye, Arthur saw Mithian's eyes widen.

"Only he moved just as I started to say the incantation. He must have realized that I had finally had enough," Merlin continued. "Elena turned the corner just then, and the spell hit her instead of Gwaine, so…Now she's a donkey."

Arthur sighed. He wanted to strangle the sorcerer. "So it _is_ your fault."

"It is not. I -"

"Merlin?" Mithian demanded. She and her father were gaping at the young sorcerer. "Merlin, you can…perform magic?"

Merlin looked at the princess, as though he had just noticed her presence. It was the first time he'd seen her since her arrival. Arthur hadn't been able to find the sorcerer in time to welcome the group. Merlin gave a swift, messy bow.

"Hello, Princess Mithian. Yes, I can perform magic."

"Are you carrying a pair of women's shoes?" she asked.

Arthur hadn't noticed it before, but Merlin was indeed holding a pair of women's shoes. He shouldn't have been surprised, with the number of times he caught the man stealing women's dresses, but he hadn't expected it.

Merlin barely glanced at the footwear in his right hand. "Yes. I am. I need them."

" _He's_ your Court Sorcerer?" the princess questioned, clearly questioning the young king's sanity in appointing Merlin as such. Arthur was questioning it himself at the moment.

Arthur nodded, looking back at Merlin. "Where is Princess Elena now? And why haven't you changed her back yet?"

Merlin scratched the back of his neck, wincing slightly. "I don't…know. She ran off, and now I can't find her."

"How hard is it to find a donkey inside the castle?"

"Arthur! If I could find her, do you really think I'd be asking you? Do you know where Kerenza is? I could use her help with a tracking spell."

Guinevere raised her eyebrows at him. "I would think that with as powerful as you are, you wouldn't need help."

Merlin huffed. "I have the power to do it. I just don't know many tracking spells very well. Kerenza already knows what she's doing. Besides, I thought you were worried about me using too much of my own strength. It's why you wanted me to do my performance with someone else."

Arthur grinned slightly. "You just want an excuse to spend more time with her."

The dark-haired man threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "Those are exactly the types of comments that led to this disaster to begin with. Please just tell me where she is, if you know."

"She's helping her mother set up her booth."

"Of course. I should have realized. She told me she was going to do that." Merlin turned and, once he'd located Treasa's booth, rushed toward it.

Arthur shook his head, frustrated. "It wouldn't be very appropriate for me to put a member of my own council in the stocks, would it?" he asked wistfully. At the moment, he would love nothing more than to lock his friend into the stocks for this ridiculousness.

Then again, it probably wouldn't do him any good, now that everyone knew he was a sorcerer. Merlin could just magic himself back out.

* * *

Kerenza entered the castle, walking beside Merlin. She held the princess's shoes, which she was using for the tracking spell - Elena had apparently been holding them in her hands when the spell hit her. Merlin had picked them up for her to use for the spell.

She had been chuckling since Merlin had explained the situation to her. It was just so…ridiculous. "I still can't believe you turned her into a _donkey_ ," she told him. "I happen to really like Elena. She's…interesting." She'd met her the day before, and she had felt an almost immediate connection with the quirky princess. She loved how Elena was so carefree and true to herself. And she disliked shoes just as much as Kerenza did.

"You should have seen her when she had a Sidhe trapped inside her." A small smile was pulling at his lips as he said it.

"A Sidhe?" Kerenza asked, just to make sure she had heard him correctly. He nodded. Thinking about the young woman she'd met, though, she really shouldn't have been surprised. "I guess it makes sense. She doesn't anymore, does she?"

"No. Gaius and I handled it. How close are we?"

She smirked at the anxious tone he was using. "We're close. Are you afraid that you're going to get into trouble for this?"

He snorted. "Of course I'm afraid that I'm going to get into trouble. Arthur will have me in the stocks for a week if I don't fix this." Kerenza had to laugh at his sullen expression, which Merlin didn't seem to appreciate very much. "It is not funny! You have never been in the stocks, so you don't understand just how annoying they are. I've managed to avoid them for several years now, and I'd like to _keep_ avoiding them."

She had to bite the inside of her cheek to stifle her laughter. Following the spell, she led Merlin around a corner, and they nearly collided with Sir Gwaine.

The knight looked between the two of them, a slow smirk pulling at his lips. He opened his mouth, presumably to make some comment about them. It seemed as though several of the knights - including King Arthur - were convinced that she and Merlin were…romantically involved with each other. The comments didn't bother her. She was used to ignoring teasing like that. But she was starting to think that maybe it was bothering Merlin.

Merlin muttered a word under his breath, she couldn't quite make out what it was. His eyes glowed golden, and when Gwaine tried to speak, no sound came out.

"This is all your fault, Gwaine. I really don't want to hear another one of your stupid comments. Kerenza, keep leading, please."

She wondered why it bothered Merlin so much, as they continued walking. Gwaine was one of his best friends. And sure, he might tease Merlin and Kerenza about their supposed love life - which didn't exist; they were just friends -, but Merlin had to know that it was all in good fun. Attempting to turn his friend into a donkey seemed a bit extreme for Merlin.

Merlin must have released the spell once he thought they were far enough away, because Gwaine's voice suddenly yelled after them, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

Merlin groaned. "There's nothing that man wouldn't do," he muttered.

Before she could respond, they found the princess. Merlin sighed in relief as he said the counterspell.

Princess Elena, back in her own form, smiled and rushed to hug each of them. "That was certainly interesting, but I'm glad I'm back. Are you two ready for the festival?" she asked. Without giving either of them a chance to reply, she looped her arms through theirs and started making her way through the castle.

* * *

 **I don't know if this chapter really moved the story along, either, but like I said, I couldn't get it out of my head.**

 **To NerdGirlAlert: It was a side of Kerenza that I totally wasn't expecting to show yet. But I'm glad that I did.**

 **To adela92: Yeah, that chapter really ended up being about character development more than anything else. But every story has to have some of that.**

 **To mersan123: I've always liked Annis. She's...formidable, and she doesn't take crap from anybody.**

 **To guest: Oh my gosh! Duh! I love the casual magic idea and I will be trying to incorporate it into the story in the future. Thanks. I can't believe I didn't think of that.**

 **To xxxLeanniexxx: I love the fact that Merlin is a big softy.**

 **I think I'm going with Merlenza. Thanks for all the suggestions! And Freya will be mentioned at some point, it just hasn't fit in well with any of the conversations so far.**


	28. Twenty-Seven: Breathtaking

**Finally, it's time for the festival. I hope it lives up to all of your expectations.**

* * *

TWENTY-SEVEN: BREATHTAKING (286 days)

Arthur helped Guinevere into a tall chair - a line of them had been placed in front of a large platform. Queen Annis, King Rodor, Princess Mithian, Lord Godwyn, and Princess Elena settled into their own chairs. Arthur's closest knights stood nearby, as well as Gaius and Hunith. The sorcerer's mother was looking proudly at her son, who stood near the platform, talking quietly with Kerenza. They were both dressed in somewhat formal clothes. Merlin wore black breeches, with a beige tunic over the top. Over that he wore a pale blue, open robe, belted at the waist. Kerenza wore a bright red gown, with only thin straps for sleeves. The material fit her form well, but wasn't so tight that it was distracting. A gold, swirled band rested on each of her upper arms. It was the first time Arthur had seen her wearing something so regal, and he had to admit that it suited her.

The young king glanced at Elena. "I must apologize, again, for that mishap this morning." He'd already apologized twice so far.

She gave him a reckless grin. "I've told you before, please, don't apologize. That was the most exciting thing that's happened to me in a while."

Godwyn shook his head, but he had an indulgent smile on his face.

Of all the people it could have happened to, Arthur was grateful it had been Elena. She had taken the brief transformation in stride. She had even enjoyed it! Arthur remembered his own experience with becoming - if only partially - a donkey. He had not enjoyed it one bit.

Fortunately, Godwyn hadn't been upset to find out that his daughter had been transformed into an animal for a few hours. He'd claimed that, as there had been no permanent damage, it wasn't worth the trouble to get upset over.

Arthur made his way onto the platform, clapping his best friend's shoulder along the way. He looked out over the bustling marketplace, and cleared his throat loudly. "People of Camelot!" he called, as loud as he could without actually yelling. Slowly, gazes turned in his direction. "I grew up, as many of you have, in a kingdom where most of the magic that I've been exposed to has been used for wicked ends, where many sorcerers have abused their power. My father once told me that to know one sorcerer was to know them all.

"He was wrong. A sorcerer is a human, and humans are different and unique from each other. I have known many evil sorcerers. I have also known some who are good. This week, we are going to have a chance to see the good that magic can do. We are going to see a side of magic that has too long been stifled and forced to hide in the shadows.

"And so, I present to you Kerenza, the Court Physician's apprentice, and Merlin Emrys, the Court Sorcerer. Together, they will mark the beginning of this festival with a demonstration of the beauty of magic."

With a gesture toward Merlin, Arthur stepped down from the platform and took his seat.

The two magic-users stepped onto the platform and faced one another. The crowd was silent, waiting. There was a slight tension in the air, reflecting the apprehension of his people. Arthur knew that the only way for them to move past their fear of sorcery was for them to witness it being used in a way that didn't bring about destruction.

Arthur himself was looking forward to the display. He wanted to see the good side of magic. For too long, he'd only seen the darkness in it.

Merlin and Kerenza grinned at each other, then raised their right arms slightly. They each spoke a different word in a strange language, but the golden glow that briefly lit their eyes was the same.

" _ **Wanfyr**_."

" _ **Waetercynn**_."

A flame, an unnatural shade of red, appeared just above the center of Merlin's palm. In the same instant, Kerenza's palm held a floating sphere of water. A murmur ran through the marketplace.

Another whispered phrase from both of them, another flash of gold in their eyes. " _ **Upastiye**_ _**draca**_." The elements they held took the shape of dragons, unfurling their small wings.

Arthur was speechless. The dragons were fairly small, a little smaller than the size of domestic cats, but surprisingly majestic. Sparks flew off of the fire-dragon, while droplets fell from the water-dragon. They stretched their necks, opening their maws, though no sound came out.

Merlin and Kerenza muttered, " _ **Frician**_ ," and the elemental-dragons took flight. They flew in circles around the pair on the platform, spinning and somersaulting in the air. Several times, they came close to touching, but always pulled away at the last moment. Arthur wondered what would happen if they connected. Would they destroy each other? After all, the two elements were opposites.

Merlin and Kerenza were twirling their hands, as though directing the creatures' movements. And then the elemental-dragons flew into the crowd, eliciting gasps as they soared over the heads of the people. They danced above the crowd.

Arthur felt himself smile. He could see the tension slowly easing from most of his subjects as they watched the dance of the two elemental-dragons through the air. It was a beautiful sight.

A young boy, no more than four years of age, was sitting on his father's shoulders. His face was one of pure enjoyment. It struck Arthur suddenly that his own son would grow up with the wonders of magic in his life. He could easily imagine himself in this father's place, holding his own child on his shoulders as magic swirled through the air. It was a vision that brought hot moisture to his eyes, though he refused to let the tears spill over. Not here. He blinked them away.

The boy reached out, just as the water-dragon passed him. The father began to reprimand the child, but the creature flew back to hover in front of the child's face. It opened its maw and blew a small stream of water onto the boy's cheek. The child laughed loudly and without abandon as the water-dragon continued its intricate flight. Arthur was certain, if he looked at Kerenza, he would see her grinning fondly. She obviously had a soft spot for children, to do that unplanned surprise. Beside Arthur, Guinevere practically crooned at the boy's reaction.

On the platform, Merlin and Kerenza clasped their right hands together, lifting them high in the air. The fire-dragon curled itself around Merlin's forearm, not quite touching his skin, as the water-dragon did the same with Kerenza's arm. The contrast - Merlin in blue with a red dragon, and Kerenza in red with a blue dragon - was breathtaking and obviously planned.

The dragons stretched their necks so their heads were above the clasped hands. They reached toward each other, causing the crowd to hold their breath.

Snout met snout.

A cloud of steam enveloped both dragons. In less than an instant, the cloud had vanished, taking the dragons with it. A collective sigh went through the people, mourning the loss of the enchanted creatures.

Merlin and Kerenza released their hands, each saying one last spell.

" _ **Blostma**_."

" _ **Ye-wican leef**_."

An explosion of color filled the air around the two magic-users. Arthur watched, entranced, as pale blue butterflies fluttered into the sky. Red, strange-looking flowers floated slowly to the floor of the platform.

Merlin and Kerenza stared at each other, smiling widely. Then they turned so they were side-by-side, and entwined their fingers together. They bent at the waist, bowing to the crowd. It would have been more appropriate for Kerenza to curtsy, but Arthur wasn't even sure if she knew how to curtsy. He hadn't seen her do it even once since he'd met her.

Cheers erupted. It was exactly the reaction that Arthur had been hoping for. He knew there would still be some people with reservations, and he didn't entirely blame them. But this display…this display had shown so much beauty, all as the result of magic.

Merlin had far exceeded the king's expectations - not that Arthur would ever tell _him_ that.

Arthur stood as Merlin and Kerenza left the platform, their hands still clasped. He moved to take their place. "My dear subjects, I hope that you were as moved by that demonstration as I was. Magic is to be celebrated. So, please, enjoy yourselves. Learn about the good things that magic can create. The druids who I've invited here are more than happy to share some of their knowledge. We will have another demonstration of magic tomorrow, and one every day of the festival. Let the celebrations begin!"

The bustling began again almost immediately. Arthur didn't move just yet. He looked out at the crowd, at his knights, at his physician, at his friend's mother, at his royal guests, at his wife, at his best friend.

His subjects were buzzing with conversation, several crowding around the booths of the druids. There was excitement and hope on the faces of many of them.

His knights mostly looked amazed. Mordred seemed especially happy at the display of magic. Percival was grinning widely. Gwaine's smirk was downright ridiculous. Leon and Elyan had their mouths open slightly, just staring at their friend.

Hunith had pride shining in her eyes. Arthur could only imagine how happy she was now that Merlin could finally be himself. And Gaius looked proud as well. Proud and fond. He had obviously come to think of Merlin as his own son. The affection he felt for the sorcerer was evident on his face.

Queen Annis actually looked impressed. He'd only seen that expression on her face once or twice in all the time he'd known her. Elena was practically bouncing with her excitement. Godwyn seemed pleasantly surprised. Mithian and Rodor both appeared stunned, though neither seemed to be angry or fearful.

Guinevere had a large smile on her lips. She looked amazingly happy.

And Merlin…Arthur had never seen his friend so content and happy. Grinning himself, he approached the sorcerer.

* * *

Merlin smiled as his king approached. He could feel Kerenza's hand still in his own and knew that he should pull away.

He didn't.

"Arthur. Those were very impressive speeches. I'll have to congratulate George when I see him," he teased.

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Merlin," he said, but the words had no bite to them.

"I thought you were going to announce the…" Merlin trailed off, nodding to Gwen to emphasize his meaning.

"I will on the last day of the festival. That was…" Arthur trailed off, seemingly at a loss for words. There was an odd look on his face, almost one of awe.

Merlin smirked. "Amazing?" he supplied.

Again, the king rolled his eyes. He sniffed once, shrugging a single shoulder. The look of awe disappeared, to be replaced with one of apathy. "Eh," he said, in an unimpressed tone. "It was all right."

Merlin just shook his head. "Is it actually physically painful for you to give an honest compliment? Are you that emotionally repressed?"

Arthur just shrugged again. He clapped Merlin's shoulder once before leaning in to whisper into his ear, "She has a flower stuck in her hair. Perhaps you should help her with that, hmm?" Then he walked away, toward the queen.

Merlin looked back at Kerenza - she was watching the crowd with a happy smile, not paying any attention to him. Sure enough, one of the red nerines that she'd summoned had gotten caught in her long strawberry-blonde hair. He wasn't surprised that she'd chosen such a unique-looking flower. _She_ was unique.

Even though his heart still occasionally ached for Freya, and the fact that they never had a chance to build a real relationship, he was finding himself more and more drawn to Kerenza. And the soft, caring look on her face as she'd had her conjured water-dragon interact with that young boy…It was yet another side of her that he wanted to get to know. He loved that small glimpse into her nurturing side. He had seen it briefly a few times before, when she was helping Gaius care for a patient. She was a loving person, beneath her fierceness.

Gently, slowly, he lifted the flower from her hair. She turned that bright smile in his direction. It nearly took his breath away, and…

And he wanted to kiss her.

* * *

She wanted to kiss him.

Something in the way he was looking at her, twirling a red flower in the hand that wasn't entwined with hers, made her want to pull his face down to hers and press their mouths together. She had kissed him before, but it had been a meaningless kiss.

She didn't want a meaningless kiss this time.

Before she could move, Merlin was letting go of her hand. He took one step closer to her and gently cupped her face between his palms. Then his lips were descending on hers.

* * *

 **Okay, I'm actually completely in love with how this chapter turned out. It went way better than I thought it would. I'd been worried that the whole magic show wouldn't be all that cool, but** **…** **I think I did a good job.**

 **Pretty much all of the spells that I used in this chapter did not come from the Merlin Wikia. I found an online English-Anglo Saxon translator (I believe most of the spells used on the show were in Old English), and used that. So take it with a grain of salt. It's probably not the best way to come up with spells, but that's what I'm going with. I'll still put the translations here, according to how I put the spells together. Forgive any inaccuracies. The translator isn't all that great. I'm doing my best.**

 **Wanfyr-lurid flame**

 **Waetercynn-water form**

 **Upastiye draca-dragon, rise**

 **Frician-to dance**

 **Blostma-flower**

 **Ye-wircan leef-to create a life (I have no idea what the plural could be, so I just left it as is)**

 **To NerdGirlAlert: I knew there was a reason I wanted to post that last chapter before my nightshift, instead of after! I'm so glad that it brightened your day. I couldn't imagine Elena being anything other than cool with it. And the "duet" wasn't an element battle, but your comment about a dance did totally inspire most of it. I had already planned to use fire and water, but you just sparked something better than what I'd originally been thinking. Thanks for that. I hope you like how it turned out.**

 **To thegirlwiththerainboweyes: Yes, always blame Gwaine.**

 **To SisterOfAnElvenWannabe: Yay! You're all caught up! I love that you've reviewed every chapter, one right after the other. My email was going crazy the other night! I kept getting these notifications that there was another review.**

 **To mersan123: Elena is amazing. And you're very welcome.**

 **To xxxLeanniexxx: The thing that I love about Merlin is that, despite being the most powerful sorcerer, he kind of _is_ an idiotic bumbling fool. And nothing will ever change that.**

 **To guest: Thank you. I'm glad that the chapter didn't seem to drag the story down. I had asked my mom (who loves the show as much as I do - it's the TV show that she's actually gotten obsessed about, which is strange because she never gets obsessed about stuff) if it was too ridiculous. She said, "It's no more ridiculous than anything else on that show." Merlin, as powerful as he is, definitely has his fumbles. And I do think it's good to show that occasionally.**

 **Thank you all for the lovely reviews. It seriously makes me so happy to see that you're all enjoying my work. I hope you all loved this chapter as much as I did!**


	29. Twenty-Eight: Come to Life

**The italicized part is a flashback.**

* * *

TWENTY-EIGHT: COME TO LIFE (282 days)

"Merlin!"

The sorcerer groaned, not wanting to be anywhere near the owner of that voice at the moment. For perhaps the hundredth time, he cursed himself for kissing Kerenza like that. Not that he regretted kissing her, because he absolutely did not - they'd kissed a few more times since the first day of the festival, though they were careful not to do it in front of anyone. He just regretted doing it in the middle of the marketplace, literally in front of every important person in his life.

The knights, as per their usual obnoxious selves, had been ruthless in their teasing since then. Gwaine was especially annoying, making lewd comments whenever he had the chance - he especially loved to make those comments when Merlin and Kerenza were together, which would always get a slight blush out of the two of them. After the first couple of times it happened, Kerenza started slinging lewd comments right back at the knight, which only served to encourage him.

And then there was Arthur. The king hadn't been teasing him nearly as much as Merlin had been expecting. He did seem genuinely happy for the sorcerer. But he was being insufferably smug, as though _he_ had orchestrated the entire thing!

Merlin's eyes widened as he skidded suddenly to a halt, forgetting the knight rushing to catch up to him. "That _prat_!" the sorcerer exclaimed, just as something solid collided with his back, pushing him onto his stomach on the castle floor. That was probably going to leave a bruise.

The warlock pulled himself up, glad that at least Gwaine hadn't fallen on top of him. The knight may not have been particularly large, but he was quite muscular, making him heavy.

"I've been looking all over for you. Where have you been?"

"Avoiding you." He'd tried to get to the festival taking a round-about route, in order to avoid Gwaine and any of the other knights that might be lurking in the castle.

"Oh, come on. There's no reason to avoid me."

Merlin snorted. "There is when you insist on making obscene comments about me and Kerenza every time you see us together. Yes, we're courting - at least, I think we are. But we are not…lovers. Please stop. Even if we were, our love life would be none of your business."

"Whoa. I never thought you would be such a romantic." Gwaine frowned, studying his friend's face. "I'm only teasing. You know that, right?"

Merlin sighed. "Yes, I know."

"You know, you usually don't mind teasing. Why is it different this time?" When Merlin didn't answer, Gwaine smiled. It was a genuine smile, not a teasing one. "You really care for her. Don't you?"

Merlin nodded. "I do. And I just don't want to...I don't want comments like that to destroy what we have, even if it's not much yet."

The knight laughed. "We are talking about the same Kerenza, aren't we? You've heard some of the things that she's said to me in return. She's almost as creative as I am." He held up his hands, before Merlin could protest-Kerenza didn't really seem to mind. She threw insults back at Gwaine without any problems. "But I can see that it's upsetting you. So, I'll try to back off. I can't make any promises because, well, it's me."

The sorcerer rolled his eyes, but he supposed that was the best he was going to get. Gwaine was crass, but he was a good friend. And Merlin did know that he only meant it in jest. It had just been getting overwhelming. He couldn't sit and sort through his own feelings with his friends always on his back. And he had no idea what Kerenza's thoughts were on the whole situation. "Thank you."

"I really was looking for you, and not to tease you. Today's magical performance is going to begin soon. Arthur was worried that you would miss it. He thinks it would look bad if the Court Sorcerer wasn't there. And Treasa was asking for your help with something."

Treasa.

Merlin blushed, even as he started following Gwaine out of the castle. Kerenza's mother had also witnessed that mortifying kiss - as well as his own mother. His blush deepened as he remembered the event.

* * *

 _Her breathtaking smile was directed at him. And when he looked into her green eyes, he saw his own desire reflected back at him. He didn't think; he simply acted. The world around him faded away, as he focused on only her. In this moment, she was the only thing that mattered._

 _He took one step closer, releasing her hand. In the next instant, he had cupped her face in his hands, tilting it slightly. This close, he could see tiny, barely visible, freckles spattered across her nose. Her lips parted ever so slightly, a subtle invitation. So he leaned down, and kissed her._

 _It began as a soft kiss, nothing more than a light touching of their lips. And Merlin was content with that, happy with it. He simply wanted to be connected to her in that simple way. He didn't need a fierce, passionate kiss._

 _But, unsurprisingly, Kerenza had other ideas._

 _She threw her arms around his neck, leaning up on the tips of her toes to push her mouth harshly against his. The kiss morphed into something much more raw than he had intended. He wasn't complaining, of course. He loved that she was willing to be bold. She never backed down from what she wanted._

 _A sudden, shrill laugh reminded him that not only were they not alone, they were in a very public place. He reluctantly pulled back, heat flooding his face. He dropped his hands from her face, to rest lightly on her waist. Her breathing, like his, was a little more rapid than usual._

 _Almost fearfully, Merlin flicked his gaze around, trying to be subtle about it as he searched out the faces of each of his friends. He hoped that his friends and family had been too preoccupied with the festival to notice him and Kerenza._

 _He winced at the smirks being sent in his direction from several different people. They had all seen it. Arthur, the knights, Gwen, the visiting royalty, Gaius, his mother, Kerenza's mother._

 _He would never hear the end of it._

* * *

"Merlin!" Gwaine's voice pulled him out of the memory. They had already left the castle, though Merlin had been too distracted by his own thoughts to pay much attention to his surroundings. Now Gwaine was staring at him, obviously trying to hide a smirk. "Is your head out of the clouds now?"

Merlin nodded, his face still hot. The blush was fading, though, as far as he could tell. He was extremely grateful for that.

"What did you mean earlier, when you said that you thought you and Kerenza were courting? Don't you know?"

"We…haven't exactly discussed it." Merlin and Kerenza had both been busy, and had had very few moments together. Certainly not enough to have a discussion of that kind. Merlin had also been somewhat avoiding that conversation, since he still hadn't been able to sort through his feelings yet. "I don't want to just assume."

The knight rolled his eyes. "I've seen you two lovebirds around each other. Trust me, you're courting."

"How would you know?" Merlin demanded. "Gwaine, have you ever actually _courted_ a woman yourself?"

Gwaine gave his rakish grin. "Me? Of course not. I prefer my dalliances to any respectable courtship. But I know women, Merlin. You two are courting."

Merlin sighed, choosing not to argue the point any further. It was something that he needed to discuss with Kerenza, anyway.

They remained silent as they joined the crowd in the marketplace. Gwaine was distracted almost immediately by a curvy blonde beauty, leaving Merlin to approach Treasa's booth on his own.

The druid woman smiled warmly at him. "Ah, Emrys. I need your help with a spell, if you're willing?"

He nodded. "Of course."

"Let's watch Arlen first, though. His performance should be quite amazing. And I really shouldn't miss it."

Merlin nodded again, turning to face the platform. He leaned lightly against one of the posts of her booth. An older druid man with dark red hair - Arlen, he supposed - was sitting on a three-legged stool, holding a…book?

Merlin's brows furrowed in confusion. "Why is he holding a book?" he asked, mostly to himself. Reading a spell from a book was not nearly as impressive as reciting one from memory. He would have thought that all of the performers would have their spells memorized. The ones who had performed so far had done so from memory.

A warm hand rested on his wrist. "Ooh, I should have guessed Uncle Arlen would tell a story," Kerenza said. She and Hunith - Merlin wasn't sure he wanted to know why Kerenza was walking around with his mother, the thought was too embarrassing - had joined him and Treasa. "The people will love this."

Merlin glanced down at her, even as Arlen opened his book. "Uncle?"

Treasa nodded, answering for her daughter. "Arlen and I are twins."

"Ma loves to remind him that she's older, if only by a few minutes. Merlin, his stories are amazing. I think you'll love it."

So he turned his attention back to the sorcerer. " _ **Scieppan min wordcwide**_ ," Arlen chanted, passing a hand over the book. The book was obviously a compilation of stories, as Arlen had it open to somewhere near the middle. Then he began reading.

Merlin felt his eyes widen. As the druid man spoke, shapes began to form around him, the story coming to life in a way that Merlin had never even imagined possible. Whatever Arlen read, the shapes did. And they looked so real. If Merlin hadn't known better, he would have sworn that the mermaid leaping out of the water was real - he would have sworn that the water itself was real.

But it was all just an illusion.

Kerenza sighed, leaning her head against Merlin's shoulder. "I've never been able to do that spell very well. My mind wanders too easily."

"It's…amazing."

"I'll teach you," she offered, "if you want."

"Absolutely." He fell silent then, continuing to watch Arlen weave a tale of the mermaid being separated from her lover, and transformed into a bird as a curse. The figures moved, enacting the tale of the cursed mermaid as she sought a cure. He never would have thought to use magic to bring a story to life like that before. The way that the shapes played out exactly what Arlen was reading was mesmerizing.

Merlin wasn't the only one entranced, either. The entire crowd watched, speechless, as the mermaid was reunited once more with her lover, and they swam off into the sunset, a happy ending.

Arlen closed the book, and the lifelike figures around him slowly dissolved. He stood and bowed deeply. Merlin clapped enthusiastically with the rest of the audience. That was definitely a spell that he wanted to master someday.

"It is so wonderful to see magic performed so freely in Camelot once again," his mother said.

The young sorcerer smiled at her. "It is." He hesitated before asking a question. It was one that he'd been considering for some time. "Mother, why don't you stay here, in Camelot? I'm sure Arthur would be happy to make permanent arrangements for you."

"Absolutely!" Arthur's voice agreed. Merlin turned to see Arthur and Queen Annis walking toward them. He hadn't seen Annis much since the first day of the festival. He'd been busy avoiding his friends, and answering questions from the people of Camelot about magic - they were quite curious, which was the kind of reaction that both Merlin and Arthur had been hoping for. Merlin had seen a few people looking at the platform in disgust as a performance was going, but that was the worst of it. "Hunith, we would love to have you. I hear that you have a way of making Merlin _actually_ do as he's told? Is it true, or is Gwaine telling me tall tales again?"

She smiled. "I'm his mother," she said, by way of explanation.

Merlin groaned. "Never mind, Mother. I couldn't ask you to leave Ealdor. I know how much you love it there."

Chuckling, she shook her head. She looked at Arthur. "I truly appreciate the offer, but Merlin is right. Ealdor is my home. I'm not ready to leave it. And I'm a farmer, King Arthur. I'm not meant for life in the city."

The sorcerer breathed a sigh of relief. He loved his mother dearly and would have certainly enjoyed having her live much closer. He didn't get to see her nearly as much as he would have liked. But he did not want Arthur to exploit the power Hunith had over her son.

And as soon as he and the king were alone, he was going to yell at him for - again - trying to marry him off.

Arthur sighed. "That's a shame. How are you enjoying the festival so far?"

Merlin's mother smiled once again. "I love it. Camelot is finally able to see what I've known all along: magic is a beautiful thing." She was looking directly at her son as she said, causing him to blush slightly. She was obviously meaning him when she said magic.

"Mother," he muttered.

"Yes, speaking of Merlin," Queen Annis said suddenly. She was watching the young warlock speculatively. "I'm rather curious. Did you learn magic before or after you came to Camelot? Either way, I am rather impressed that you had the gall to study it in the heart of a kingdom where it was illegal."

Merlin shrugged, trying not to appear too pleased at her rare praise - though he secretly was, of course. Not much impressed Annis. "Uh, actually, I hadn't done any studying before I arrived in Camelot. And even after I came here, I didn't study as much as most sorcerers would need to. I was born with magic, so there are some spells that I've never needed to study. I can do them on instinct."

Annis's eyebrows rose. "You were born with magic?"

Hunith chuckled. "Imagine my surprise when he opened his eyes for the first time, and they were gold! He was using his magic to rock his cradle. Not even a day old, and he was already bending the world to his whim," she said proudly.

Annis looked Merlin over again. And this time, she actually _looked_ impressed. "Huh," was all she said in response, though. Then she looked at Kerenza. "Well done, with your performance at the beginning of the festival. You are obviously quite skilled."

Kerenza inclined her head slightly. "Thank you, Your Majesty."

It fell silent.

When Merlin decided he couldn't stand the quiet anymore, he cleared his throat and looked at Treasa. "You said earlier you needed my help with a spell?"

"Yes. Come here. What I need you to do is…"

* * *

 **I'm not really sure how I feel about this chapter, to be honest. Maybe it's just because I absolutely loved the last chapter so much, and this one just doesn't feel as good. Oh, well. Let me know what you think.**

 **Scieppan min wordcwide-Shape my words**

 **To xxxLeanniexxx: The part with the little boy was a last minute addition. And I'd been wanting that kiss between them for a while, but it** _ **finally**_ **felt natural.**

 **To Juliana Brandagamba: You're very welcome.**

 **To hateme101: Did this chapter answer your question?**

 **To mersan123: Thanks! I think that, so far, _Breathtaking_ was officially my favorite chapter. It just flowed so well as I was writing it.**

 **To guest: Aw, thanks! That's the first time I've been told that my writing is magic. I know I'm not perfect, so that is a wonderful compliment and makes me extremely happy.**

 **To fortheloveofcamelot13: Thanks! And of course their banter is one of my favorite things to write.**

 **To littleflor1: It took me a bit to realize what moment you were talking about since Gwaine was barely in that chapter. Then I got it - the kiss! And then, because my heart sometimes goes missing, I almost did exactly what you told me not to. Almost. I hope the time jump between the two chapters didn't kill the moment for you. And I'm so glad that you're enjoying it - especially Kerenza. Even though she's becoming a main player in the story, I've tried really hard to keep her from taking over. And you are very welcome for writing. I'm glad that my obsession can at least be entertaining for others as well. :)**

 **To SisterOfAnElvenWannabe: That was exactly what I was hoping for. I had a smile on my face as I wrote it. And of course your reviews weren't annoying! Very loveable. Thanks for taking the time during your binge-reading to review each chapter. I wouldn't have had the patience to pause between them to review, so I appreciate it.**

 **To NirdGirlAlert: Yay! Glad you liked it. I love reading random ideas. They don't always provide inspiration, but sometimes they do. Feel free to keep giving them. I probably won't always use them, but I will always consider them. And even though she's my OC, I've been a little surprised with Kerenza's ability to keep herself in check lately. _I've_ been waiting several chapters for one of them to make a move.**

 **To shadowswihouthope: Pat on the back received, thank you.**


	30. Twenty-Nine: Prejudice

TWENTY-NINE: PREJUDICE (280 days)

Kerenza and Merlin walked aimlessly through the marketplace. The last druid performer - a young woman who had used her magic to rapidly and skillfully to create a beautiful tapestry for the castle - was just leaving the platform. Kerenza and Merlin were simply browsing through the booths. Neither of them had a particular destination in mind. They were enjoying one of the few spare moments they'd had all week.

"Kerenza. Are we…" Merlin trailed off almost as suddenly as he'd started the sentence. He seemed to be struggling with his words, so she waited patiently for him to decide what he wanted to say. Finally, he blurted, "Are we courting?"

She laughed. "What a silly question," she told him, because of _course_ they were courting. After the kisses they'd shared, and the flowers he'd brought her the day before, how could they _not_ be courting? Then she saw his face, and how serious it was. Her own smile faltered. "Oh. You're serious?"

He nodded.

"Why are you…Oh." A sudden, devastating thought hit her. "You don't want to court, do you?"

"No," he sighed.

She looked down at her feet, willing herself not to tear up. "I see."

"No! I mean, _yes_ ," Merlin rushed to say. He pulled them both to a stop, turning her to face him. He put his fingers on her chin and gently lifted her face. He was smiling. "I do want to court. I just wasn't sure if we were, even though Gwaine insisted that we were because he thinks he's an expert on women and relationships, so I had to ask you to be certain. Because I really think you're amazing, and beautiful, and - ngh!"

Kerenza leaned up and covered his mouth with hers, if only to silence him. When he started rambling, it could be difficult to get him to stop. She pulled away, just slightly. She let her lips hover near his, not quite touching, as she whispered, "Merlin. Shut up."

"That's Arthur's line," he muttered.

Groaning, she stepped away from him. "Merlin, do you know when you should _not_ mention your best friend, the king? When I'm kissing you. It's not the least bit romantic." She began walking again, lacing her fingers through his. "And for your information, I had already been under the impression that we were courting. It seemed quite obvious to me, as well as Ma. She is over the moon about it, about us. You're the first boy that she's approved of."

Merlin scratched the back of his neck and admitted, "Well, you're the first girl that my mother's known about."

She arched an eyebrow at him. "Oh, really?" she asked, in a devious voice. She knew that he hadn't meant it in the way it had sounded, but she had to tease him. Sometimes, he simply made it too easy.

"Kerenza! Not like that!"

She just laughed, enjoying the heat that was filling his cheeks. "I know, I know. What _did_ you mean, then?"

"Well, in Ealdor, I was the outcast. Nobody - except Will - knew about my magic. But they all knew there was something different about me. Girls weren't interested in me. Then I moved to Camelot, and became Arthur's servant. I never had time for girls. And then there was Freya." He stopped talking suddenly, looking worried.

"You loved her," she stated. Was he worried she would be jealous?

He glanced down at her. "Does that bother you?"

She shrugged. "Not really. You're human, Merlin. As powerful as you are, you're still _human_. Humans full in love, sometimes more than once. It's a natural part of life. What happened, if you don't mind me asking?"

"She died." His voice was sad, but not quite as sad as she might have expected it to be. "She was cursed, to turn into a dreadful beast at night. Arthur killed her one of those nights, while she was in the form of the beast. He didn't know that I was going to leave everything for her. He still doesn't know. I told him, just recently, that I was the one who freed her and hid her. But I didn't tell him my feelings for her."

He stared at the sky, and a cloud above them began to change shape. It took the form of a ferocious-looking feline, with bat-like wings. The brief golden glow in his eyes told Kerenza that Merlin was the one forming the shape, in memory of the girl he had lost. "A Bastet," she whispered. She'd heard of the curse, of course, but she had never known anyone who suffered from it.

He nodded. "She had been cursed because she defended herself. I did love her, but not as much as I once thought I did. In hindsight, I hardly knew anything about her. I think the hardest part of losing her was the idea of what _could_ have been. We could have been very happy together."

"I'm sorry, Merlin."

He shrugged. "It happened years ago, before Arthur became king. I've had plenty of time to accept the loss. And she's not entirely gone. She's bound to the Lake of Avalon now, as the Lady of the Lake. I used to visit the lake every few days, to try to talk to her."

"What did she say?"

His grin was sad. "Nothing. Most of the time, anyway. I was ignored for several months. Then she appeared and told me, 'Have peace, Merlin. Let go of the past.' And that was all that she said. My visits became less frequent until I stopped going altogether. It was for the best. I was pining, when I shouldn't have been."

Kerenza didn't say anything. She simply leaned into his side as they walked.

"Arthur believes we should thank him," Merlin said suddenly, after several minutes of comfortable silence. "He's convinced that, without him, we wouldn't be together."

"He can be very arrogant sometimes."

Merlin snorted in agreement. "I told him he's an arrogant prat and to stop meddling in my love life. He then had the audacity to tell me he hadn't been meddling."

She rolled her eyes. "If he wasn't meddling, then we have nothing to thank him for."

"Precisely! His logic is so skewed sometimes. I told him that as well, but he was insistent that it was because of him that we are now romantically involved with each other, despite the fact that he supposedly wasn't meddling." He rolled his eyes in obvious irritation. Kerenza knew, though, that he still loved Arthur. They may not have shared any blood, but the king and his sorcerer were as close as any brothers.

"You know this means we have to get revenge. We can't let him think that his meddling is acceptable."

"We shouldn't."

"When has that ever stopped you?" she asked. She'd watched him give the king a hard time, on several occasions. Merlin had no qualms about tormenting King Arthur.

"What were you thinking?" he questioned, giving in.

She smiled at the thought of how they could annoy the king, without really doing much. It was so simple, it was brilliant. "Well, since he seems intent on seeing us happy together, I say we show him just _how_ happy we are together. Sickeningly happy."

He grinned. "Finally, someone who is willing to help me torment Arthur. Not even the knights are that bold."

"It should be fun."

"We should keep it subtle until after the festival is officially over, though," he said thoughtfully.

She glanced up at him. "Today is the last day, Merlin."

"Yes, but your mother and the other druids aren't leaving until tomorrow. Not to mention everyone else isn't leaving until the day after tomorrow. We should wait a few days."

"Good point. I'm not sure that Ma would approve of my antics."

Merlin laughed at that. "I doubt my mother would approve, either. Let's wait a few days to start any mischief."

She sighed dramatically. "If you insist. But I suppose you have a point. We shouldn't be quite so intense immediately. Let's make it a gradual thing."

"You two look positively devious," a voice said behind them. Merlin and Kerenza both turned. Princess Mithian had joined them. She was smiling. "What are you plotting against Arthur this time, Merlin?"

Kerenza studied the princess curiously. She was beautiful, with ivory skin and rosy lips. Her brown hair had been pulled partially back, with a small gold crown nestled in it. Her brown eyes sparkled. "What makes you think he's plotting against Arthur?" she asked.

"He's always plotting against Arthur. Mostly out of fun, but sometimes he does it for Arthur's benefit. Sometimes, his plotting ensures that the right people are in the right places in Arthur's life. But regardless of the reason behind it, he's always plotting."

Merlin looked a bit sheepish at that comment, and Kerenza felt there was a story to go with it. She would have to ask him about it later.

Mithian gestured to the marketplace around them, where the people of Camelot were interacting peacefully with the druids. Most of the people, at any rate. One woman, walking with her pre-adolescent daughter, was looking on in disgust. But she was one of very few. "This festival has opened the eyes of many, my own included, to the true nature of magic. My father has already told Arthur, but I wanted to inform you as well. Merlin, Camelot will have the full support of Nemeth in this. We support the welcome of magic."

Merlin's face broke into one of the biggest smiles Kerenza had ever seen. She was sure her own smile was almost as large.

"And Kerenza?"

"Yes, Your Highness?"

With a small, slightly mischievous smile, she pointed at Merlin. "Watch out for this one. He can be rather sneaky." Her smile became a little more serious. "But also take care of him. I consider Merlin a friend. He can always be counted on to help those in need, but he sometimes forgets to take care of himself."

Kerenza inclined her head. She'd already seen Merlin's selflessness. He would risk his own safety in a heartbeat if it meant saving those he cared about. He wouldn't hesitate. "I will, Your Highness."

"Please, just Mithian. I hope that I can consider you a friend as well?"

Kerenza smiled. "I would be honored, Mithian."

* * *

Arthur stepped onto the platform. The last performer had finished nearly an hour earlier, but he hadn't quite been ready to bring the celebrations to a close. He was glad that the festival had been a success. He felt that Camelot would truly prosper from the return of magic. And he had the full support of Annis, Godwyn, and Rodor. He was also glad of the chance to form an alliance with the druids.

He cleared his throat, drawing attention to himself. He waited until the marketplace was quiet before he spoke. "As the celebrations wind down, I hope that we can all reflect on the wonderful things we've seen this week. I understand that there will always be some who will abuse magic. With any kind of power or authority, there are always some who will abuse it. And with our new Court Sorcerer, they will be dealt with accordingly. But we now have an opportunity to utilize sorcery for the good for which it was intended. To heal, to protect, to create. For those who would dare to attack us with magic, we will now be able to counteract those attacks. We will able to truly defend ourselves, in a way that we haven't been able to for many years.

"But before the festivities end, I have one more announcement to make. It is cause for even more celebrations throughout the kingdom. I am quite pleased to say that the queen has conceived an heir to the throne of Camelot! There will be a child to carry on the legacy of this wonderful kingdom."

The crowd cheered, looking at their beloved queen with all the adoration that Arthur felt for her. Guinevere ducked her head slightly, but her smile was unmistakable.

He joined his wife, pressing a swift but loving kiss to her cheek.

"Congratulations," Elena told both him and Guinevere. "That is very exciting."

The queen smiled. "Thank you. We -"

Some sort of commotion erupted from near the platform. Arthur looked over to see a crowd forming around a young girl, about ten or eleven years old, who was lying on the ground. From the muttering of the people, it seemed as if she'd fallen and had been kicked by a horse. The horse was rapidly being calmed and led away.

He watched Kerenza rush toward the group, pushing them out of her way so she could get to the girl. A woman, most likely the child's mother, stood several feet away, frozen in fear.

* * *

Merlin felt Kerenza release his hand. Then she was running toward the fallen girl, the same girl they'd seen earlier, walking with her mother. Merlin didn't see the mother as he rushed after Kerenza. She dropped to her knees, beside the girl's shoulder, just as Merlin caught up to her. She let her hands hover over the child, obviously using her magic to sense the extent of her injuries. There was no visible blood, but that kick had not been gentle. Merlin was sure there would be internal bleeding, at the very least. The girl's eyes were unfocused, and she looked on the edge of losing her consciousness.

"Stop!" the girl's mother yelled, causing Kerenza to freeze as the woman stormed toward her. "I forbid you to use that vile sorcery on my child!"

The girl's eyes fluttered shut as she lost consciousness. Kerenza stared at the woman. "Your daughter has blood pooling under her skull, with nowhere to go, putting pressure on her brain. If I don't use a healing spell within the next -"

"Get away from her, sorceress."

Kerenza narrowed her eyes. Merlin could see the fury she was struggling to hide. "Are you going to let your daughter die because of a stupid prejudice? Either I do this spell, or she dies. If you refuse to allow me to save her, then her death is on _your_ conscious, not mine. _I can save_ _her_ , but we are wasting valuable time."

A tense minute passed. Then the mother gave a hesitant nod.

Kerenza began chanting, her focus entirely on her task. Merlin knew she would save the child - she was more talented at healing spells than he was. She understood the body better than he did, allowing her to control the magic better. He was powerful, but his healing magic had never been strong because he just didn't have the same understanding of the internal workings of the body, despite all his years with Gaius. He didn't understand the structure of the body as well as he should for healing magic.

This was the side of Kerenza that he liked the most. Her fierce and stubborn protectiveness of life. She would make sure that the girl survived.

* * *

 **The ending might seem a little abrupt. But I really needed to show that side of Kerenza from Merlin's POV, and this is what I came up with. I hope it didn't seem too random or anything.**

 **And I always thought it was weird how, in the show, Merlin didn't seem to be all that great with healing spells. It always seemed to take him several tries. Maybe, despite him working with Gaius, he just doesn't know enough about the internal structure of the human body? I don't know. Because he does seem to know his herbs pretty well.**

 **To akuryoyakuza: He does tend to get a lot of crap from the knights. You're welcome for updating!**

 **To mersan123: Let's hope Gwaine doesn't get too involved, though. Yeah, for some reason, it's almost impossible for me to imagine Hunith in Camelot. But I figured Merlin would at least offer.**

 **To guest: Thank you! I'm really glad that the chapter read well.**

 **To NerdGirlAlert: There will definitely be more Merlenza. Don't you fear.**

 **To SisterOfAnElvenWannabe: Thanks! And I totally thought that you had used the chapter title on purpose. Naming chapter titles, and even just titles in general, is probably my least favorite part of writing.**

 **To BlueIceFire995: Welcome aboard! I'm very honored that mine is your first Merlin fic. Aithusa is coming, don't fret. And Gwaine asking for water to be turned into wine** **…** **Hmm. Excellent idea. I may use that sometime in the future. You are very welcome for the fic.**

 **To xxxLeanniexxx: I am totally calling Arthur that in my head from now on. And Merlin is definitely going to use that spell at some point. Maybe not in this fic, but I do have a vague idea for a sequel, and it may pop up in that one.**


	31. Thirty: Sweet Nothings

**Um, this chapter is basically ridiculous fluff. I had way too much fun writing it. It may be my second favorite chapter, after** _ **Breathtaking**_ **, simply because it's so silly. Well, parts of it are silly.**

* * *

THIRTY: SWEET NOTHINGS (274 days)

Merlin walked toward the physician's chambers. It was nearing midday, so Kerenza should have already completed her morning rounds. He hoped she had. This was too good of an opportunity for them to pass up.

Just before he reached it, the door opened and a girl, about ten years old, rushed out. She skidded to a halt in front of him, barely keeping herself from colliding with him. She gave him a slight curtsy. "Hello, Lord Emrys."

He sighed at the title. He'd tried to get her to not call him that, without any luck. This was the girl that Kerenza had managed to save the last day of the festival. Rowena. Merlin had seen Kerenza tending to her a few times, just to make absolutely certain that the girl had healed properly. Though the mother, Linette, had allowed the continued care, she hadn't been thrilled about it. "Rowena, I've told you not to call me that. Merlin is fine."

She simply giggled and ran off.

Shaking his head, Merlin entered the chambers, making sure to keep the basket hidden behind his back. Kerenza was tidying up the room. "What was Rowena doing here? I thought you declared her fully back to health yesterday?"

The druid woman grinned, nodding. "I did." She held up a garland of red nerines. "She came by to give me this in thanks. She actually remembered the types of flowers that I had summoned the first day of the festival, even though she said that she wasn't supposed to be watching any of the performances."

"I'm assuming she did all of this without her mother's knowledge," he said. It wasn't really a question.

Kerenza answered with a roll of her eyes. Linette was adamant that her daughter stay away from sorcery and magic-users despite the fact that sorcery had saved Rowena. Kerenza wasn't happy about it, but she had accepted it. Linette was one of a handful of people who still opposed magic. At least, within the city itself. Merlin wasn't sure how the people of the outer villages felt. But the festival - and Kerenza's awe-inspiring healing magic - had eased the minds of most of the people of Camelot. And Rowena herself obviously didn't feel any such prejudices toward sorcery. She simply adored Kerenza now.

"Where is Gaius?" Merlin asked, not seeing his old mentor anywhere nearby. He hadn't passed him in any of the corridors, either.

"Sir Roderick was injured while on patrol this morning. Bandits. Gaius is tending to him."

Merlin grinned, pulling the wicker basket around so she could see it. "Excellent. How do you feel about a romantic picnic in the forest?"

"Just the two of us?" she asked, grinning. He knew what she was really asking. So far, in their attempts to unnerve Arthur, they hadn't done too much. Mostly hand-holding, lovey eyes, and blatant flirting, a lot of which they'd already been doing before they officially began courting. They needed to get a little more drastic - Arthur was still too smug. Merlin was thinking that they needed to start some intense cuddling and longer-than-appropriate kissing to really set the king on edge. They already did those things when it was just the two of them. They just needed to be more public about their affection for each other. "Nobody else will be there?"

"Well…" he began, a bit more dramatically than was necessary. "I may have spoken to Rolan earlier this morning."

Her grin widened. "The Rolan who works as King Arthur's personal manservant?"

"Mmm, yes, that Rolan. He was asking me about picnic spots that the king and queen preferred. It has been quite a while since Arthur has taken his wife for a romantic outing. And it got me to thinking that we haven't done anything of the sort. And everyone knows that romantic outings are crucial to a successful courtship. So, picnic?"

She nodded, smiling. "Of course. Let me just grab something first." She placed her flower garland on the table. And then she disappeared into her room, just as the main door to the chambers opened.

Merlin looked toward the door, expecting to see Gaius. Instead, it was Gwaine who came in. "Oh. Hello," he greeted.

"Merlin. Going out?" he questioned, nodding his head at the basket in Merlin's hand.

"Uh…No. It's…for Gaius," he lied quickly. He was sure that Gwaine wouldn't have any issues with what he and Kerenza were doing, but he was sure that Gwaine would get obnoxious about the whole thing. It was better to just leave him out of it. "Just a small…token of my gratitude for all…that he's done for me these last few years."

Quicker than he'd expected, Gwaine stepped toward him and lifted the folded blanket covering the basket. "Do you often give Gaius a handful of freshly picked flowers?"

"Uh…"

He was saved from having to answer further by Kerenza, who had just rejoined him. She was wearing his blue neckerchief. He hadn't seen it on her since she'd started wearing proper dresses. And even though Annis had returned to her own kingdom, Kerenza was still wearing the dresses. He found himself hoping that she kept the neckerchief as part of her daily attire. Perhaps he'd give her the rest of them. He didn't wear them anymore, not with the higher necklines of his new tunics. And they looked rather good on her.

She slipped her hand easily into his and smiled at the knight. "Good morning," she said, though the morning was nearly over by then.

Gwaine's eyes flickered between the two of them. He crossed his arms and stated, "Your plan isn't working."

"What plan?" they asked together.

He shook his head, but he was grinning widely. "I know that you both care for each other a lot, and you truly are…adorable together, but Arthur is not intimidated by your slightly exaggerated displays of affection. He is now convinced that he is an excellent matchmaker, and this conviction of his is making the rest of our lives miserable. For the past two days, he has been trying to arrange a courtship between me and Lady Seren. And he's talking about how good he thinks Mordred and Lady Carys would be good together."

Merlin winced. "Lady Carys is far too…"

"Evil?" Gwaine supplied.

"She's not evil."

"She's evil."

"She is not, but she's not a good match for Mordred. She's too intense for him. She would practically smother him. And Lady Seren? She's far too docile for you."

"I know! Do you see the dilemma? Merlin, you have to do something about this. Princess cannot be allowed to continue this matchmaking tirade of his. He's a terrible matchmaker. Terrible."

Merlin sighed. Of _course_ Arthur would let it all go to his fat head. "Are you saying that we should stop?"

"Oh, definitely not. I love it. But you're going to have to exaggerate even more if you want him to become uncomfortable enough to stop his matchmaking obsession. You're going to have to become the embarrassment of the court."

Merlin arched an eyebrow. "Like you are?" he challenged. Everyone knew about Gwaine's many dalliances, but most just turned a blind eye to it. Gwaine was too skilled of a knight for the court to truly care about his choice of nightly activities.

"Exactly," Gwaine agreed. The man truly had no shame. "They all expect it from me, so it's not that scandalous. But you? You would be the talk of the court. And so would Arthur, because he's been telling everyone that it's because of him that you two are so happy together. In a way, whatever you and Kerenza do is a reflection of the king."

Merlin and Kerenza studied each other. Then they both nodded. "I've been the talk of the court before, when I was made Court Sorcerer. I can handle the gossip."

"And I've never really cared much what others think."

Merlin arched an eyebrow at her. "You cared when Annis thought you were a prostitute."

Gwaine looked at Kerenza, surprised. "Queen Annis thought you were a prostitute?"

The healer-to-be blushed. "It was a silly mistake. And it was Queen Annis. Of course that comment…rankled me a bit. But I don't mind creating a bit of a scandal, if it means knocking Arthur off his self-created pedestal. He may be king, but he really shouldn't be playing with people's hearts. We'll start with the picnic today, and get more and more ridiculous."

Gwaine walked backward toward the door, grinning widely. "They're leaving now. You might want to hurry."

* * *

Arthur helped his wife settle onto the blanket Rolan had dutifully laid out on the forest floor. The king made sure there were plenty of pillows at her back while Rolan pulled spread out the contents of the basket. Now the servant was sitting a respectful distance away as Arthur handed a plate to Guinevere.

He smiled lovingly at her, filling her plate with food. If he looked closely enough, he could just make out the slight swell of her belly. She was just beginning to show physical signs of the child growing inside her.

"This was an excellent idea, Arthur. We've hardly had a moment to relax since…Well, since we began the process of making magic legal again."

The king leaned back on his elbows, grinning. "Of course it was an excellent idea. I thought of it."

She grinned, shaking her head at him. She wasn't looking at him, though. Her attention was on something beyond him. "Well, it appears that you weren't the only one to think of it," she said, pointing.

Arthur turned and let his eyes follow the direction of her finger. Arthur and Guinevere were sitting at a high point in the forest, overlooking a thin and shallow stream. Even as Arthur saw the two figures wade across the stream - their shoes held in their hands, along with a basket in the man's other hand - he heard their carefree laughter.

Arthur smirked as he watched Merlin and Kerenza from his higher vantage point. They stepped onto the bank, still laughing, and dropped their shoes. Merlin pulled a folded blanket from the top of his basket and shook it out before laying it on the ground. The two of them sat and began pulling the items from the basket, their bare feet resting in the stream.

It wasn't nearly as elaborate as his own picnic, but the two magic-users seemed content with the spread. "I told you they would be happy together."

She gave him a _look_. "Arthur. Have you forgotten that I was the one who told you they were even interested in each other?"

He didn't have a response for that, so he looked back at the couple. Merlin was showing off, using his magic to juggle several grapes in the air. Not once did his hands touch the fruit.

Guinevere smiled fondly at the sorcerer. "It is good to see him so happy and carefree. He's had too much weight on his shoulders for far too long."

Arthur silently agreed. Merlin was his best friend. Of course he wanted to see him happy. And it was good to see him not worrying about destiny and the fate of Camelot, at least for the time being.

As he watched, Merlin added a few rolls to his juggling act. Then, with a wide smirk and while the sorcerer was concentrating, Kerenza took off the blue neckerchief she'd been wearing - those stupid neckerchiefs looked a damn deal better on her than they ever did on Merlin. She folded it into a thin strip, and then tied it over Merlin's eyes.

She laughed at his indignant yelp. He lost his grip on the magic, apparently, because the grapes and rolls came crashing down on his head, causing him to yelp again. She leaned down to whisper something in his ear. A slow smile spread over Merlin's face, his eyes still covered, as he murmured a response.

Oh, Arthur wished he could hear what was said. He leaned forward, even though it wouldn't help him hear them better. Not if they were going to keep talking in low voices. Beside him, Guinevere was laying back on the pillows, admonishing him for not giving Merlin privacy.

It wasn't as if Merlin and Kerenza were going to do anything inappropriate, not out in the middle of the forest. Arthur ignored his wife.

Kerenza sat on her knees as Merlin laid back, so she was near his waist. He pulled his feet out of the water, laying them flat on the ground, so his knees were bent slightly. He stiffened suddenly, just for a minute or two, his cheeks pink.

Then he reached one hand blindly to her face, finding her cheek after a few seconds. Arthur watched Kerenza lean into the touch, closing her own eyes. She said something else, and Merlin turned his face, biting his lip. He was shuddering slightly. Then Merlin replied, his jaw tense. He was obviously struggling to keep himself under control.

Arthur knew he should look away. It was beginning to get a little uncomfortable, their intimacy. They really shouldn't have been acting that way out in the open, where anyone could stumble across them. It wasn't entirely appropriate.

And it really wasn't appropriate for Arthur to not look away or at least make his presence known. But he'd never seen his former servant so…flirtatious before. He was curious. He still didn't think that Merlin would let it go too far. He surely wouldn't cross that line.

Would he?

No, Arthur didn't believe Merlin would cross that line. And he _really_ wanted to know what they were saying to each other.

Kerenza leaned even closer, once again whispering sweet nothings to the sorcerer. Merlin shuddered again. He almost looked like he was in pain. His hands suddenly gripping the girl's hips as she pressed a fierce kiss to his lips. Without breaking the kiss, she moved his hands to the laces at the back of her dress.

And suddenly Arthur wasn't curious about what they'd said.

All he wanted to do was to get away from there, as quickly as humanly possible.

He was never picnicking in this spot again.

* * *

Kerenza leaned down, after she'd tied the neckerchief around his eyes and the food he'd been juggling was safely on the ground. "The king is staring smugly at us. Should we wipe the smirk off his face?" She made sure to keep her voice low and quiet, so Arthur wouldn't be able to hear exactly what she was saying. From his distance, he would probably think she was whispering sweet nothings to her beloved.

Merlin grinned slowly. "Of course. Is Gwen watching?"

Kerenza glanced quickly, making sure not to move her head. She didn't want the king to know that she knew that he was watching. "No." The queen was lying back against the pillows, her hand resting lightly on her belly. "Lie down," Kerenza murmured, kneeling near his waist.

He did, pulling his feet out of the stream and bending his knees slightly. _**Good idea,**_ she told him, through their minds. They hardly ever used the mind-speak that most druids were capable of, but it came in useful sometimes. _**That way, he won't see it if you get a little too dedicated to this charade, if you know what I mean**_ **.**

He went still, a blush rising to his sharp cheeks. _**Kerenza!**_

 _ **Don't get so worked up about it. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's biology.**_ _ **Do something romantic or intimate, quick. You're going to ruin everything if you don't move soon!**_

He lifted a hand, to touch her cheek, she assumed. He nearly poked her eye before he finally managed to caress her skin. Maybe the blindfold hadn't been the best idea. They probably looked goofy, instead of intimate. She nuzzled into his palm, almost without thinking about it. She closed her eyes, but not before looking very briefly at the king.

"You should see his face right now. He looks like a child on his birthday. He's enjoying this! Maybe it would be better if we just turn him into an ass for our revenge instead. He'd look good with donkey ears," she mused.

Merlin bit his lip and turned his head to keep himself from laughing out loud - she knew the story of the goblin who had given Arthur the ears and voice of a donkey, and she knew exactly how funny Merlin thought the incident to be. His whole body was shaking with mirth.

"Don't make me laugh," he mumbled, his jaw tight with the effort of avoiding doing just that. "Now who's going to ruin everything? Arthur will hear me if I laugh out loud."

She leaned closer to his ear. She knew she probably shouldn't be _trying_ to get him to laugh, but she was hoping it didn't look like laughing to Arthur. And she was enjoying this far too much. She loved to make Merlin laugh. "Maybe not an ass. Let's turn him into a toad. He's got a good toad-face."

Merlin's hands shot out to grip her waist as he clenched his jaw again. He was shaking again, with silent laughter, and she knew that his hold on her was probably the only thing keeping him from doubling up with the mirth. She could see he was close to losing his control, though, so she kissed him fiercely. Anything to keep him from laughing out loud. The queen and king would hear it, and it would shatter the façade.

She moved his hands from her waist to the back of her dress, and that was when she heard it - a low curse, and the clatter of a plate.

 _ **Don't laugh,**_ she warned Merlin. _**Pretend you didn't hear it.**_

They stayed like that for several more minutes, pretending to be kissing intensely when they were in reality touching foreheads and struggling not to laugh.

When they finally dared to look up - Merlin yanking off the makeshift blindfold - they saw no one. Arthur had hightailed it out of there, taking his wife and servant with him.

Merlin and Kerenza erupted into peals of laughter, collapsing together on the blanket.

* * *

 **Hopefully that wasn't too over the top for anybody. I was writing it at 2 am, if that wasn't obvious. The next chapter will probably be more serious, but I wanted to have this silly one first. And the beginning part, with Gwaine, I was actually going to have Gwen telling Merlin and Kerenza all of that, but it just didn't fit with Gwen's personality. I doubt she would encourage them to be scandalous, but of _course_ Gwaine would.**

 **To NirdGirlAlert: It should be quite entertaining. I had a lot of fun with this chapter in particular. Especially doing the picnic scene from two different perspectives. They will continue with their mischief, that's for sure.**

 **To Lunapok: I know. It's amazing how some people will allow a prejudice to influence their decisions, even in cases of life and death.**

 **To guest: I couldn't think of any other way to get healing magic into the festival. It's not really something you can put in a performance.**

 **To mersan123: He deserves a love life. I've always loved Mithian as well.**

 **To shadowswithouthope: At least the abruptness worked. I was worried about it.**

 **To xxxLeanniexxx: Right? Just like everyone but him knew that Arthur trusted his advice most. And hmm** **…** **You sparked an idea about Kerenza's plan, which I did use in this chapter. He does tend to let things go to his head.**

 **To rosiefife: Welcome! I'm so glad you're liking it, and I'm honored that it was your first. And I'm glad that Merlenza has grown on you. But I can understand why you weren't originally a fan of them. Thank you for the suggestion. I do know that I need to develop Mordred and Merlin's friendship. I haven't forgotten about him, there's just so many people and events to juggle, that I haven't shown much of that yet. I probably will in one of the next few upcoming chapters. I'll try, anyway.**


	32. Thirty-One: Beautiful

THIRTY-ONE: BEAUTIFUL (272 days)

Merlin stood at the recently built balcony overlooking the dragon enclosure - with a set of stairs leading down into the enclosure itself. The enclosure was finally finished. He may have sped up the process with his magic a bit.

Or a lot.

He had gotten too impatient waiting for the men to finish building it manually, and so he'd ignored Arthur's suggestion and finished it with magic. He was sure he would get an earful about that later, but for now, he didn't care. The enclosure finished, and it was actually quite large. Not nearly as large as the underground cavern Kilgharrah had been kept in, but it was certainly large enough for a growing dragon, when Scathach deigned to return her, that is. Being female, Aithusa was unlikely to ever get as large as the Great Dragon.

For now, though, it was empty. Sunlight streamed in, as the enclosure was completely open to the sky. Well, it would be. Merlin had placed an enchanted net over the whole enclosure - fortified with his Dragonlord magic. It was a spell that he hadn't known had existed until he'd needed it. Dragonlord magic was strange that way. He planned to keep the net there until he and Aithusa were both comfortable with her flying around Camelot freely. He had a feeling it would be a while before they got to that point.

He heard his door open and close with a snap. He looked over in surprise. "Mordred?"

The druid knight leaned against the door, his eyes wide. He put a finger to his lips. Merlin frowned, wondering what was going on. Mordred didn't usually barge into his rooms without permission. Then there was a knock on the door, and Mordred gave a startled jump. _**Lady Carys,**_ he said into the warlock's mind.

Merlin nodded in understanding - he could at least understand why Mordred would want to hide in his chambers, though he had no idea why Lady Carys would be following him - and moved toward the door. _ **Hide. I'll take care of her.**_

Mordred scrambled behind the dressing screen that Merlin never used. Why would he bother with a dressing screen now, when he had never used one before in his life? But Merlin hadn't had much say in the decor of his chambers. And, apparently, it made for a good hiding spot.

Merlin opened the door, smiling widely at Lady Carys. The woman was tall and thin, but she had an aura about her that made her seem much bigger than she really was. And despite the fact that wasn't quite as tall as the sorcerer, she still managed to look down her nose at him. "Lord Emrys," she greeted, causing Merlin to grit his teeth. He hated the title, and the whole castle knew it. "Have you see Sir Mordred? I thought for certain I saw him coming this direction."

The warlock shook his head. "I'm sorry, my lady. I'm afraid I haven't. He may be in the lower town, though. He sometimes visits his belo- He sometimes visits his friends there."

Her nostrils flared angrily. They both knew that Merlin had been about to say 'beloved,' even though Mordred wasn't currently courting anyone. At least, not that Merlin knew about.

With a huff and a flip of her brown hair, Lady Carys left.

Once she'd turned the corner, Merlin closed the door. Mordred came out from behind the screen, looking relieved.

"Lady Carys?" Merlin questioned.

Mordred shuddered. "She's terrifying. And I spent time with _Morgana_ , when she was at her worst, so that tells you just how terrifying Carys is."

"Why is she looking for you?"

The younger man sighed. "She has somehow gotten it into her head that I an interest in her. I don't know where she could have possibly gotten that idea."

"Arthur," Merlin growled, shaking his head. "He's still trying to play matchmaker? I thought our little picnic stunt would make him back off."

"Picnic stunt?" Briefly, Merlin explained how he and Kerenza had manipulated the king. Mordred shook his head. "So that's why Arthur hasn't been able to look you in the eye for the past two days."

Merlin grinned. "He still thinks that we don't know he was there. He's probably convinced that we actually did have sex out in the forest. Idiot." He sighed. "Damnit. It looks like we're going to have to get creative if we want to scar him enough to keep him from anymore matchmaking attempts."

"What should I do about Lady Carys?"

"Hide," was Merlin's only advise.

* * *

"Arthur."

The king looked across the table at his wife. They were just finishing their midday meal. "Yes? Is something wrong?"

Guinevere shook her head. "No. I just wanted to discuss something with you before your meeting this afternoon. About the babe."

He set down his fork, giving her his full attention. "Yes?" he asked again.

"I know that it's customary for mothers of nobility to have wet nurses, but I don't…I want to nurse the child myself." She took a deep breath, then added, "And I strongly dislike the idea of hiring a governess for our son."

"Guinevere," he said gently. "That isn't how things are done among royalty. A prince is always given a governess, as is a princess. It's simply how things are done."

She arched an eyebrow at him, challenging him. "Just as a king never marries a commoner? We've bent the rules before, Arthur. We can do it again."

"Guinevere." He reached out and took her hand in his own. He understood her reasoning for wanting this, even though she hadn't had a chance to express her reasoning yet. He knew why she wanted it. She had grown up in a different world than he had. Her father had been there every day of her life, personally teaching her all that she knew. While Arthur's father had been more of a king than a father to him. He didn't learn how to walk from his father. It was governess. He didn't learn how to read from his father. That was also his governess. "We are the king and queen. Even though I dislike the idea of a governess almost as much as you do, we will not be able to raise this child without one. We don't have that luxury. We have far too many responsibilities."

"I know, Arthur. I do realize that we will need help. But I do not want a governess raising our child _for_ us."

Arthur sighed. He didn't want that, either. Of course he didn't want that. He remembered his own childhood. He'd spent nearly all of his pre-adolescent years being raised and taught by his governess. His father had never played with him, and had hardly even shown any interest in him before he turned thirteen. Arthur didn't want that for his own son. He didn't want his son to remember his governess with more fondness than he remembered his own parents.

He may be king, but he was also going to be a father. He was determined to be more than _just_ a king to his son. He wanted to be the one to teach his son how to walk, how to swordplay, how to read. He didn't want a governess to do it all for him. So he understood exactly where his wife was coming from on the matter. He understood, and he agreed.

"I think we should be fine without a wet nurse, unless the midwife deems one necessary." That was an easy decision. Guinevere smiles at him, looking somewhat relieved. "But I doubt we can get away with no governess at all."

Guinevere's face fell.

Arthur continued, "However, perhaps the governess we hire will be responsible only for caring for the child when neither of us is available to do so. She will not be in charge of raising our child. Is that acceptable?"

The queen bit her lip as she folding her hands over her midsection. "I suppose."

"Guinevere, I promise that _we_ will the ones during the majority of raising him. I want him to have as carefree of a childhood as he can, despite being the heir to the throne. I know he'll have a lot of weight on his shoulders, but I hope that we will be able to make it more bearable. With you as his mother, I'm sure he'll be fine."

She rolled her eyes affectionately at him. She was grinning slightly. "Flatterer."

* * *

Merlin hummed as he made his way through the main part of the castle. He and Mordred had continued talking for nearly an hour, discussing some of their favorite spells. Their friendship was much easier now that Merlin wasn't worried about the druid trying to kill Arthur.

Surprisingly, Mordred had never asked what had made the warlock suddenly trust him again, and Merlin didn't feel the need to explain, so it went unsaid between them.

Once Mordred had left, Merlin had decided to make his way to the vaults again. He still had a few more sections to look through and organize. His task had remained unfinished due to the chaos of him being poisoned, his mother's arrival, the trial, the festival, then Kerenza.

Kerenza had been very distracting lately.

He was just walking past the smaller throne room when Kerenza herself turned the corner in a rush. For a brief moment, Merlin was worried that he had actually projected his thoughts to her. _**There you are,**_ she said, her lips not moving. _**I've been looking for you.**_

He frowned at her. _**Why are we using mind-speak? We're alone.**_ They very rarely spoke through their minds at all, and never when there was no one else around to overhear them.

 _ **I saw Arthur coming this way,**_ she explained. _**He didn't see me, though. I have an idea.**_ She didn't give him a chance to ask about her idea before she was pushing him against the wall. With a devious smirk, she ran her fingers roughly through his hair, making it even more unkempt than it usually was.

Well. That answered his question. He was rather liking this idea of hers.

Merlin's hands naturally fell to her waist when she crashed her lips to his, as they always did when she kissed him. He pulled her against him, wanting to be as close to her as was physically possible.

Kerenza's hands slipped themselves under his tunic and began to roam higher, grazing along his bare skin. Merlin gasped at the feeling. This was the first time in all of their kissing sessions - both real and exaggerated - that her hands had actually wandered under his tunic.

It felt amazing.

But then her hands stilled. She broke the kiss, pulling her face away from his with a frown. Before Merlin could wonder at her actions, she was yanking his tunic over his head.

He was too surprised to resist.

This was bold, even for her.

Her fingers found their way back to his chest, but in a much gentler fashion than before. "Merlin…" she muttered, and there was something wrong with her voice. Was she crying?

"Ack! Merlin! Kerenza!" They both jumped, looking over to see Arthur standing at the end of the corridor, his hands scrubbing at his eyes as though he'd seen something truly repulsive. He was already turning away from them. "This behavior is entirely inappropriate, especially in the middle of the castle, where _anybody could see you!_ Besides, you're not even married!"

"So?" Merlin challenged. He wasn't quite as concerned with the idea of waiting until marriage. After all, his mother hadn't been married to his father when they fell in love. But he mostly said it to annoy Arthur.

It worked. The king - who still hadn't looked at them beyond his initial discovery - threw his hands up in frustration. "Apparently, you and I need to have a discussion about propriety. As soon as I get out of this meeting, we're going to have a little chat, Merlin." With that, he left.

Merlin shook his head, grinning. "Well, that seemed to work. He couldn't even look at us. But was it really necessary to take my tunic off?" He looked down at her, but she wasn't looking at him. Well, she wasn't looking at his face. Her eyes - wide and green and full of tears - were riveted to his chest.

More specifically, the scars that littered his chest.

Oh. Maybe it was better that Arthur hadn't been able to look at the two of them. Merlin was sure, had he not been traumatized by their passion, he would have noticed Merlin's scars as well.

Closing his eyes, he leaned his head against the wall. In the heat of the moment, he'd forgotten about his many scars. Most were small, simple injuries from battles over the years. Those kinds of scars covered his arms and legs, too. Most of them were barely visible. But some were large and noticeable and ugly. For so many years, Gaius had been the only one who knew about them all, let alone had seen them all. Not even his mother knew about most of them.

And while Arthur and Gwen had been told of all of his various…adventures, they didn't know of all of the injuries he'd sustained in those adventures. They'd never seen his scars.

He felt oddly exposed, with Kerenza staring at him like that. Even with his eyes closed, he could feel her stare. "I know they're hideous. You probably hate them," he whispered. What girl wouldn't? "Most of them -"

"Merlin, they're not hideous. They're…Well, I won't say beautiful. Except…" she trailed off, one finger lightly tracing over the scar left from Nimueh's fireball, the biggest scar on his chest. It was also the ugliest, red and uneven and fresh-looking. "Except that they _are_ beautiful. Because they're marks of your bravery, of your loyalty."

And then she was pressing her lips softly to the scar. He shuddered at the feel of her mouth there. It felt...intimate. "They reflect everything that makes you who you are, Merlin. I love them, just as I love you."

Time seemed to slow to a crawl. Merlin had finally opened his eyes, to stare down at her. But she seemed to have realized what she'd said. Neither one of them had said that before, those three small words. Merlin had been feeling it for the past couple of days, that intense feeling. He knew that he loved her, was in love with her. But it had gone unspoken.

Until now.

Kerenza buried her head in his shoulder, groaning loudly. "I'm sorry. That was stupid. I shouldn't have said -"

He pulled her face up, as gently as he could in his haste, and kissed her. "Kerenza," he whispered, against her lips. "Yes, you should have said it. It wasn't stupid."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "What are you saying?"

He rolled his own eyes. "What do you think? I love you."

A slow smile spread over her lips, and then she kissed him again.

* * *

 **Whew. I hadn't really meant for Kerenza to find out about his scars in this one. It just kind of happened. As did the confession at the end. And I know it wasn't a lot with Mordred, but there was a little bit.**

 **To shadowswithouthope: Thanks! I'm still chuckling over it.**

 **To Lollypops101: Good. I was laughing my head off while writing it.**

 **To Linorien: I agree, and I plan to put more of it in here.**

 **To NerdGirlAlert: It was entertaining to write. I was cackling to myself as I wrote Arthur's reaction, because I already knew what Merlenza were really doing.**

 **To mersan123: With Arthur's stubbornness? Lol.**

 **To The View From Up Here: Thanks! Personally, I'm not a fan of Mordred, but he is a main player, so I'll try to incorporate more of him.**

 **To SisterOfAnElvenWannabe: Yes, but when does Arthur do as he should? And where would the fun be if he did?**

 **To geekyglamour413: Awesome! For some reason, I seem to have an inability to write a story that doesn't have a lot of chapters.**

 **To xxxLeanniexxx: Of course Gwaine is eager to create more-I swear, that man lives on mayhem and mischief. And oh my gosh, Arthur writing to Hunith or giving Merlin the little warlock talk? Hilarious. Little warlock talk. He, he.**


	33. Thirty-Two: Scars

**No action in this chapter, but I will be bringing some in later. Promise. Probably in the next few chapters. Most likely not in the very next one, but** **…** **maybe. I really am going one chapter at a time. I don't have any of the future chapters planned out yet (except the epilogue, and even that's just a vague idea). Anyway, enjoy.**

* * *

THIRTY-TWO: SCARS (260 days)

Arthur made his way through the main courtyard, toward the castle. As soon as he got the chance, he was going to have Rolan draw him up a nice, hot bath. He needed it, after this morning's training session. It had been too long since he'd personally helped with the training of his knights. Leon was usually in charge of that, now that Arthur was the king. But he felt it was important for him to personally work with his knights whenever he could.

Glancing up, the king saw Merlin at the top of the stairs, just coming out of the castle. He was about to call out to him, when he saw his best friend suddenly still. Frowning, Arthur looked around until he saw what had captured Merlin's attention.

Kerenza was walking toward the stairs, a medicinal bag over her shoulder. She looked up, saw Merlin, and stopped as well.

They stared at each other, neither of them moving, and then they both turned on their heels and went back in the directions they had come from. Arthur sighed, wondering why they were _still_ avoiding each other. They had been for a while now, and he was going to figure out why, damnit. Surely it wasn't because of the chat he and Merlin had had. He hadn't meant for them to stop spending time together. He just wanted them to stop their public displays of affection.

He hurried to catch up to Merlin, pushing aside his need for a bath for the time being. As soon as he was close enough, he grabbed Merlin's sleeve.

"Arthur!" the sorcerer objected, as the king began pulling him toward his chambers. "Arthur, what are you doing? Let go of me."

Arthur ignored him, as he usually did.

"Arthur, you stink. And if you keep touching me, _I'm_ going to stink, too. Let go."

"Merlin," Arthur growled in warning, "shut up."

Merlin didn't. He kept a steady stream of chatter as Arthur pulled him through the castle. He made sure to insult the king several times during their walk, trying to get a reaction out of him.

So Arthur gripped one of his ridiculously large ears instead of his sleeve, which shut Merlin up.

After a few more minutes, they arrived at Arthur's rooms. The king opened the door and pushed Merlin inside. He pointed to a chair. "Sit," he commanded.

With a scowl and a glare at the king, Merlin rubbed his ear. He didn't sit. Of course. The man never obeyed, no matter the order.

"Start talking," Arthur said. He folded his arms over his chest, and leaned against the door.

"Talking about what?"

Arthur nearly growled. Merlin was playing the idiot, and he didn't appreciate it. "You know what. It's been two weeks since I saw you in the hallway - acting entirely without propriety or discretion, as we've already discussed - and you and Kerenza have been avoiding each other since then. Did something happen? Besides the obvious?"

Merlin snorted, for some reason finding that amusing. Nothing was amusing about his and Kerenza's improper activities. "I don't want to talk about it," he muttered.

Arthur studied his friend, a disturbing thought occurring to him. What if Kerenza was...? He and Kerenza hadn't been courting long, but it _was_ long enough to make it possible. And Arthur knew that it was possible for magic to discover the condition sooner than any physician could, so there was a chance that Merlin and Kerenza already knew, if that was the case.

"Is Kerenza with child?" he finally asked. Perhaps that was why there were acting so strange around each other.

Again, Merlin snorted. "Of course she's not with child."

Arthur arched an eyebrow. "Are you certain? It's highly possible, with the way you two have been carrying on lately." He wasn't even sure when exactly they had started carrying on.

The sorcerer began pacing in front of the fireplace, obviously frustrated. "You're so…stupid. It was a game, Arthur. Kerenza and I never…We didn't…We haven't had sex! It was all a show, to make _you_ uncomfortable enough to stop meddling in the love lives of everyone around you."

The king narrowed his eyes. He should have realized. For all his talk of destiny and serving Arthur, Merlin seemed to live to torment him. "A show? So you aren't courting?"

"We are. We were. I don't know anymore. I think we still are, even if we aren't communicating well right now." Sighing again, Merlin flopped into one of the chairs at Arthur's table. He scrubbed his face. Unfolding his arms, Arthur moved to sit beside him. Quietly, the sorcerer said, "It's not a game anymore. It never should have been a game. We knew how we felt, though, and we were having fun tormenting you. And then, she said that she loved me. And things suddenly became much more real. And I realized that we shouldn't have made a game out of our feelings."

Arthur nodded in understanding. "You don't love her," he guessed. Normally, he hated discussing emotions. He was a warrior. Emotions were for girls. But this was Merlin. Besides, they weren't talking about _Arthur's_ emotions, so that made it all right.

"I _do_ love her. I think I do, anyway. That's the problem."

Arthur frowned. "Let me get this straight. She loves you, and you love her? Why is this a problem, exactly?" It wasn't as if Merlin and Kerenza had the same obstacles to overcome that Arthur and Guinevere had had to overcome. They didn't have to fight tradition to be with each other.

"Have I known her long enough to truly be in love with her? I've only known her for about a month and a half, if you don't count the time between when we actually met and when she moved to Camelot. We've only been courting, officially, for three weeks, though Kerenza would say it's closer to four weeks - and we've hardly talked at all for the past two of those weeks. I just -"

"Merlin. Kerenza is the type of person who is very easy to get to know. You may not have known her very long, and you may not know every little thing about her, but I think that you do know _her_."

The sorcerer sighed. "I just want to be certain. The last time I thought I was in love, I - never mind. I just want to be certain this time."

Arthur scoffed at that. "You've never been in love."

Merlin laughed. "I have. Once. There's still so much about me that you don't know, even after all these years."

"Yes, well, you excel at keeping secrets, apparently," Arthur grumbled. He thought that they had gotten to a point in their relationship where there weren't anymore secrets. He'd made Merlin tell him everything after they'd rescued him from Morgana. How were there still things that he didn't know? "It was a girl from Ealdor, wasn't it?" That would make sense. If he had fallen in love before he ever came to Camelot, then it wouldn't seem like such a big secret. Arthur hoped it was a girl from Ealdor.

Merlin just shook his head. "No, and I'm going to tell you who it was. It would only upset you. Arthur, if you don't even know me after several years of spending every single day together, how can I possibly know Kerenza after a month and a half?"

Arthur rolled his eyes. His friend could be such an idiot at times. "I may not know all of your secrets, Merlin, but I know _you_. You probably know her well enough. Kerenza is…She is very blunt and she doesn't hide things. From anybody, as far as I can tell." Arthur squirmed in his seat. He was beginning to get uncomfortable with this topic, even though they weren't discussing his own emotions. So he suggested, "But you shouldn't be talking to me about all of these girly emotional things. You should talk to Guinevere, or even Hunith."

"You asked me, Arthur," Merlin pointed out.

The king chose to ignore that comment. "So _why_ were you and Kerenza trying to make me uncomfortable?" They went through a lot of trouble to do so. He couldn't fathom why they would put their own reputations at risk just to embarrass him. Then again, a lot of the things that Merlin did confused him.

The sorcerer rolled his eyes. "You're a terrible matchmaker. You needed to be stopped."

"I am not terrible. You and Kerenza love each other, don't you?"

"Our attraction to each other had nothing to do with you, you arrogant prat. We liked each other before you stuck your royal nose into our business. You led Lady Carys to believe that Mordred was interested in her? And Gwaine and Lady Seren? Do you honestly believe those are good matches? Were you even _thinking_?"

Arthur huffed, refusing to admit that Merlin might be right. Maybe. Instead, he asked, "Don't you think that _undressing_ each other in the middle of the castle was going too far, though?"

"That was Kerenza," Merlin muttered, scratching the back of his neck. A blush was slowly filling his cheeks. "She felt all the scars I have on my chest, and -" he broke off suddenly, as if he hadn't been paying much attention to what he'd been saying, and only just realized what he'd actually said.

"Scars? You don't have any scars. Not any noticeable ones, anyway." Arthur had never seen any scars on his former manservant. He'd also never seen his former manservant without a tunic, except for that time two weeks earlier. But he had looked away almost immediately. Merlin had been in battles, of course. He'd been injured, Arthur knew that. But Arthur could only think of a few times that Merlin had actually been wounded enough to leave a scar, though. And even then, the scars couldn't have been that bad.

He'd never really thought about Merlin's injuries. He usually came out of their fights unscathed. "Doesn't your magic…"

"Heal scars? No. Of course not. I can heal wounds, but they'll still scar."

"There can't be that many, surely."

Merlin actually seemed amused by that. "Why? Because I'm not a knight, you just assume that I never get into 'real' fights and get hurt?"

"I just assume that you never get hurt because you never do! You come out of every battle with that ridiculous smile on your face. Nobody injured enough to leave a scar smiles like that."

With an amused quirk of his eyebrow, Merlin stood up and pulled his tunic off. Arthur felt his jaw drop. He had his own share of battle scars - every knight did. But Merlin wasn't a knight, and he had far more scars than the king would have expected. Most were just pale, thin lines, most likely from swords. They did get attacked by bandits on a somewhat regular basis, so he supposed that wasn't surprising.

But there were two that drew his attention more than the others. One he had already known about. It was just above Merlin's left pectoral muscle. It had been from a mace, Arthur remembered. It was the injury he'd sustained just before he'd gone missing for a couple of days, only to reappear in a bog in the forest. It wasn't a very large scar. Merlin had told Arthur that Morgana had healed it, and it looked like she had done a very good job.

The most obvious one also looked rather recent. It was in the center of his chest, a ragged circle of angry and uneven skin. Whatever had caused it must have been extremely painful.

"How did you get that one?" he asked, pointing to the scar he meant.

"Nimueh," the sorcerer answered simply. "She threw a fireball at me."

"Nimueh?" Arthur remembered Merlin telling him about his confrontation with the sorceress. He had not mentioned her throwing fireballs at him, though. "But that was _years_ ago! That scar doesn't look that old."

Merlin shrugged. "It was a magical fireball. The scar never healed quite right." He started to pull on his tunic.

"Wait," Arthur said, stopping him. Now he was curious. How many other scars covered his friend's body? Just how many times had he been injured, and none of them had the slightest clue? "Do you have any on your back as well?"

After a short hesitation, Merlin turned around. There weren't as many scars on his back, but there were still several. There was a large one on his lower back, dark in color, with tendril-like veins spreading out from it.

"Serket sting," Merlin answered, even though Arthur hadn't asked yet.

"When did you get stung by a Serket?"

"I told you about this. Morgana and Morgause had put me in magical chains and left me in the forest."

"You said that Kilgharrah rescued you. You never said anything about Serkets," Arthur accused. Why had he not known about any of these events? He had assumed that Merlin had told him everything. He had apparently assumed wrong.

Merlin shrugged again. "I…might have left out a few details."

Arthur stared at him, a little angry with his friend. "And how many other details have you left out from everything that you told me that you've done over the years?"

Merlin just grinned impishly over his shoulder. Then he pointed to a thin line at the base of his neck. "This is from when Morgana used the Fomorroh on me. The Fomorroh itself didn't actually leave a scar, but the cut Gaius had to make to get it out did."

Arthur shook his head, even as the sorcerer put his tunic back on. He knew that Merlin was the type of person to suffer in silence, but this was just ridiculous. How many times had Merlin been severely injured, only to arrive back at work, smiling cheerfully and pretending as though nothing had happened?

"Percival would be jealous," the king stated, because he really didn't know what else to say. The knights often compared their scars, trying to outdo one another. Percival was the most competitive in that regard, closely followed by Gwaine.

Merlin snorted, shaking his head. He sat back down. "I've never understood that. Why are men so proud of their scars? I…don't like mine. They're ugly. Why do you feel the need to boast about them? It's stupid."

"Merlin," Arthur chided, as though speaking to an ignorant child. "Scars are signs. Signs of strength and courage and endurance. A scar means that you survived. It means that you were stronger than whatever tried to kill you. Every warrior knows this."

"Well, I've never exactly been a warrior."

Again, Arthur shook his head. "Perhaps not in the traditional sense. But you _are_ a warrior. Never doubt that." The king stood, clapping Merlin on the shoulder. "Now, find a way to fix things with Kerenza, and quickly. You have a week before we leave. You should probably get things settled with her before we leave."

"Leave? Where are we going?"

"I want to personally see how some of the outer villages are handling the recent changes. You're coming with me."

"That's a given. It's my job to protect you. I go where you go."

Arthur scoffed. "I don't need to be protected," he said, more for argument's sake than anything else. The world wasn't right if he wasn't arguing with Merlin about something.

Merlin just rolled his eyes.

* * *

 **The boys needed some bonding time. It's been lacking.**

 **To xxxLeanniexxx: Dying. I'm seriously dying of laughter after reading that. Can you just imagine Hunith's reaction to a letter like that? Oh, gosh.**

 **To Peaceandunity: You make a really good point. I know that my pacing sucks sometimes. Unfortunately, I've kind of already set the pace for this fic. But I'll do what I can. Thanks for bringing it to my attention, though.**

 **To twinterfiction: Thanks. I hope this chapter brought back some of that bromance. I do have to politely disagree (and I really do mean politely; I respect your opinion, even if I don't fully agree with it, which is part of the reason I included those doubts in the conversation in this chapter) about the fast relationship, to a certain extent. Merlin had been willing to leave everything for Freya, remember, after only knowing her for a couple days - and they'd hardly even talked in those two or three days. So I think it does fit with his character. Also, courtships (as far as I know; I'll admit that I wasn't finding much good information online) in the medieval times were fairly short. Engagements were even shorter. It's fast for our time, but I don't know that it's that fast for those days. Those are my reasons behind letting their relationship move as it is, at any rate.**

 **To Juliana Brandagamba: Thanks! I feel like we never got to hear about Arthur's childhood in the show. I just can't imagine Uther having many interactions with him as a child.**

 **To NerdGirlAlert: Yes, she is. As much fun as that little talk would be to write, I'll leave it up to your imagination (and if xxxLeanniexxx wants to write this out for us, I'd be perfectly okay with that - I loved her letter to Hunith). I just didn't feel it fit in anywhere.**

 **To OechsnerC: It's coming. Eventually. There will be some action.**

 **To guest: Yes, it was way too bold for that era. If she hadn't felt his scars, she wouldn't have taken his shirt off. Probably. Maybe.**

 **To guest: I actually didn't know that about kings, though I feel like I should have. It makes sense.**

 **To SisterOfAnElvenWannabe: I hope it was enough of Mordred for now.**

 **To mersan123: Different in a good way, I hope.**

 **To TheDarkestDreams: Thank you! Arthur makes some of the best facial expressions (I was just watching A Servant of Two Masters, and Arthur has the perfect Derp face when he first wakes up). And I'm glad that you're shipping Merlenza! It means that I'm doing** _ **something**_ **right.**


	34. Thirty-Three: Frightening

THIRTY-THREE: FRIGHTENING (259 days)

Merlin took a deep breath as he entered the familiar chambers. He hated to admit it, but Arthur was right. He did know Kerenza quite well, despite not knowing her for very long. It was frightening to realize that he cared so deeply for someone that he hadn't known for very long, but avoiding her wasn't going to help anything. Avoiding her hadn't helped him sort through his feelings.

Looking around the room, Merlin only saw Gaius, leaning against one of the tables as he mixed up a tincture of some sort. The old physician looked at him. "Please tell me you've come to make things right with Kerenza."

Merlin frowned slightly. "It's nice to see you, too," he muttered.

"Of course I'm happy to see you, my boy. I hardly ever see you anymore."

The young warlock sighed. "I know. I need to work on that." He knew he shouldn't put off visiting his old mentor. His age was beginning to catch up to him. Merlin could see it in his guardian's slower movements, and the fact that Kerenza was now responsible for the majority of Gaius's duties. As much as he hated to even think about it, he knew that Gaius wouldn't live forever. His time would come, sooner rather than later. Merlin should have been spending as much time as possible with his former guardian.

"Talk to Kerenza first. She's been moping."

Merlin arched an eyebrow. "Kerenza? Moping? I can't imagine that."

"It's rather disconcerting, to be honest. She does her job well and without complaint, but as soon as she's finished with her work, she goes into her room and sulks. She's been doing it nearly every day for a week now. Whatever has happened between the two of you, you need to remedy it."

Merlin sighed again. "Where is she now?"

"In the lower town. Seamstress Ariene's middle son, Doran, broke his leg. Kerenza went to tend to him."

The sorcerer nodded. "Thank you. I'll come back later today to see you."

"Just make sure you've resolved things with her first!" Gaius called, as Merlin left the chambers.

Merlin made his way out of the castle and toward the lower town. When he reached the home he was looking for, Ariene was outside, tending to her small garden. She smiled when she saw him. "Good afternoon, Lord Emrys."

He frowned. "You know who I am?" He knew who she was, of course. She was one of the most skilled seamstresses in Camelot. Her skills were rather famous. Everyone knew of Ariene. But he couldn't think of any reason that she would be able to recognize him.

She laughed, her grey eyes twinkling. "Everyone knows who you are by now. What can I do for you?"

"I heard that Kerenza was here."

"Yes. Little Doran was being his usual self and managed to break his leg this morning. But thanks to Kerenza, it's as good as new."

"Is she still here?"

Ariene nodded. "The boys have taken quite a liking to her. Neale won't let her put him down, and Vaughn is flirting shamelessly, despite the fact that he's only twelve."

Merlin grinned. "So you're saying that I may some competition for her affections?"

"My son _is_ quite handsome."

Chuckling, Merlin pointed to the house. "Do you mind if I join her?"

"Of course not. Take your time, please. The longer my boys are distracted, the happier I'll be. I've been trying to clear all the weeds from this garden all week, without success."

With a nod, he entered the small home. Kerenza stood in the middle of the main room, a child no more than three years of age on her right hip; that would be Neale, Merlin assumed. Another boy, about eight, was lying on a small bed, looking upset about something. The oldest boy was proudly showing her a wooden he had apparently carved for his youngest brother. That could only be Vaughn, which meant the boy in bed was Doran.

Merlin leaned against the doorframe, content to just watch her for the time being. She had a way with children. She seemed to be making faces at the toddler she was holding, if Neale's responses were anything to judge by, while reminding Doran to stay in bed and giving Vaughn praise for his whittling skills.

Any lingering doubts he had fled as he watched her. He loved her. He was more sure of that now than he had been before. And he did know her. He might not have known everything about her, but he knew enough. He knew what kind of a person she was.

Besides, it wasn't as if they had to get married. Not yet, at any rate. For now, it was enough to simply be courting, to simply spend time together and to get to know each other even more than they already did.

Vaughn was just launching into a tale of some racing feat he'd accomplished when Kerenza finally noticed Merlin in the doorway. She gave a startled little yelp, but her hold on Neale never faltered. "Merlin. Hi."

He smiled. "Hello," he said softly.

The oldest boy narrowed his eyes, his hands going to his hips. "Who are you? What do you want with my lady?"

Kerenza chuckled, using her free hand to ruffle his hair. "Vaughn, you are such a charming young man. I would love to be your lady, but I'm afraid that you're simply too amazing for me. I'm intimidated by your strength and skills."

The boy puffed out his chest proudly at that.

Still grinning, Kerenza passed the toddler to him. Neale didn't seem happy about it, but he went to his older brother. She looked over at Doran, pointing a stern finger in his direction, and instructed, "Stay in that bed for the rest of today, young man."

"But -"

"I mean it. Your wound may be fully healed, but your body still needs rest. And behave for your mother. All of you."

Then she left the home, pulling Merlin along with her. They walked in silence. Merlin let Kerenza lead the way. He didn't care much where they went. She guided him out of the city, into the meadow they had used to practice their routine for the festival.

"So," she began, dropping his hand. "Are we done avoiding each other now?"

He sighed, scratching the back of his neck. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have acted the way that I have been for the last two weeks. It's just…You said that you love me, and I…I let my own doubts make things awkward between us."

She groaned in frustration. "I knew it," she muttered, as she began pacing. "I knew it was too soon. I shouldn't have said it. Now I've scared you away. And you probably only said it back because you felt like you had to. I've ruined everything, haven't I? Oh, I can't believe I was so stu-"

"Kerenza," he said sharply, cutting her off. He gripped her shoulders, forcing her to stop pacing, and turned her so she was facing him. He looked directly into her eyes as he said, "You did nothing wrong. I just needed to sort out my own feelings, and make sure that what I'd told you was real. I needed to make sure that I really do love you, and that I wasn't just saying it because _you_ said it."

She bit her lip, her eyes darting away from his. "And?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

Grinning, he pulled her closer to him. He leaned down and pressed a soft, chaste kiss to her lips. "I really do love you."

When they pulled apart, she leaned her cheek against his shoulder. "Are you frightened? Of…loving me? Because of what happened with Freya?"

"A little, yes. I don't want to lose you like I lost her. It's also frightening to…to love you so much. We haven't known each other for very long, and these feelings are quite a bit more intense than I ever expected so soon. I'm sorry I started avoided you. I just...We shouldn't have made a game out of our feelings, even if Arthur did deserve it. We shouldn't have been playing with our hearts like that."

"I know what you mean. I didn't expect to fall in love with you so quickly. I've never been in love before you. I'm terrified, Merlin."

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "We'll figure it out together."

* * *

Arthur sat at his desk, pouring over the documents in front of him. He wanted to make sure that he finished all of his paperwork before his upcoming trip. He knew he would have more to do once he returned. As long as he didn't have any when he left.

He'd already spoken to his most trusted knights - Leon, Elyan, Percival, Gwaine, and Mordred. They were all coming as well, and were looking forward to the chance to get out of the castle. They hadn't gone on any trips since...Well, since Merlin had been kidnapped by Morgana. Obviously, Merlin hadn't actually been traveling with them that time. He would be this time. It would be just like old times.

Except, of course, that it would be nothing like old times.

This time, the servant coming with them wouldn't be the ever cheerful Merlin. It would be Rolan. Rolan, who would undoubtedly remember to pack everything he was supposed to pack. Rolan, who never insulted Arthur. Rolan, who actually fulfilled all of his duties well and on time. Rolan, who was probably much more skilled on a horse. It would be…strange and interesting to have Rolan serving him and the knights on this trip, rather than Merlin.

And even though Merlin would be coming along, he would be there as the Court Sorcerer. He would be there as an equal, as he should have been all along. He wouldn't be cooking for them, or setting up camp for them, or any of the other things that he usually did.

Arthur knew it wasn't possible, but he half-hoped that this trip wouldn't be any different than any of the others he and his friends had taken together. But that was a ridiculous hope. This trip would be entirely different. The roles had changed. It would never be exactly the same again. Hopefully, it was different in a good way, though. Hopefully, the changes were good ones.

He didn't look up as the door opened and somebody entered the room. He could tell by the footsteps that it was Guinevere. She placed something on the table - most likely lunch, as it was nearly noon - before approaching him. She leaned against his chair, running her fingers gently through his hair. "Take a break, Arthur. You've been working on those all morning. Your eyes are crossed, so I know you can't possibly be able to focus on them properly."

With a sigh of agreement, he stood up. He gave her a brief kiss. Then, together, they sat at the table.

"This trip will be good for you," she stated, as she began cutting her meat.

"Why do you say that?"

She smiled warmly at him. "You get anxious when you've been trapped inside too long. You need to get away from the castle for a little while."

He nodded. She was right, of course. "These walls can feel a bit…small after a while." He studied her. He knew that she could feel just as stifled by the castle sometimes. "Will you be all right? We will probably be gone for a few weeks. I want to visit as many of the outer villages as I can."

"Arthur, I will be fine. Gaius and Kerenza have insisted that it would be best for me and the babe if I don't travel, not for that length of time this trip will take. I will be all right staying here."

The last thing he wanted was to put Guinevere or their son at risk. He nodded.

"Just promise me one thing, Arthur. Be safe, and come home to me."

"I promise."

* * *

 **To mersan123: I know! That boy doubts himself way too much.**

 **To xxxLeanniexxx:** _ **Obviously**_ **Cupid Arthur could** _ **never**_ **be wrong. :)**

 **To Juliana Brandagamba: I did consider having him tell Arthur about Freya. But I think that would make Arthur feel incredibly guilty, and Merlin wouldn't want that.**

 **NerdGirlAlert: I'm so glad it didn't feel forced.**

 **SisterOfAnElvenWannabe: Yeah, the second to last line was one of my favorites from that chapter. And oops about the mistake. Dangit. I don't always catch all of my slip-ups, and I hate it when I miss one as obvious as that. And I'm pretty sure Arthur would hate himself for killing Merlin's first love.**

 **Okay, I know that not much is really going on in Camelot right now. There might be a hint of something in the next chapter. And there will definitely be some unrest in the chapter after that. Hopefully the lack of action isn't driving anybody crazy yet.**


	35. Thirty-Four: Wendigo

**I apologize for all the little grammar/spelling mistakes in the last chapter. I did not proofread as well as I should have. Hopefully, I did a better job this time around. I also just apologize for this chapter in general.**

* * *

THIRTY-FOUR: WENDIGO (253 days)

Kerenza stood at the bottom of the steps, fingering the blue material she was wearing around her neck. She watched the bustle in the courtyard, trying to dispel the feeling of unease that had settled low in her belly. She didn't know what, exactly, was making her uneasy. It just was a feeling that wouldn't leave.

She didn't like it one bit.

Most of the knights were already mounted and laughing amongst themselves, save Sir Leon, who was talking quietly to a short brunette woman. From what Kerenza had heard, the knights were taking bets on when the two of them would get married.

King Arthur was standing beside his wife, whispering his goodbyes to her. Rolan, the king's servant, was checking all the luggage.

She hadn't seen Merlin yet. She had hoped she would get a chance to talk to him before they left, but it was starting to look like that wouldn't happen. At least, not without an audience. She wouldn't be able to speak to him in private, like she would have preferred.

Arthur gave Guinevere a swift kiss before jogging to his horse and mounting. Nearby, Rolan was doing the same with his own horse. "Let's go," the king called.

"Wait, sire," Sir Leon objected. "Where's Merlin?"

Arthur looked around with a frown. His eyes stopped when they reached Merlin's horse, and the empty saddle. The Court Sorcerer's bags had already been fastened to the creature, but the Court Sorcerer himself was nowhere to be seen.

The king practically growled in frustration. "Merlin!" he shouted.

In almost the same instant, Merlin came running out of the castle. "I'm here, I'm here."

"Hurry up," Arthur commanded.

Before Merlin could mount his horse, though, Kerenza rushed forward. She had to talk to him, even if it was only for a few seconds, before he left. Even if it was in front of everyone else. "Wait," she called, pulling him into a hug. She leaned up and kissed his lips quickly but intensely. She forced a grin onto her lips. She somehow managed to sound flirty as she said, "You can't leave without a token of my affection."

Merlin rolled his eyes when she reached behind her neck to untie the neckerchief. In the background, Arthur was beginning to get impatient. They ignored him. "I'm not sure you understand how tokens are supposed to work," Merlin chided fondly. "You're supposed to give me something that belongs to _you_ , not something that you stole from _me_."

"Please," she begged, trying to keep the desperation out of her voice as she held it out to him. "Make sure you wear it."

Merlin frowned and took it from her, sucking in a surprised breath the moment he touched it. His voice was softer, nearly a whisper, when he asked, "Why are there so many protection spells on it?"

"Merlin," Arthur grumbled.

"I know you can and will protect every man here," Kerenza told the sorcerer with confidence, nodding at the king and his knights. She knew how fiercely Merlin would protect them. He would put his own life at risk to keep them safe. "But who will protect _you_?"

"Kerenza -"

She kept her voice quiet, to keep their conversation from being overheard. "You have nothing to protect you the way that you protect them. So I'm sending some with you. I have a bad feeling, Merlin. I may not have Ma's gift of foresight, but I have learned to trust my gut. Something bad is going to happen on this trip."

Merlin gave a crooked grin, even as Arthur yelled his name again. They both ignored the king - again. "Something bad _always_ happens on these trips, Kerenza. I'm prepared for it."

She was getting a little impatient with him. "Just wear the damn neckerchief, Merlin," she growled. She took a deep breath to keep herself from snapping at him again. She didn't want to part on bad terms, even if her worry and his lack of concern were making her irritable. "Please? For me?"

With a sigh, he tied the cloth around his own neck.

"Be safe," she begged. She couldn't bear to see him injured, or to lose him.

"I will."

"MERLIN!"

Kerenza kissed him once more, then she stepped back. She hugged her torso as he swung himself clumsily into his saddle. Within a matter of minutes, the group had ridden out of the courtyard.

A warm arm wrapped around her shoulders in comfort. Kerenza looked up. The queen was smiling sadly back at her, the same worry in her brown eyes. She was just as concerned about the men as Kerenza was. Despite that, her voice was confident when she said, "They'll come home, Kerenza. They always do."

* * *

"You can take that ridiculous thing off now," Arthur called, as he swung down from his horse. "You don't have to wear Kerenza's token the entire time. She'll never know, and it looks stupid on you."

Merlin touched the blue fabric fondly, trying not to smirk as he dismounted. He wasn't planning on taking it off. Kerenza had put some very good protection spells on it. And, as he'd told her, something bad always happened when they traveled. He was going to take all the protection he could get. He would make sure to place some protection spells of his own around their camp, too, before they went to sleep that night.

But for now, he allowed himself to enjoy the moment, to relax with his friends. "I don't know, Arthur," he said thoughtfully. "I think I might start wearing the neckerchiefs again. I've missed them. And Kerenza thinks they look good on me."

The king rolled his eyes, slumping down on a log. He muttered something about "delusional druid girls."

Merlin moved automatically toward Arthur's horse, intending to get the king's bags, only to find Rolan already doing it. He stepped back with a sigh. Somehow, he'd fallen immediately back into the routine of being a servant. Some habits were difficult to break, apparently. He didn't resent his replacement, not really. He just wasn't accustomed to not doing everything that Rolan was doing.

He wasn't going to make Rolan do all of the work, though, unlike the knights who were all too willing to sit on their fat bottoms. He was more than capable of helping with the rest of the bags. Rolan sent him a grateful smile as he did so. Together, they began setting up camp. For a while, Merlin could pretend it was like all the other trips they'd taken as a group. No one seemed to notice that he was helping Rolan. Or, if they did notice, they didn't say anything.

And then, while the sorcerer was tying up the horses for the night, Arthur instructed Rolan to begin making dinner - though Merlin had heard him nearly slip and say _his_ name instead of his new servant's name.

After a brief, whispered conversation behind him, Merlin heard two or three people leave the camp to venture into the forest, presumably to find fresh meat for the stew, as it wasn't quite dark yet. The knights always preferred fresh meat over anything dried that they carried with them, if they could get it.

A quick glance told him that Gwaine, Elyan, and Rolan had all gone. Merlin didn't think much of it as he finished with the horses and took out the needed supplies to cook their meal. Until he heard both Arthur and Leon begin to laugh, that is. He looked at the others, to see Percival grinning and shaking his head. Mordred looked slightly confused.

Merlin sighed when he realized what they were doing - he could hear Gwaine and Elyan beginning to teach Rolan the awful, girly call. They'd probably already slathered gaia berries onto his face as well, claiming that it would mask the scent of humans and allow them to capture the critter. They had done it to him as well, shortly after Gwaine had become a knight.

Because _of_ _course_ it was Gwaine's idea.

It was even more ridiculous now than it had been then. But at least this time, Merlin had an idea for revenge. He sent Arthur an irritated look. "They've convinced him to capture an elbillug for the stew, haven't they?"

Mordred's frowned deepened. "An…elbillug?"

Arthur smirked, leaning forward slightly to describe the creature. "It's a sneaky little creature, about the size and shape of a rate. Except that it's covered in bluish gray feathers, and has a frill around its neck. It's very hard to catch, but it tastes delicious."

"I've never heard of this creature."

"That's because it's not real," Merlin explained. "Elbillug is gullible backwards. As you can see, the knights aren't bright enough to come up with anything more clever than that. Arthur, don't you realize how dangerous this is?"

The king scoffed. "It's a bit of harmless fun, Merlin. _You_ fell for it, and you didn't get hurt."

Merlin would show Arthur harmless fun. "Well, at that time, we weren't camped near the nest of a wendigo," he lied, recalling a creature he'd read about in one of his magic books, a creature long since extinct. But Arthur had no way of knowing that. And, really, it wasn't even a lie. At the time, they hadn't been camped near a wendigo nest. They also weren't camped near one now.

But again, Arthur had no way of knowing that. The king had probably never even heard of a wendigo.

Mordred gave him a strange look, but chose not to say anything. If Merlin had to guess, the druid knight knew what a wendigo was - and the fact that it was extinct. He hoped Mordred wouldn't spoil his fun by informing Arthur of this fact.

"A wendigo?" Arthur asked skeptically. "Merlin, we're not idiots. You can't make up a creature of your own and expect us to actually believe you. We aren't going to chase after some imaginary animal so you can have a laugh at our expense."

Merlin shook his head vehemently. "Oh, no. The last thing we should do is try to catch it. Wendigos are extremely volatile. And unpredictable. Normally, I wouldn't be worried about us being so close to its nest, but with all the noise they're making on their elbillug hunt, they may just infuriate the wendigo."

Arthur narrowed his eyes, as if he wasn't quite sure if he should believe Merlin or not. "What does it look like?"

"Oh, it's invisible."

At that, Arthur rolled his eyes and relaxed. "How convenient, Merlin. Tell me, what makes this wendigo so dangerous, hmm?"

It was taking all of the sorcerer's self-control not to lose his composure. "It can possess a human. It only stays inside the human for a brief moment, but that's all it takes. After the possession, the human -" Merlin broke off with an exaggerated shudder. It didn't take much magic to make it seem like some sort of invisible force had entered him. The trickiest part was hiding the glow of his eyes from the others, but judging by their looks of concern - and Mordred's look of pure amusement - told him that he'd succeeded.

"Merlin?" Arthur questioned.

Merlin blinked slowly, as if coming out of a daze. "Yes?" He purposely slurred the word as he spoke it.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes."

"What happens after a wendigo possesses a human?" He was starting to believe it. There was a slight tension to his voice now.

"Oh. The human becomes cannibalistic. It happens almost immediately. I think I read that the wendigo enjoys watching the person eat their own friends." Merlin twisted his face into a grimace. "So we should probably go stop them before they make the wendigo upset…"

That spurred Arthur into action. He scrambled to his feet. Merlin and the king rushed after the sounds of their friends. As he'd expected, Rolan was stomping around, gaia berries on his face, making weird sounds. All of this under the direction of the two knights were laughing so hard they were nearly crying.

"Enough!" Arthur commanded, in a harsh whisper. Immediately, Rolan stopped. It took Gwaine and Elyan several more seconds-they'd been laughing too hard. "This isn't the time for games. Forget about the elbillug. Merlin sa-"

"Mmm, yes," Merlin responded in a mutter, as though Arthur had said his name because he wanted his opinion. "Arthur stew sounds _much_ better than elbillug stew."

Arthur slowly turned to him. He'd been close enough that he would have heard Merlin's comment without any problems, even though the others hadn't. "What did you say?"

Merlin frowned. He was having far too much fun with this. He couldn't wait to tell Kerenza about it. He could only imagine her disappointment that she hadn't been here to see it. "What?"

"What did you just say?"

"I didn't say anything." Arthur stared at him. Merlin stared right back. And licked his lips. "Can we go back to camp now? I'm hungry. I'm sure we can find someo- some _thing_ suitable for the stew."

Arthur's eyes widened comically. He took a step away from Merlin, drawing his sword. Gwaine, Elyan, and Rolan all looked completely baffled. "All right, Merlin. How do you kill a wendigo?"

"A wendigo?" Gwaine repeated, chuckling. "Arthur, wendigos don't exist anymore. They've been extinct for decades. They were extinct before the Great Purge." Damn. Merlin had forgotten that Gwaine had traveled a lot, and actually had quite a bit of knowledge about magical creatures. And unlike Mordred, he hadn't figured out what Merlin was trying to do.

"Merlin said…" the king trailed off, noticing the glare the warlock was giving Gwaine.

"Now you've ruined all my fun, Gwaine," Merlin complained. "I really had him fooled. I think he _actually_ thought I was going to eat him."

"MERLIN!"

* * *

 **This chapter. Oh my gosh. I actually finished it yesterday. I've been staring at it for about an hour, debating about posting it, or just doing a total rewrite. Obviously, I chose to post it. I'm still not sure if I should have...It got ridiculous. And it just kept getting more and more out of control. I don't know what happened! Hopefully nobody was too OOC in here.**

 **And elbillug. Totally based off of the fictional snipes that many people hear about while camping. Snipe hunts were some of the funniest parts of my summer camps. I got a kick out of listening to the other girls search for snipes. The actual term snipe seemed too modern, though. So elbillug was born. I know, it's a stupid name. Totally lame. Oh, well. That's what it is.**

 **To Lya200: He, he.**

 **To Linorien: There may be some more of that coming up. I had planned to put it in this chapter, and then the chapter ran away from me.**

 **To geekyglamour413: I, personally, adore fluff and drama more than action. I can see why the talk might seem a bit unreal. Merlin is** **…** **He's difficult. But I actually imagine him to be very open about his feelings, UNLESS revealing those feelings would also reveal his big secret (think Freya, and Balinor-he couldn't really talk about them without also talking about his magic) OR they would bring him pity (think the pranks that some of the servants did in this fic). I hope that makes sense.**

 **To guest: How'd you like that mischief?**

 **To dmcmeel412: Where would be the fun in that?**

 **To Hachiko33200: Spoiler=I don't plan on breaking them up. And Merlin's immortality** **…** **That is a problem I need to solve. I would** _ **like**_ **to just ignore it and pretend it doesn't exist, in this fic. But I don't think I can get away with that. I haven't decided what I'm doing about it yet. And please don't apologize for your English! It's amazing.**

 **To xxxLeanniexxx: There** _ **was**_ **going to be a moment of Merlin the Great and Powerful, but then it became Merlin the Pretend Cannibal? Don't ask me how.**


	36. Thirty-Five: Worth It

**Thanks so much for the reviews! I'm so glad that you guys liked that last chapter.**

 **And thanks for the idea (you'll see what I mean), SisterOfAnElvenWannabe! I totally used it. Hope that's okay with you** **…**

 **And Gwaine probably would have figured it out if he'd heard more of their conversation. He didn't hear Merlin say "Arthur stew," though he did hear him almost say "some _one_ " instead of "some _thing_."**

* * *

THIRTY-FIVE: WORTH IT (252 days)

"I'm so hungry, sire!" Gwaine yelled suddenly, gripping his stomach dramatically and licking his lips. His voice pulled Merlin out of his thoughts - the sorcerer still had no idea what threats may lie ahead of them on this journey. There hadn't been any signs of anything yet. Although bandits were almost a guaranteed. They were almost always attacked by bandits. "I could eat Percival!" They'd been traveling for several hours now, and this was about the fifth time the knight made an announcement to that effect.

Arthur nearly growled. He was the only one who didn't seem to find it entertaining. "Gwaine."

The knights burst into laughter. Merlin couldn't stop himself from laughing. Even Rolan was struggling to hide a smile.

"I am never going to stop making fun of you for this," Gwaine told the king sincerely. They all knew that he would keep reminding Arthur of his folly for years to come. "How did _Merlin_ manage to fool you? He's a terrible liar."

"He can be a skilled liar, when he chooses to be," Arthur defended, which even Merlin felt was stretching the truth. He had always been a terrible liar, and he knew it. He was fairly certain that the only reason his magic had remained secret for so long was because nobody around him _wanted_ to believe it. It had nothing to do with his lying abilities, not really. His friends were all just extraordinarily talented at ignoring the obvious.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, sire," Mordred called. "The druids often did the same thing, convincing each other that they'd been possessed by a wendigo. A distant cousin of mine went as far as to actually truss me up and tie me to a spit over a fire pit. I really thought he was going to cook me and eat me. Then again, I was only five. I believed anything at that age. And he did have me tied to a spit."

This comment got another round of laughter from the knights. Arthur groaned in frustration and urge his horse to speed up. Then he paused, and looked back at the youngest knight of the group. "So you knew that Merlin was trying to make a fool out of me yesterday, and yet you didn't think to say a word to me?"

Mordred shrugged. "It was just a bit of harmless fun, sire."

Percival and Leon snorted in amusement.

Arthur huffed, irritated. He glanced back at Merlin. "Merlin, you've been surprisingly lacking with insults this morning. What are you thinking about so intently?"

He had been thinking of Kerenza's warning, and his own unease that had grown since they'd started this journey. Not that it would do him any good to tell the king, though. Arthur would scoff at the "funny feeling" and then choose to ignore it completely. Just as he always did, even though Merlin's "funny feelings" had always been right.

Instead of sharing his actual thoughts, he responded, "I was trying to decide if you would taste better boiled or roasted."

Arthur rolled his eyes. The knights were all snickering again. "Hilarious, Merlin," the king drawled sarcastically.

"Boiling would probably be better," the warlock mused. "I might be able to water down some of the saltiness. You sweat far too much. If we could just get rid of some of the saltiness, though, I'm sure you would taste great."

Merlin could almost _hear_ Arthur gulp nervously. He looked at Mordred and asked, "You're certain wendigos are extinct?"

It was as if he didn't trust Merlin or Gwaine to give an honest answer.

Gwaine roared at that, even as Mordred assured him that they were, indeed, long since extinct.

Arthur shook his head. When he spoke again, his tone was serious. "Merlin, what are you _really_ thinking about?" Merlin simply shrugged, which made the king roll his eyes again and groan. "Don't tell me you have one of those ridiculous 'funny feelings' of yours again? You get them nearly every time we travel."

"Yes, and something bad happens nearly every time we travel. You shouldn't dismiss my 'funny feelings' so quickly." He thought about telling the king that Kerenza had also had a sense of foreboding, and that that was the source for most of his own unease, but he knew it wouldn't do any good. Arthur would likely claim that all women worried, and that Merlin shouldn't take it seriously.

"Don't be such a girl, Merlin."

"Don't be such a prat, Arthur."

The king chose not to reply to that. The group continued on in silence. Leon, Percival, Elyan, and even Rolan seemed to share Arthur's skepticism. Gwaine did look a little more alert than usual. And Mordred seemed to be truly concerned.

Merlin sighed. It was amazing that, even after all these years of Merlin being right, Arthur still refused to listen to him most of the time. At least there were a couple others who were willing to take his concerns seriously.

* * *

Kerenza stood beside Gaius as he slowly worked on his concoction. His hands were shaking terribly - he'd been getting much weaker within the last few weeks, at a rather alarming pace - but he refused to allow her to complete the task for him. So she stood nearby, ready to assist if she needed to.

She hated to see his health failing him. She had come to care for him. He reminded her in many ways of her uncle Arlen. But she also knew how much Merlin cared for the physician. He was like a father to her beloved. Kerenza knew it would devastate Merlin to see just how weak Gaius had become, which was exactly why Gaius tried so hard to hide it from his former ward.

Oh, how she wished there were something she could do for him. But there was no natural cure for old age. There were ways of cheating death, using magic, but they were dangerous paths to follow. She was certain that Gaius would never want to step onto one of those dark paths.

Perhaps that was why he so studiously hid his suffering from Merlin. The young sorcerer would do just about anything for those he cared about, even things that he shouldn't. He had played with the powers of life and death before - he'd told her of his dealings with the sorceress Nimueh after Arthur had been bitten by the Questing Beast. The scar on his chest was a physical reminder of his willingness to bargain a life for a life. And while Nimueh had taken advantage of him, and tried to steal a life that he hadn't bargained, Merlin had still been willing to make the trade. A person should not interfere with the natural order of life and death.

Gaius knew, perhaps better than anyone else, what Merlin would sacrifice to save his loved ones.

"How are you feeling today?" she asked gently, as he poured the liquid into a small vial and stoppered it.

Gaius sighed. "I'm an old man, Kerenza. I feel like an old man." He sank onto the nearest stool. "I've lived a long time, my dear. My time is coming, and soon. I realize this."

She knew she couldn't argue with the truth of his words. So she chose not to say anything. She simply sat on the bench near him and gently clasped one of his trembling hands in her own.

He smiled gratefully at her. "I have been fortunate enough to see Arthur take the throne, and to see magic return to this kingdom. I have watched both Arthur and Merlin grow into the great men that they are today. It is an honor to have been able to witness all of that."

That made her smile. "It is an honor." She hadn't had the opportunity to see most of it, but she did get to see them continue to grow and mature every day. She did consider it an honor to be privy to that.

"And I know that, when I am gone, this court will be in good hands. You have made me proud. You will make a fine Court Physician someday soon."

She felt her cheeks heat up slightly. "Am I a better apprentice than Merlin was?" she asked, mostly teasing, although she was curious as well.

Gaius chose to answer her seriously. "In most ways, yes. Merlin is a fast learner; he always has been. But he has also always been distracted by destiny. He is destined to be so much more than a physician. It was really never fair to ask him to try to divide his attention. His priority has always been Arthur. I don't believe that there is anything wrong with that being his priority. The kingdom needs it that way. But it doesn't make for a good physician. _Your_ priority is your patients. You have steady hands. You are hardly ever clumsy. You are able to make quick decisions. You are better suited for the healing arts. I love Merlin like a son, but I believe that he is finally where he needs to be. And you are where you need to be."

Kerenza was touched. She hadn't expected him to say all of that. "Thank you."

He squeezed her hand. "Would you be willing to take this to the queen?" he asked, nodding to the vial he had just finished preparing. "It will help with her aches and pains."

"Of course. You get some rest. I'll take care of this." She stood, taking the vial from the table. She left the physician's quarters, quickly making her way through the castle. When she had first arrived in Camelot, she had been a bit intimidated by the sheer size of the castle. She had been worried that she would never learn to navigate its halls, let alone the winding streets of the lower town. Now, she knew her way around without any problems. She had settled in quite well.

She still missed the forest some days. She missed the freedom of being able to run through the trees, barefoot and carefree. But she was glad that she had decided to come. As much as she missed the druid camp, Camelot had somehow become home to her. And when the castle felt too stifling, she would escape to the woods for an hour or two, to bask in the wonders of nature.

She knocked gently on the door of the queen and king's chambers. "Enter," Guinevere's voice called.

Kerenza stepped inside, nodding once to each of the guards standing on either side of the door. The queen stood at the window, looking down at the courtyard below. Her back was toward the door, though she did glance behind her briefly.

"Kerenza."

"Your Majesty. Gaius made you a potion that should help with the discomforts of carrying a child."

Guinevere chuckled softly. "They've been rather mild so far. I'll count my blessings."

Kerenza glanced toward the window as she set the vial on the bedside table. From where she stood, she couldn't actually see the courtyard, though she knew it was there. "Does it ever get easier?" she asked quietly. "Waiting for them to return?" She knew that they wouldn't be back for a few weeks, but she couldn't help that feeling of expectation they would arrive back home any moment.

Guinevere's smile was both sad and understanding. "Not really. Every time they leave, they take a small piece of my heart with them. They have always returned, but I can never fully relax until they do."

Kerenza sighed. She hated this feeling, this feeling of uselessness. Just like the queen, she felt as though part of her heart had followed Merlin. And she knew, without a doubt, that it would always be like this. Every time he left the city, and she was unable to follow, she would be filled with this gut-wrenching worry. And with the positions that they each held, it was unlikely that she would be able to follow him. As the future Court Physician, she would be needed more often in the city itself than throughout the rest of the kingdom. She would often be left behind as she had been this time.

If she didn't loved him the way that she did, she would never even consider putting herself through such cruel torment time after time. It was torturous. She had never been willing to cause herself so much pain for one young man. It had never seemed worth it to her.

But she did love him, and she would suffer this torment a thousand times over if it meant being with him.

"Kerenza," the queen called softly. She was studying her face closely. "It is one of the most difficult things in the world, to watch them ride out of that courtyard. But watching them ride back into that courtyard is one of the most wonderful things in the world. It is always worth it."

Kerenza smiled. "I don't doubt that for a moment." Merlin was worth any amount of torment, she was sure of that.

* * *

 **So, normally, in medieval times (from what I understand), the queen and king actually lived in separate quarters. They were usually adjoined by a door or something. But in the show, I noticed that it seemed like Arthur and Gwen lived in the same rooms. So that's how I'm setting it up here.**

 **And somehow, the actual threat keeps getting pushed back to another chapter. It probably won't be in the next one, either. There might be a hint, though. We'll see.**

 **To NerdGirlAlert: Yay! So glad that it was better than them actually running into a wendigo, in your mind.**

 **To Hachiko33200: He can be quite foolish. And I have somewhat of an idea, but I'm not totally in love with yet, so** **…** **I don't know. I'm open to suggestions. And like I said, your English is amazing. I never would have guessed you weren't a native English speaker.**

 **To TheDarkestDreams: Aw, thanks. That does make sense, actually. He can be difficult to capture, so I'm thrilled that I seem to be pulling it off. He's such an open book, and yet** **…** **kind of secretive. Complicated, yet simple. He's just** **…** **argh. He's just Merlin.**

 **To guest: I made a list of words like gullible, idiot, fool, etc. Elbillug was the only one that sounded even halfway decent. I mean, toidi was stupid. So was loof, and diputs.**

 **To SisterOfAnElvenWannabe: I'm glad that you're glad. I really was worried that that chapter would be too crazy. And thanks for the idea! I don't know if you meant for me to actually use, but I did.**

 **To mersan123: It's amazing that Arthur still ignores Merlin's "funny feelings" after all this time (even if it is technically Kerenza's "funny feeling" this time). He should know better. He really should. Such a thick skull, that man!**

 **To KIMMIKY: I promise, in this fic, wendigos are extinct!**

 **To xxxLeanniexxx: I was having fun with Arthur's reactions, that's for sure.**


	37. Thirty-Six: Empty

**Oh, Arthur and his stubborn arrogance.**

* * *

THIRTY-SIX: EMPTY (252 days)

Arthur was glad that they were making this journey. He truly was anxious to see how his outer villages were taking the news. He hoped they were a little more accepting than the citizens of the city.

Not only was he glad for the chance to personally see to the mindset of the kingdom, he was also glad to be out of the castle, with his most trusted men at his side. With all the changes that had been happening recently, they had all been needing something familiar.

They had all easily fallen back into their usual routine of bantering, even with the slight changes. Rolan seemed to fit in fairly well, though Arthur and the rest of the knights did find themselves feeling a bit awkward around him - he was no Merlin. The sorcerer himself seemed to get along with him quite well. He often helped the servant with his tasks, which didn't surprise the king at all.

Overall, Arthur had enjoyed this trip so far, despite the fact that he already missed Guinevere. He always missed her when he traveled, though. That was nothing new. And Gwaine. The knight was being his usual obnoxious self, making Arthur's life much more difficult than it needed to be.

The king was a little a worried about Merlin's sense of foreboding - though he would never, ever admit it to anyone. Least of all Merlin. He wouldn't be surprised at all if they were attacked - most likely by bandits, as that seemed to be their most common type of attacker.

The thing was, they always ran into trouble while they were traveling, and they always came out of it just fine. So he wasn't too worried. He and his knights could handle a few measly bandits. And with Merlin finally able to openly use his magic…Well, bandits - or really, anything else - wouldn't stand a chance.

He _couldn't_ be too worried, not with the powerful Emrys by his side.

Gwaine's voice, somewhere behind him, pulled the king out of his thoughts. "Leon," he called, his smirk obvious in his voice. That wasn't very surprising, though. Gwaine was almost always smirking.

Sure enough, when Arthur glanced back, he saw that Gwaine had a large smirk plastered on his face. Leon, riding near him, sighed heavily. "Whatever you are about to say, Gwaine, please don't."

"I just have a question for you. It's quite simple." When Leon didn't respond, he continued. "When are you going to be a man and marry Regina? You've been courting her since the end of last summer."

Now it was Leon's turn to smirk. "And?" he challenged. Arthur doubted the man was unaware of the bets the other knights had taken on when he and his beloved would be wed. He was probably enjoying Gwaine's desperation.

Gwaine had been convinced that they would be married by midsummer, and that was only about a month away. Unless Leon proposed the moment they returned from this journey, Gwaine would lose his money.

"Just marry the woman already."

Leon chuckled. "So you can line your pockets? That is not a good enough reason to get married, my friend."

The rest of the men chuckled at Gwaine's scowl. The roguish knight then turned his attention to Merlin, since he obviously wasn't going to be able to get anywhere with Leon. "What about you?" he demanded.

"What about me?"

"When are you going to marry Kerenza?"

Arthur's attention was fully captured by that. He glanced back at his former manservant, curious. Merlin was blushing just slightly, even as he narrowed his eyes at Gwaine. "Would I be right in assuming that you've all made wagers on my love life as well?"

"Of course we did. We all know you're going to marry her. We've all seen how you are together."

Arthur felt himself smirk at that, a bit of pride coloring his voice as he pointed out, "All thanks to me." He had been, after all, the one to ensure that they had plenty of time to spend together.

The sorcerer rolled his eyes. "We've had this discussion before, Arthur. It had nothing to do with you, you arrogant prat." Then he looked at each of the knights in turn. "What has everyone wagered?"

Gwaine shook his head before anyone could answer. "Oh, no. We are not going to tell you. If you knew, you would find a way to make sure we all lose."

"I wouldn't do that," Merlin protested, even though they all knew that he would.

Gwaine snorted. "Yes, you would. Merlin, you and Kerenza pretended to have sex in the woods to make Arthur uncomfortable. Of course you would find a way to get married and make us all lose our money in the process."

Mordred, Elyan, and Leon were looking at Merlin in curious surprise. Knowledge of Merlin and Kerenza's picnic antics weren't commonly known. Arthur wondered how Gwaine knew. Rolan and Percival both looked a bit impressed as well as surprised. Arthur shifted, uncomfortable with the memory, even if it had been an act. It had been a damn convincing one.

"You and Kerenza…pretended to make love…in the woods?" Elyan asked.

"In front of Arthur," Gwaine added.

Percival whistled. "That is brilliant."

Arthur scowled. He didn't need anyone encouraging Merlin's ridiculousness. "It was traumatizing. I thought they were really going to…" he trailed off with a shudder.

Merlin smirked. "I was trying not to laugh."

Well, that explained the shaking. It had been suppressed laughter, not… "What exactly was Kerenza saying to you?" he asked, suddenly curious.

"She said that you had a toadface." Arthur narrowed his eyes. "And she said that you would look good with donkey ears."

He ignored the raucous laughter of his men as his anger built. "And just how," he began through gritted teeth, "did Kerenza know about the donkey ears, Merlin?" His father had worked very hard to keep word of the goblin incident from spreading beyond the castle itself. Very few people knew about the fact that Arthur had once had his ears transformed. The only way that a druid girl, who had previously been living in the forest, could have known, would be if someone told her.

Merlin's smirk widened. "I had to practice the spell, the one her uncle performed."

"What spell?" How did that connect to the goblin incident in any way?

"The storytelling one. Kerenza was teaching me, and I had to practice telling her stories using the spell."

So not only did his idiot best friend tell her about the incident, he had done so in a way that ensured that she would have seen the incident. Arthur glared at his friend for a full minute before he took his boot off and threw it. Merlin ducked his head quickly, but the shoe still managed to clip the side of his head. Though it would have missed him altogether if his horse hadn't shied to the side a bit.

"Ow," he whined, rubbing his head.

"Now pick up my boot, Merlin," the king commanded.

Merlin narrowed his eyes. In the next instant, Arthur's boot was rushing toward him, obviously propelled by magic. He barely managed to catch it before it hit him. "MERLIN!"

The sorcerer suddenly pulled his horse to a stop, and Arthur thought he was going to turn and race away from the king, in a fit of cowardice. But then Merlin's eyes widened and his expression twisted into a grimace of pain.

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Stop being dramatic. The boot barely touched you. And this is far too delayed of a reaction to be authentic." Merlin didn't respond. Instead, he groaned once and buried his head in his hands. "Really, Merlin. Stop being such a girl."

Nothing.

No snarky or witty reply.

Merlin did finally lift his head, but only to look up at the sky. Then he opened his mouth and practically yelled at the clouds above him, in a voice that caused all of the horses to whinny and shift nervously.

" _ **O drakon, e mala soi ftengometh tesd'hup anankes. Erkheo. Anale tendai gard amasen fulakson**_."

For the first time since discovering Merlin's magic, Arthur was truly frightened of his friend. The words that poured out of the sorcerer's lips were ancient and filled with raw power. His voice was deeper than Arthur had ever heard it before. There was something primal to it, something terrifying.

 _This_ was the great and powerful Emrys.

Not just Merlin, his bumbling and idiotic friend. But Emrys, the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth.

Arthur shivered at the sheer magnitude of the power his friend had at his command. Camelot was lucky that Merlin was such a good man. It would take no effort at all for him to destroy the entire kingdom.

The knights and Rolan could only stare. Merlin was still looking at the sky, as though he were waiting for someone.

"Merlin -"

The sorcerer held up a hand, cutting off the king. Arthur didn't say anything else.

Minutes passed.

Ten, twenty, forty.

Finally, after nearly an hour, Merlin looked down with a sigh, his shoulders sagging. "He's gone."

Arthur had no idea who Merlin could be talking about. A quick glance at the rest of the group told him they were just as confused. Mordred did look a little…sad as well. Did he know who Merlin was talking about? "Who?" the king asked Merlin.

The sorcerer shook his head. "Never mind," he said softly, spurring his horse faster, until he was riding ahead of the rest of them.

Frowning, Arthur looked at Mordred. "Do you know who he's talking about?"

Mordred shook his head and rushed to ride beside Merlin.

* * *

Merlin was struggling to come to terms with the fact that Kilgharrah was dead. The Great Dragon was gone, and the world felt a little emptier for it.

It had been an hour since Merlin had felt the sudden absence of the creature. And while he had not always liked Kilgharrah, he mourned his loss. The Great Dragon had been a creature of magic, one of the few remaining. Of course his death would leave an empty hole in the fabric of the world.

The knights had been pestering him the entire time, wanting to know what had happened. Mordred, despite riding beside him, had not asked him a single question. He'd remained silent, offering his support. It was comforting.

 _ **Did you feel it?**_ he finally asked the druid knight. He didn't want to talk about it with any of the others. But Mordred was a druid. He was more likely to have felt the impact as well, in some small way. And he was more likely to understand Merlin's emotions.

Mordred sighed. _**I felt something. I'm not sure what. A…loss. Something powerful is missing from the world.**_

 _ **The Great Dragon is dead.**_

Mordred didn't reply. It was just as well, though, because they had reached the first village. Someone must have seen them traveling through the forest, because an old man was waiting for them.

"Your Majesty," the man called. "Welcome to Brookdell. I am Madoc, the chief village Elder."

Arthur moved to the front of the group. He dismounted, nodding at the man. "Thank you. I hope it won't inconvenience you to provide us with somewhere to stay for tonight and tomorrow night."

Madoc's gaze flickered to Merlin, and the sorcerer knew what he was going to say before he said it. "We could never refuse you, Your Majesty. But we will not house a sorcerer within Brookdell. I'm afraid there are no beds available for the sorcerer. I will not subject the villagers to that."

Merlin sighed, closing his eyes. He wasn't very surprised by this remark. Arthur, however, was both surprised and enraged. "Excuse me? You are aware that Merlin is a member of my _court_? As such, he deserves your hospitality. Just as much as I myself deserves it."

Madoc clenched his jaw. "He is still a sorcerer, Your Majesty."

"Arthur," Merlin said quietly, before Arthur could do something rash and stupid. "It's all right. I'll make camp just outside the village. If they're uncomfortable with magic, I won't impose myself on them." And before anyone could try to dissuade him, he turned his horse around and away from the village. He would actually appreciate the solitude. It would allow him time to grieve over Kilgharrah's death.

* * *

 **O drakon, e mala soi ftengometh tesd'hup anankes. Erkheo. Anale tendai gard amasen fulakson - o dragon, permit the appeal for an audience to speak here, fierce, wise-minded one. Come to earth. I utter your presence.**

 **I debated about killing Kilgharrah. But he really was getting old.**

 **Hachiko33200: I blame you. I had seen every episode of the first ten seasons of Supernatural. And then I had to binge-watch the eleventh season after your comment, so the late chapter is your fault, lol. I love Supernatural. Some of my favorite episodes are Yellow Fever, the French Mistake, and Dog Dean Afternoon.**

 **NerdGirlAlert: Um…no comment about Gaius. And of course there will be more references scattered about.**

 **SisterOfAnElvenWannabe: Good! And silly Arthur. One day he'll catch on.**

 **Guest: That's what I was going for. I've always thought that Gaius was extremely healthy for a man of his age during that time period.**

 **xxxLeanniexxx: He really shouldn't give Gwaine so much ammo. It's amazing to me, just how thick Arthur can be sometimes.**

 **Steph-la: Thanks! I think I've actually done a decent job with her.**


	38. Thirty-Seven: Solitude

THIRTY-SEVEN: SOLITUDE (244 days)

Merlin never did get the solitude that he'd wanted. He hadn't gotten more than a few feet from the village of Brookdell before the others had joined him. First it was Gwaine, which really shouldn't have surprised him, yet it did. Then the rest followed. Mordred, Percival, Leon, Elyan. Arthur and Rolan were the last. They all insisted on making camp with him outside of the village.

When Merlin had demanded _why_ they would do such a thing, Arthur had repeated what he had apparently told Madoc. That to disrespect one court member was to disrespect them all. He had then given the village Elder a chance to change his mind, and offer a bed to the Court Sorcerer.

Madoc had remained silent.

So Arthur and the others had joined Merlin, and while he appreciated their support, he really would have rather been alone. They hadn't given him the chance to be alone, not since Kilgharrah's death. He'd barely been given enough privacy to relieve himself, let alone try to think.

Which was probably why, eight days and five villages later, Merlin was hiding. He'd managed to slip away, under the pretense of laying the protection spells around their camp - they were just outside the latest village, and he had received no more hospitality there than he had anywhere else. Only two villages had offered him a bed, and that had only been because their leaders were cowed enough by Arthur's anger. There had been many heated glares sent in Merlin's direction, in every village they had visited. Even when they didn't stay the night inside the town, the villagers were uneasy around the group.

There had been a tenseness in each of these villages that seemed to go beyond a mistrust of magic. Except that Merlin knew that that was a ridiculous thought. The people simply had lost too much at the hands of sorcery, and now they didn't trust it. Merlin was just reading too much into it. He had to be.

He just needed a chance to clear his head, without any of his friends trying to cheer him up. So he found himself a tree to climb. He knew nobody would find him. He was higher than any man could climb without the aid of magic. He'd also walked quite a ways before climbing the tree. Nobody would bother him there.

Finally, he could breathe. He'd felt so…stifled over the past week. His friends had been hovering, trying to encourage him not to take the reactions of the villagers to heart. They meant well, but their presence had become more annoying than reassuring. And Merlin wasn't nearly as upset by the reactions of the villagers as they all seemed to think he was. Yes, it was disheartening to see the fear and the hatred that was directed at him. But he understood why they feared and hated sorcery. And something just seemed off about the glares. He couldn't figure out what.

No, what was upsetting him was Kilgharrah's passing. Of course, the others still had no knowledge of that, besides Mordred. They didn't know what was truly upsetting him.

What made him most upset about it, though, was his own very conflicted emotions. He was both sad and relieved that the Great Dragon was gone. And he felt guilty that he felt relieved. It was slightly confusing.

Kilgharrah had been a creature of magic, kin to Merlin. He had been a dragon, beautiful and majestic and _right_ in the world. He had been a mentor to Merlin. A friend, even, at times. So of course he was going to miss the giant reptile. And Merlin always mourned the loss of life, any life. It was a tragedy.

But Kilgharrah had manipulated Merlin on many occasions. Merlin often wondered how much of what he told him was based in fact, and how much was based in the dragon's own biases. How often had he twisted the truth to fit his own needs? And Kilgharrah could be just as ruthless as Uther. He had slaughtered so many innocent lives when Merlin had set him free, all in the name of revenge.

He was arrogant and cryptic and manipulative. He was wise and strong and clever.

And he was gone.

Now, Aithusa was the last of her kind. That burden fell on her young shoulders now. A burden that he understood all too well, being the last Dragonlord. It was a terrible thing, to know that your kind would die with you. Merlin, at least, had a chance of passing on his legacy, were he to ever have a son. But Aithusa...There would never be another dragon.

Movement in the forest below caught his eye, pulling him out of his troubled thoughts. Frowning, Merlin studied the man leaving the village of Lordell. There was something familiar about him, though he couldn't make out the man's face. Merlin was certain he'd seen him before. But he couldn't know for sure from his current spot. All he could see from here was the back of the man as he snuck through the trees, but the way he crept seemed familiar. His build, and even his clothes. Merlin had seen him before, somewhere.

Frowning, Merlin muttered a spell under his breath. " _ **Dieglan fram gesiehp. Dieglan fram hleocjor**_."

With himself shielded, he climbed down from the tree and rushed after the man. The spell would keep anyone from hearing or seeing him, but he still tried his best to keep to the shadows. It wasn't difficult to do, as the sun was sinking lower and lower in the sky.

He followed the man for nearly twenty minutes, unable to get a look at his face. The stranger was faster than he would have expected. Merlin's frown deepened when they came to a large tent, simple in design, yet obviously made for a noble. It was a deep red color, bordering on burgundy. The man ducked inside.

Deciding not to push his luck, Merlin stood outside. He strained his ears. "Master," a distantly familiar voice began. Where had he heard that obnoxious voice before? "Little King Arthur remains blissfully ignorant. The villagers have not said a word."

"And our soldiers? Is Arthur aware of their presence?"

That voice was familiar as well. Merlin needed to see just who was speaking - and, obviously, plotting. He whispered, though there was no real need for him to stay quiet, " _ **Hawian in dierne**_."

A portion of the tent wall seemed to shimmer, and then a small rectangle of the fabric became transparent, allowing Merlin to see inside the tent. Even if they looked in his direction - which he knew they wouldn't as they would have no reason to - the two men inside wouldn't see the hole in the fabric.

Merlin's eyes widened. The man he had followed through the trees was none other than Trickler. He stood behind King Alined, who sat at a small chess table. But what were they doing on the outer edges of Camelot, alone? There were no guards near this tent. It was just Alined and Trickler, alone in the middle of the woods. Kings rarely traveled without guards. Arthur was an exception. And even then, he usually traveled with his knights. Very rarely would he just travel with Merlin. It was dangerous for a king to go anywhere without some sort of protection. So what exactly were these two plotting?

Whatever it was, it could be nothing but trouble.

Trickler smirked in his creepy way. The man had always made Merlin uneasy. "They stay out of the way during the day, training in far off fields with the tools of the villagers," he told his king. "They only return to the village at night, to sleep. Lordell has refused to house the sorcerer, as they've been instructed to."

"Good. I would hate to have a repeat of Waterbourne and Orburn. My men were not happy about being forced to sleep on the ground so Arthur and his pets could have beds for the night."

Merlin frowned deeply. Waterbourne and Orburne had been the two villages who had actually provided Merlin with a bed. Did Alined have soldiers stationed in every one of Camelot's outer villages? How had he accomplished that? Surely someone at least one of the villages would have reported this to Arthur.

If Trickler was here, perhaps there was magic involved as well.

The villagers _had_ been acting strange in every village. Merlin had attributed most of it to distrust of magic, though it had seemed rather odd. But if they were secretly housing soldiers of another kingdom…Well, that would make anyone nervous, especially when their own king came to visit. No wonder everyone had been so closed off during their visits. Arthur and his group hadn't stayed more than a few hours in any village at one time - the hostility was much too obvious. Arthur's purpose in coming on this trip was to find out how his subjects felt about the repeal of the laws against magic, and their reactions had made their feelings perfectly clear. Arthur didn't need to stay very long in any one place when the evidence of their hatred was so obvious.

But now, Merlin wasn't sure how much of that hatred was authentic. Had Trickler put the villagers under some sort of spell? It certainly wouldn't be the first time.

"Only a bit longer," Alined mutter, mostly to himself. He tapped a chess piece against the table. "And then we will use Camelot's own people to destroy her."

Trickler laughed in that annoying way he had. "It's so brilliant, Master. It only took a teensy bit of magic to stir up all the mistrust of the villagers, turning it into hatred. Their hatred of magic has now blinded them. They will rise against their king when the time comes."

"And there will be no way to trace it back to us," Alined said with glee. "Our soldiers will seem like nothing more than upset villagers themselves. They'll blend in perfectly with the peasants."

Merlin snorted. So that was their plan. They were going to cause a revolt against the king, using his own people. He was suddenly grateful for the spell that he'd placed on himself earlier. Merlin slipped away, thinking. He wasn't quite sure how Trickler would have put entire towns under a spell. It wasn't likely that he would have put a potion into the water supply. Otherwise, Arthur and the knights would have been effected as well.

He should have known Alined would try something. There had been peace between the kingdoms for too long. And Alined hated peace. He didn't gain anything during times of peace. But Merlin had allowed himself to forget about Alined, as the cowardly king hadn't drawn any attention to himself. That had obviously been a stupid mistake.

Why couldn't they ever have a nice, quiet trip? Why did there always have to be some plot or evil to overcome? Every time.

Merlin just wanted a little bit of relaxation.

* * *

Arthur paced, his brow furrowing as he listened to Merlin. He couldn't believe it. He didn't _want_ to believe it. He also knew that Merlin wouldn't lie to him, not about something like this. "King Alined? You're certain it was him, Merlin?"

The sorcerer nodded. "Absolutely. I saw him and Trickler, through the tent. They didn't know I was there, of course. But it was definitely them."

"But why would Alined do something like this? It's been _peaceful_. With Morgana gone, the kingdoms have all been experiencing _peace_." Arthur couldn't even begin to fathom why Alined would want unrest.

Gwaine snorted. "Exactly, princess. That's the problem." When Arthur stared at him blankly, he sighed and continued, "It's not exactly a secret that King Alined thrives on war. He finds ways to profit from it."

"It's certainly not the first time he's done something like this against Camelot," Merlin stated.

The king slowly turned to the sorcerer. He felt his eyes narrow as that statement sank in. "When has King Alined plotted against Camelot?"

Merlin scratched the back of his head. "Oh. Uh, I never told you exactly _who_ put you and Lady Vivian under a love spell, did I?"

"Merlin!" He vaguely remembered Alined being disappointed about something at the end of the peace talks all those years ago, but he never would have guessed that Alined would go to such extreme measures to disrupt peace.

"It wouldn't have done you any good to know. You couldn't have done anything about it. You still can't. We need to figure out how we're going to stop him this time. I doubt getting Gwen to kiss you will break this spell. It will be difficult to break a spell that's effecting entire villages, especially when we don't know how the spell was administered. If it was a potion or something else. I suppose it _could_ be a potion, if it was one that only worked over a long period of time. That could be why we haven't been effected," Merlin mused. He seemed to be talking mostly to himself.

"So the villagers only hate magic because they've been put under a spell?" the king asked hopefully. If that was their only reason for the hatred, then perhaps his kingdom was more accepting of sorcery than he had been thinking. He hoped that was the case. This trip had started to make him feel quite discouraged. He'd been expecting much better reactions after the positive results of the festival.

Merlin sighed. "Maybe," he said, though he didn't seem very convinced. "It's more likely, though, that the spell just intensified their feelings of mistrust into hatred. And for many, the hatred may have already been there to begin with. In all honesty, though, I really don't know. I'm not entirely sure what spell was used, or how Trickler put everyone under it, or what all of the effects are."

Arthur ran his hand over his face, sighing in frustration. He didn't know what to do about this latest information. The last thing they needed was a revolt by the people. "Alined has violated the peace treaty he signed," Arthur said. "By organizing this, he has violated our agreement. I am no longer obligated to uphold Camelot's end of the treaty."

Merlin shook his head. "If we confront him, he'll claim that it's our word - _my_ word - against his. And right now, we only have my word. We have no evidence of his plans."

Arthur narrowed his eyes at his friend. "Are you saying that you think your word is worthless?" he demanded.

"Against a king, yes."

"Merlin," the king growled. He thought he had made it quite clear, in the last few months, that Merlin was an equal now. That he was to be respected as much as any other council member. How could he still think so little of himself?

"Arthur," Merlin countered. "We both know that my word means nothing against Alined's. I know that you believe me and that you value my opinion, but to the rest of the world...Well, I'm a known sorcerer. And I used to be a servant. My word is not going to carry much weight."

The king sighed. Merlin was right, as much as he loathed to admit it. Not many people would believe what a sorcerer had to say, especially against a powerful king. Even some of the members of his own council would have doubts. Not many, not anymore. But there would be a few.

"We should return to Camelot," Leon suggested. "Start strategizing."

Arthur hesitated. He really didn't want to continue this little journey, if he was going to receive the same results in every village. However, what he wanted and what he should do were two very different things in this case. As they usually were in his life. "That may not be the best idea. Alined is obviously watching our progress, and staying close to us. If we suddenly turn back, he'll know that he's been found out. We have to keep going."

"The rest of the council should be warned," Elyan pointed out reasonably.

"I can go," Merlin offered. "I can teleport to Camelot, tell the council what I heard and saw, and then teleport back here. I can teleport back and forth as we strategize, relay messages. Alined and Trickler will never know."

Arthur again hesitated. It was a good plan. He just worried about the dangers of it. "Teleporting is powerful magic, isn't it?" he asked. Since Merlin had become Court Sorcerer, the king had learned quite a bit about magic and how it worked. He still didn't know very much, but even he knew that moving oneself from one location to another was no easy feat. "Going back and forth will use a lot of your energy. You'll drain yourself if you're not careful." And when was Merlin ever careful?

Merlin grinned recklessly, which wasn't exactly reassuring. "I'm magic itself, Arthur, remember? I'll be fine."

* * *

 **My naivety in warfare and strategizing is probably blatantly obvious right about now. Sorry about that.**

 **Dieglan fram gesiehp. Dieglan fram hleocjor - to conceal oneself from sight. To conceal oneself from hearing.**

 **Hawian in dierne - to view in secret**

 **NerdGirlAlert: Sometimes, I'm cruel to characters.**

 **Lollypops101: Thanks. I'm hoping/tentatively planning to bring her in soon. _Maybe_ in one of the next few chapters. No guarantees, though.**

 **a person d: He, he. You're welcome (sarcasm noted, btw). Personally, Kilgharrah annoys me. He's too manipulative.**

 **halfbloodprince394: (love your username). I'm happy that you're enjoying it. I try to update regularly. Not always successful, but I do try.**

 **Linorien: At least you signed it, lol. And thanks.**

 **mersan123: Too bad he never seems to get it.**

 **xxxLeanniexxx: But of course. He's the most wonderful Cupid ever. At least the others didn't let Merlin go sleep in the woods by himself.**

 **SisterOfAnElvenWannabe: I'll be honest, it didn't bother me at all to kill him. I didn't do it just because I don't like him, I don't want anyone to think that, but his death didn't really sadden me. So I'm actually quite proud of myself to have been able to convey that sadness, without actually feeling it.**


	39. Thirty-Eight: Bed

THIRTY-EIGHT: BED (239 days)

 _My little bean,_

 _It's been far too long since I've heard from you. You need to write more often. I miss my little girl. I am thrilled to hear that you are so happy there in Camelot. You certainly seem to be thriving. I am so very proud of you, Kerenza, and the mature young woman you have grown into._

Kerenza felt herself smiling at that. She had never really given her mother many reasons to be proud. Worried, embarrassed, and exasperated, yes. She had caused those emotions in Ma more times than she cared to remember. But she rarely made Treasa _proud_. So it always warmed her heart to hear - or read - those words from her mother.

 _I have only ever wanted to see you happy and successful. And here you are. You are well on your way to becoming Court Physician someday. I know that you've always enjoyed healing others. And you're happily in love. And for once, I fully approve of the young man you are courting._

That made her chuckle. Kerenza had courted many boys over the years, though not seriously. None of those boys had ever really meant anything to her. Not until Merlin. Of course her mother hadn't liked any of them. Well, she had somewhat liked Bram. But Kerenza had only courted him for a week before she grew bored with him.

 _Speaking of courting, just when will the two of you get married? If he loves you even half as much as you love him, there is no reason for you not to be wed. I want grandchildren, Kerenza. Before I'm too old to enjoy them._

She groaned. She knew her mother was mostly just teasing her, but that didn't make it any less embarrassing. Merlin's mother hadn't mentioned anything about marriage or children to him. At least, not as far as Kerenza knew.

 _Although, I do wonder if you and Merlin have discussed his destiny, as Emrys. Is that what is holding you back? I'm sure you will find a way to make it work. If you truly love each other, you'll make it work._

Merlin's destiny. There was a reason the druids called him Emrys. The name meant immortal, which Merlin was, according to the prophecies. Prophecies could be misinterpreted, but she doubted this one had been. Merlin would live forever, so he could be there when King Arthur rose again. Kerenza knew that Merlin wasn't aware of why he was called Emrys, or why Arthur was called the Once and Future King. He wasn't aware that Arthur was destined to fall into an enchanted sleep upon his death, only to return years later, when Albion once again needed him. When Arthur returned, sometime in the future, he would need guidance from someone who understood the world in _that_ time, whatever time it happened to be. That someone was destined to be Merlin.

Merlin was destined to live as long as it took for Arthur to be needed again. If Kerenza married him, he would have to watch her age and die while he lived on. If they had children, he would have to bury them. Or at least, that was a possibility. No one knew exactly how long Arthur was supposed to stay in that enchanted sleep. It could be ten years, it could be a hundred.

Was it selfish of her to let Merlin suffer through that? Of course it was. It was terribly selfish. She knew that they couldn't just...get married, not without having that conversation first. Would it better for him to not love at all than to have to watch everyone he loves fade away? She wasn't sure which was worse. She knew that she didn't want to _not_ be with him. But she didn't think she could hurt him like that. It was a conversation that they would need to have, and soon, but not with the threat of Alined and Trickler. There was too much going on at the moment. And Merlin was still grieving over Kilgharrah, though he tried to hide it.

 _As for your question, I have not had any recent visions, not regarding any kind of threat. I can only assume that you're asking because something has happened. I understood that you can't tell me through a letter, so I won't ask what. I am sorry that I have no information for you. I doubt that a vision about the birth of a nobleman's daughter is of any help to you. Unfortunately, as you know, I can't see everything. Please, be safe. And tell Merlin to keep himself safe as well. He is not indestructible._

She snorted. Of course he wasn't, even if he sometimes thought he was.

 _I love you, my little bean. Love, Ma_

With a sigh, she set the letter on the small table beside her bed. She was frustrated, and a little disappointed. She had been hoping to give Merlin some useful information. She'd written her mother almost as soon as Merlin had told her what he'd found out. Her mother's response had arrived just an hour ago.

A thud, and then a clang, sounded, startling Kerenza. With a small squeal, she jumped to her feet and spun around. The door, which had been open just a crack, was now closed, with Merlin bracing himself against it. She could only assume that he'd teleported himself into the room, and then lost his balance and fell into the door, pushing it shut. It had happened once before, just two days earlier.

He looked around the room with a frown, yawning. "I did it again. I was aiming for the main chamber. Sorry."

"Merlin," she breathed. He looked utterly exhausted. "Merlin, you're being an idiot. Bed, now."

"I'm fine, Kerenza." He paused to yawn widely. "Where's Gaius?"

"At the market." She hadn't wanted him to go, but he had insisted. Fortunately, the queen had been in the room - Gaius had been giving her an examination, for the sake of the babe - and had offered to join him. With the queen and her strong guards, Kerenza knew that Gaius was in good hands. The old man would never admit it, but he was getting weaker. It really was better if he wasn't walking much without someone nearby. He'd fallen and nearly broken his hip earlier in the week.

She gave Merlin a stern look and pointed at the bed. "Bed. Now. Before you pass out from exhaustion."

He tried to give the bed a disdainful look, but she could see the corners of his mouth twitching upward. "I could never…sleep on that thing. It's…hard as a rock." He kept pausing to yawn, which was never a good sign.

She rolled her eyes. "Har, har, Merlin. Hilarious. You need sleep."

"I need…to tell the council what I…found out."

"The council can wait a little while longer. You can tell them _after_ you've rested for a bit."

"I don't need to…rest. Arthur made me rest…all morning."

"Clearly it didn't do much for you." She sighed, frustrated with him. He could be so stubborn sometimes. "Merlin. You can't even say a full sentence without yawning. Get your cute little bottom in that bed right this instant."

He smirked. "'Cute little bottom?'" he repeated.

Kerenza blushed just slightly. "Well, it is a bit cute. Oh, just…get in bed!"

"Fine," he said, pushing away from the door. He staggered toward the bed and plopped down into it, barely managing to make it that short distance without falling. "I'll sleep for…thirty minutes."

"Three hours," she countered. And honestly, she didn't think that three hours would be enough to get him _properly_ rested. But she'd be lucky if she could get him to agree to even that.

He shook his head as he laid down. "Forty-five minutes," he mumbled.

"Two and a half hours."

But he'd already fallen asleep.

She rolled her eyes, but in was in fondness, as she gently pulled off his boots and set them on the floor. It was warm enough that she doubted he'd need the blanket. She pressed a soft kiss to his forehead and left the room.

She tidied the main chamber, lost in her thoughts as she let Merlin sleep. She wished that he would learn to use a bit more caution, but she knew better than to expect it. Merlin wanted nothing more than to protect others - especially his king - even at his own risk.

He was teleporting too often, without allowing himself enough time to properly rest between each jump. He was immortal, supposedly, but he was not indestructible. There was a fine line between the two. It was possible to destroy even the great Emrys, and if he wasn't careful, he would end up doing just that.

She let him sleep for about two hours before she went to check on him. Not because she felt that two hours was long enough, but because she could hear him shifting around. He was probably already awake. Maybe, just maybe, she could convince him to go back to sleep.

Doubtful, but worth a try.

Sure enough, when she entered the room, he was sitting up. She smiled - he did look a _little_ better - until she realized what he was holding in his hands.

Ma's letter.

"Merlin!" Kerenza yelped, lunging forward to snatch the parchment from him.

The sorcerer somehow managed to look both abashed and teasing at the _same_ _time_. How the hell did he manage that? "'My little bean?'" he questioned.

She groaned. "How much did you read?"

"Just the greeting, and the first two lines. Sorry." He did actually sound a bit sorry. A bit. "I was curious. I couldn't resist. Is it from your mother?"

"Yes," she muttered. "That's been her pet name for me as long as I can remember. It's mortifying."

He sent her a slightly crooked grin, which of course made her heart melt. That was her absolute favorite expression on his face, that crooked grin. "I think it's sweet. What else did she say?"

"She didn't have any information that would help with Alined and Trickler. She also wants to know when we're going to get married." She had to get a bit of revenge for him trying to read her letter, even if he hadn't gotten very far. And the topic of marriage tended to make any man uncomfortable.

Merlin groaned. "Not her, too. The knights will not shut up about it. They've taken bets on when they think it will happen."

She arched an eyebrow. Now _that_ was interesting news. "Well, you know what that means, don't you? We have to find out when they each think it's going to happen, and then plan it so they'll all lose their money. That will teach them."

He laughed, getting to his feet. "That's exactly what Gwaine said we'd do, so he refuses to tell me. They're all keeping their silence."

Kerenza smirked. "I'm sure I can find out. You know how these things work. The entire castle staff is likely to know the details."

His smile faded. He looked quite serious as he said, "Are you sure we should do that, though? Didn't we learn our lesson, with the courtship? We shouldn't plan a marriage based on bets. We don't even know if that's what we want."

"We don't have to get married. I am extremely curious about when they think we'll get married. So, I still want to find out, even if nothing comes of it. And if we do choose to get married, _then_ we can have some fun with it."

"Gwen might be able to help you, then. She was a servant once, too. And I'm sure she'd be more than willing. She likes you." He bent down to put on his boots.

Her cheeks colored at the slight praise. "I'll ask her," she muttered. She felt more comfortable with the queen than she had when she'd first met her, but the idea of asking Guinevere for help with something so trivial still seemed daunting. But maybe she could use this to her advantage. "On one condition."

Merlin, who had just started to pull on his second boot, paused. He looked at her, his eyes narrowed. "Which is?"

"You are not allowed to teleport more than twice per day, one time in each direction."

"So that's how it is. Bribery."

"Yes. I can't seem to get you to listen any other way, obviously. And you're going to hurt yourself if you keep going at this rate. You and I both know it. Besides, think of how much money they'll all lose. Has Arthur placed a wager?"

Merlin shrugged, yanking on his boot. "I wouldn't doubt it. I _do_ enjoy any chance to make Arthur lose his money. All right. Two teleportations per day, and no more."

Kerenza allowed herself to breathe a sigh of relief.

"Now, can we go talk to the council, or are you going to force me back into the bed?"

She knew that he hadn't meant it sexually. That was probably the furthest thing on his mind at the moment. But, somehow, that was how it had sounded. "Don't tempt me," she warned. "I could happily tie you down to that bed. But Ma would kill me if I wasn't a virgin on my wedding day."

His ears turned pink. It was rather adorable. She enjoyed making him flustered. "Kerenza!" She noticed that he had scurried even further away from the bed. "Focus, please."

"You're the one who mentioned the bed," she pointed out.

Merlin opened the door. "I really need to talk to the council. I finally was able to figure out what potion Trickler used, from the sample I managed to steal the day before yesterday. Now I know what enchantment, exactly, the villagers are under."

"That's good, isn't it?" She followed him through the main room and into the castle itself.

He sighed. "It would be, if I could actually do something about it. All it took was one large vial of Trickler's potion, poured into the main water supply of each village, and it slowly started turning their fear and mistrust into absolute hatred. Even the tiniest fleck of mistrust or fear would have been amplified. He was also able to focus that hatred onto something specific - magic. The only way to break the spell, that I know of, is to have the sorcerer who cast it renounce it. It's strange. And it sounds a bit ridiculous, but Trickler would have to publicly announce, at the site that the potion was used, what he had done and call an end to the enchantment. That would then make the potion useless. So I would have to somehow get Trickler to do this in each village."

She winced. "That's not good. I'm assuming he would never do something like that."

He shook his head. "I doubt it. He's a slimy creature, and he seems incredibly loyal to Alined. I don't think we're going to be able to avoid a battle, not this time. The villagers are too angry. And, honestly, I don't know how much of that anger is caused by the spell. We're not going to be able to talk anyone out of this, or break the spell before a battle happens. I just hope I'm wrong this time."

* * *

Sometimes, Merlin really hated being right.

He'd spoken with the council, who had agreed that it was time to send reinforcements. The idea had been thrown around several times in the past few days. Both Arthur and the council had thought there was still a chance to resolve this without the need for violence, though, so that had been everyone's first priority. It was obvious that that was not going to be an option. They still needed to decide the best way to keep the men's movements hidden, but an army would be coming.

But of course, none of those plans ended up coming to fruition.

Because as soon as he teleported back to their camp, Merlin realized that it was surrounded. By angry-looking villagers.

Before he could so much as blink, a collar of cold iron was being clamped around his neck. Almost immediately, his magic seemed to recoil and draw into a tight ball in the pit of his stomach. The cold iron was very rare, and therefore expensive, but it was worth its price. It created a barrier between a sorcerer and his magic, making impossible for the sorcerer to cast any spells, verbal or mental.

And now Merlin was wearing a damn collar made of the vile metal.

* * *

 **Ugh. I hate the word yawn. Every time I type it, or read it, or even think it, I do it.**

 **And yes, Kerenza's comment about the bed was probably way too bold for the time period, but the show didn't always stick to proper social conventions for the era, so I don't have to, either.**

 **Cold iron. So, I've seen several other fics with the stuff (I think that's what they called it), and it's always intrigued me. Most people seem to use it just a bit differently, so I decided to go for it. I thought about having Morgana use it way when - except she wouldn't have any reason to put it on Merlin, as she didn't know that he was Emrys. And she wasn't stupid enough to think that she could ever get close enough to Emrys to use the cold iron against him, while he had his powers.**

 **I'll tell you all now, the war probably won't really be drawn out. I'm not all that great with writing war scenes. You've been warned.**

 **And Merlin's immortality - it will be discussed at some point in the fic, between Merlin and maybe Kerenza or some other druid or something. Ugh. I wish I could ignore the immortality. It's kind of annoying. I did take some liberties with the prophecies or whatever. Well, kind of.**

* * *

 **mersan123: I'd be a little worried if it _didn't_ fill you with some dread.**

 **Guest: They were actually really easy to capture, especially Trickler. I was pleasantly surprised.**

 **Guest: Please, please don't take this the wrong way, but I think they would still need to be fertilized. I think it takes two, even for dragons. In my mind, magic is capable of a lot of things, but not everything. Someone else is welcome to write that she lays a clutch of eggs, but it won't be me. Sorry.**

 **SisterOfAnElvenWannabe: Those two just disappeared in the show. There's no way they wouldn't have kept plotting.**

 **NerdGirlAlert: I don't remember what first inspired me to bring them into the story, but then I couldn't get the idea out of my head.**

 **Superwholockmerlinwestwing: Wow. Longest username I've seen, I think. Probably not, because I suck at writing wars. Was that enough Merlenza (I already had a rough outline of the chapter when I read your review, and I thought that was ironic that I was already planning some Merlenza fluff - hopefully it was enough for now). And there isn't really a schedule. I just update when I finish a chapter. Some take longer to write than others. I don't box myself in with update schedules. If I did that, I'd never update, because nothing would be good enough because I'd always be rushing it.**

 **xxxLeanniexxx: Thanks! I can't stand Trickler and Alined, but it makes sense (to me) that they would try something. And ha, you're so punny.**

 **Eleobeth: You sound like me. I don't like to stop in the middle of a binge read to leave a review. I respect those that can, and I totally understand those that can't. I'm so glad that it fells well-balanced to you. Hope you enjoyed this chapter as well.**


	40. Thirty-Nine: Concentration

THIRTY-NINE: CONCENTRATION (239 days)

A collar.

They put him in a _damn_ collar like a _dog_!

"Nice of you to finally show up," a familiar voice said, from somewhere behind Merlin. The king. Merlin knew him well enough to know that the derision in his voice was somewhat forced. He was trying to appear calm, unconcerned, in the face of their enemies. Which really wasn't the best sign. Arthur could be quite arrogant, and usually didn't feel the need to _act_ unconcerned - he usually just _was_ unconcerned.

Merlin glanced behind him, where he was sure to find Arthur. He hoped that he would only see the king. Because if he saw only the king, that meant the other knights were probably hidden away somewhere, and _that_ meant there was a chance of a rescue.

Damnit.

All of the knights were sitting behind him, cuffs of cold iron - no collars, though; that seemed to have been reserved just for Merlin - around their wrists. Why would the villagers put them all in cold iron? Mordred was the only other sorcerer of the group, and that wasn't exactly a known fact. There was no reason to put the rest of them in restraints that blocked magic.

Merlin had no idea how they were going to get out of this one. Well, he had an idea. But there was a possibility that it wouldn't work. And it wouldn't be an immediate solution.

He smirked at Arthur. If the king could act calm and taunt him, he could do the same back. "You know me, sire. I'm always late." Then he looked at the villager closest to him, the one who seemed to be acting as their leader. "Take the collar off," he commanded.

The man - he was tall and thick-waisted, with a bald head - snorted derisively. "I don't take orders from _animals_."

Merlin's eyes narrowed, but he didn't rise to the bait. "That would be clever, except that it's not. Take the collar off."

"You're acting as if I should be afraid. But you and I both know that there's nothing you can do. Not without your magic."

Merlin remained silent. Had he been a mere sorcerer, Bald Head's statement would have been true. But Merlin was no mere sorcerer. He was a warlock, born of magic. Not even cold iron could truly separate him from his magic. Scathach's spell had been the only thing to truly work, but she was a goddess. A goddess of magic. It was only to be expected that she could render his magic useless.

These were just men, and they didn't have Scathach's spell. And even if they did have a spell like that, he doubted they would use it. They claimed to hate magic, so why would they use it, even against their supposed enemies?

While his magic had recoiled at the cold iron, it hadn't been _separated_ from him, not like it was supposed to be. He wasn't like most other sorcerers. It would take a bit of time, but he was fairly certain that he could coax his magic back out. It wouldn't be easy, but it was possible.

He hoped.

"Not yet. But I will."

Bald Head just laughed again. Merlin had known that he wouldn't believe him. It was just as well.

The next thing that Merlin knew, the backs of his legs had been kicked with enough force to push him to his hands and knees on the ground. And then the villagers just walked away. They were still within sight, but barely. They didn't even leave anyone to guard their prisoners. They didn't seem worried about the men trying to escape.

And why would they? Without magic and hopelessly outnumbered, there was no chance of escape.

Gritting his teeth at the indignity of the position he was in, Merlin pulled himself up so he was sitting cross-legged. They hadn't cuffed his hands like they had the others, but even then, there was nothing he could do to help his friends. Not yet, at any rate. Cuffs of cold iron couldn't simply be picked open, not that Merlin knew how to do that, anyway. That was Gwaine's area of expertise. He would need the keys, or…Well, he'd have to work on that.

He looked at the others. As far as he could tell-from a brief glancing over - none of them were injured too severely. Mostly scrapes and bruises. It was clear that they'd each put up a fight, though, which was nothing less than Merlin would have expected. "Are you all right?" he asked quietly. The villagers weren't close enough to overhear them, but that was no reason not to be cautious. Just in case.

Gwaine shrugged, smirking slightly. "Nothing serious. I've had worse."

"What happened?"

Arthur rolled his eyes. "We were caught, somehow. You were seen teleporting, by one of the villagers, apparently. They probably overheard part of our conversation, either right before or right after you left. So they knew that we knew about Alined. I thought you put spells around the camp, to keep unwanted visitors far away," the king said, his voice accusatory at the end.

"I did!" Merlin protested. "I think I did." He frowned, thinking back. Had he forgotten to put up the spells? He was fairly certain that he had put them up. But it was possible that he'd forgotten, or that he hadn't made as strong as he should have. He had been rather tired lately.

Arthur crossed his arms, pursing his lips. "And you still think you haven't been stretching yourself too thin lately? I _told_ you, Merlin, that you needed to slow down and rest more. But of course, you chose to ignore me like you always do."

Merlin shrugged. He refused to admit that Arthur had a point. He had been stretching himself a bit too thin, and he'd ignored everyone's warnings. "I'm fine now. Kerenza made me take a nap." It wasn't entirely true. He certainly felt better than he had earlier in the day, but he was not fully rested and he knew it.

"Fat lot of good that will do, seeing as we're all wearing _cold_ _iron_. You can't use that wonderfully powerful magic of yours."

Merlin smirked.

Arthur stared at him, his eyes widening comically. The others were staring at Merlin as well. Mordred was the only one who didn't look as least a bit surprised at the possibility of Merlin being capable of breaking cold iron. "Wait…Can you?"

Merlin's gaze flickered to the villagers. They were far enough away that he doubted they would be able to overhear him and anything that he said, but he didn't want to risk it. He would really rather they didn't know about his one possible advantage. Not yet, at any rate. "Don't be ridiculous, _sire_. No _sorcerer_ could do that." Merlin had tried to explain to Arthur that he was more than just a sorcerer; he was a warlock. A warlock being someone who was born with magic. He was the only one, that he knew of. Arthur had seemed to realize the difference, so he hoped Arthur understood what he wasn't saying now. Ever since he had become Court Sorcerer, the king had actually gotten rather good at reading between the lines of what Merlin said.

But Arthur was still Arthur, and could be an idiot at times.

The king gave a nearly imperceptible nod, looking a bit relieved and extremely surprised. So he did understand. Good. "Do we know what their plan is, then?" Merlin asked, looking at the others again.

"They want to replace Arthur," Percival explained quietly, "with someone who will put the laws against magic back in place."

Merlin arched an eyebrow, absently scratching at his neck, digging his fingers underneath the cold iron. The collar chafed. "How do they expect to do that? They have no legal right to the throne. Even if Arthur were to die, Gwen would rule until his son came of age."

"I don't think they particularly care about _legal_ _rights_ , Merlin," the king said dryly. "Besides, they would probably force me to name one of them as my heir, and then have me abdicate my throne, instead of killing me outright. Otherwise, I'm fairly certain I would be dead already."

The sorcerer shook his head. "It doesn't make sense. I understand Alined and Trickler riling up the villagers to the point of them revolting. A war with your own people would be very beneficial for Alined. And it would leave Camelot vulnerable to other attacks, from other kingdoms. Attacks that Alined could also find a way to profit from. But how would he profit from simply having you replaced?"

"That's a fair point," Leon mused. "Replacing you doesn't guarantee any sort of war. In fact, this is probably the least likely way to start a war. If they killed you, and found a way to keep Guinevere from ruling as regent until the prince could take the throne, there would be a civil war for a new king. But this…It's too clean."

"Maybe Alined isn't aware of just what the villagers are planning," Mordred suggested.

"What do we do?" Elyan asked, looking at Merlin expectantly. In fact, they were _all_ looking at Merlin expectantly, even Arthur, which didn't make any sense whatsoever. It was like they thought he was the brilliant tactician, when in reality, he wasn't. He just the sorcerer. He was powerful and valuable, he didn't doubt that, but he wasn't a strategist.

"I…" He scratched at the collar again. It was going to leave a mark, at the very least, because of course it had been fastened directly onto his skin, right above the neckline of his tunic. He just hoped it wouldn't scar. If it did, he was definitely going back to wearing the neckerchiefs again. Although, considering the fact that the spelled one he was currently wearing was also below the collar, he supposed they wouldn't cover any marks made by it. If only Kerenza's protections had hadn't been made ineffective by the cold iron.

He sighed. "It's going to take some time," he murmured. His magic seemed to be quivering, almost, curled in on itself deep inside him. At least he would be able to access it, eventually. He was confident that he could, anyway.

Gwaine practically growled, glaring at the collar around Merlin's neck. "I'm going to kill them," he announced softly, though the quietness of his words did nothing to detract from the venom in them.

The sorcerer shook his head. "They don't deserve to die. Not for a piece of metal. We don't know how much they're being influenced by the spell. Just…don't, Gwaine. Please."

The knight pursed his lips. He didn't disagree, but he also didn't agree.

Arthur nudged Merlin's calf with his foot. "What do you need in order to…you know?" he muttered, his lips hardly moving at all, his voice barely a whisper.

Merlin shrugged. "Concentration. I should be able to…I just need to concentrate."

The king narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. Then he kicked Merlin onto his back on the ground - after making sure none of the villagers were looking in their direction - and whispered, "Pretend to sleep." Amazingly, the villagers hadn't seemed to spare a single glance in their direction. They had to know that they would be plotting escape.

Then again, they also had to know just how impossible escape would be.

Merlin didn't know what the king had up his sleeve, but he relaxed into the ground as much as he could, slowing his breaths down. He closed his eyes.

He heard Arthur sigh heavily and practically yell, "Useless sorcerer!" He was certain that it was loud enough for the villagers to overhear. Even if they couldn't make out the exact words, they would probably understand the general idea of what Arthur was saying. "Falling asleep on the job again, _Merlin_? Look at that, Leon, not even a twitch! He does this all the time. Just falls asleep. He could sleep through a battle with bandits with hardly a twitch…"

Merlin tried to hide his smirk as the rant continued. Most of it was untrue, of course. But the insults were falling readily - and rather loudly - from Arthur's lips. Anyone who knew anything about the king and his former manservant, and the way they often bickered, would believe the small farce, allowing Merlin the chance to concentrate on pulling his magic closer to the surface where it would actually do him some good.

If he didn't _actually_ fall asleep in the process, though…

* * *

 **They never really stated in the show if women were allowed to rule. I'm assuming yes, for several reasons. When Morgan took the throne, no one said anything about it not being appropriate for a woman to rule. If there was some law against it, I'm sure Geoffrey would have mentioned it. Also, Queen Annis seems perfectly able to rule after her husband's death. Now, with a child on the way, I would assume that Gwen's right to the throne would really only be a temporary thing. Without a child, she would be the ruler if Arthur died (as happened in the show). That's how I see it all working in my mind.**

 **And I formally apologize if any of the strategizing doesn't make sense. As I said before, I'm not very good at writing war stuff. At least, _I_ don't think I am. Maybe it's coming off better than it seems? I hope. So, yeah. It is what it is. I do my best. I wasn't all that thrilled with this chapter, to be honest, which is one of the reasons it's taken a bit longer to update. I don't know why. Maybe it's just the fact that I don't really _enjoy_ putting Merlin in the collar, even though the whole idea of the cold iron is intriguing to me. But I certainly wasn't going to let him be crippled by it. In the show, when he lost his magic, he seemed really terrified by some things. But I think that, having gone to the Crystal Cave (in this fic), he's so much more comfortable with himself and his abilities - all of his abilities. And he hasn't been totally separated from his magic.**

* * *

 **Hachiko33200: He would be adorably amazing (and don't think that I _haven't_ imagined it).**

 **SisterOfAnElvenWannabe: Unfortunately, the decline can be crazy fast sometimes. I've seen it, and heard about it, often enough. My aunt works in hospice, and I do adult in-home care. So, yeah. I had one client who was doing really well, and then just took a downhill dive one night. We lost her the next morning. It's insane.**

 **mersan123: I know. I'm sorry. I love and hate the collar. It is disturbing to see it on Merlin. But he's just so damn powerful that I'm not left with many options, especially when the enemies hate magic and wouldn't use it themselves.**


	41. Forty: A Wall

**Sorry!**

 **I promise I haven't abandoned this fic! I can't even believe it's been so long since I've updated. I got my first teaching job and** **…** **wow. I practically forgot what writing for fun was. I've basically forgotten about anything and everything outside of school. It didn't help that I was already at a writer's block with this story and had been struggling with it for about a month and a half. But lately, I haven't really had any free time. And this chapter has seriously been a pain to write. I changed the beginning about five times. And I'm so _so so so so so so_ sorry about how long it's been since my last update. *bows head in shame***

* * *

FORTY: A Wall (237 days)

Merlin woke with a start, his mind struggling to make sense of his surroundings. He was on the hard ground, which wasn't what had him disconcerted. What disconcerted him was the fact that there was no bedroll beneath him. Why would he have gone to sleep without a bedroll? It was dark enough that it had to be the middle of the night. There was no reason for him to sleep without his bedroll.

And his neck…There was a dull pain there, a subtle throbbing -

The collar.

He remembered. The collar had been placed on him two days earlier - perhaps closer to a day and a half - and he had been trying almost nonstop to get his magic to break the damn thing. He wasn't successful. He wasn't even sure he was making any real progress. He must have fallen asleep while working on it.

Again.

He'd done it about four times since he'd started, but he'd never stayed asleep longer than an hour each time. This time, he knew he'd been asleep for several hours-it had still been daylight when he'd dozed off.

He was deeply unsettled by the effect the collar was having on his magic, and he was more than ready to have it gone. It was almost worse than actually being separated from his magic. The way that his magic seemed to…tremble the closer it got to the barrier that the cold iron had created was disturbing, to say the least. And the more he forced his magic against the barrier, the more exhausted his magic seemed to be.

He'd always thought of his magic as something as highly instinctual, almost sentient. This experience merely confirmed that belief beyond a doubt. His magic was frightened.

He was certain that his magic could destroy the cold iron's barrier, if he could just get his magic to cooperate long enough to do it. He had to keep pausing, giving his magic a chance to recover between attacks on the barrier. Until he could break it down, there wasn't much that any of them could do except wait and hope for a rescue.

A rescue party would be sent out, eventually. Merlin knew that Kerenza was likely to already be concerned. They'd both known, when he'd promised to limit his teleportations, that he wouldn't be able to keep that promise. It had now been at least…thirty hours, give or take a few, since he had last gone to Camelot. Kerenza would be concerned, as would Gaius. And they would most likely share their concerns with Gwen.

The queen would arrange for them to be found.

But it would take time for a search party to be organized. The earliest a search party would be sent out would be at sunrise, which was still several hours away. They were currently camped only two days away from the castle - having circled back around the edges of Camelot, taking shortcuts where they could to get home faster.

So they were looking at a minimum of two days before anybody reached them. Four days was much more likely. Assuming, of course, that the villagers didn't take them somewhere else before help could arrive.

Instead of moving their prisoners, the villagers had surprisingly set up their own camp nearby. They had only come toward their captives three times, to give them stale bread and murky water. They seemed to be waiting for something, but that could quickly change. They could decide at any time to move their prisoners.

Their best option was for Merlin to just get the collar off. They couldn't wait around, hoping to be saved. They would have to get out of this on their own.

He glanced around, trying not to make it known that he was awake. The last thing he needed was a hovering villager. It was unlikely that they'd suddenly post a guard, but Merlin was still cautious.

Merlin wasn't really surprised to currently see the villagers all in their own camp, although there did seem to be an argument in process, despite the time of night. He couldn't make out who was fighting, or what about, even when he craned his neck.

"Two people rode into their camp about three hours ago, just after nightfall," a familiar voice said softly, just to the left of Merlin. Arthur. The king was sitting near Merlin's head, looking even more exhausted than the warlock felt. The rest of their group was asleep. "My guess is Alined and Trickler. Both riders were cloaked, but I can't think of who else it would be."

Sighing, Merlin sat upright. He tugged at the collar, even though he knew the gesture was entirely pointless. The metal wouldn't budge.

Arthur was watching him closely. "Can you really…?" he trailed off, nodding at the collar to emphasize his point. His voice was skeptical.

They hadn't really talked since Merlin had been collared, but he knew that the king was struggling to believe that he could truly break the collar. It had, after all, been nearly two days with no progress. The doubt was evident in his voice.

The warlock inclined his head. It wasn't a question of _if_ , but rather a question of _when_. "You know how cold iron works, don't you?"

The king rolled his eyes, huffing indignantly. "Of course I do, Merlin. Everyone knows. Cold iron takes away a sorcerer's magic."

"Not exactly. It might seem that way. You see, it creates a barrier, like a…wall between the magic and the sorcerer. An impossibly tall wall that can't be climbed over, and is too thick to be broken. A solid wall. The magic is there, but it can't be reached or even glimpsed by the sorcerer. But I…it's different for me."

"Because you're a warlock," Arthur guessed, "and not a regular sorcerer." They were both keeping their voices low, though it was obvious that none of the villagers were paying them any mind. They were too focused on whoever had ridden into their camp.

Merlin nodded in response to Arthur's question. "I think so. There's still a wall, but it's not as thick. And it's like it's clear. I can see my magic on the other side. I can interact with my magic. I'm slowly coaxing it into attacking the wall, but it's a slow process. It's like trying to break down castle doors with a mallet instead of a battering ram. And it's like my magic is trying to hide and actively trying to resist me, which my magic has never done before. But it truly doesn't like the wall. Each attack against the wall draws energy from my magic."

Arthur just shook his head. He thought it strange - and a bit frightening - to hear magic being described as though it were a living being. Merlin tried to avoid doing it, because he knew how much it unnerved his king. "You fell asleep," was all he said, though, his tone emotionless. "Again."

"Sorry," Merlin mumbled. He hadn't meant to, of course.

Arthur didn't respond.

They were quiet for several minutes, listening to the muffled and indistinct sounds of arguing coming from the villager's camp.

"This wall…What is it made of?"

Merlin frowned at his friend. "What do you mean? It's a _figurative_ wall, Arthur. It's not actually made of anything, except energy, I suppose."

"I know that. I just…Well, you obviously visualize it as a wall in your head. So, what kind of wall?" Arthur was almost squirming. It was obvious that he wasn't exactly comfortable with what he was asking. He didn't fully understand magic, and that still made him a bit nervous sometimes. Arthur was a warrior. He was used to dealing with things in a physical way. He didn't always like the way that magic tended to be…theoretical.

Merlin struggled to describe the wall in his mind. As he'd said before, it was a figurative wall. He didn't exactly _see_ it so much as sense it. "I don't know, Arthur. It feels…cold, I suppose. Like stone or ice."

"Hmm. Can you break it from your side? You said that it's a slow process, but can it be broken from the other side? Maybe it would go quicker if you were attacking from both sides."

The warlock shook his head. "If that were possible, cold iron wouldn't be nearly as effective as it is. Magic is the only thing effective against it. Most sorcerers can't break it because they can't command their magic with the wall in place. I can command mine, even through the wall. I'm doing everything that I can."

The king sighed. That wasn't the answer he'd wanted to hear, obviously. It wasn't the one Merlin had wanted to give. But he couldn't change the facts.

* * *

Kerenza chewed her bottom lip as she stared into the darkness ahead of her, her hand gripped tightly around Merlin's wooden dragon. She'd snatched it from his chambers before leaving. She had thought about using one of his other neckerchiefs for her tracking spell, before deciding against it, for two reasons.

One, Arthur had made him destroy all of his neckerchiefs, with the exception of the one Kerenza had kept. Two, the carving held more sentimental value for the warlock, making the spell stronger.

"We're getting closer," she muttered, mostly to herself. She was sure that the two knights just behind her heard her, though.

Almost immediately after Merlin had left, she had felt her protection spells suddenly disappear. Which meant that something had managed to destroy them all at once. She had placed some extremely powerful spells on that neckerchief, so whatever had managed to break them had been strong.

Merlin was in danger.

She had gone directly to Queen Guinevere, trying to clamp down her rising panic. She didn't even want to think about what kind of trouble Merlin had managed to get himself into this time.

Kerenza had worried that her concerns would be brushed aside and scoffed at, but she should have realized that Guinevere would never do such a thing. The queen had flurried into action, organizing a group of knights to travel with Kerenza to find Merlin and assess the situation, while she remained behind with the council to begin moving the army.

The young sorceress had never regretted not knowing a teleportation spell as she did in that moment-not that she was powerful enough to perform one. But it would be so much better if she could simply say a few words and be beside Merlin.

"Kerenza, we need to stop," one of the knights said. She didn't know his name. She didn't know the names of any of the men she traveled with. These weren't the knights that she was familiar with, Arthur's personal knights, nicknamed the Knights of the Round Table. She knew that they could be trusted, of course-Guinevere wouldn't have sent them with her if they couldn't. She just didn't know them.

"We can still see where we're going," she argued. Even though it was past midnight, their path was lit. She had surrounded them with a large sphere of light, guiding their way. The light was spelled so that it could only be seen by their group. Hopefully their approach wouldn't be noticed until it was too late.

"The horses need rest," the burly knight gently said. The other five knights said nothing, letting their leader come to a decision with Kerenza.

She sighed. She knew that he was right, that they couldn't work the horses too hard, even if she felt that she could go through the night. "All right," she said quietly, dismounting. "But only for an hour."

"We all need rest. We won't do King Arthur or Lord Merlin any good if we're too exhausted to fight."

Kerenza scowled. "No more than three hours."

* * *

 **Yeah, so I think that chapter was another one of my shorter ones. But it's better than nothing, and if I'd tried to make it any longer, it would have been another month before it got posted. So here it is.I seriously don't know when my next update will be. I'll try really hard to not let it be so long again, but I honestly can't make any promises. My brain is usually fried at the end of the school day. Those kiddos really drain me.**

 **Quill: You're not being rude. Again, I'm sorry for taking so long. My days have seriously been melting together and I honestly hadn't realized how long it had been. Work has kind of taken over my life.**

 **TheFallenApple: Life. But now I'm back.**

 **RainbowUnicorn: I didn't abandon it! Sorry, sorry, sorry.**


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